I'm a Geek Lover not a Greek Lover

Before I show you what Stavros looks like....I need to explain something.  I love nerdy guys.  A trip to the Apple Store turns me on and if you really want to get in my pants...buy me a iTunes Gift Card.  I won't even tell you what I did to Calvin when he bought me Apple TV.

For example...my TV boyfriends are all of the geek/nerd variety.  Like.....

Dwight Schrute

Henry Grubstick

Then there's the guy that invented Apple Computers....Steve Wozniak. 

And my honey bunny iKeith.

So it shouldn't surprise you at all that I'm attracted to brains.....

Garrison Keilor

This is who Stavro's looks like....about 20 years younger but very, very similar. 

My Big Fat Greek Boyfriend: The End

Part 1
Part 2
Part 3

Eventually, I took Stavro's phone calls and we met for coffee and he started coming around again.  I wouldn't say we were back together but we were keeping each other company and somehow I ended up giving him back the key to my apartment.

In early June, my parents came to visit and I was planning to meet them and my sister at Old Chicago's for dinner.  Bobbi had a new boyfriend and we were all going to be meeting him for the first time.  I was on my way to the restaurant when Stavros called me and asked what I was doing.  I invited him to dinner with us and he said no.  I could tell he was upset about something because he was being short with me.  He called back a few minutes later and said that he was coming.  Great.

Stavro's arrived after we had ordered our drinks and acted kind of huffy that we hadn't waited for him.  My family tried to make conversation with him and he was short with them too.  I couldn't for the life of me figure out what his problem was so I asked him.  He told me he was really angry with me for the way I'd treated his parents and that I'd ruined any chance we had at being together.  I kept trying to tell him that we were never going to really be together because of our cultural difference and the fact that his Mom didn't like me but he just kept harping on things that I was doing wrong.   This went on for 30 minutes...I kept telling him this wasn't the time or place to discuss this and he just kept at it.  I was so embarrassed and I asked him to leave.  He refused, so I ignored him.

Finally, he stomped out of the restaurant.  And then he came back...to give me my key.  Thanks!  Then he came back a second time with $1.79 for his soda that he had ordered.  Thanks. 

When I got home....I discovered my journal on the couch.  He had come to my apartment and read the entire thing.  This is why he was so angry....he had read all that I had written about Ike and Tina and what horrible people I thought they were.  I was furious that he had violated my privacy and I never spoke to him again.

~The End~

Three months later....I met the love of my life.  

*Keep us in your thoughts...a job opportunity is brewing..... 

My Big Fat Greek Boyfriend: Part 3

Part 1
Part 2

After a few weeks of Nikki and Angelo trying to teach me Greek...I gave up.  It was too hard and I didn't want to do it anymore.  This made them angry....and the speaking of Greek in front of me became more frequent and now they were arguing with Stavros in Greek.  I knew it was about me....but he insisted that they just talk louder in their language.  I guess he thought I was dumb enough to believe that. During this time, I wrote long entries in my journal about how unhappy I was and I nicknamed his parents Ike and Tina.

I started feeling physically sick when I was at their house and would escape to my apartment more and more complaining of illness.  They started getting upset with me for not spending more time at their house and it was becoming very obvious that Nikki and I didn't like each other.  Every week, Nikki would rearrange and refold the clothes that I had at their house and one time after we disagreed about one of my outfits, she removed the items she had bought for me from the closet. 

Then we viewed My Big Fat Greek Wedding together and I panicked!  It was like I was watching a movie of my life!! 

One weekend in early March, I woke up with cramps and a migraine and got my stuff together to go home.  Nikki wouldn't let me leave.  She informed me that I could be sick at their house just as easily as mine.  We went round a few times and then I couldn't find my purse.....

I went up to Stavros room and I was crying because this bitch was holding me hostage in her house!!  Nikki followed me and decided to have a heart to heart talk with me.  She told me that I had better shape up and start liking her and liking staying at her house because Stavros doesn't do anything without her approval. If she doesn't like me I'm out of there and he will never see me again.  She told me about another woman that Stavros was involved with that didn't get along with her. I told her that woman was pretty damn lucky if she got away.  She made sure that I knew that she had all of the power. 

I told her that was fine with me because I couldn't spend another minute in her company and that if she didn't give me my purse I was going to kick her ass.  She sauntered out of the room like she'd won but I knew that I was the real winner and once she returned my purse to me, I grabbed my Hello Kitty slippers and I got the hell out of there.

Stavros showed up on my doorstep later, begging me to apologize to his parents.  I told him I was never going there again and I would never say I was sorry because I didn't do anything wrong.  He tried to tell me that things are different in his country and they haven't fully adapted to the United States.  I told him that was ridiculous because they'd lived here for 20 years.

It took me a couple weeks to figure it out but I realized that Stavros was only stopping by my apartment for an hour here and there and we weren't going out on dates anymore. I guess I didn't mind because I loved my apartment and being alone!  I asked Stavros if his parents thought we were broken up and he said yes.  They insisted that he break things off because I was never going to be GREEK. He'd been sneaking around to see me.

And that's when I told him that I didn't want to see him anymore and I packed up the few things he had at my apartment and asked him to leave.  We argued...about his parents and about our non-existent future, then he gave me my key and left crying.....

An hour later....he was back but I didn't want to talk anymore.  He stood there for and hour and a half crying and pounding on my door.  Finally, one of my neighbors got tired of it and told him they were going to call the cops if he didn't leave.

A few days later, I got a call from the manager of my apartment complex.  She said a couple had left a box for me.  I asked if they were old and had accents and she said yes.  Nikki and Angelo had returned all of my stuff.  I had to laugh as I went through the box because they gave me back their Christmas presents and stuff I had given Stavros.  Crazy people!

To be continued....THE END!

Oh yes, there's more!

My Big Fat Greek Boyfriend: Part 2

Once I met *the parents* I was expected to spend lots of time at their home.  If I didn't come around for a few days, they would complain to Stavros that I didn't like them.  They insisted that I wear slippers inside the house so I got a pair of Hello Kitty slippers.  Nikki thought they were ridiculous and would roll her eyes whenever she saw me wearing them.  This pleased me to no end.   Soon...I'd have trouble finding them when I came over because Nikki would hide them from me.

Nikki loved taking me up to her large walk in closet and showing me all of her beautiful outdated clothes and fur coats.  She was very proud of the fact that she was still a size 6 after all of these years and would always ask me if I wanted to try anything on.  Because her clothes would totally fit me....since I was several inches taller and wider than her.

This is when I discovered that she hated my clothes.  She made Stavros take us to the mall one weekend and she insisted on buying me an outfit.  It was a black skirt and sparkly top and awfully dressy for just hanging around the house watching music videos of Sarah Brightman.  Soon...outfits for me started appearing in Stavro's closet and she'd wrinkle her nose at my sweatshirts and jeans.

Whenever I did visit their home...we were never alone and they'd feed me huge quantities of food.  And it was all delicious.  But I started to gain weight and then Nikki started getting after me to *make diet*.  She even took me to the basement and showed me her exercise bike and encouraged me to use it.

Nikki and Angelo had a dinner party on New Year's Eve and I was introduced to their Greek friends as Stavro's future wife. The entire night...they spoke Greek and not a word of english.  This was happening more and more and I was sure that they were talking about me.

I complained to Stavros that I didn't appreciate them not speaking english in front of me and he talked to them about it.  That's when they decided to teach me Greek.  They bought me a bunch of children's books that explained the alphabet and things around the house.  That language is hard!!

And thus began my Big Fat Greek Education.  Everytime we'd sit down to dinner they'd quiz me on my new greek words.  Refrigerator, table, stove, chair, clock, getmethefuckoutofhere!

To be continued...PART THREE.

My Big Fat Greek Boyfriend: Part 1

It was September 2002 and I was just coming off my Summer of Love Tour.* I was tired of dating and started looking on Match.com again for someone more serious since the guys I was dating were only looking for a good time.  My username of Crazy Connie wasn't attracting the right kind of guy.  Then...all of a sudden, I got two good bites and both of them were engineers. They lived in opposite ends of Denver and the one north of me decided that I lived too far away.  So I ended up with The Greek.

His name was Stavros** Kournhouliotis and he was tall, thin but not terribly handsome.  We met at Starbucks the first time we met in person and I was so impressed with him.  He was 40, a professor at one of the local colleges and had a doctorate in Electrical Engineering.   I'd never dated a doctor before and he was soooo smart.  Being around him made me feel smarter.

Soon we were seeing each other a couple nights a week, he emailed me all the time and called me every night.  Finally, I'd found a guy that was really into me.  On our third date, he told me that he loved me and that he was afraid of losing me.  I thought it was so sweet but I didn't tell him I loved him...because DOOD...it had been 11 days or something.

He pursued me like no man has ever before.  I was fascinated by his stories about Greece and his life there.  He told me about how his parents had owned a very popular department store in Greece and that when he graduated they sold everything to move to the USA to give him the best education.  He went to CU and his family opened a dry cleaner which his parents had sold recently and were now retired.

I knew he lived in Lonetree*** but he hadn't taken me to his house yet, which I found odd.  That was until about 4 weeks into our relationship when he finally took me to his big, beautiful house. I was impressed by the size of it and couldn't figure out why a 40 year old bachelor needed such a large house.

HOLY COW...I found an identical house on his street for sale.  Even these people's furnishings are similar.  It gave me chills looking at the pictures. 

I walked in the door and I was greeted by Nikki and Angelo****.  His parents.  They immediately made me a Gyro and Baklava for dessert.  And then the question and answer portion of the evening began.  I was interrogated for three hours.   I could tell that they were less than thrilled that I'd been married before and that my parents were just working people (as were they) and that GASP...I had also never been to college.

And that was how I found out that my boyfriend was 40 and lived with his parents.  Of course, he spun it that they lived with him but still....it was a bit of a shock.

To be continued...PART TWO! 

*Summer of Love 2002 ~ I dated THREE different guys and almost had a one night stand.
**Stavros~ in greek means umbilical cord still attached.
***Lonetree~ Southern Suburb of Denver and NOT where he really lived....but close.
****Nikki and Angel~ Not their real names....but close.