Bachelor Sean: Silver and Gold

THIS POST CONTAINS SPOILERS!  Lots and lots of spoilers.  Proceed at your own risk!

Every season that I blog The Bachelor, I feel like I've run a marathon!  I take exhaustive notes during the show and drink wine every single Monday.  It's a tough job but somebody's got to do it!

Sean and the ladies are still in Thailand but now they are joined by Seans parents, his sister Shay and her husband and children.  The kids are so cute!  They explain that they're here to help Uncle Seanie pick a girl and little Smith says, 'Emily didn't pick you!'  So funny!

They meet Catherine first.  She explains to Sean's Mother that Sean has taught her a lot about herself and she can actually be herself with him.  She wants great love! Her talk with Sean's Dad was very touching.  You can tell that he is a very sweet man and he asks thoughtful questions.  She tells him she wants a best friend for life and he tells her that she will have a family for life and that he'll treat her like his own daughter.  This was really a moving moment since we know that Catherine doesn't have a relationship with her own Dad right now.

Next is Lindsay, her hair looks darker to me.  The parents ask her the same questions but I don't feel like the answers are as deep or sincere as Catherine's were.  Lindsay plays the church card and tells Sean's Dad that she's been praying.  He tells her that they have been praying for Sean's wife since he was born and this makes all of us cry. I mean Lindsay, it makes Lindsay cry!  Lindsay breaks the mood by asking for Sean's hand in marriage.   Everyone is reunited and Sean's Dad jokingly says, 'okay, let's vote!'  He is a funny guy!

Sean talks to his Mom and explains that he's in love with both women and he doesn't know who to pick.  She encourages him NOT to propose if he doesn't know and that he can take more time.  She cries and Sean tells her that he is under contract by ABC to give a ring to someone will figure it out.  I wonder if he will go to Jared?

Sean ponders the dilemma he is in and wonders where his heart is going to tell him to go.  I think it's telling him to go to Jared.   BREAKING NEWS from Chris Harrison!  He has news from Sean that they have just learned in the last 24 hours!  Oh my gosh, what could it be?

Lindsay and Catherine get one more date each with Sean.  Lindsay gets a river rafting booze cruise and they light lanterns that say Love, Happiness and Family on them.  Catherine rides elephants and cuddles with Sean. They have a very hard time saying goodbye to each other and it's so painful not know what the next day brings.

Sean has made up his mind and is visited by Neil Lane NOT Jared.  He picks an amazing ring!

The ladies are getting ready for the big proposal.  One in Silver, one in Gold.  My husband breaks into song...Silver and Gold, Silver and Gold, everyone wishes for Silver and Gold.  Meanwhile, back in California....Chris Harrison is interviewing the losers and asking them who they think is going to be The One?  He talks to Bitter AshLee and all I hear is Blah, blah, blah.

Lindsay is the first to arrive and says this is the best day of her life.  She reaches Sean and he tells her that she is amazing and wonderful and he wants to give her his heart but it's leading him somewhere else.  But...he loves her.  WHAT?  Don't tell her that!  Lindsay whips her high-heeled shoes off and walks off but not before telling him that it's okay.  She's very gracious.  Sean runs after her and tries again to explain.

Sean goes back to the dock and waits.  Chris brings him a letter!  Who could it be from?  It's from Catherine and now he's scared thinking that she isn't coming but she is....she just wanted to make her feelings know to him one more time.

Catherine arrives and Sean doesn't waste any time telling her that she's the one for him.  They have had may unexpected, wonderful moments and she never ceases to amaze him.  He doesn't want to say goodbye to her anymore! He gets on one knee and pops the question....she says YES!  I'm crying.  Catherine is not.  I believe she is in shock!  He asks her if she's prepared to spend the rest of her life with him.  She says YES!  This feels like a Disney movie!  They ride off into the sunset on the back of an elephant.

The good news, that we learned at After The Final Rose is that these two are still going strong and she is moving to Dallas.  The big breaking news is that they are going to have their wedding on ABC!  YAY!!

I am now pleased to announce that the next Bachelorette is......Desiree!!  I'm so excited and happy for her.  I loved her since day one and if she can't be with Sean that I can't wait to see her as The Bachelorette!

I'm going to Dallas in a few weeks and I'm going to look for Sean!  Stay tuned....

EDITED:  Crap.  I guess I won't be stalking looking for Sean.  He's going on Dancing with the Stars which I PREDICTED on February 26th!!

Bachelor Sean: Women Tell All

I'm not going to really  re-cap the show.  It's hard to do because there is so much back and forth.  It was an interesting show because Tierra was there and AshLee got to get some closure with Sean and I think she officially put the nail in the coffin of any hope that she'd be the next Bachelorette.

Tierra

Tierra says that it's really hard to be her, because she lights up a room with her sparkle and bitches be hatin because they don't accept her for the shining star that she is.  She claims that she never said a bad word about anyone, to the best of her knowledge.  She did all of this with a straight face.  Her eyebrow backed her up and her forehead dent didn't show up. She has NO COMMENT about her fake/pretend fiance that she became engaged to in January.   I think she should win an emmy for best 'reality show acting'.

Desiree

Sitting ten feet away from each other, you could still feel the chemistry between Des and Sean.  I was bummed to see that she's growing out her bangs because I just cut my bangs last week because of her.  I think ABC should make Desiree the next Bachelorette!

Sarah

I realize that Sarah is the first handi-capable contestant on the show and breaking up is hard but I don't really know why she was on the hot seat.

AshLee

AshLee is blonde now and is no longer in love with Sean because turned those feelings off....like a light switch. However, she is super confused about why Sean would tell her that he didn't have feelings for Lindsay and Catherine and that he only had eyes for her.  She thought she had this in the bag!  Sean, claimed that he NEVER said such a thing and that he would NEVER say such a thing because it simply isn't true.  When asked WHY he sent her home, he spoken the truth in the most delicate way he could.  AshLee has too much bagage.  Airlines, have less bagage then AshLee.  And he just couldn't see having a happy home/family while dragging all this sadness and neediness around. This is why AshLee should not be the next Bachelorette....because no man in his right mind wants a piece of that drama.

As for the final two ladies.....ABC gave Catherine the romantic, loving edit.  And they made Lindsay look like a loon.  Now, the big question is....who wrote the letter and does Sean get down on one knee?

What do you think?  Is AshLee telling the truth or is she living another life with the voices in her head? Does Tierra really sparkle and does she really have a fiance?  Will Sarah find love?

Bachelor Sean: BFF

ABC was nice enough to do a bit of a recap of all three ladies and their interactions with Sean.  I think I've figured out that some people don't start watching this show until it's down to the final three.

Lindsay is the first one to spend the day with Sean.  Last week she told him that she was falling in love and she is now prepared to tell him that she really is falling in love. They take a open-air motorcycle taxi thing to a market. Lindsay is in culture shock!  Sean convinces her to eat some deep fried bugs and then labels her adventurous.  I think this is a test to see if she'll eat gross things and is the kiss of death in Sean's relationships.  Look what happened to Des after she drank goats milk!   Sean says that he feels like they are high school sweethearts.  I don't know about you, but i made some shitty choices in high school.  Lindsay is the best friend that Sean has been looking for! YAY for best friends!

Sean takes Lindsay to Monkey Beach and they feed adorable little monkeys.  I was afraid this was going to be another test to get Lindsay to do something crazy. Sean tells us that Lindsay has it all and he takes her to dinner at a float park.  They are surrounded my floats made by temples for a parade.  Lindsay is about to finally tell Sean how she feels when the solid gold dancers come out and do a performance for them. Lindsay tells Sean that she's open to moving to Dallas and having his babies, she's excited for their life together to start...right after he's done appearing on Dancing with the Stars as a Faux-Celebrity. 

Lindsay get the fantasy suite card and races Sean to the room. Finally, she gets to tell him how she feels.

AshLee is in LOVE with Sean.  Her love for him is overwhelming and she's filled with joy.   Sean takes her on a boat ride that again, makes her step out of her comfort zone. He forces her to jump into the water and swim into a very dark cave while she says Oh My God ten times.  She is terrified.  Very, Very terrified.  She is also a back seat swimmer and questions whether or not Sean is going the right way.  They make it through and arrive in a beautiful lagoon.  AshLee tells us that it felt good to completely let go.  I call bullshit and I'm annoyed by her freakishly small calves.

Every single part of AshLee's being wants to be engaged. She tells Sean that she takes being engaged very seriously but she married her high school boyfriend at 17, so what's that all about?  Sean tries to find out why she's still single by telling her why he still is.  He explains that he was chasing his career.  She doesn't answer the question and instead reads the over night date card.  She tells him that she's a classy broad and that she doesn't want him crossing her boundaries.  Then she tells him what kind and size of ring she wants.   Sean also possesses magical powers and has healed her broken heart.

Sean meets up with Catherine on the beach and then leads her to a boat to sail around and drink wine.  I think this date is to make up for trying to freeze her to death in Canada.  Sean wonders if they have the same life goals. Catherine tells Sean that she can really be herself with him, they both agree that they compliment each other. They go snorkeling and then kiss in the rain.   They have dinner and Sean tells us that Catherine gets him more than anyone and he can see himself married to her.

He asks her where she sees them in 5 years and she says, married with a child and happy. He gives her the fantasy suite card and she's nervous about it.  He explains that he just wants to spend time alone with her.  She really, really wants to be with Sean.  I'm thinking Sean must be feeling really moist by now.  BECAUSE they swim in a pool together.

We see Sean getting ready for the rose ceremony and the camera has settled on his unzipped pants.  I cover my eyes!!  Sean has a talk with Chris and says he never pictured sending this person home.  Chris says this is the toughest week to go home.  I disagree.  Being left at the column thingy and told you are not the one is the toughest.  This is the week that the Bachelorette is chosen but GOOD LUCK with this one ABC.

Each woman has left Sean a final video message.  Lindsay and Catherine's are sweet and carefree, reminding him of their dates.  AshLee's message is the one you send right before you cook the bunny.

The rose ceremony is tense.  All of the ladies look amazing and AshLee brought out the big guns, her poor straps are straining to hold up her  boobs.  Lindsay gets the first rose.  Then....stressful music plays for 1 minute and 10 seconds (yes, i timed it) while Sean looks like he's passing another kidney stone.  He looks at the ceiling, he looks at the floor, he stars at the rose....and then says the name:  Catherine.

AshLee is glaring at Sean.  She walks away, toward the waiting SUV.  The girls look at each other and say, 'She didn't say goodbye.' Well, duh!  In the words of Tierra, she's not here to make friends!  She doesn't want to talk to Sean or hear his explanation.  She gets in the vehicle and it drives away while Sean sits on a bench with his head in his hands.

She says very little in her getaway car interview.  She mutters something about being a reject and she turns from the camera and cries.

Next week: The Women Tell All!  

Bachelor Sean Drinking Game: Week Eight

Welcome to week 8, episode 9 of The Bachelor!

Week Eight Drinking Game!

Take a small sip of your drink when someone says:

• Journey
• Amazing
• Wife
• Chemistry
• Forever
• Future
• Engaged
• Crazy
• Ring





source

Take a small sip of your drink when:

• Sean's shirt is missing
• Someone kisses Sean
• Someone kisses Sean in water
• Someone cries
• AshLee cries
• AshLee is scared
• AshLee throws her arms in the air like she just don't care
• Someone tells Sean that they love him
• Someone acts surprised to get the Fantasy Suite Card
• Someone accepts the Fantasy Suite Card

Finish your drink when:

• Chris Harrison announces that this is the final rose tonight

Bachelor Sean: Torn Between Four Lovers

Programming Note: Sean Tells All is on from 8-9pm MST

The hometown dates are usually the make or break part of The Bachelor relationship.  Things can be all honkey dory but then you meet the family and adding that piece of the puzzle is illuminating.  For example, my first meeting with iKeith's family was terrible!  Based on that experience, I should have run far, far away and found someone else to date.  Sean seems to be very keen on the fact that you don't just marry a lovely lady with skinny calves and nice hair, you also marry her family.

Sean travels to Houston to meet AshLee's parents and her little dog Bailey.  AshLee has previously stepped out of her comfort zone (while wearing a blindfold) and professed her love for Sean after only knowing him for 7 weeks.  One week later, she's ready to marry him and prepare her womb for Sean's sperm.  AshLee's parents seem very nice and they love their daughter so much.  They are worried about her abandonment issues.  Heck! I'm worried about what happens if Sean doesn't pick her in the end.  Sean tells AshLee's Dad that he's crazy about her and that he'd like his blessing to propose if he decides that she's the girl for him.  AshLee thinks everything is magical.

Next Sean goes to Seattle to see Catherine and her Mom, Grandma and two sisters. But first they catch some fish at the Pike Place Market. These two definitely have fun together and she's a good match for his adventurous side.  Catherine gives Sean some tips for meeting her family and instructs him to touch her Grandmother's hand to his forehead.   This goes over well and soon he's in the kitchen wearing a frilly apron and helping prepare food.  Catherine tells her sisters that she wants to try this out, in reference to being with Sean.  The Sisters reveal to Sean that they don't really see Catherine having kids and that she bails when the going gets tough.  I thought they were going to tell Sean that she is a lesbian.

Sean tells Catherine's Mom that he thinks the world of her, but he doesn't say he's crazy about her. He asks for her blessing to propose to Catherine and she talks around the question and doesn't give him an answer.  Sean is now doubting the relationship. UT OH!

Lindsay's family lives in Fort Leonardwood and it's a small town.  Her Dad is a two star General and Sean is nervous because he doesn't know if he's supposed to call him Sir, General or Mark.  I was hoping that he's apply what he learned in Seattle and touch his hand to his forehead.   Lindsay and Sean walk around, drink beer and eat cupcakes.  Then she puts him through a boot camp but still doesn't share protocol about what he should call her Dad.

Lindsay's Mom and Dad are very nice, warm and welcoming.  Sean has a great conversation with both of them and when he asks Lindsay's Dad for his blessing he tells him that he has never been asked a tougher question and gives him the authority to make the decision, as long as Lindsay says yes.   At the end of the day, General Dad gives Sean a set of dog tags.  He'd make a great addition to their family!

Desiree meets Sean on a hiking trail in L.A.  She wants to experience a normal Saturday together so they clean her apartment and make dinner for her family. There is a knock at the door and they are expecting Desiree's Mom, Dad and brother Nate.  But it's not them, it's an old boyfriend that has been trying to get ahold of Des and is surprised to see a camera crew in her apartment. He says he loves her and when Sean tries to prevent him from getting too close to Des, the guy puts his hands on Sean!  Sean warns him not to do that and looks like he's going to deck the guy!  Then Des has something to tell Sean.  BaZINGA! It's all a joke and this guy is an actor!

Desiree's family finally arrive and her parents are very nice but her brother is an asshat that tells Sean that he doesn't think he's into his sister and that he's just a playboy taking advantage of a situation.  There is awkward tension when they return to dinner and Sean abruptly leaves without anyone eating their dinner. Des is really disappointed and hopes that Nate didn't ruin things for her.

The Rose Ceremony beings and Sean is obviously upset about what he's about to do.  He's getting ready to give out the first rose when Des asks to speak to him.  She apologizing for her brother and tries to make things better.  He tells her it's okay.

He gives AshLee a rose and then one for Lindsay.  Chris Harrison comes out to tell us that this is the final rose tonight because we're bad at math. Sean stands there...at a crossroads and then he puts down the rose and walks away.  We see him leaning against a wall, in agony and/or trying to pass a kidney stone.  He walks to the deliberation room and stares at Catherine and Desiree's pictures.  He tells us that he can see his wife with both of them.  What does he mean?  He can see his wife being friends with them?  Finally, he's made a choice.

The final rose goes to........Catherine.  I'm shocked!  I thought for sure that Des was going to be the last girl standing.  I thought they had an amazing crazy connection.  My final prediction is that AshLee and Lindsay are the final two.  What do you think?

Next week: a romantic getaway to Thailand!  I think I'm going to make a party out of it and order in my favorite Thai food.

Bachelor Sean Drinking Game: Episode 8

Welcome to week 7, episode 8 of The Bachelor!

Week Seven Drinking Game!

Take a small sip of your drink when someone says:

• Journey
• Amazing
• Wife
• Chemistry
• Forever
• Future
• Engaged
• Crazy





source

Take a small sip of your drink when:

• Sean's shirt is missing
• Someone kisses Sean
• Someone kisses Sean in front of a car
• Someone cries
• Someone's family is less than thrilled to meet Sean
• Someone tells Sean that they love him
• Someone plays a joke on Sean
• Someone leaves in the minivan of shame

Bachelor Sean: Crazy

AshLee gets the first one-on-one on the island of St. Croix. Sean really likes her because she is sweet and has a big heart.  They take a catamaran to a private island where they play in the water and lay on the sand. Later they have an ocean front dinner and AshLee tells Sean her deep dark secret.  She got married when she was 17 because she wasn't getting along with her parents.   Sean doesn't care because he's crazy about her.

Meanwhile, back at the ranch...the girls are talking shit about Tierra and remarking on the fact that she didn't want to sleep with any of them so she's sleeping on a cot in the hallway.  Also, Tierra gets her date card, learns that she's going to be exploring the city and then complains about the heat and bugs.

Tierra's date with Sean goes well....he carries her purse, buys her drinks to keep her cool and buys her an infinity bracelet which means he'll love her forever!  They also bought Des some soap.

They dance with a parade that comes down the street and get snow cones, because Tierra is hot and gross. Sean asks her about how things are going in the house. She says the girls are jealous and that she wouldn't change a thing because she's not going to see these girls much longer.  Tierra feels a distance from Sean and she blames whichever girl threw her under the bus on their date and talked shit about her.

Sean decides that Tierra probably isn't nice to the other girls but he doesn't care because he's crazy about her!

It's 4:42am and Sean is walking through the girl's suite with a flashlight and a camera.  In real life, this would get you shot and/or 911 called on your ass.  Sean is waking up the girls and taking their pictures so that he can see what they look like without make up.  He gives them five minutes to get ready.  Lindsay doesn't have time to shave her pits.

They jeep to the other end of the island so that they can be the first people to see the sun come up in the USA.  Then they drink mimosas and drive to a sugar mill.  They have lunch and cocktails and then drive to a tree house.  This is a new game by ABC to see which girls can survive drunk driving with Sean.

Catherine gets to tell her sob story.  Her Dad lives in China and tried to kill himself in front of her.  She's worried about telling Sean but he doesn't care because he's crazy about her!   Lindsay gets the rose because she doesn't have a sob story.

Lesley got the last date and Sean tells us that he likes her but he doesn't like her like her. Blah Blah Blah...no affection, no eye contact.   The End.

Que....The Tierra Show.

Sean flew his sister in to help him figure things out and she reminds him not to end up with THAT girl. THAT girl that no one else likes.  All of the bachelors end up with THAT girl and that is the families worst fear.  He explains that he's crazy about THAT girl and that he's going to go get her right now to prove that it's all going to be okay.

Meanwhile, Tierra has confronted AshLee about throwing her under the bus.  She says that it's backfired and she's not going to sabotage her relationship with Sean.  She throws a low blow and tells AshLee that when she's 32 she's going to have a family and kids and not be sitting around gossiping with 20 year olds. Then she walks off.

AshLee goes to talk to the other girls and Tierra walks in to say that she didn't say any of the things that AshLee says.  Then they fight some more and AshLee says she's rude, doesn't say good morning, ignores her and that her eyebrow is out of control.  Tierra says she can't control her eyebrow and that they can't take her sparkle away and runs to her cot to pretend cry.

Sean shows up to get Tierra and finds her sobbing.  She explains that this is so hard and AshLee is out to get her.  Sean tells her to wait and he wanders around outside like a lost puppy.  When he goes back in he tells Tierra that he can't take the crazy anymore and it's time for her to leave.

He escorts her to the waiting minivan of shame and Tierra can't believe that he's doing this to her.  She's just really glad that she still has her sparkle and her infinity bracelet.  Her crazy eyebrow and weird forehead dent agree.  Sean's sister is pleased to hear that THAT girl is gone.

The girls arrive for the rose ceremony and they don't know that Tierra is gone.  Sean comes out and announces that he knows who is going home and he'll see them at the rose ceremony. And that is when he send Lesley home.  Catherine takes this really hard and questions if she is the right girl for Sean.

Next week....The Hometown Dates!  Some families...aren't happy to see Sean.

And then there were four!!

AshLee, 32 from Houston.  6 flags date.  Likes to be blindfolded.
Lindsay, 24 teacher from Missouri.  Wore wedding dress. Helicopter one on one date. Likes to suck face.
Catherine, 26 from Seattle. small enough to sit on Seans lap. Fairy tale 1 on 1
Desiree, 26 from LA. 2nd one on one date, hit it off with Sean, prank was played on her. First one to see Sean's house. Can milk a goat. No gag reflex. Got a second 1 on 1.

Tierra, 24 from Denver. Instant connection with Sean, got first first impression rose, not here to make friends. Pushed herself up down the stairs. Likes to punch walls. Could get engaged anytime she wants. fakes hypothermia. 
Lesley M, 25 from D.C. Had connection with Sean at photo shoot. World Record holder for longest on-screen kiss.
Daniella, 24 from San Fran. cries for roses
Sarah, 26 from LA.  Has one arm, first one on one date, fell 35 stories.
Selma, 29 from San Diego. Rock climbing date. Has big guns.  Won't do THAT.
Jackie, 25 from FL. two on one date
Robyn, 24 from Houston. Did gymnastics and fell.
Kristy, 25 Model from WI.  Won the harlequin romance contest.
Amanda, 26 model from CA.  Off her meds.
Leslie H, from LA.  Asked Sean about liking black girls. Pretty Woman Date.
Taryn, 30 from OR.
Kacie, 25 from Ben's Season.  Out of the friend zone.  Convinced Katie to leave the show. Talks poop about others, goes home in a mini van.

Bachelor Sean Drinking Game Week 6

Welcome to week 6, episode 7 of The Bachelor!  Have you recovered from last weeks double feature? I'm glad that the show has moved the show to a tropical location.  It's my belief that you can not fall in love when you are cold.  Cold Feet, Cold Heart.

Week Six Drinking Game!

Take a small sip of your drink when someone says:

• Journey
• Amazing
• Wife
• Chemistry
• Forever
• Future
• Engaged





source

source

Take a small sip of your drink when:

• Tierra is inconsiderate
• Sean's shirt is missing
• Tierra's eyebrow hurts someone's feelings
• Sean feeds Tierra
• Someone kisses Sean
• Someone kisses Sean on the beach
• Someone complains to Sean about Tierra
• Someone cries
• Tierra cries
• A production assistant removes someone's luggage from the house hotel
• Someone leaves in the minivan of shame

source

Bachelor Sean: I Will Do Anything For Love

I did it!  I managed to sip ONE glass of wine during The Bachelor: Two Nights is Too Much.

The ladies and Sean left Whitefish in their review mirror and headed to beautiful Lake Louise Canada.  They are staying at the Fairmont Hotel Lake Louise and it has an amazing blue freezing cold lake in front of it.

Catherine gets the first date card and it says, Let's Find a Fairy Tale Ending.  She is taken to the top of a mountain that is currently under a blizzard warning.  Sean pulls up in a giant snow bus (trying to over compensate for something buddy?) and takes her on a the ride of her life. They are having a great time together, playing with the CB and then sledding and drinking hot chocolate in the freezing cold.  When it's over, Sean looks like Snow Miser.

They get warmed up and he takes her to the fairy tale portion of the evening.  A horse drawn carriage to a castle made out of ice blocks just for them.  They snuggle in front of a fire and based on the look of his face, I think he is truly smitten with this girl!   Catherine gets the rose.

The group date takes 8 girls to the other side of the lake to Bare Our Souls.  To get there they have to canoe and Selma's dark side comes out because she wants the canoe being occupied by Sean and Lesley to be eaten by sharks.  Me thinks Selma isn't here for the right reasons.  Poor Sarah is struggling to paddle with one arm.

They get to their destination and see a first aid tent.  It's becoming clear that ABC is more interested in killing off the ladies one at a time instead of sending them home in pricey limos.  They discover that they are going to Polar Bear Plunge!  All of the girls decided to do it.... reluctantly, except for Selma.  This is wear we discover that she is the smartest one of the entire group!  That and she doesn't want to risk her hair getting wet.

Lesley tells us that she is willing to get hypothermia for Sean and then jumps up and down to keep warm because it is freezing cold and she is about to jump into a glacier fed lake in her bikini.   The girls all run to the edge and jump in while Selma breaks into song.  I would do anything for love, but I won't do that, I won't do that.   Fourteen icy breasts and one dick run out of the frigid water and try to get warm with tin foil blankets.

It becomes obvious almost immediately that Tierra is in distress.  The EMT and lifeguard are trying to warm her but she appears to be passing out.  They wrap her up and take her a car to drive her to the hotel.  Please note that they didn't take her to a hospital.  Due to socialized medicine,  i'm guessing they couldn't get her an appointment.  They give her some coffee and a sandwich and try to bring the feeling back in her feet.

Sean visits Tierra in her room where is sporting freshly applied make up and an oxygen tank.   She bats her eyes at him and he tells her he's glad she didn't die is okay. Meanwhile, the other girls think that Tierra faked hypothermia for attention.   Lesley thinks she writing an ebook titled How to Fake an Injury 101 and calls her a Tierra-ist! They are also glad that she won't be at the after party because they can spend more time watching Sean make out with everyone.

But the joke is on them because Tierra hobbles over to the party and plays the victim of frostbite.  Sean gives her more undivided attention but kisses Sarah like she's his grandma after she shows him pictures of her family.  Lesley gets the rose for helping Sean turn the corner and restoring his faith in The Bachelor process.

He's feeling so good about the way things are going that he decides to put one girl out of her misery immediately instead of letting her vacation in Canada for two more days.  He pulls Sarah out of the room and tells her that it's time for her to go home.  She says she's blindsided but she shouldn't have been surprised.  He has eaten her face off one time!

Desiree gets another one on one date when Daniella hasn't got a single one yet.  The date card says Don't be Scared...to Fall in Love.  This can only mean one thing.  Another death trap.  Poor Des doesn't have the proper gear and is now hiking and repelling down a mountain in snow boots.   The reward is a picnic in a meadow.  YAY!   Sean and Des climb a tree and yell **** Canada!  They might have said hello, I'm not really sure.

They have their evening time in a teepee and this is when Desiree tells her sob story.  She was poor as a kid and they lived in a tent a few times.  But don't feel badly for her...they had love.  Lots and lots of love.  Des remarks that she shared her tent story and now she's falling in love in a teepee.  Des gets the rose.

At the rose ceremony, Selma defies her mother and kisses Sean.  She says she had to bring the big guns but I think she's had the big guns out for 6 episodes.  Lindsay and Sean have a deep conversation where she reveals that she sleeps naked.  Finally, we learn that two girls are going home!

Say goodbye to Danella and Selma.  We'll miss you Selma.

And then there were six and Sean says these are the six for him!  Until next week when he has to send someone home.  Speaking of next week...they are going to St. Croix to thaw out.

Tierra is on instagram....@truly_tierra.

Tierra, 24 from Denver. Instant connection with Sean, got first first impression rose, not here to make friends. Pushed herself up down the stairs. Likes to punch walls. Could get engaged anytime she wants. fakes hypothermia. 
AshLee, 32 from Houston.  6 flags date.  Likes to be blindfolded.
Lindsay, 24 teacher from Missouri.  Wore wedding dress. Helicopter one on one date. Likes to suck face.
Catherine, 26 from Seattle. small enough to sit on Seans lap. Fairy tale 1 on 1
Desiree, 26 from LA. 2nd one on one date, hit it off with Sean, prank was played on her. First one to see Sean's house. Can milk a goat. No gag reflex. Got a second 1 on 1.
Lesley M, 25 from D.C. Had connection with Sean at photo shoot. World Record holder for longest on-screen kiss.

Daniella, 24 from San Fran. cries for roses
Sarah, 26 from LA.  Has one arm, first one on one date, fell 35 stories.
Selma, 29 from San Diego. Rock climbing date. Has big guns.  Won't do THAT.
Jackie, 25 from FL. two on one date
Robyn, 24 from Houston. Did gymnastics and fell.
Kristy, 25 Model from WI.  Won the harlequin romance contest.
Amanda, 26 model from CA.  Off her meds.
Leslie H, from LA.  Asked Sean about liking black girls. Pretty Woman Date.
Taryn, 30 from OR.
Kacie, 25 from Ben's Season.  Out of the friend zone.  Convinced Katie to leave the show. Talks poop about others, goes home in a mini van.

Bachelor Sean: Be Scared

Programming note: Part Two of The Bachelor is on an hour later. 

I don't know if it was the travel to Whitefish Montana or if Sean is getting tired from all of the kissing but this episode was kind of hard to watch.  They all seem to be in a funk and no one was braiding each others hair this week.

So...they moved on to Montana, giving the ladies one hour to pack.  Lindsay finds out that she gets the first one on one date and her card says Let Love Sour Soar. (sorry....typo, i'm leaving it in) They run across the yard to a helicopter and go on a lovely sight seeing tour.  Sean likes her because she isn't high maintenance.  She's also as dull as white bread.  We find out that she was a military brat and she moved around a lot.  Now, she'd like to settle down and have a family.  They want the same things and Lindsay gets the rose.  They move on to downtown Whitefish where the town as come out to hear a live concert by Sarah Darling.  She is darling and I like her scarf.

The group date card said, You Make My Heart Race. Eight of the girls are dressed up like Pizza Hut Lumberjacks (thanks Deb), split up into two teams and forced to race for Seans heart.  The events include canoeing 10 feet, dragging a hay bail, cutting wood, milking a goat and then drinking the warm thick milk.

The red team wastes valuable time trying to figure out which activity Sarah can do.  Several of these things would be difficult for a person with one arm to do but then again...the girl can somehow apply make up and do her hair.  She's got this!

The MVP here is Desiree from the red team!  She not only milked the goat like a pro, but she guzzled the milk.  If that didn't turn Sean on then I don't know what this guy wants!  The losing blue team drives away in the van of shame and the red team gets to have a private party with Sean.

But wait....Chris Harrison shows up at the hotel with a date card for the blue team!  It says come to the party!!  Heck yeah, it's on like donkey kong!  Oh no!  The red team doesn't know....and now they are made and Desiree demonstrated her lack of gag reflex for nothing!

Meanwhile, back at the hotel....Tierra-ble is writing in her burn book and hatches a plan to crash the party without anyone knowing because she is being forced to go on a two on one date with Jackie and she needs a head start.

The red team is angry and having a therapy session with each other while the blue team locks lips with Sean all over the restaurant.  There is lap sitting, there is crying and then....Daniella gets the rose for being the biggest crybaby.  Are you seeing a theme here?

The dreaded Love is a Wild Ride, two on one is as awkward as you'd expect.  They all go horse back riding and Jackie's horse doesn't want to walk with Tierra and her husband.  She looks ridiculous and feels left out.  When she gets some alone time with Sean she decides this is a good time to tell him that Tierra was flirting with someone at the airport on their way to Whitefish.

At dinner, Sean pulls Tierra aside to get to the bottom of this and instead he gets a sob story about an old boyfriend in and out of rehab that passed away.  (can someone fact check this?) This is exactly what Sean needs to hear to keep Tierra and send Jackie home.  Tierra-ble actress gets the rose.

Tierra and Sean sit by a fire while fireworks go off all around them and Tierra acts like it's the first time she's ever seen fireworks before.

The rose ceremony is tense.  Tierra is giving every one the evil eye because they weren't paying attention to her and then stomps off because they are.  Meanwhile, Tierra wishes she was a fighter because she'd like to punch everyone.  Robyn decides to confront her and that's when Tierra has a fireside chat and tells them she doesn't care what they think and she's so over this and if she wanted to get engaged she could because guys are a dime a dozen.

There is a suggestion to give her a Xanax and send her home.  Sean walks in on Tierra going off on Robyn and pulls her aside to talk about it.  She explains that the girls are always attacking her and she doesn't understand why because she's a nice girl.

Sean asks a couple of the girls about Tierra and they are reluctant but explain that she is cold and unfriendly to them.  Sean is very frustrated.  Frustrated should have been a drinking word this week.

Chris announces to the girls that the happy, go lucky, confident guy is not here right now.  They think Sean has left the building!  But no, he's still there he's just frustrated and confused and doesn't know if any of these bitches are going to be his wife.

Say goodbye to Robyn.

Tierra, 24 from Denver. Instant connection with Sean, got first first impression rose, not here to make friends. Pushed herself down the stairs. Likes to punch walls.
AshLee, 32 from Houston.  6 flags date
Lindsay, 24 teacher from Missouri.  Wore wedding dress. Helicopter one on one date
Catherine, 26 from Seattle. small enough to sit on Seans lap.
Daniella, 24 from San Fran. cries for roses
Desiree, 26 from LA. 2nd one on one date, hit it off with Sean, prank was played on her. First one to see Sean's house. Can milk a goat. No gag reflex.
Sarah, 26 from LA.  Has one arm, first one on one date, fell 35 stories.
Lesley M, 25 from D.C. Had connection with Sean at photo shoot. World Record holder for longest on-screen kiss.
Selma, 29 from San Diego. Rock climbing date. 

Jackie, 25 from FL. two on one date
Robyn, 24 from Houston. Did gymnastics and fell.
Kristy, 25 Model from WI.  Won the harlequin romance contest.
Amanda, 26 model from CA.  Off her meds.
Leslie H, from LA.  Asked Sean about liking black girls. Pretty Woman Date.
Taryn, 30 from OR.
Kacie, 25 from Ben's Season.  Out of the friend zone.  Convinced Katie to leave the show. Talks poop about others, goes home in a mini van.

Bachelor Sean Drinking Game Week 5

Are you ready for a Bachelor Sean Marathon?  Do you have a fresh box of wine for the next two nights?  Can you take Wednesday off to go to AA with me?

Let's do this thing!

Week FIVE part ONE Drinking Game!

Take a small sip of your drink when someone says:

• Journey
• Amazing
• Wife
• Chemistry
• Forever
• Future
• Engaged







Source





Take a small sip of your drink when:

• Sean's shirt is missing
• The ladies leave California
• A country star you've never heard of before...sings
• Someone milks a goat
• Someone cuts wood
• Tierra is inconsiderate
• Someone kisses Sean
• Someone kisses Sean in a hot tub
• Chris Harrison explains how a two on one date works
• Someone goes home from a two on one date
• Someone complains to Sean about Tierra
• Someone cries
• Tierra cries
• A production assistant removes someone's luggage from the house hotel
• Someone leaves a date in an ambulance
• Someone leaves in the minivan of shame






source

Sean and the Tierra-ble, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Date

Programming Note: ABC thinks your life is boring and that two hours a week of bachelor drama is not enough.  Next week, The Bachelor will have a two night event with double the romance, double the Tierra-ble drama and double the trips to the ER.  If you're following my drinking game...we're all meeting at AA next Wednesday.

We start the show like we always do...with Sean half naked. He channels his inner Wonder Pet and says this is serious!  The first date card goes to Selma...Let's Turn Up The Heat.  She'd like to go to the next level, the next next level and then have babies.  Sean whisks her away in a limo to a waiting lear jet and she thinks they are going somewhere glamorous.  She also tells us that she weighs 110 pounds and that she doesn't do well with heat.  So what does Sean do?  He's take the Iraqi to the desert and makes her climb rocks.

She rallies and does a great job climbing with minimal complaining.  They make it to the top and Sean says she impressed him.  They clean up and he takes her to an adorable little RV park with theme campers.  They sit together outside and she explains that in her culture you are supposed to date in secret so she decided to go on The Bachelor.  Her mother is mad at her and she can't kiss him.  And then Sean gives her boobs a rose.

The group date card informs the girls that Sean is Looking For a Woman Who Can Roll With The Punches. Then we learn that ABC has arranged for the girls and Sarah to learn to roller derby and then compete with each other.  This has now turned into an episode of Wipe Out.  Amanda pretends that she's done this before to intimidate the other girls.  Sarah can't skate for shit because apparently, you need two arms to balance.  She has a break down and Sean talks her back from the ledge.

Source

Next thing you know, Cocky Amanda does a face plant into the the floor and has to be taken to the hospital.  Sean decides this might be too dangerous so he declares it FREE SKATE time and they all hold hands and skate to Foolish Heart.

Source

Later...they go to a roof top hotel so that Tierra can jump from it, and have a cocktail party. Tierra is sulking because it's her 3rd group date and she doesn't understand why this keeps happening and why she has to live with all of these other girls and doesn't get to see Sean whenever she wants.  Did they not tell her that she signed up to be on The Bachelor?  Amanda comes back from the hospital and they must have lost her clothes because she's wearing a shower curtain instead of a skirt. She decides to play the sympathy card but little does she know that Tierra-ble is about to play her cray cray card.

Tierra wants to leave and stomps all over the roof looking for a good place to jump from Sean.  She crouches on the floor in front of the bathroom, waiting to pounce on him as soon as he emerges with a bikini clad Lindsay.  He talks Tierra-ble off from the ledge (literally) and makes her smile.  He tells her to wait...and runs to get the rose.  He plucks it from the table right in front of the other ladies and now Robyn and half naked Lindsay are shocked and dismayed!  Meanwhile, Tierra-ble sits in the shadows with the biggest shit eating grin you've ever seen. She got the rose.

Leslie H got the last one on one date card titled Could This Be Forever?  This date sucked so I'm going to give it to you in bullet points.

• They re-enacted Pretty Woman.
• This is Leslie's favorite Movie.
• Holy Moly Batman X 3.
• No connection.
• No romance.
• No rose.
• Holy Moly Batman she's annoying.
• Good Bye Leslie.

At the rose ceremony, Sean makes time for everyone and he eats some chocolate. Everyone is talking about Tierra-ble and Tierra-ble is talking about everyone talking about her. She pulls Jackie and Robyn aside to apologize to them for her behavior on the group date and then turns it around on them and says if they would just focus on themselves they won't have to talk about her.  Tierra-ble is here for all the right reasons and her eye is on the prize.  She's going to take control and take the girls down.

In the end....Amanda and her god awful lipstick get to go home.  She feels rejected and miserable.  Sad Panda.


Tierra, 24 from Denver. Instant connection with Sean, got first first impression rose, not here to make friends. Pushed herself down the stairs. Likes to punch walls.
AshLee, 32 from Houston.  6 flags date
Lindsay, 24 teacher from Missouri.  Wore wedding dress.
Catherine, 26 from Seattle.
Daniella, 24 from San Fran.
Desiree, 26 from LA. 2nd one on one date, hit it off with Sean, prank was played on her. First one to see Sean's house.
Jackie, 25 from FL. 
Robyn, 24 from Houston. Did gymnastics and fell.
Sarah, 26 from LA.  Has one arm, first one on one date, fell 35 stories.
Lesley M, 25 from D.C. Had connection with Sean at photo shoot. World Record holder for longest on-screen kiss.
Selma, 29 from San Diego. Rock climbing date. 


Kristy, 25 Model from WI.  Won the harlequin romance contest.
Amanda, 26 model from CA.  Off her meds.
Leslie H, from LA.  Asked Sean about liking black girls. Pretty Woman Date.
Taryn, 30 from OR.
Kacie, 25 from Ben's Season.  Out of the friend zone.  Convinced Katie to leave the show. Talks poop about others, goes home in a mini van.

Bachelor Sean Drinking Game: Week 4

Take a small sip of your drink when someone says:

• Journey
• Amazing
• Wife
• Chemistry
• Forever
• Future

Source

Take a small sip of your drink when:

• Sean's shirt is missing
• Someone gets to ride in a jet
• Sean falls down
• ABC tries to break Sarah's good arm
• Sarah has a melt down
• Someone kisses Sean
• Someone kisses Sean in a hot tub
• Someone cries
• Someone leaves a date in an ambulance
• Someone threatens to leave
• Amanda says something mean

Source

Bachelor Sean: Ping Pong Sean

Welcome to my re-cap of The Bachelor: Sean.  We're down to 16 lovely ladies and a fun week planned! Three dates, three roses and three are going home.

Leslie M gets the first one on one date card titled How Long Will This Love Last?  It was much too long for me and I was glad I had a late start so I could fast forward through part of it. They go to the Guinness Book of World Records place on Hollywood Blvd and we learn that Sean's Dad holds the world record for driving somewhere.  Soon we learn that these two boring love birds are going to break their own record for longest on-screen kiss. Three minutes and 16 seconds and Leslie gets the rose.

The group date card says Who's Going To Win My Heart?   Kristy thinks it's her.  They go to the beach to hang out and play ball.  But then Chris Harrison shows up and turns it into a volley ball competition with the winning team getting alone time with Sean. The losing team goes home in the van of sadness without their shoes and clothes.  ABC also failed to stock the van with tissues and water bottles and left the losers dehydrated and sad.

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The winners went to Seans house where we witnessed that Sean learned nothing from Arie and is trying to eat Lindsay's face off. Desiree is excited that she kicked butt in volley ball and can show all of the girls where the bathroom is since she was just here a few nights before.  Amanda is doing her evil mean girl impression again and tells the girls she'll do anything to get a rose.  She tells Sean she is light and airy....like a balloon?

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Kacie has too many glasses of wine and shows us that she learned nothing from Ben's season.  She pulls Sean aside and instead of letting him eat her face off, she says that the tension between Des and Amanda is making it hard for her to be herself. Which self would that be?  The one that doesn't throw Des under the bus?  Sean asks her why she's busying herself with this and calls her a crazy person.

Kacie cries.  (DRINK)  Lindsay gets the rose for letting Sean eat her face off.

When the next one on one date card arrived.  Tierra read it to the group.  It was for AshLee but to be funny...she also added Selma's name.  No one thought it was funny, except Tierra.  She's such a prankster.....

It's finally time for AshLee's Do You Believe In Magic date with Sean.  She tells the camera that nothing can go wrong.  Then we hear a loud noise... it's Tierra!  She has pushed herself down the stairs and is now laying unconscious on the bottom stair!  Sarah is trying to help her with her one arm and she's not waking up!  Sean arrives right after it happens and then the paramedics arrive.  They put her in a neck brace and attempt to put her on a board when she decides that she's fine and refuses treatment.

She walks out to the pool and of course, Sean follows her.  They chat and she is fine.  She's pranked the entire house and mostly AshLee.

Finally, it's time for the last date and we discover that ABC didn't give poor AshLee any guidelines about what to wear.  The are headed to an amusement park to meet two girls with chronic illnesses that have met online but never in person.  They will spend the day with them, riding rides and showing AshLee's underpants to America.

Then they will dance for the Eli Young Band and AshLee will bum us all out with her sad story.  Sean is impressed with her optimistic and positive attitude and gives her the rose.

At the rose ceremony, Sean takes Sarah outside to a waiting limo.  She thinks he's kicking her to the curb but when he opens the door we learn that her dog is inside for a short visit.  They play ball next to the highway and she is so touched that Sean did this for her.

Sean pulls Tierra aside and asks how she's doing.  She says her back hurts.  Des comes over and steals him away which makes Tierra want to punch some walls.  Then Tierra steals Sean back from Des. It's Ping Pong Sean!!

Kacie tries to do damage control by wearing a too short wet suit.  It doesn't work because Sean pulls her out of the rose ceremony to tell her that it's not him, it's her and puts her in a waiting mini van.

Say goodbye to Taryn and Kristy.  It's time to get misty!

Next week:  Jets, rock climbing and roller derby! Tierra gets cray cray!


Tierra, 24 from Denver. Instant connection with Sean, got first first impression rose, not here to make friends. Pushed herself down the stairs. Likes to punch walls.
AshLee, 32 from Houston.  6 flags date
Lindsay, 24 teacher from Missouri.  Wore wedding dress.
Catherine, 26 from Seattle.
Daniella, 24 from San Fran.
Desiree, 26 from LA. 2nd one on one date, hit it off with Sean, prank was played on her. First one to see Sean's house.
Jackie, 25 from FL. 
Kristy, 25 Model from WI.  Won the harlequin romance contest.
Amanda, 26 model from CA.  Off her meds.
Lacey, 24 from CA.
Lesley M, 25 from D.C. Had connection with Sean at photo shoot. World Record holder for longest on-screen kiss.
Leslie H, from LA.  Asked Sean about liking black girls.
Robyn, 24 from Houston. Did gymnastics and fell.
Sarah, 26 from LA.  Has one arm, first one on one date, fell 35 stories.
Taryn, 30 from OR.
Kacie, 25 from Ben's Season.  Out of the friend zone.  Convinced Katie to leave the show. Talks poop about others, goes home in a mini van.

Bachelor Sean Drinking Game: Week Three

Take a small sip of your drink when someone says:

• Journey
• Amazing
• Wife
• Chemistry
• Forever
• Future

Take a small sip of your drink when:

• Sean's shirt is missing
• A helicopter appears
• Tierra falls down the stairs
• Sean holds a ball
• Someone kisses Sean
• Someone kisses Sean in a hot tub
• Someone cries
• Kacie cries
• Amanda says something mean
• AshLee admits that she's an anorexic
• AshLee blows something

The Bachelor Sean: Falling...in Love

I love that they opened the show with Sean minus his shirt.  In my last blog post, I said that was fine with me and gall darn it...ABC listened.

The first date card arrived and it was for Sarah.  A helicopter arrived to whisk her and Sean away to a tall building in downtown Los Angeles.  Just as I predicted, they are trying to turn The Bachelor into Fear Factor and our happy couple gets to drop to their death 35 stories at a high rate of speed.   They survive, bond over the experience and then drink Champagne.

They talk ad nauseam about the fact that Sarah only has one arm but is just like you and me.  She tells Sean a story about how she was refused the right to zip line in Las Vegas because of her disability. She thanks him for making this happen for her.  Sarah tells him that she's looking for adventure.  Que the song Born to be Wild!   Sean had fun and gives her the rose. They kiss.

Meanwhile, a group date card arrived and prompted them to Capture The Romance.  Next thing you know they are at a castle with their prince charming...and Sean.  They will be competing for Seans heart a three cover deal with Harlequin Romance Novels.

source

Kristy (the model from Wisconsin) is so excited!  She does a perfect impression of Buddy the Elf when he finds out Santa is coming to the mall. Daniella wishes she'd washed her hair extensions. We find out that Robyn doesn't like Tierra and compares her to a hurricane.  Not sure is she means the storm....or a strong drink. When it's Kristy's turn to perform...she seduces Sean and earns the jealousy of every women in the room.  Twenty four eye balls sending her daggers!  Kristy wins the contest and pees herself.

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They all head to a pool party and vie for Seans attention.  Leslie gets alone time with Sean but keeps talking about the weather every time he makes a move on her.  Kacie manages to switch from the friend zone to the girlfriend zone and she is so happy that she laughs maniacally and scares me.  Tierra won't join the group and sits off to the side stuffing her face with biscuits and giving the other girls the evil eye.  She is not here to make friends!  Sean notices her angst and tells her he really likes her and wants her to trust him.

Katie (granola yoga instructor) is feeling uncomfortable and thinks everyone is fake and full of shit.  Kacie talks her into leaving by telling her tales of her past experience on the show. Kacie gets the rose for reducing the food bill that ABC has to pay.  Organic Veggies are expensive!! 

Desiree (a Katie Holmes look-alike) gets the last one on one date.  She's taken to an art exhibit where she meets up with Sean.  They are there to see a very important sculpture by a wacky Russian artist. ABC is trying out a new crossover show called Candid Camera....they are leaving poor Desiree alone in the room with the sculpture and then it falls over...shattering into a half a dozen pieces.  Oh ABC, you pranksters you!  Sean comes clean and takes her to his house for dinner and a little hot tubbing.

They are getting along great!  They are comfortable with each other and discover that they have very similar backgrounds.  There is chemistry and sparks, she's goofy and sarcastic.  They are like boyfriend and girlfriend!  She gets a rose!

At the cocktail party, Sean has a nice chat with Lindsay and realizes that so many of these girls have the qualities he's looking for in a wife.  He has a chat with Robyn who asks him what his type is because he's got three black girls on Team Sean.  He tells her that he doesn't have a type and has dated all kind of people....even a persian girl.  I call Bullshit.  I've seen Shahs of Sunset on Bravo and there is no way a persian girl has dated him.  No freakin way!  Selma tries to teaches him Arabic, after he told her he was fluent in farsi and she spoke to him in farsi and then he had to admit that he only speaks texan.

Amanda.....is sitting on the couch in a daze.  She looks like she's missed a day of her meds and is about to eat Sarah's other arm.   Some of the girls try to include her in the conversation but she's not really there...she's left her body and is hovering over the pool listening in on other peoples conversations. I'll call her Sibyl from now on.

Say goodbye to Brooke and Dianna who I don't remember ever seeing before.

Tierra, 24 from Denver. Instant connection with Sean, got first first impression rose, not here to make friends.
AshLee, 32 from Houston.
Lindsay, 24 teacher from Missouri.  Wore wedding dress.
Catherine, 26 from Seattle.
Daniella, 24 from San Fran.
Desiree, 26 from LA. 2nd one on one date, hit it off with Sean, prank was played on her.
Jackie, 25 from FL.
Kristy, 25 Model from WI.  Won the harlequin romance contest.
Amanda, 26 model from CA.  Off her meds.
Lacey, 24 from CA.
Lesley M, 25 from D.C. Had connection with Sean at photo shoot.
Leslie H, from LA.  Asked Sean about liking black girls.
Robyn, 24 from Houston. Did gymnastics and fell.
Sarah, 26 from LA.  Has one arm, first one on one date, fell 35 stories.
Taryn, 30 from OR.
Kacie, 25 from Ben's Season.  Out of the friend zone.  Convinced Katie to leave the show.

The Bachelor Sean: 50 Shades of Cray Cray

I am so glad that I was drinking water during The Bachelor last night!  My apologies to those of you that are hung over today because of my drinking game.  I had no idea that Sean would spend the first 10 minutes of the show without his shirt.

In case you missed it...

Sean Lowe is a 29 year old Insurance salesman from Dallas. (I'm trying to find out the EXACT location so that I can stalk him when I visit in March.) He wants a house full of love and laughter!  He loves his family and wants some kids. He also likes to run around without his shirt.

As Sean was settling into The Bachelor Pad, Arie paid him a visit. (Arie was #2 to Seans #3 in Emily's season.)  These two have remained friends and Arie is here to help Sean figure out exactly how he is going to pull this off.  They discuss how to give out roses, how to break up with laides and kissing technique. Arie advises.....no tongue.

Soon it's time to meet some of the ladies.  I have to say ABC has outdone themselves this season.  The girls are all beautiful and feisty!   We have a gal that is so excited to learn that Sean is the bachelor that she almost pees her pants, a single mom, a one armed girl, several models, a singer, a yoga instructor, an italian whose Dad will break your legs, a goofy school teacher and a gal that likes bondage.

We also have former bachelorette contestant....Kacie B.  She was on Ben's season and I really thought she was going to win his heart and then her strict parents were a deal breaker.  The girls in the house are NOT happy to see Kacie and don't think she deserves another chance.  Also, can we stop calling her Kacie B.  She's the only Kacie.

I'm going to tell you who the new Courtney is right now.  Her name is Tiarra and she and Sean had an instant connection.  So much so that Sean left her standing in front of the mansion....went to the bathroom, got a drink from the kitchen and then found Chris Harrison and asked him if he could give her a rose already?  Chris doesn't know how to say no, so Tiarra walked into the mansion with a rose.

Then we discovered that Sean thinks he's running this show and was giving roses to all kinds of girls for no reason.  It was like he was Oprah all of a sudden....you get a rose and you get a rose and YOU get a rose.  Hey, I like your nail polish...would you like a rose?  It was ridiculous.  There was also a heated discussion about who actually got the first impression rose because he was giving them out like candy.

It was causing panic and stress among the ladies that hadn't gotten to talk to Sean yet and they were now second guessing their nail color.  And drinking....lots of drinking.  Lindsay who choose a wedding dress for her cocktail attire was trying to have her first dance with Sean and get their first kiss out of the way, while Ashley P was trying to tie Sean up with her silver tie.  Only one of these gals got a rose.

The season looks like it's going to be a good one.  I think Sean makes a connection with many of the girls and they get to show him how athletic and adventurous they are. I can't wait to see where they get to go and who pushed Tiarra down the stairs.

Tierra, 24, leasing consultant from Denver, CO Instant connection with Sean, got first rose
AshLee F., 32, personal organizer from Houston, TX
Lindsay, 24, substitute teacher from Fort Leonard Wood, MO Wore wedding dress

Brooke, 25, community organizer from Pittsburgh, PA
Catherine, 26, graphic designer from Seattle, WA
Daniella, 24, commercial casting associate from San Francisco, CA
Desiree, 26, bridal stylist from Los Angeles, CA
Diana, 31, salon owner from Salt Lake City, UT Has two daughters
Jackie, 25, cosmetics consultant from Boynton Beach, FL
Katie, 27, yoga instructor from Charlotte, NC
Kristy, 25, model from Darien, WI

    Amanda, 26, fitness model from Newport Beach, CA

Lacey, 24, graduate student from Valencia, CA
Lesley M., 25, political consultant from Washington, D.C.
Leslie H., 29, poker dealer from Los Angeles, CA
Robyn, 24, oil field account manager from Houston, TX  Did gymnastics and fell
Sarah, 26, advertising executive from Los Angeles, CA Has one arm
Selma, 29, real estate developer from San Diego, CA
Taryn, 30, heath club manager from Troutdale, OR

Kacie, 25, from Ben's season

Ashley H., 25, fashion model from Denver, CO
Ashley P., 28, hair stylist from Macomb, MI Wanted to tie Sean up, got tipsy and danced all over the place, showed her ass in her exit interview

Kelly, 28, cruise ship entertainer from Nashville, TN  Sang a song to Sean.
Keriann, 29, entrepreneur from Boca Raton, FL

Lauren, 27, journalist from Cranston, RI Told Sean her Dad would break his legs if he broke her heart.

Paige, 25, jumbotron operator from New York City, NY