Wednesday, February 3, 2010

My Big Fat Greek Boyfriend: Part 2

Once I met *the parents* I was expected to spend lots of time at their home.  If I didn't come around for a few days, they would complain to Stavros that I didn't like them.  They insisted that I wear slippers inside the house so I got a pair of Hello Kitty slippers.  Nikki thought they were ridiculous and would roll her eyes whenever she saw me wearing them.  This pleased me to no end.   Soon...I'd have trouble finding them when I came over because Nikki would hide them from me.


Nikki loved taking me up to her large walk in closet and showing me all of her beautiful outdated clothes and fur coats.  She was very proud of the fact that she was still a size 6 after all of these years and would always ask me if I wanted to try anything on.  Because her clothes would totally fit me....since I was several inches taller and wider than her.

This is when I discovered that she hated my clothes.  She made Stavros take us to the mall one weekend and she insisted on buying me an outfit.  It was a black skirt and sparkly top and awfully dressy for just hanging around the house watching music videos of Sarah Brightman.  Soon...outfits for me started appearing in Stavro's closet and she'd wrinkle her nose at my sweatshirts and jeans.

Whenever I did visit their home...we were never alone and they'd feed me huge quantities of food.  And it was all delicious.  But I started to gain weight and then Nikki started getting after me to *make diet*.  She even took me to the basement and showed me her exercise bike and encouraged me to use it.

Nikki and Angelo had a dinner party on New Year's Eve and I was introduced to their Greek friends as Stavro's future wife. The entire night...they spoke Greek and not a word of english.  This was happening more and more and I was sure that they were talking about me.

I complained to Stavros that I didn't appreciate them not speaking english in front of me and he talked to them about it.  That's when they decided to teach me Greek.  They bought me a bunch of children's books that explained the alphabet and things around the house.  That language is hard!!


And thus began my Big Fat Greek Education.  Everytime we'd sit down to dinner they'd quiz me on my new greek words.  Refrigerator, table, stove, chair, clock, getmethefuckoutofhere!

To be continued...PART THREE.

13 comments:

  1. Oh my. WTF about the slippers? That's so weird. I bet she would have been the MIL from HELL, lol. Just imagine if you'd had kids with him....

    And what's up with obsolete letters? Why have letters if they are obsolete?

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  2. Whoa! What an interesting family!!

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  3. I can recite that greek alphabet 3 times before a match burns your finger.

    ahhhh, sorority days

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  4. OMG, how long did you date this guy? I can't believe you weren't running for the hills already.

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  5. Mmmm, thats just a little scary. Why did you not run for the hills?

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  6. So, the Greeks have a character for "Stigma"? Harsh .....

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  7. You can NOT keep us waiting that long for Part 3!

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  8. Oh.My.Gosh. And you kept going back? That's the part I'm curious about :)

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  9. Holy crap Connie! You should write this pup into a movie script. It is funnier than the original Big Fat Greek Wedding! I can't stop laughing!
    I can just imagine you at that party while everyone is speaking greek!

    XOXO
    Jen

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  10. This is fascinating. Looking forward to Part III!

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  11. Connie you are the most hysterical woman... wearing those slippers just to get a rise out of her. Good for you!
    I could totally see you in that outfit from the video, especially the leather straps wrapped around your arms and the sparkly headpiece. Gotta get me one of those! Sheesh!
    Please don't make us wait for more!

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I love you. You are my best friend! Your hair looks fantastic today!