Monday, March 31, 2008

The One About Easter!

I know...I'm late telling you about Easter but in my defense...I had a lot of pictures to choose from and very few of them had the children's faces in them, so I was overwhelmed.

On Easter Eve, we cleared the family room of all of the toys and filled the plastic eggs with goldfish crackers and M&M's while watching Gone With The Wind. Have you seen this movie? It is really, really, really long. Anyway, we had fun hiding the eggs and Hubby made me promise not to force Alex to find the eggs.

As If!

Poor Hubby has a bad childhood memory of being forced to search for Easter eggs when he was 4 or 5 years old.He did get a prize out of the deal and he had a choice between a Mr Peanut Peanut Butter Maker and a Bazooka. He choose the Bazooka and left it out on the boat dock where it got wet and was ruined because it was part cardboard. He regrets to this day that he did not choose the Mr Peanut Peanut Butter Maker. I have a bad childhood memory of competing with a bunch of other kids for Easter eggs at a big Easter egg hunt and older kids stealing my eggs. It's funny the stuff you remember from your childhood that haunts you when you are older!

In the morning, Alex found eggs right away! And Mallory found one too.

Notice in this picture....the yellow egg. We thought for sure that Mallory saw the egg. But she was after something else. Didn't see the egg at all! LOL!

Alex was so funny. He would go find an egg and then come to a little spot in front of the fireplace to eat the contents. If the egg contained goldfish...he would dump it out. If it contained pastel colored M&M's he would pick them out one at a time and savor each one. Saying Num...Num. And he wouldn't share with Daddy or Mallory. Occasionally, one would slip from his sticky little fingers and Daddy and Mallory would scurry to the floor, fighting for it. Too bad Mal is so little and slow....

We gave them gift bags with Chocolate Easter Bunnies and some toys in them....Alex is more interested in what is in Mallory's bag.

My favorite picture from Easter has to be this one.

Our family room without toys!!!

Friday, March 28, 2008

The One About The UK Package

I have a wonderful Mommy friend that I met on a message board for women who gave birth to children in April 2006. Her name is Jackie, she is the Mother of Leo and she lives in England. Over the last two years we have been come fast friends! She is so thoughtful....a while back, I wanted this book that was only available in the UK and she sent it to me along with some fabulous chocolate!

Last week...out of the blue, there was a package on our door step from the UK and it was addressed to Alex and Mallory. They had a great time tearing the package open! Mallory just can't believe that she got mail!

As you can see, Mallory was anxious to read the back to find out what exactly this toys does, if it needed assembly, and how many batteries it required.

It is a Space Shuttle! And it came with a satellite, an alien and two astronauts. Hubby is working on project for the space program so this was such a wonderful gift for her to send to the kids. Steve likes it too!

Thanks so much Jackie and Leo! We love you!!!

Thursday, March 27, 2008

Not Intended To Hold A Child

The One About Pizza For Breakfast!

I know I am behind on posting. I just downloaded 100 pictures. I have a couple of things to write about but something happened this morning that has to take priority. Alex's booster seat has a hole in the top of it where a tray is suppose to fit in it, but we have him sit right at the table. He likes to stick things in the hole. he doesn't want to eat and his silverware.

Alex woke early this morning....

He is a lot like his Daddy and likes his sleep so I wondered what had him up so early. He couldn't wait for me to get him dressed and was really loosing patience with me wanting to hang up his clean clothes before I removed him from his crib. As soon as I had him dressed he was down the stairs like a shot, not even going to get Mallory from her room.

Mallory and I came downstairs to find Alex munching on a piece of pizza from last nights dinner!!! He was sitting on the couch watching The Today Show enjoying his crusty piece of pizza. I'm guessing he hid it in there last night and couldn't wait to get to it.

I asked Alex where he got the pizza and he went to the kitchen and showed me his booster seat.

I just can't believe that he wanted MORE pizza because he ate almost half of a cheese pizza, part of an orange and a banana last night for dinner.

Just look at my silly little booger!


Hubby told a co-worker about Alex's antics and he suggested that child protective services should look into alleged neglect of a two year old that needs to hide food to stay alive. So I thought I would add a surveillance photo of the two year old victim stealing grapes from the kitchen.

Isn't it amazing the lengths that this child goes to in order to sustain his life?
And he is probably sneakin food to his poor starving little sister.....

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

The One About Why I Can't Make Friends

Before I begin. You all should know that I have a history of altercations. Mostly with people although there is a lefse griddle and some shopping carts in my feisty history. You should also know that I was let go from my last job for telling my co-worker to Cease And Desist. I'm opinionated, emotional, sensitive and a radical republican.

My husband married me anyway.

I was so excited yesterday when a friend of mine got ahold of me and asked if we wanted to go to the park. The kids and I have not been on a play date since that disastrous day last September when I became a Mom's Club Reject. Some of you may remember, we went to our first meeting with the North Ogden Mom's Club only to be completely ignored. We went home with our tail between our legs and have been licking our wounds all winter, telling ourselves we are good enough and making plans for making new friends that would like us and how much fun we would have with them.

We have known Monica and her family since our first week in Ogden. We all stayed in the same hotel when we arrived and our husbands started their new jobs. They live further north of us and we have both had new baby girls taking up a lot of our time so we haven't gotten together much.

We met at the park and everything was going great! I brought Starbucks! YUM! Her 3 year old and Alex were playing on all of the slides and swings while we held our babies and talked a little. I even used my new ring sling and it worked really well. We walked across the park to a bigger play area and there were already two kids playing there and their Mom's (I use this term loosely) were sitting on the benches talking. These boys were around 4ish and they knew each other. Alex went up three little steps to the opening to a slide that these boys where sitting in front of and they were telling him that he couldn't come up there. He was trying to fight his way up and they were pushing him back. I saw this and I went up (while holding M) and I told those kids that they don't own the slide and he can be there. Then they told Alex, 'you're not our friend, you can't come up here'. On the inside....I lost comes Momma Bear! I told Alex...I'm so sorry that you have to learn about bullies on your SECOND ever trip to the park. But that is life honey and some little boys aren't very nice.

The one little boy looks at me and says, 'Alex's not our friend'. I told him to go wipe that bogger off his face and leave us alone. I then picked Alex up and walked down the stairs. Alex is having a fit because he didn't want to get down. I'm trying to get him to leave with me and these boys came down and started taunting him. 'why don't you go home Alex. go with your Mom Alex.' The Mom's are sitting behind me laughing. I finally get Alex calmed down and tell him we are going to Wendy's because he has been such a good boy. Then I walked right in front of those Mom's and I said 'and I will explain to you all about mean boys and how to handle them.' As we were walking away....Booger Faced Boy yells to us....HAVE FUN ALEX! I wanted to run back and kick him in his little bogger streaked face.

WTH? How can children be bullies at this age? They obviously learned it at home...right? Where else would they aren't our friend? They were such rude little jerks. I just couldn't believe it. Poor Alex. He just wanted to go down the damn slide.

I relayed this story to Hubby on the way home and he says.

So they didn't hurt him?

No. Not physically. Maybe Mommy is more hurt by what happened then Alex is. I guess I had my share of being bullied as a child and I'm sensitive to it.

So...Mommies. How do you handle the bullies? Did I handle it correctly? In hind sight, I'm wishing I would have said something directly to the Mom's. I swear I turn into a Momma Bear! My claws are still out!

I wonder if they were intimidated by Alex's perfectly matching Gymboree Sweater/Pants/Shoes Combo?

The good news is that Monica still wants to get our kids together! The bad news is that I don't see me making many more friends around here because I just had an altercation with a 4 year old.

Apparently....I don't play well with others!

Saturday, March 22, 2008

Friday, March 21, 2008

The One About The Frumpy Mommy Part IV

I had to take a little break from Fighting The Frump.

Remember when I went to buy new jeans to replace the ones that made me look bad? Well, it wasn't really the pants fault, it was the body underneath. The problem is that I am a Hot Mess! But I am working on that. I am training for a 5K race, although I had to take a week off from that too because of Hubby traveling, Mallory's birthday and debilitating migraines.

I went to the doctor this week to talk to her about my disease. Hand to Mouth Disease. I have been exercising very consistently since January 1st....isnt' that when everyone starts exercising? Anyway, the not moving. I thought it was the scale. That perhaps it was broken. But it isn't. So....they are running a battery of tests. Oh, and she gave me this great exercise tip. She told me to do sit ups. Seriously? Sit ups are the answer to my weight loss problem? Oh my Gosh! Thanks so much!!!

I also wanted some help with my horrible, life stopping migraines that have returned with a vengeance after a two and a half year break while having kids. I guess pregnancy hormones agree with me! LOL!! She gave me a preventative drug called Topamax that will hopefully stop me from getting the horrible migraines. The bonus is that they can cause weight loss. YES!

I just completed day two of these miracle weight loss pills and I can tell you this. I could care less if I ever ate again. I have no interest in eating and it took all my power to make my family a meal last night. And the Mountain Dew that I am addicted too. Tastes like crapola and I don't ever want to see one of those freakish green cans again. Alcohol. Don't want that either. I love wine....but I don't want any. No more Hand to Mouth Disease!!! And I have not had a migraine in two days!

now....the side effects. Dizziness, drowsiness, confusion, nervousness.

And you can go bat-shit-crazy.

If you ask my husband. I have already gone there. So....friends and family. If you see me going bat-shit-crazy....please tell my husband. He has been instructed to take my credit cards away and get me a guest spot on How I Met Your Mother!

Sunday, March 16, 2008

The One About Mallory's Birthday!

Happy First Birthday my sweet baby girl!!!

I can't believe that she is ONE. All week I have been dreading this day because she wouldn't be a baby anymore. I know she has to grow up but I don't know why she has to grow up so fast! Even though I spend every waking hour with her....I feel like I'm missing stuff. I don't want to miss a moment of these kid's lives! I didn't know it was possible to love anyone as much as I love them. My heart is in a constant state of flood. Flooded with love and emotions and pain. Why does being a Mother hurt so much? And make water fall out of my face? And then....there is this growing love for the man that made it all possible. Is it really possible to fall more in love with someone that farts when you are trying to have a conversation with them? The answer is that yes, it possible. And I love him more every day...farts and all!

Mallory's birthday turned into Birthday Weekend because we found out Friday afternoon that Hubby would have to leave for Alabama on Sunday. Birthday lunch was moved to Saturday and as planned we went to Red Robin. We had a great lunch and our server Ryan was wonderful! It is really hard to eat out with small kids when you have servers that don't seem to care that kids have very short attention spans and many needs. Ryan was very attentive and because of that we had a great meal! If you live in Layton and have kids. Visit Red Robin and ask for Ryan. He will treat you well!

Mallory enjoyed the Strawberry Shake so much. I think she figured out that we have been holding out on her....she didn't want to let go of the straw!!

When we were leaving....a big jet flew over and I learned the difference between a F-16, an M-16 and a Rifle and A Gun. In case you didn't know....One is for fighting and One is for fun! If you don't know which my hubby and he will tell you!

I spent the afternoon making a special St. Patrick's Day meal and Meghan's cake. Hubby and I decided to make the frosting after the kids went to bed. I had selected a buttercream frosting but something went a little awry and we made sugary butter topping. We added milk and powdered sugar until it was a spreadable consistency and we each decorated a little cake. We discovered that we need some more practice making frosting and some cake decorating lessons. But we had a great time doing this together! What do you think?

Today: Mallory's Birthday!

We had birthday pancakes and sausage this morning...I'm hoping to make this a family tradition. Then I put her in her fabulous Gymboree Birthday Outfit. She hated it. She wore the dress for about three minutes before we had to remove it. She had her frist major temper tandrum because she couldn't crawl. I guess Mallory's got a temper for her birthday!

Click on the pictures to see them bigger!

And then we opened her presents. Actually, Alex opened her presents! She got some beautiful clothes from both sets of Grandparents, Jumpers and a Cherry Dress that she can wear to Cherry Day's from Aunt Bobbi and a cute hat from Uncle Andrew! We gave her a baby doll and a stroller which Alex has been enjoying while she plays with the ball that we gave Alex to open.

Hubby quickly put together the stroller. quickly as you can with two toddlers for assistants. The stroller is a piece of junk and the pieces didn't fit together right and the fabric for the seat doesn't fit on right either. I hate junky toys!!

Mallory enjoyed her special cake filled with love! And lots and lots of butter! She was a little slippery mess when she was done! Alex would not eat the cake and we decided that we will make him a special fruit salad for his birthday since that is all he wants to eat now days! Fruit Salad...Yummy Yummy!

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

The One About The Birthday Cake

Back in Lakewood, our dearly missed hometown. We used to buy our birthday cakes from a fabulous little neighborhood shop called Cakes by Karen. Oh the cakes! On any given day, you can walk into Cakes by Karen and sample cake. Fabulous cakes! They make cakes for all occasions but their wedding cakes are beautiful. I have been missing Cakes by Karen.

I decided that a Wal-Mart cake was not good enough for the Princess. Don't tell Alex but it was good enough for him. Shhhh. Don't tell him. Seriously, he understands more than you think he does. I decided that I would drive to the only bakery that I have ever seen in this stupid town and order a professionally baked birthday cake for my daughter!

By the way. It is worth noting here that there is also ONE donut shop in this stupid town and it is not always open. Just ask Robert about The Hole! the hole is closed....moose out front should have told you...WAAAAAA!

So....I walk into the EMPTY (as in NO customers) Bakery and I ask to order a birthday cake. The gal behind the counter looks at me like I am coo-coo for coco puffs and says....

Bakery Bitch:We don't make cakes....we make BREAD.

Disgusted Mommy: You don't? Oh, then can you recommend a place that does?

Bakery Bitch: hmmmm....No. Have you check the yellow pages?

Disgusted Mommy: No....haven't cracked one of those open in about 5 years. Not since the invention of the In Ter Net.

Bakery Bitch: Sorry.

Disgusted Mommy: Okay, well thanks for nothing....I mean anyway!

I got into my car and I thought to myself. You are not a BAKERY! You are a freakin BREAD STORE!! Freakin Ogden!! I said this while flaying around the car like a bee was in there with me.

And then a bright light shown down on the middle of the dark and gloomy sky.

A message. Directly from God!

Make your own damn cake. Call it Cakes by Connie and stop your bitching!!

And so it came to pass, that I would drive to Target and JoAnn's and purchase the materials to make my daughter a fabulous, professionally baked birthday cake!!!! And it will be better than just wait and see, oh disbelieving husband. You just wait. I'm gonna knock your socks off!

Sunday, March 9, 2008

The One About Our Crazy Week!

Welcome to the Nut House!!

Most weeks....seem to go pretty quickly, but this one was long! Very, very long!!

This little angel....

Is starting to take steps! Amazingly, she does the best when she is holding something in her hands, like a sippy cup! She will take about two steps at a time and then stop and get this huge grin on her face! Then she takes a day off from practicing walking because it is a lot of work.

Mallory also has a new supervisor. Alex keeps a very close eye on her and informs me when he thinks she is misbehaving by yelling....NO NO NO BABA! And if she tries to escape up the stairs...he comes to me and tells on her. BABA...NO NO NO! It is the funniest thing!

Mallory also started sleeping through the entire night this week! 12 hours!!! This has resulted in a new development which you will read more about in a little bit.


There has been a lot of crying around here this week. Alex is getting his two year molars and we are pretty sure that Mallory is getting some more teeth too. This is what I see all day long!

We started weaning Alex from his pacifier last week and it is going pretty well. He only gets it for naps and bedtime and is now very excited to take a nap because it means he can be reunited with his best friend PAS!! When he gets up, PAS goes into the top drawer of his diaper changing station. The other day, Alex went upstairs and retrieved it. And also took all of the socks out of this drawer and put them in his crib. Silly Kid. So, he comes down stairs with PAS in his mouth and I said WHAT is THAT? And he touched his mouth and gave me this, what? how did that get there? Gosh Mommy, I don't know.
He is so funny!

Alex has decided to skip learning new words and just learn some sentences. For example, when he retrieved his PAS from the drawer....I took him upstairs and put him down for his nap and he pointed to his PAS and told me....I got it!

If you ask him where something is....and he either doesn't know or doesn't want you to know. He says....I don't know.

When you tell him something and he already knows it. He says....I KNOW! And this one he says with total teenage attitude!

And lastly, we started learning to pick up our toys before nap and bedtime. I found two songs on iTunes about cleaning up toys so I play those and we Clean Up! He has put a few toys away which I find just amazing!!


Breaking News!! Mommy is playing World of Warcraft again. I had told Daddy that when Mallory started sleeping through the night...I would play again. My new character is a Blood Elf and her name is Connana! Alex calls me Mamama! So I thought that was appropriate. So Wednesday nights and Sunday Afternoons....we will be found in Azaroth!!

More Breaking News! Mommy is training to RUN a 5k race in May! Being a Stay-at-home-Mommy/Domestic Engineer....I don't have many things that challenge me. I decided that running a race would be a great challenge and I would get in shape at the same time. I want Keith and the kids to be proud of me and what is cooler than saying My Mommy runs races!! You may not know this but I had just started running when I met Keith....then he caught me and I quit.

Breaking Summer News! New month, we will be signing the kids up for swimming lessons. I am so excited and just found these great pictures of the pool here in Ogden that is just a few miles from our house. We are going to have so much fun!!!

BREAKING VACATION NEWS!!! There has been lots of discussion in the household about when to take the children to Disney World. I consulted lots of my Mommy Friends and after doing some research we have decided to wait on Disney World until the kids are around 10 years old and instead we will be taking them to DISNEY LAND spring of 2011!

We are telling you that if you want to join us, you have plenty of time to plan. We will be staying at Disney's Grand Californian Hotel and Spa! We would love to turn it into a Family Reunion!

That's all I've got for now! Have a great day!!!!

Friday, March 7, 2008

The One About The Frumpy Mommy Part III

Here I thought that I was doing really well Fighting The Frumpy.

I improved my hair and have been wearing real clothes and makeup. But I didn't realized until last weekend that I am a total Schlumpadinka! I was photographed by my husband with his iPhone while we did some shopping in Salt Lack City and this is what I am presenting to the world.

It looks like it is time to trim my beard!!!

Seriously. The jeans that I am wearing in this photo...I purchased when I was 6 months pregnant with my soon to be 2 year old son. I hated maternity jeans so I got these. They are too big now but they are comfortable so I wear them. I did not realize how incredibly FRUMPY they make me look!

So....In true What-Not-To-Wear style! I am going to throw them in the dumpster!!!! And buy a new pair of jeans tomorrow!!! A pair that fits me!!!

I have also decided to stop wearing my running shoes out of the house unless I am going running. Running shoes are for running and are only adding to my fumpadinkaness!

Any suggestions for fabulous jeans that cost under $30 dollars are greatly appreciated!

Sunday, March 2, 2008

The One About The Toy Baby....

We got up bright and early yesterday morning for our quarterly trip to Salt Lake City! We love going to the big city because they have stuff. And we are mostly stuffless, suffering in our lack of stuff and absence of good food that we have not prepared ourselves.

We had a very full morning planned right down to the last minute. That is what you have to do when you must travel an hour each way to get to a place that has stores that you want to visit. We usually only go to The Gateway Mall because they have lots of good shopping and a Starbucks. But we were on a mission.

Birthday presents and out of the ordinary cooking ingredients.

We had THREE stops on the list. THREE! I was a bit nervous because THREE stops means THREE times of getting kids, diaper bag and stroller in and out of the car. This is no easy feat!

We arrived at our first stop right on time! We pulled up to Toys R Us at 9:15am because their website told me that they open at 9 am. Guess what.


They open at 10am. I grabbed Hubby's iPhone to double check that I had read it correctly. I Was Right...I am always right. Now I am mad.

We cruised around the parking lot and found the Party America store open so we went in there and spend an hour getting birthday party supplies and Easter stuff. We had a great time!

We finally got to Toys R Suck and we raced around like crazy people looking at toys and trying to find the bathroom. We found these LIttle Mommy baby dolls that coo and you can buy it a matching stroller! It was awesome and Mallory lit up like a Christmas Tree when she saw it. I found one in a purple outfit with blue eyes....perfect!!

Alex took it out of the cart and started loving it. Kissing it and whispering to it. It was so sweet!! We might have to get him one too.....

We got Alex The Mickey Mouse Talking Clubhouse and some plastic Golf Clubs. And a Ball. The kid loves balls!!

We are also getting them a joint gift.

Our Next Stop was Wild Oats Market! I was so excited because there are so many ingredients that I can't find in SuckTown that I KNOW I could find in Denver. This is supposed to be the largest Wild Oats in Salt Lack City. sigh I hate to see what the other one's are like. This store is the size of a WALGREENS! I only found three things on my list. But the Deli guy was funny....he brought the kids some fresh cut cantaloupe and gave us a great Star Wars impression!! He also advised us to lock Mallory in her room when she is 14 years old to keep the boys away! Alex loved the produce department and was running all over asking 'wassdis'!

By this time...the kids where gnawing their arms off. We went to a Hawaiian BBBQ that was right next to Wild Suck. It was really good and so much food that we brought it home and ate it for dinner too. NOTE to Family: There is one of these in Aurora and Lewisville Texas is getting one soon. I know you will be shocked to hear this....Ogden doesn't have one.

It is now 12:38pm and the kids passed out in their car seats as soon as we buckled them in. So Daddy did not get to go to his favorite store. The Apple Store.

Poor Daddy.....