Sunday, March 16, 2014

Back in the Day

We were leaving the parking lot of a local BBQ joint on Saturday when we started talking about music. The night before, Keith and I had been looking at the list of songs that were popular in 1974 and many of the songs we remembered hearing for many years after.

We decided that back in the day, a song would be popular for a few years and there wasn't this constant pressure to produce new music.  We likely didn't get tired of songs for a few years because we didn't have easy ways to carry our music around with us.  We had to buy a record and play it at home, on a huge piece of equipment. ( By the way, record players are still available at Best Buy)  I joked that 2014 people tire of a song in a few weeks and to stay popular, an artist has to come up with fresh new music to keep people happy.  Our attention spans are short!

We moved on to television shows and remarked about how if The Love Boat came on and we weren't home, we missed that episode.  Until it came on again as a repeat.  We had lots of repeats back in the day because the networks only made so many shows.  We were happy with what was on and there was never any binge watching.  Keith did say that it seemed like every time he watched Charles in Charge is was the same episode.  He never got to see a new one.  Now in the mid 90's I do remember watching a marathon of My So-Called Life and thinking it was fantastic!

That bought us to books.  A good book takes time to research and figure out the details.  Back in the day, an author would release a book every couple years.  Now days, if you don't release a book (or sequel to a book) every couple months then people lose interest and move on.  Here is that attention span problem again.

Hey!  Remember when we would go places and do things and not have a photo to show for it?  If you wanted a photo you had to actually buy film for your camera and then take it somewhere to be developed.  I easily take 3-5 pictures a day and sometimes 3-5 videos of my cat.  The pictures all live on my phone/ipad/computer and facebook!

We are living at such a fast pace that the details are getting lost.  I have a DVR full of shows that I don't have time to watch, a iPad full of downloaded books that I don't have time to read.  I'm so busy with PTA and the kids school work that it just keeps adding to this out of control snowball that's growing bigger and rolling faster.  And I don't know how to stop it.

I know it's crazy to say......but sometimes I miss the good ole days.

Friday, March 14, 2014

Friday 5: Roller Coaster

I'm joining Emmy today to give you 5 thoughts and 5 pictures. It's been a crazy, fun, busy and disappointing week. I feel like I'm on a roller coaster and I'm about to throw up!

1.  I am so happy that we finally found a babysitter.  Keith and I have been on a bunch of dates the last few months and we have another one planned for next month.  Keith also started a new job three weeks ago and he is 7 minutes from our house!!  I can stop by for lunch and coffee anytime I want.

2.  It was a great week for fun because I deliberately made the time for it.  Several weeks ago, I invited 25 of my closest Mom friends to see Girls Only with me.  Eight of them showed up and we laughed until we peed!  I even got called up on stage to interact with the cast.  So much fun!  We're planning our next Mommy Field Trip to the Coors Brewery.

3.  I wish more people got as excited as I do about volunteering at school.  I love planning things for the kids and helping to provide ways for the kids to socialize.  We are not a neighborhood school so our kids are scattered all over the district.  Things like LEGO Club are great for making friends.  And I wear silly hats.

4.  Speaking of PTA.  I have to keep reminding myself that I'm making a difference in 617 children's lives and that people will let me down but I have to keep going because what I do is important.  Thank God for my VP.  I couldn't do this without her!

5.  I wish I could explain why I'm terrified of going to the hair salon.  Every March, I just can't take it anymore and I get my hair cut.  Yes.  Once a year, I cut my hair!  I love how it looks after so I don't know why I don't do it more often.

Good People at The Curious Theater

Girls Only at Garner Galleria Theater


Fundraiser Prizes

Real Housewives Hair

Monday, March 10, 2014


Welcome to the finale of The Bachelor: Juan...LIVE!

Juan's family has arrived in.....crap, I don't know where they are.  Somewhere pretty.  Clare is about to arrive and will be meeting the entire family, including Camilla.  Clare is hoping that Juan's family has amazing chemistry with her.  She meets Camilla and they don't seem to hit it off very well.  Juan's brother cousin asks Clare if she speaks spanish and she says no but she understands a little bit.  I guess they can't talk crap about her behind her back.

I can't understand a word that Juan's family is saying.  WHERE ARE THE SUBTITLES?  Juan's Mom talks to Clare and she tells her that Juan gets her and she loves him.  Clare asks if there is anything she should know about Juan and she says that Juan is super hyperactive. Mom asks how the communication is because Juan is very rude.  Clare says that he is honest and even thought he hurt her feelings and made her cry, iss okay....because he was just trying to explain how he feels.

Juan's brosin (brother/cousin...get it) asks Clare if she'll be able to hang on to Juan when things get tough and he tries to run away.  Clare says that when she loves something, she strangles the shit out of it.  Brosin thinks that Clare is lovely and an angel.  Wow, his family just told Clare what a dick Juan is.  Juan's Dad told Clare that if Juan picks her, he will be her Daddy.  Clare can 1000 percent see herself as a part of Juan Pablo's family.

Brosin is exciting to meet Neekee.  Oh snap!  Clare brought the exact same flowers that Clare brought.  You can see that the Bro and the Brosin really like Neekee!  She is very impressive and talks about how grateful and blessed she is.   Dad asks what she thinks about Juan and she responds that she thinks becoming a father has made him the man he is today. (Does she think she's in the Miss USA pagent?)  Dad tells Neekee that Juan is a very difficult person, he's selfish and wants everything his way.  He also mentions that Juan is brutally honest.  Dad thinks that Neekee is strong enough to manage Juan. Mom is asking Neekee if she's sure that this is what she wants and she's pretty sure that Juan is ready.  Brosin wants to know if she can take a lot of fighting?  He tells her that when the going gets tough, Juan runs away and how will she handle that?  Neekee thinks they will fight well together.  As Neekee leaves, Camilla kisses her cheek.

Note: I'm fast forwarding through all of the live audience commentary because I don't care.  Also, Chris Harrison keeps saying that this is exciting and I beg to differ.


I spy a helicopter and a tormented Juan.  It appears that Clare is wearing two watches because she is a 12 year old girl or a gangsta.  Clare says that she has been falling in love with him and this will be the last time they spend time together before they get engaged.  I think it's possible that Clare's yellow cut offs are cutting off the circulation to her brain.  Ay yi yi.   Clare tells us that there was a rare moment when the helicopter was landing with no cameras or audio and Juan leaned over and whispered in her ear.  She was expecting something romantic but that is not what came out of his mouth. She is shocked and has no words, it was the last thing that she expected to hear.  He told her some offensive, insulting sexual thing and it made her feel awful.

Clare is laying on the bed in her room, thinking about the date and the words that Juan said when the cameras were off.  She feels like he doesn't know her at all and that what they have is just physical.  She didn't just come here for a hook up.  Juan is at the door and she isn't giving him besito.  She wants to talk about what he said in the helicopter.  They don't know each other enough.  Clare wants more than a sexual relationship and Juan says he doesn't need it anymore.  He just told her what he was feeling.  Clare needs answers and she's confused because she thought they were on the same page.  Clare is ready to bail because things are about to get 1000 times harder if all they have is kissing.  Juan says that he can see himself with her and he likes how family oriented she is.  He says if this was just physical, she would be gone.  Clare says it's going to be hard after this.  Oh hell....Juan is distracting her by talking about babies.  Juan has not said iss okay ONE TIME!  Clare decides that they may not know each other 100 percent but they have something special.  She doesn't want a rose, she wants forever.


Juan is hoping that something will happen to on this date that will help him make up his mind.   Neekee thinks that Juan is one of the most amazing people she has ever met in her life.  I think Neekee has led a sheltered life.  Neekee says that she loved meeting his family and she can't pick a favorite.  Juan tells her not to or they will piss on her. Juan asks her if she has any concerns and she says that he might be a little guarded.  Juan tells her no....what you have experienced here, is all there is.  There is a part of Neekee that is a little worried and doesn't see him having something this special with someone else.  That's weird, because I just did 5 minutes ago.  

Juan is at the door of Neekee's hotel room and she wants to know if it's going to be her.  She wants to hear the things that he can't tell her yet.  They are struggling to find stuff to talk about besides the fact that this journey is almost over.  It is what it is.....says Juan.  Neekee is in love but she's worried that Juan doesn't feel the same. OH MY GOD....Juan, you have a limited vocabulary, do not try to finish Neekee's sentences! And for the love of god, stop whispering....wait, I got you.....iss gonna be okay.  Neekee hasn't ever been with someone that feels this right.  Juan leaves and Neekee is crying.

It's the moment of truth.  Everything has led up to this.......

Clare arrives first and is talking jibberish about having something special and believing in Juan Pablo and he is silent. Juan says that they have had their ups and downs and she is an amazing woman.  He wishes that the earth sucked him because he has to follow things best for him and he has to say goodbye to her.  He tries to go in for the lovin and she stops him.  Now she is giving him a piece of her mind. She is pissed on him because he talked about babies!!!!  And she saved this moment for the man of her dreams and he pissed on it. Dear Clare, there are always TWO.  You were number two.  Have you never seen this show before?  HARSH Clare!  Harsh!

This is the day that Nikki has been waiting for.  She's never felt like this before and she's really glad that she does.  This is once in a lifetime for her and she can't imagine living her life without him.  She loves him.   Juan says that he likes so many things about her and he loves how she cares about other people and he loves her honesty.  He has a ring in his pocket but he's not going use it because he promised her Dad that he would be 100 percent sure. He likes her a lot.   Neekee....will you accept my final rose?


After The Final Rose......

Clare is wearing a leather dress and she is re-hashing the day that Juan broke her heart.  Chris Harrison asks her if she wants to confront Juan Pablo and she says she doesn't want to hear anymore bullshit.  Juan is not the man she thought he was.

Juan is in the hot seat and says that it's been hard for him.  Basically:  It is what it is!

Nikki is here and she is happy this is over but not over like you's been hard sneaking around but it's been great.  She doesn't know if he is in love with her but her feelings haven't changed.  He wouldn't be here if he didn't care about her.  They are both happy in the relationship.  Now Juan is here.  Their relationship has been hidden for four months and now they can have a relationship in public. Juan will not say that he loves Nikki.    He says this is real life and they are done with the show and now they will be private.  Juan is getting major flack for not following the Bachelor script.

And the next Bachelorette is......Andi.


Everything happens for a reason.

In 1997, many things happened that would change the course of my life.  My parents and sister moved to Dallas, leaving me behind in Colorado with my soon to be ex-husband.  My friend Denise would leave her husband because I caught him cheating on her in the backseat of her car in a bar parking lot and my future husband was in near fatal accident.

Keith lived and took inventory of his life, deciding that he wanted a wife and a family.  My friend Denise would move to Denver and work at a collection agency.   My sister would move back to Denver.  

This resulted in Denise convincing me to leave my husband and move to Denver to take a job at the collection agency and Bobbi letting me move in with her and Keith and I finding each other on eHarmony.  

Fate.  Miracles......

Two weeks ago, my friend Denise passed away.  It has brought up all kinds of memories and sadness because at one time, she knew me the best.  And she saved my life.

I hope Robert and Denise have found each other and have have a dance party in heaven.  

Monday, March 3, 2014

The Women Tell All: Besitos

Our favorite women are all here tonight.  And Juan.

But first....Sean, Catherine and Catherine's new bangs!  They loved watching themselves on TV and can't wait to show their kids.  Catherine talked about their wedding night and said the fireworks were quick.  Well heck yeah!  They were both virgins!  Oh dear a sting ray attached itself to Sean's man parts. That sucks.

Everyone agrees that Juan is hot and they didn't care what he was saying, they just wanted to hear him talk.  Renee said that she had lots to talk about with Juan but Alli says that she didn't have anything to talk about with him.

The ladies are complaining that he didn't ask them what their favorite color is.  I don't know what Keith's favorite color is.  Now Kelly is attacking Lauren because she was totally into him in the house and now she says that he didn't seem genuine.

Juan gave out a lot of kisses.  Kat said it was hard to watch the show because he talked about being fair but then kissed everyone.   Some say that he used his kid as an excuse.  Kat is also irritated that he called the Moms his special ones.

Sharlene is on the hot seat!  Chris says that she is the most intriguing contestant on the show.  She thinks too much and can't shut her brain off which means that Juan doesn't think at all. They did have a physical connection but couldn't piece the rest of it together.  She found him very curious.  She doesn't regret leaving.

Renee's turn in the hot seat!   She says that their connect was mainly because they both had kids.  Turns out Renee has a new love and she is very happy.

Now it's Andi and she is going to tell us ALL ABOUT the fantasy suite!  Chris wants to know what it was about Juan Pablo that she liked.  She loved spending time with him and she was falling in love but then...dun dun dun, the fateful night!  She says she had fun with him and then he talked all about himself  and his soccer and wan't grateful for the opportunity.  He told her that she had barely beaten out Renee. The most offensive thing was when he talked about his overnight date with Clare.  So she played dead faked sleep until the night was over.  Juan has no filter.   I think that Andi was just a placeholder and he was never really into her.  He seems to have had a better connection with some of the other girls. 

Juan Pablo is in the house!  Honesty sometimes seems rude.  When you are honest with someone it is going to hurt.  Cassandra is upset that he met Renee's son and then sent her home.  A lot of the women are upset that he favored the Moms over anyone else that left things at home.  They should all be pissed on Juan that Kelly got to bring her dog and no one else did.  

Kelly is bringing up the interview he did where he talked about gay people. She is very upset because she has two moms (or two dads).  He says that his words were taken out of context and he'd like to explain his comments to her off of camera because he loves the gay people. Another girl that I don't remember says that he needs to stop using English as a second language as a cop out.

The bloopers were funny.  Juan kept talking about his little package.  And then a montage of him's okay.  Kelly's dog took a shit in the pool and then Juan saw a rat and Nikki heard someone killing a cat.

None of the girls will say who they think Juan will picked.  Kelly is Team Nikki and a couple of others admit to being Team Clare.

Previews:  The girls questioning Juan, then crying in their rooms and Juan walking about a blue suit.

Tuesday, February 25, 2014

Ay Yi Yi

Saint Lucia, you are so pretty!

Juan is wearing my favorite color and he is excited to talk to the girls without cameras.  He's starting with Clare and they are going to have a blast. They board a dingy and tour the island and head towards a yacht.  Their conversation is incredibly boring and the same shit they have been saying over and over again.  Except that Clare thinks the fantasy-suite is not for her.

Dinner in a cave, but I don't see any food.  Juan is talking up the fantasy-suite where he will get to know Clare a lot better without the camera man.  Clare wants to talk about his daughter.  I think she just forgot her name, but she totally wants to meet her. It's important for Camilla (or whatever she just called her) to know that this just means more love.  Clare is him hawing around about the card.  She's worried about how Camilla will react to the fantasy-suite.  She's punishing him for the night time swimming thing. She really really really wants to spend more time with him.  She is the most immature 32 year old I have ever met.  So....she says Yes.  God this is boring!   Juan: you're so cute.  Clare: no you're so cute.  Juan: I've got your nose!  Oh good.  Now they are in a hot tub.  Clare wants to have babies with Juan.

Still in Saint Lucia.

Juan's sleepover with Clare was great and they didn't sleep so he's going to be super tired.  He likes talking to Andi so this should be fun.  Andi thinks the hometown date went great because she got a rose and thinks they are in a great place.  They go to a seafood festival where a steel drum band is playing.   They sit down with some kids and he gets the kids some juice.  He's really sweet with the kids. Next thing you know, they are playing soccer with the kids. They jump in a buggy and take off around the island.  This date is actually interesting.  They stop in the jungle and he says he has a surprise for her....a waterfall.  Andi wants to know what her family said to him and he tells her.

Dinner on a deck but I still don't see any food. Bla bla bla, not good to force things.  Juan is easy and his eyes are starting to go cross-eyed, I think he is sleep deprived.  He's talking in circles and getting defensive about Andi's questions about her fitting in his life.  He doesn't know if she'd make a good mother.  Fantasy-suite card comes out...what will Andi do?  She says yes.  Andi is on cloud nine and can't stop smiling.

Jade Saint Lucia aka, The Morning After

Juan wakes up happy about Andi.  He says that they laughed and talked for hours and hours.  Andi could be the one and he's happy.  Very happy.   Andi on the other hand, is not happy.  She couldn't wait to leave the fantasy-suite and it was a nightmare.  She saw a side of Juan that she doesn't like.  Andi is realizing that every time she tried to talk about herself, he took over the conversation and that he never asked her about herself. Name dropping and talking about his night with Clare was inappropriate.  Juan has doesn't have a filter and is offensive.   She wants to be with a guy that loves her more than he loves himself. Andi knows this isn't going to work.  So...Camera-Ready Juan is a good guy but Off-Camera Juan is a dick?

More of Saint Lucia.

Oh my gosh, what the hell is Nikki wearing?  A fringe bikini top and pants that she stole from the 70's.  Oh wait, I think I saw those at the mall over the weekend!    Nikki is pretty and sexy and makes Juan moan.  They have mounted a camera onto the horse and it's freaking me out.  Oh did I forget to mention, they are riding horses?  Now they are on a beach.  Is this an Old Spice commercial or The Bachelor.  Nikki thinks Juan could be a great person for her.   When Nikki smiles, Juan knows she is excited.  Nikki is nervous and not sure how Juan feels about her.  She's hoping to tell him that she loves him at dinner.

Dinner on the beach, still not food.  Nikki wants to know why he asked her if she was ready for this.  Does he have doubts.  Here comes the fantasy-suite card and Nikki says yes.  Total privacy, him and Nikki.  She has to tell him how she feels about him tonight or she will regret it. There are frogs making so much noise, I could barely hear Nikki tell Juan that she loves him.  Cue lots of kissing!

Chat with Chris Harrison, he's got three girls and he doesn't want to send home someone that he will regret.  He's feeling very good about these women and his prospects. He has no idea what he is going to do.  Juan watches videos from all three girls.  Nikki loves the time she's spent with him and meeting his daughter was amazing.  Clare feels that they are great chemistry and it meant a lot for him to meet her family.  She's fallen in love with him and wants to start their future together.  Andi didn't know what to expect and she went from a crush to having feelings for him.  She has had a lot of different emotions since the overnight and wants to talk to him.

Andi knows what she's doing and now Juan is going to know.  She's not in love with Juan Pablo and isn't going to be.  She thinks Juan doesn't take this seriously and doesn't like to talk about serious things.  Juan tells her that he respects her and that it's okay that she doesn't love him.  It's okay.  She's upset because he doesn't know her.  She can't hear him say it's okay ever again.  Juan tells her that english is his second language.   Andi didn't like him telling her about his overnight with Clare.  He's just being honest.  It's fine.  (see Andi, it's not's fine).  Oh shit!  He told her that she was here by default.  Those are her words, he told her she barely made it.  He thinks she took it the wrong way.  Juan...this is a losing battle. She argues for a living.  Walk away!  Andi....when you tell a story and then Juan tells a story, it's called sharing!  I'm beginning to see why Andi is single.
 NEW DRINKING GAME:  take a drink every time Juan says OKAY!  Goodbye Andi.

Juan tells the girls at the rose ceremony that Andi left because she didn't like him anymore.  He will give them the rose and they are free to say no.  They both accept the rose.

Next week: The Women Tell All.

Don't miss the shocking conclusion of the The Bachelor in TWO WEEKS!

Monday, February 24, 2014

Something About Juan


Nikki's hometown is Kansas City and she's happy to be home from around the world.  Juan says that Nikki is very special and she says this day is make it or break it.   She's going to see how cowboy Juan is so she has challenged him to some BBQ eating.  He has never had spicy BBQ sauce before and says he'll get fat eating this all the time. Nikki is getting payback for Juan making her dance and puts him on a mechanical bull.  (I'm okay....I'm okay) I think it's possible that Juan hurt his juanita.  Nikki wants to tell Juan that she loves him.

Juan meets the parents and they are excited to see him. Nikki's family is very welcoming and makes a toast to new relationships.  Nikki tells her mom that this feels so natural and normal and that they have a physical and mental connection.  (Take that Sharlene)  Nikki's Dad talks with Juan and he tells him that he loves Nikki's honesty.  Juan says lots of nice things about making a family with Nikki.  Nikki tells her dad that she can't put her finger on it but there is something about Juan.  Nikki has a lot of love to give.  I think I love Nikki's parents.

On the front stoop (Juan...that means the porch) Nikki and Juan moan and groan but she doesn't tell him that she loves him. Maybe next week she says.


We're now in Atlanta with Andi and it looks like she got her roots touched up....she should have gotten the ends touched up.  Juan says they have a connection and Andi has a surprise for him. Andi wants to know how tough he is and takes him shooting.  Andi is an excellent shot and Juan thinks it's hot. Andi says if Juan doesn't hit the bullseye he can't meet her family. Oh crap.  He completely missed the target.  After 50 rounds, he finally hits the mark.

Andi (aka Pookie) is really panicked about Juan meeting her family.  Andi is still waiting to fall in love and her family could be the tipping point.  The fact that Andi was queen of the group dates seems to upset Andi's dad.  Andi's dad is worried and calls Juan a visitor.  Juan tells Andi's mom that he likes that she is beautiful, smart and quick minded.  What she really wants it to watch Juan dance. He wins over the mom by salsa dancing with her.  Andi's dad tells Juan that Camilla doesn't matter, the relationship with the girl matters.  Juan wants to know if his daughter would be accepted into the family.  I think we all know the answer.  Oh...he refuses to answer the question.  I guess we know why Andi is an attorney.  Andi's sister is a debbie downer and says she doesn't see it happening.  UGH.  This is the worst hometown date ever!  Can we leave now?  Pookie wants to sit and talk and Juan says it went well in a voice that is 6 octaves higher than normal.  Juan lies to her face and says this date was fun.  Juan can't wait to get the hell out of Atlanta!  Andi could be falling in love, but maybe not.  Being able to sit here and say that she is very very very close to being in love is huge.


We're in Renee's hometown or Sarasota. It's been 2 months since she's seen Ben.  They go to Ben's little league game and I'm in tears watching them reunite as she checks all of his teeth.  Juan asks him lots of questions about baseball and wishes him luck.  Juan would love to have a son!  Juan talks to Renee's mom and his body language is really closed off.  Renee's mom tells her she can love her pets but she has to be in love with a man.  Renee says she is IN LOVE with Juan.  Renee's family likes Juan and wants her to be happy.  Juan has a really hard time saying goodbye to Renee and she didn't tell him that she loves him.

Angry Squirrels and swarms of Bees.

I guess we're in Clare's hometown of Sacramento.  Clare can't wait to show him her world.  Juan can't wait to see why she is the way she is.  (read: Cray Cray)  Clare brought him to the park because that is where she and her dad used to feed ducks.  She talks about her dad and makes everyone sad.  Juan meets Clare's 5 sisters and mom.  Clare's sister can see how happy she is and asks how she's feeling about everything.  She says she's scared because she hasn't been in love since before her dad died.  Juan admits that at first the attraction was just physical. One of her other sisters thinks that Juan is like their dad.  Her oldest sister wants to know how she'd feel if he didn't pick her.  Shitty.  She'd feel shitty.  Oh...she doesn't give her blessing.  Who asked you Laura?  Laura is speaking for their mother and not letting her talk. At this point, I'm not sure she speaks english.  Clare is very upset and says she's not just doing this for the show. She just wants her family to be happy for her.  Laura accuses Clare of manipulating and disrespecting their mother. Now Laura doesn't want to be on camera.  This is starting to feel like an episode of COPS.  Juan wants to talk to Clare's mom and the heavy (Laura) sits down too.  Juan is trying to make Laura feel better about things and let's Juan talk to mama.  She talks spanish with him and he feels at home. Mama is very welcoming and understanding and would be happy to have Juan in the family.  More moaning as Juan leaves.  Clare would love to marry Juan.

Rose Ceremony

The gravity of this situation is weighing on Juan Pablo.  His heart is beating like crazy and he feels privileged to have four ladies in front of him, three of them with great families.  Ladies invited to paradise and his fantasy-suite:  Nikki, Clare and (dramatic pause for Chris Harrison to tell us this is the last rose tonight).....Andi.

Crap.  Renee is going home.  Juan is upset as he says goodbye. Renee is a class act.  She is thankful to Juan for showing her that there are good guys out there.  What a sweetheart.