Wednesday, February 6, 2013

Bachelor Sean: I Will Do Anything For Love

I did it!  I managed to sip ONE glass of wine during The Bachelor: Two Nights is Too Much.

The ladies and Sean left Whitefish in their review mirror and headed to beautiful Lake Louise Canada.  They are staying at the Fairmont Hotel Lake Louise and it has an amazing blue freezing cold lake in front of it.

Catherine gets the first date card and it says, Let's Find a Fairy Tale Ending.  She is taken to the top of a mountain that is currently under a blizzard warning.  Sean pulls up in a giant snow bus (trying to over compensate for something buddy?) and takes her on a the ride of her life. They are having a great time together, playing with the CB and then sledding and drinking hot chocolate in the freezing cold.  When it's over, Sean looks like Snow Miser.

They get warmed up and he takes her to the fairy tale portion of the evening.  A horse drawn carriage to a castle made out of ice blocks just for them.  They snuggle in front of a fire and based on the look of his face, I think he is truly smitten with this girl!   Catherine gets the rose.

The group date takes 8 girls to the other side of the lake to Bare Our Souls.  To get there they have to canoe and Selma's dark side comes out because she wants the canoe being occupied by Sean and Lesley to be eaten by sharks.  Me thinks Selma isn't here for the right reasons.  Poor Sarah is struggling to paddle with one arm.

They get to their destination and see a first aid tent.  It's becoming clear that ABC is more interested in killing off the ladies one at a time instead of sending them home in pricey limos.  They discover that they are going to Polar Bear Plunge!  All of the girls decided to do it.... reluctantly, except for Selma.  This is wear we discover that she is the smartest one of the entire group!  That and she doesn't want to risk her hair getting wet.

Lesley tells us that she is willing to get hypothermia for Sean and then jumps up and down to keep warm because it is freezing cold and she is about to jump into a glacier fed lake in her bikini.   The girls all run to the edge and jump in while Selma breaks into song.  I would do anything for love, but I won't do that, I won't do that.   Fourteen icy breasts and one dick run out of the frigid water and try to get warm with tin foil blankets.

It becomes obvious almost immediately that Tierra is in distress.  The EMT and lifeguard are trying to warm her but she appears to be passing out.  They wrap her up and take her a car to drive her to the hotel.  Please note that they didn't take her to a hospital.  Due to socialized medicine,  i'm guessing they couldn't get her an appointment.  They give her some coffee and a sandwich and try to bring the feeling back in her feet.

Sean visits Tierra in her room where is sporting freshly applied make up and an oxygen tank.   She bats her eyes at him and he tells her he's glad she didn't die is okay. Meanwhile, the other girls think that Tierra faked hypothermia for attention.   Lesley thinks she writing an ebook titled How to Fake an Injury 101 and calls her a Tierra-ist! They are also glad that she won't be at the after party because they can spend more time watching Sean make out with everyone.

But the joke is on them because Tierra hobbles over to the party and plays the victim of frostbite.  Sean gives her more undivided attention but kisses Sarah like she's his grandma after she shows him pictures of her family.  Lesley gets the rose for helping Sean turn the corner and restoring his faith in The Bachelor process.

He's feeling so good about the way things are going that he decides to put one girl out of her misery immediately instead of letting her vacation in Canada for two more days.  He pulls Sarah out of the room and tells her that it's time for her to go home.  She says she's blindsided but she shouldn't have been surprised.  He has eaten her face off one time!

Desiree gets another one on one date when Daniella hasn't got a single one yet.  The date card says Don't be Fall in Love.  This can only mean one thing.  Another death trap.  Poor Des doesn't have the proper gear and is now hiking and repelling down a mountain in snow boots.   The reward is a picnic in a meadow.  YAY!   Sean and Des climb a tree and yell **** Canada!  They might have said hello, I'm not really sure.

They have their evening time in a teepee and this is when Desiree tells her sob story.  She was poor as a kid and they lived in a tent a few times.  But don't feel badly for her...they had love.  Lots and lots of love.  Des remarks that she shared her tent story and now she's falling in love in a teepee.  Des gets the rose.

At the rose ceremony, Selma defies her mother and kisses Sean.  She says she had to bring the big guns but I think she's had the big guns out for 6 episodes.  Lindsay and Sean have a deep conversation where she reveals that she sleeps naked.  Finally, we learn that two girls are going home!

Say goodbye to Danella and Selma.  We'll miss you Selma.

And then there were six and Sean says these are the six for him!  Until next week when he has to send someone home.  Speaking of next week...they are going to St. Croix to thaw out.

Tierra is on instagram....@truly_tierra.

Tierra, 24 from Denver. Instant connection with Sean, got first first impression rose, not here to make friends. Pushed herself up down the stairs. Likes to punch walls. Could get engaged anytime she wants. fakes hypothermia. 
AshLee, 32 from Houston.  6 flags date.  Likes to be blindfolded.
Lindsay, 24 teacher from Missouri.  Wore wedding dress. Helicopter one on one date. Likes to suck face.
Catherine, 26 from Seattle. small enough to sit on Seans lap. Fairy tale 1 on 1
Desiree, 26 from LA2nd one on one date, hit it off with Sean, prank was played on her. First one to see Sean's house. Can milk a goat. No gag reflex. Got a second 1 on 1.
Lesley M, 25 from D.C. Had connection with Sean at photo shoot. World Record holder for longest on-screen kiss.

Daniella, 24 from San Fran. cries for roses
Sarah, 26 from LA.  Has one arm, first one on one date, fell 35 stories.
Selma, 29 from San Diego. Rock climbing date. Has big guns.  Won't do THAT.
Jackie, 25 from FL. two on one date
Robyn, 24 from Houston. Did gymnastics and fell.
Kristy, 25 Model from WI.  Won the harlequin romance contest.
Amanda, 26 model from CA.  Off her meds.
Leslie H, from LA.  Asked Sean about liking black girls. Pretty Woman Date.
Taryn, 30 from OR.
Kacie, 25 from Ben's Season.  Out of the friend zone.  Convinced Katie to leave the show. Talks poop about others, goes home in a mini van.


  1. Poor Sarah...up a creek and can't even paddle...

  2. So thankful for you and these AMAZING recaps:) I woke up early this morning and tried to watch it before the kids woke up but ABC website went down during the ice castle scene. I will try later to watch the polar plunge because I could hear the audio of that part but not see the video and it was ridiculous ;) Poor Selma, momma is going to be mad for nothing! ;)

  3. Oh my gosh, I really have to start watching the Bachelor again, just for comedic value!

  4. I think I like your recaps better than I would like the show. :)

  5. Bet Selma's mama is going to kick her butt and tell her I told you so now.

  6. Last night's episode seriously exhausted me. Sean is definitely intellectually challenged. I've been looking to read your re-cap all day long! This has made my day. I love the analysis about the snow bus. ;P

    Sean seriously is leading on these remaining women and saying more than the other bachelors have in the past. If he doesn't get b*tch slapped by the end of the season, it will be a miracle!


  7. I feel bad for Selma, she is going to get her ass chewed! I know what Arab mama's are like & I can tell you that my hubs mama can give one look that would make you want to crawl in a whole and die... don't get me started if she decides to add in verbally what she thinks. All I can say is THANK GOD she loves me!!! :)

  8. Sean's all, "I don't wanna be made to look a fool." Well...keeping Tierrable makes him look foolish, but sending Sarah home BEFORE Tierrable is even worse!
    Selma....I feel sorry for her...sorta....but because she's not Tierrable I love her.

  9. I thought that this whole episode was a joke. Whoever is making up these dates is clearly off their rockers and I have to agree, it does seem like the show is trying to kill the girls off. Why on Earth would any man want to make a bunch of women jump in to a glacier-fed lake? I can’t really say that I blame Selma for not taking the plunge because I probably would have politely declined as well. I was talking to some of my co-workers here in my office at DISH about the frequency of injuries on the show and that every scene should probably have a paramedic in it just in case. I honestly don’t think I’ve ever seen so many people get injured on a reality show. Nonetheless I’m hooked for the rest of the season and I’ve got my DISH Hopper set to record The Bachelor while I’m at work. Thanks to the PrimeTime Anytime feature I don’t have to set any timers because it easily records everything in prime time on ABC seven days a week. I know that I’ll have all of my favorites available to me when I get home.


I love you. You are my best friend! Your hair looks fantastic today!