Thursday, February 26, 2015

Snow Day

I will never ever get tired of that lovely phone call at 5:35am.

That phone call from the Superintendent of Jeffco School District telling me that school has been cancelled because the snow that fell overnight makes getting to school dangerous.

God Bless you Dan McMinimee!

I get another day with my kids that are growing so fast I can't keep up!


Monday, February 23, 2015

Bring On The Wild Monkeys


A dramatic new episode of the bachelor starts now.

Bali....majestic landscapes, friendly people and lots of culture.  Chris can see himself spending the next year the rest of his life with all three of these women and he could see a honeymoon in Bali.  He's looking forward to seeing if he can get intimate with these women.

Kaitlyn is first and Chris can see her in his life.  This is a huge day for Chris because they need to have serious conversations today.  Kaitlyn is ready to tell Chris about all of the feels she is having while they go into a temple where they aren't allowed to kiss. They walk around the city hugging people and playing with rabid monkeys. One of them peed on Chris when he was feeding them bananas. Kaitlyn thinks her hometown date went better than she thought and her family liked him more than she thought they would. They are talking about the guard that Kaitlyn has up.  She's scared of losing him and he gets it. He's asking her to not hold back, everything she is saying he is hearing. Chris pulls the fantasy suite card out of his ass nowhere. She says she can't say no. Kaitlyn thinks she needs to put her feelings into words and tell him how she really feels. She tells him that she is completely falling in love with him. Chris says he is falling in love with her too.

Whitney meets Chris on a boat and they toast to an amazing day.  Whitney has never felt so sure about anything in her whole life. She is worried that her sister refusing to give him approval is going to affect how Chris feels about her.  She is explaining that her sister had to take care of her from an early age. Chris reassures her that he's not concerned.  Whitney thinks that the two of them feel so right together.  His feelings for her are very strong. Whitney is confident that she is going to marry Chris. Dinner with Chris brings critical questions about Whitney's career and what she will do about moving to Arlington. Chris is talking about how far away Arlington is from anywhere that you can do anything. Whitney says that she has worked so hard to get where she is and she wants to be a wife and a mom.  If she moves to Arlington she is going to be a wife and a mom and leave her career behind. Here comes the fantasy suite card. She's thought a lot about this and she thinks it will be great.  Chris wants to take things to the next level. She is ready to be engaged to this man and start their life.


Becca is meeting Chris in the middle of a rice patty and she is wearing some unfortunate black running shorts. They are at a temple and there is a man there that they are supposed to ask questions about their future.  They tell them they will be a good couple and Chris will be a good dad, Becca is hard to control and their advice for the evening is that they should 'make love'. At dinner, Becca needs to tell Chris her secret. Chris and Becca agree that today was perfect and Chris thinks he could be a part of her family. Chris wants to make sure that she can see herself in Arlington. They both share their feelings and their relationship is moving forward but now they need to get to know each other on a whole other level. Here's the fantasy suite card.  She has to tell him now. Here it is....she's a virgin. Chris should have been better prepared for this with the other virgin but he pauses too long. He respects her waiting and he isn't surprised.  I guess they will play board games tonight. More than waiting for marriage, she's been waiting to fall in love.

The next morning....Chris says they had a serious conversation when they woke up and now he's confused.  He's struggling with who he is going to send home. Whitney and Kaitlyn have confessed their love and said they will move to Arlington. Chris meets with Mr. Harrison to talk about what he needs to do.

It's rose ceremony time and they are in a temple so there are very strict rules for giving out the roses and attire apparently. Chris pulls Becca aside to talk to her.  Why are they whispering?  Is that a temple thing?  Becca says she hasn't been sleeping after their last conversation and she needs to tell him that she's crazy about him. For him, it's about finding true love and the person he's supposed to be with. This is the toughest decision he's ever made.  Chris brings Becca back to the rose ceremony and Kaitlyn is freakin out!

Whitney will you accept this rose?

Becca will you accept this rose?

Goodbye Kaitlyn.

Next week: The Women Tell All.


Whitney (29
) Fertility Nurse, sounds like she is on helium. Crashed a wedding with Chris. Classy and Mature. Fun date in Des Moines. Has a successful career in Chicago.

Kaitlyn (29) Dance Instructor, told Chris he can plow the f**k out of her field any day. Date to CostCo.  She's into farmers. Has a connection with Chris. Writes rap lyrics in her spare time.  Winters in Phoenix.

Becca (25) Chiropractor Assistant. Also a virgin. Lives in Louisiana.

Sunday, February 22, 2015

Upstairs Circus

A year ago,  I started getting together with other Moms from school.  Moms that I already knew and Moms that I wanted to know better.  We had a few fun outings together and then things kind of fell apart.  My best friend was diagnosed with cancer and someone I thought was my friend, left me hanging.  I started getting moms together again for breakfast on the first day of school and it was the best thing for me.  I love connecting with my fellow Moms and sharing stories and getting to know each other better.

Several of these Moms have become my closest friends.  It's a total bonus that some of their kids are my kids besties!   I invited a handful of friends to join me in Downtown Denver for some crafting fun with mimosas.  Three lovely ladies took me up on it and we had the best time!


Welcome to Upstairs Circus!

On the weekends, you can make a craft and have bottomless mimosas for the low price of $35.  They have so many great choices of crafts, even for people that claim they aren't crafty.  The really interesting thing is that you get better at your craft and closer to your friends with each refill of your glass.  


I went with the Hex Nut Bracelet so that I could learn a new skill and open an Etsy store so my husband will get off my back about getting a job to support my family.  I LOVE my new bracelet and can't wait to go back and learn another skill. 


The very best thing about Upstairs Circus is that they are practically across the street from the new Union Station and you can take the light rail from all over the city and have a great time with your friends.  There are a number of restaurants at the Union Station and in the neighborhood to have lunch when you are done.  Be advised that people will be fawning all over you about how awesome you and your project are wherever you go.





Monday, February 16, 2015

Out of Her Shell



Chris is reflecting on how Britt reacted to not getting the rose the night before. Chris is meeting up with Becca and hanging out at his fancy loft so they can talk.  She says that she has never been in love before. They go to the roof and watch the fun set.

Back at the hotel, the girls are anxious about seeing Britt after what happened with Chris.  Britt tells them she just packed her stuff and is thinking of leaving before the rose ceremony.  She explains that she can't be second best, she has to be number one.

Everyone is getting ready for the cocktail party, surprise surprise....Britt is all dressed up.  I thought she was leaving.  Carly thinks Britt wants Chris to beg her to stay. Mr. Harrison arrives to tell the girls that there will not be a cocktail party.  Next time we see you, it will be at the rose ceremony.

Chris tells the girls that he has loved having them in Iowa and he is actually falling in love but he needs to make some tough decisions tonight.  Britt raises her hand and says she needs to talk to him.  She apologizes for her behavior the other night, he tells her she put him in a tough position. He tells her that her reaction to Arlington was too over the top. She won't let him finish talking but he's basically telling her that she isn't the girl that he wants. Goodbye Britt and go take a freakin shower.
Britt is sitting on the curb waiting for her minivan of shame to arrive.

Chris is ready to hand out the rest of the roses.  These ladies will be showing him their hometowns.  Kaitlyn already has a rose.  Whitney gets a rose.  Becca gets a rose.  Jade gets a rose.   Poor Carly.

Chris is in Shreveport to visit Becca's family.  They canoe out to the middle of some gater infested trees and she tells him not to be freaked out that she's never brought anyone home before. Becca has a large family.  Becca's sister says that she is not affectionate or intimate and now Chris is worried. Becca's mom says that she has never had a serious relationship before so this must be big if she is getting close to him. Becca's family really liked him but we didn't see him talk to her Dad.  Chris tells her that she is going with him and he takes her to the state fair where they ride a ferris wheel all by themselves. I really do think she is falling in love with Chris.

Chris is in Chicago to visit Whitney's hometown. Whitney tells Chris they are going to take a tour of her life and go make a baby. They change into scrubs and she shows him how the sperm and the egg are put together.  Chris likes hear about her job and they joke about him giving a sample to be tested. They show him the room where the 'magic' happens and there is a magazine on the table with Jade in it. They are meeting Whitney's family....her sister, her brother in law, her uncle and her grandmother. Whitney tells her sister that if she had any doubts she would walk away. Kimberly is not going to give her approval to Chris until she is number 1.  Whitney shares a bottle of wine with Chris that she got in Napa.



Chris is in Phoenix to visit Kaitlyn's family that lives in Canada part of the year.  They have started the date in a dirty alley but they end up in a recording studio. They are going to write and record a rap song. Chris sucks at this. Kaitlyn's family is very welcoming and she tells them that she hearts him. She takes him to see a billboard that says Kaitlyn HEART Chris.

Chris is in Gering Nebraska to visit Jade's family. Even though Jade lives in L.A. Chris thinks she's really a small town girl. Jade's dad seems to be hinting that there is a side to her that Chris hasn't seen.  They are mentioning that she is wild and free but they are surprised that she'd want to settle down. Jade and her Dad cry together talking about her heart. Jade tells Chris there are some things about her that surprise him. She tells Chris that she posed for Playboy and then shows him the pictures and video.  He seems really uncomfortable but says he isn't going to judge her and let it effect their relationship. Chris has now seen Jade completely out of her shell.

Tonight, one of the ladies is going home.  Whitney gets a rose, Kaitlyn gets a rose, Becca gets a rose.  Sorry Jade, turns out your photos were a deal breaker afterall.

Next week on The Bachelor: Going far away (finally) and the fantasuite dates.  Becca reveals that she's a virgin and Whitney talks about how hard she's worked to get where she is in her job.

*My favorites. Pretty freakin impressed that I selected the top three from the first episode.

*Whitney (29) Fertility Nurse, sounds like she is on helium. Crashed a wedding with Chris. Classy and Mature. Fun date in Des Moines.
*Kaitlyn (29) Dance Instructor, told Chris he can plow the f**k out of her field any day. Date to CostCo.  She's into farmers. Has a connection with Chris.
*Becca (25) Chiropractor Assistant. Also a virgin.

Jade (28) Cosmetics Developer.  Got the Cinderella date. Has a weird hypothermia condition. Date to Arlington and meets his parents. Posed for playboy. 
Carly (29) Cruise Ship Singer, sang a song with a karaoke machine. Wrestled a pig for love.
Britt (27) Waitress. Hugs too long, got 1st impression rose. Doesn't shower and is afraid of heights.
*Megan (24) Makeup Artist. Got 1/1 date to Grand Canyon. Thinks New Mexico is in another country.
Ashley I. (26) Freelance Journalist. Claims to be a virgin. Cries when she doesn't get her way. Cries when Chris doesn't take her virginity. Doesn't like Whitney.
Kelsey (28) Guidance Counselor, widow. Fake smile and laugh.  Hates camping and hell holes.  Has revealed herself as a narcissistic loon.
Samantha (27) Fashion Designer
Mackenzie(21) Dental Assistant, has a son named Kale, likes guys with big noses. Clueless. Doesn't own any pants.
Tracy (29) Fourth Grade Teacher, class wrote Chris a note
Tandra (30) Executive Assistant
Jordan (24) Student, brought him a little bottle of whiskey
Juelia (30) Esthetician. Husband killed himself.
Trina (33) Special Ed Teacher
Tara (26) Sport Fishing Enthusiast, daisy dukes and boots.
Amber (29) Bartender
Nikki (26) Former NFL Cheerleader
Ashley S (24) Hair Stylist, sees onions, and angels. *crazy pants*
Jillian (25) News Producer, broke into Chris's house. Works out all day long. Lady bits are always hanging out. Got sent home on a date to SFO.
Alissa (24) Flight Attendant
Kimberly (28) Yoga Instructor, convinced Chris to keep her.

Sunday, February 15, 2015

Puke or Cry



Here we go people.....FOUR hours of The Bachelor! We had a huge conflict in our home because The Walking Dead and The Bachelor were going down at the same freakin time! I lost the coin toss and had the watch The Dead first.

What we're going to learn right now is how Chris is feeling and Kelsey is going to tell all.  Wait...WHAT?

Kelsey is back and talking to Mr Harrison because she is one of the most controversial women in the house. The ladies thought that she was being condescending but she doesn't think she's a narcissist. She says that she did not fake her panic attack, she felt flooded and had no control over her motor movements.  She's amazed that she was able to fake feeling okay. Kelsey thinks that Ashley is really an incredible person.

Mr Harrison sat down with Chris and we're getting right down to business and the crap that happened last week in the badlands.  Chris was in a tough situation and throwing people under the bus was the best way to get to the bottom of things.  Chris clearly knows less about women that we thought he did.  Which makes him the prefect bachelor.

Now we are talking about Crazy Ashley.  Not to be confused with Kardashley.  Chris was legitimately scared when they gave her a gun at the scary town date. Ashley was wandering around the property and she thought there was a betting ring. To go on record, her audition tape was very normal.

Drunk Tara was given too many chances.  Jordon tried to fix her bad first, second and third impression but he couldn't do it, it wasn't right.  Jillian (also know as black box) was just right for her but he did like her short bikinis.  Juelia and (her dead husband) were one of the hardest people to send home.

Insert funny recap of Jimmy Kimmel's week on the bachelor.

Carly's date with Chris was just so awkward but the date with Becca that we didn't see much of, was fraught with danger.  Sully the donkey was crazy and ran off into the woods for no reason.  Let's talk about Britt. They have amazing chemistry and he has gotten himself into a little bit of trouble.  Chris isn't in this to hurt anyone, he's doing the best he can. Chris feels badly that he hurt the girls when he took Britt to the concert.

Mr. Harrison interviewed Andi but both we didn't watch her season because we feel like she is insincere and dishonest so we are fast forwarding through her crying.

NOW...the real episode!  The girls are riding in horse drawn carriages to the rose ceremony.  Britt wants to know what happened on the date where he sent both Ashley and Kelsey home.  Megan pulls Chris aside and asks him to be honest about how he feels about her and he admits that he feels more strongly about other girls than her and she leaves. Like immediately, without saying goodbye to her friends.

There is one more person going home tonight.  But Chris doesn't think he can send another girl home. He has announced to the girls that he feels good about everyone in the room and he's decided not to have a rose ceremony tonight.  He announces to the girls that hey are going to Iowa.

Welcome to Des Moines Iowa! Please note that this city is almost 3 hours from where Chris lives.  There are two Sephora stores (within 2 miles of each other) but they are 3 hours from the farm.  DATE CARD: Jade....join me in my hometown, Chris.  Arlington, where hills and prairie meet. Chris shows her all around his farm which takes all of 15 minutes and she mentions that someone must be willing to live in this rural location away from towns and civilization.  Chris offers to name a cow after her.  Chris takes her to town and shows her the bank and the meat market. Technology has replaced people, even the bar has closed.  No restaurants, coffee shops or grocery stores. Chris takes Jade to his high schools foot ball game.  Next thing you know Jade is meeting his parents. Jade is trying to explain who she is and wants to tell him about her past but is scared. Jade tells Chris not to feel bad about what he does and where he lives.

DATE CARD: Whitney, Let's look for love in Des Moines, Chris.  They are going to an Art Gallery.  Chris is trying to show Whitney (with a real job) that there is culture close by so if she needs something to do while she's pumping out babies, she can. They are taking pictures around town for fun. Whitney feels like she's on a date in her new home.  Whitney honey...you are 3 hours from your new home. Chris relies on his sisters quite a bit. They go out for a drink and three of Chris's best friends come over and she gets to know them. Whitney has all of the right answers for his friends including if she is ready to move.  She says yes! Whitney has shared that she doesn't have parents because he Mom died 10 years ago and she's excited to be a part of a family so she can have one again. Chris took her outside and showed her that their picture had been made into a mural on the wall.


Back at the hotel, Jade is telling the amazing story of her date and Britt starts to crying.  Carly asks if Britt wants to go to Arlington and check it out. ROAD TRIP to Arlington Iowa!  The girls soon learn, once they have arrived that if you blink, you will miss Arlington Iowa. They get out and try to walk around but their isn't anything to see. No grocery story, bank is closed, no library, church is closed. Carly is encouraged that this is where she is going to raise her kids.

DATE CARD: Britt, Carly and Kaitlyn Icy our future together, Chris. The ladies go to an ice rink and play hockey sort of. Chris is a bad ice skater.  Britt pulls him away and gets back into her high top sneakers so that they can talk.  She tells Chris that she loved Arlington after she told the girls that she couldn't live there. Carly tells Chris that Britt is lying about her love for Arlington. The girls and Chris hang out in a antique store and chat. He pulls Britt aside, she is going on and on about him meeting her family and how ghetto her family is. Chris is trying to get her first impression of his town. She covers well and tells him that she loves it. He chats with Kaitlyn and assures her that he feels good about where they are and she's nervous about taking him to meet her family. Kaitlyn gets the only rose that has been given out on any of these dates. Britt freaks out and chastises Chris for not validating her willingness to live in the middle of nowhere for the rest of her life.


*My favorites. I had to drop Britt from my favorites because of the showering thing.

*Whitney (29) Fertility Nurse, sounds like she is on helium. Crashed a wedding with Chris. Classy and Mature. Fun date in Des Moines.
*Kaitlyn (29) Dance Instructor, told Chris he can plow the f**k out of her field any day. Date to CostCo.  She's into farmers. Has a connection with Chris.
*Becca (25) Chiropractor Assistant. Also a virgin.
Britt (27) Waitress. Hugs too long, got 1st impression rose. Doesn't shower and is afraid of heights.
Carly (29) Cruise Ship Singer, sang a song with a karaoke machine. Wrestled a pig for love.
Jade (28) Cosmetics Developer.  Got the Cinderella date. Has a weird hypothermia condition. Date to Arlington and meets his parents.

*Megan (24) Makeup Artist. Got 1/1 date to Grand Canyon. Thinks New Mexico is in another country.
Ashley I. (26) Freelance Journalist. Claims to be a virgin. Cries when she doesn't get her way. Cries when Chris doesn't take her virginity. Doesn't like Whitney.
Kelsey (28) Guidance Counselor, widow. Fake smile and laugh.  Hates camping and hell holes.  Has revealed herself as a narcissistic loon.
Samantha (27) Fashion Designer
Mackenzie(21) Dental Assistant, has a son named Kale, likes guys with big noses. Clueless. Doesn't own any pants.
Tracy (29) Fourth Grade Teacher, class wrote Chris a note
Tandra (30) Executive Assistant
Jordan (24) Student, brought him a little bottle of whiskey
Juelia (30) Esthetician. Husband killed himself.
Trina (33) Special Ed Teacher
Tara (26) Sport Fishing Enthusiast, daisy dukes and boots.
Amber (29) Bartender
Nikki (26) Former NFL Cheerleader
Ashley S (24) Hair Stylist, sees onions, and angels. *crazy pants*
Jillian (25) News Producer, broke into Chris's house. Works out all day long. Lady bits are always hanging out. Got sent home on a date to SFO.
Alissa (24) Flight Attendant
Kimberly (28) Yoga Instructor, convinced Chris to keep her.

Monday, February 9, 2015

Save a Horse, Ride a Farm Boy


Reminder...we are still finishing the most dramatic rose ceremony ever from last week.

Kelsey was crying on the floor and now they are giving her oxygen.  She's asks to talk to Chris and is joking that she had better get a rose tonight.  She tells Chris that she didn't realize he was going to tell the girls about their conversation. He tells her she looks beautiful and kisses her. She explains to the girls that she was feeling all of the feelings and she's now fake laughing and joking about fainting. Many of the gals are questioning what Chris would be thinking to give her a rose after all of this.

Finally....the Rose Ceremony.  The roses go to....Jade, Kaitlyn, Megan, Becca, Ashley I (ugh), Kelsey (damn it).

Chris is looking forward to putting the drama behind them and head to Deadwood South Dakota.  The gals are really excited to be in South Dakota.  DATE CARD: Becca, Let's give love a shot. Chris.  YAY!!  Guess what?  Kelsey isn't happy. Becca is the only girl that Chris hasn't kissed so he expects the date to move slowly. They are going horseback riding and they are taking a donkey with a camera mounted on it. It's night time and they are grilling food and laughing and talking.  They seem so comfortable. She and Chris are talking about their 5 year plan.  Chris wants 4-6 kids and she wants 5.  Becca gets the rose and her first kiss with Chris.  There was very little of this date shown, must have been dull.

Back at the ranch...Several girls confront Kelsey about her odd behavior at the rose ceremony.  She gives them a bunch of psychobabble about processing her feelings.  Her mental state was confused and her panic attack was terrifying. She says that she'll try to be more mindful.

DATE CARD: Whitney, Jade, Britt, Kaitlyn, Carly and Megan.  Let's make sweet music together. Chris.  They are writing songs with Big and Rich! WOW! Jade is struggling so Big makes her run up and down the streets of Deadwood to try to get her groove on. Britt molests Chris in front of everyone and it's obvious that he is really into her. Chris starts off performing a song and now we know that he really is just a pretty face. Britt does a decent job of singing her song. Poor Whitney.  Kaitlyn did a country rap and Big jumped up on stage with her.  Megan did a nice ballad. Carly did an amazing job!  She has a beautiful voice and her lyrics were so perfect.  I don't know how she didn't cry. Jade did a nice job even though she was so nervous. Chris has time with all of the girls and then he pulls Britt out the door and they run down the street and go to the Big and Rich concert. Britt gets the rose. Save a Horse, Ride a Farm Boy! Everyone is crying.



DATE CARD: Kelsey and Ashley, One stays, one goes. Let's have good times in the badlands. Chris. I can't believe I'm about to say this but, I really want Ashley to stay. They take off in a helicopter and fly past Mt. Rushmore.  Guess What?  Kelsey knows all of the names of the presidents.  They are sitting on a bed in the middle of the badlands with the most awkward silence ever. He and Ashley go off together and he asks her how things are in "the house".  She briefly tells him that everyone thinks Kelsey is super fake and he thanks her for telling him. Chris has time with Kelsey and tells her that Ashley said she is fake and the rest of the girls feel the same way. The girls are sitting on the bed together for a long time and Kelsey is giving Ashley the evil eye. Oh Chris, you cute idiot.  Now they are arguing and Ashley stomps off crying. Who knew there were so many buses to be thrown under in the badlands. Chris just told her that he can't give her the kind of lifestyle that she needs or whats.  There isn't enough mascara in Iowa for this girl. Now, he's telling Kelsey that he can't give her what she needs and she says,' I know it's not me.' Chris flies away and leaves them both in the badlands. There is massive amounts of cheering in the hotel room when the intern comes to take Kelsey's suitcase away.



No rose ceremony tonight but we now have a TWO NIGHT EVENT to look forward to. Starting Sunday night with the rose ceremony in Deadwood.  See ya then!


*My favorites. I had to drop Britt from my favorites because of the showering thing.

*Whitney (29) Fertility Nurse, sounds like she is on helium. Crashed a wedding with Chris. Classy and Mature.
*Kaitlyn (29) Dance Instructor, told Chris he can plow the f**k out of her field any day. Date to CostCo.  She's into farmers. Has a connection with Chris.
*Megan (24) Makeup Artist. Got 1/1 date to Grand Canyon. Thinks New Mexico is in another country.
*Becca (25) Chiropractor Assistant. Also a virgin.
Britt (27) Waitress. Hugs too long, got 1st impression rose. Doesn't shower and is afraid of heights.
Carly (29) Cruise Ship Singer, sang a song with a karaoke machine. Wrestled a pig for love.
Jade (28) Cosmetics Developer.  Got the Cinderella date. Has a weird hypothermia condition.

Ashley I. (26) Freelance Journalist. Claims to be a virgin. Cries when she doesn't get her way. Cries when Chris doesn't take her virginity. Doesn't like Whitney.
Kelsey (28) Guidance Counselor, widow. Fake smile and laugh.  Hates camping and hell holes.  Has revealed herself as a narcissistic loon.
Samantha (27) Fashion Designer
Mackenzie(21) Dental Assistant, has a son named Kale, likes guys with big noses. Clueless. Doesn't own any pants.
Tracy (29) Fourth Grade Teacher, class wrote Chris a note
Tandra (30) Executive Assistant
Jordan (24) Student, brought him a little bottle of whiskey
Juelia (30) Esthetician. Husband killed himself.
Trina (33) Special Ed Teacher
Tara (26) Sport Fishing Enthusiast, daisy dukes and boots.
Amber (29) Bartender
Nikki (26) Former NFL Cheerleader
Ashley S (24) Hair Stylist, sees onions, and angels. *crazy pants*
Jillian (25) News Producer, broke into Chris's house. Works out all day long. Lady bits are always hanging out. Got sent home on a date to SFO.
Alissa (24) Flight Attendant
Kimberly (28) Yoga Instructor, convinced Chris to keep her.