Thursday, July 31, 2014

If You Give Keith a Burrito

I wrote this in my head at 4:30am this morning.  

If You Give Keith a Burrito

If you give Keith a Burrito, 
He'll eat it all even if he's full.
He'll also order Queso, 
His wife will offer him a tums, 
But he'll refuse.
He'll go after that tums at 4:30am, 
His stomach will be hurtin.
He'll be restless and turn the light on.
His wife will wake up because she's a light sleeper.
He'll feel bad and rub her shoulders, 
He hopes she can go back to sleep.
She thinks he wants to make whoopie.
He'll drift off to sleep,
But she'll be wide awake.
She'll get up and make a cup of coffee, 
spending the wee hours on facebook

Sunday, July 6, 2014

My Last Text to my Brother

On July 7th last year, we were winding down the holiday weekend and Keith grilled ribs.  We were sitting on the patio, enjoying the beautiful weather and a bottle of wine.  I was admiring my basil plants and swatting bugs away from my wine.

I came up with a genius solution to my bug problem without having to go into the house for a stopper.

I knew that my brother would appreciate my ingenuity so I texted him a picture.

I titled it Ghetto Wine Cork.

I didn't get a response.  

I didn't think much of it because he had recently moved to a beautiful new townhome and I was sure he was very busy setting up his place.

What I didn't know is that he was dead. 

It's been a year today and my brain still can't accept it.  I don't think I ever will.

I miss you Rob.

Thursday, July 3, 2014

Things To Do...Fourth of July Weekend

Our home has been abuzz with talk about what we're doing this weekend.  I'd be happy to sit with my two giant books that I checked out from the library (One Summer America, 1927 and The Signature of All Things) in front of the air conditioner.

It's going to be blazing hot in Colorado this weekend!

Instead....we are going to keep busy with the following activities:

  • Visit the Apple Store to find out why my phone doesn't work like a phone and keeps shutting down for no reason whatsoever.

  • See Earth to Echo.

  • Go to HIKEA (IKEA to you son puts a H on the front) to purchase more shelving for the kids bedroom.

  • Sunday....we will be spending the day at home together and remembering Robert.  It is a year since he died and we feel lost about how we are supposed to handle that day.  I still can't believe he's gone.  I don't think my brain will ever accept it.

What are you doing this weekend?

Monday, June 30, 2014

About Time

iKeith and I watched a movie over the weekend.  I loved About Time so much and I insist that you rent it immediately so you can love it too.  I should probably mention that I might have loved it a little bit because I have a thing for anything English and red heads. This is my new Romy and Michelle....I'm going to be watching this over and over and over.

About Time is about a bloke (he's English) named Tim who finds out from his father that the men in their family can travel backwards in time if they go to a dark room and make their hands into little fists and scrunch up their faces.

It is a very entertaining and funny film but I must warn you that you will cry at the end so only watch it with people that you are comfortable crying with.  You will not be able to stop thinking about the film and will think about times you wish you could go back to and change everything to make things better.

I would go back to July 4th 2013.  I would go to Robert's house and check on him and probably park myself on his couch until July 7th so that he wouldn't die and he'd still be here.  Just in case....I've locked myself in the closet three times and nothing happened.

Is there a time you'd go back to?  Let me know if you see the film.

Friday, June 27, 2014


Well heck.  A whole week has gone by without a word from me.  I guess it has been a busy week and full of fun things and seeing friends.  I guess it's a good thing when your life is so full and exciting that you don't have time to blog about it.

I thought I'd do a bullet point post to catch up.

*I hate going to Target without my sister.

*Someone just 'binged'...sometimes people vague book for attention and got my front page.

*My Life (website) keeps emailing to tell me that a 44 year old man named Scott from Wisconsin is looking for me.  In my active imagination he is my long lost boyfriend and is wildly rich and going to come sweep me off my feet.

*I am not watching The Bachelorette.  I can not stand Andi and her pouty face.  Plus....she killed a guy by not giving him a rose. Just kidding....she didn't actually kill him.

*An overweight weiner dog named Obie has lost 55 pounds and I can't keep off 5.  What the heck!

*I went to a farm this week and I can't wait to tell you about it.

*BIG NEWS!  I'm going to live to be 95 years old according to a new study.

*I love when Starbucks writes my name on my cup.  Why don't they all do that?

Correction!  Obie is a  Dachshund.  He lost weight on a diet that consisted of low fat, high protein and fiber. And lots of walks.

Thursday, June 19, 2014

How to Celebrate the Last Day of School

I'm one of those rare Moms that can't wait for the last day of school.  I miss my kids when they are gone and love being home with them.

I also love surprising them.

I got up early and decorated my car.  It took me a week to realized that I missed the word *day*.  I'll do better next year.  Mallory thought that someone had vandalized our car.

I put one last note in their lunch and gave iKeith one too.  

After school....I led the kids and some of their friends to my car in the parking lot where the tailgate was open and decorated with streamers!  In the back....cupcakes, root beer floats, bubbles and leis!

The pool noodles were given to the kids by the 1st grade teachers which went GREAT with my theme!
As with most of my's all fun and games until the cops show up.  Just kidding.  He was invited.

If you are taking notes.....I bought styrofoam cups at the dollar store and pre-loaded them with ice cream the day before and then froze the cups.  I transported them to school in a cooler and filled them with root beer in the parking lot!  Easy Peasy!

See you next year!

Field Day

Two posts today!  I'm catching up from the end of the school year and have a burning desire to show you what I did to make Field Day and the Last Day of School....special.

First off...Field Day!

The past two years, I organized and ran the Kindergarten Field Day.  I was very happy to pass that responsibility off to someone else and she was very successful with the help of my very detailed binder that I made for her.

This year, as PTA President my only responsibility was to purchase and sort 750 popsicles.  I pre-ordered the popsicles from my local King Soopers two weeks before and a few days prior, called to see if they were in yet.  Nope.  The day of....still not in.  Come to think of it, they have never called me to say that my popsicles are ready and field day was 8 weeks ago.  This left me running to three different stores and buying ALL THE POPSICLES.  I then sorted them by class into zip lock bags with the magic number of students written in sharpie and deposited them into the silver freezer bags. These bags went into the school cafeteria freezer where they forgot it was field day and required me to stuff bags of popsicles anywhere I could find room.  I've never seen so many chicken nuggets in my whole life!

For those of you taking notes....Whole Foods sells GIANT silver freezer bags.  I purchased one bag for each grade and labeled them with each grade.  A teacher from each grade just had to come to the cafeteria, grab their grade bag and go!  The bags can be reused each year....or until they fall apart. I was able to get 90 popsicles in each large bag.

My kids are both in the same grade and were instructed to wear yellow shirts.  We don't own a single yellow shirt so I knew a trip to Hobby Lobby was in order.  That is when inspiration struck and I decided to get iron on letters and numbers that make it easier to see MY kids in a sea of yellow.

It worked out GREAT!  They are in different classes so I could stand in the middle and see both of them.  This is now my daughter's favorite shirt.  She wears it everywhere!

Here is Alex winning 2nd place in the 50 yard dash!

Mallory did great in the half mile and our music teacher made me promise that I'd run it with the kids next year.  So now...I'm training for a half mile race.  Just kidding.  I'm going all crazy and training for the Dennison Eagle Bolt 5K and the D'Evelyn Dash 5K.  Who wants to chase me?

When your Mom is the PTA President, sometimes you have deal with things that are uncomfortable.  You have to arrive at an event an hour before everyone else, you have to come to school on a day off and distribute stuff and you have to stay late to clean up.  On field have to sit with empty popsicle boxes because your mom didn't have time to throw them away.