Tuesday, February 26, 2013

Bachelor Sean: BFF

ABC was nice enough to do a bit of a recap of all three ladies and their interactions with Sean.  I think I've figured out that some people don't start watching this show until it's down to the final three.

Lindsay is the first one to spend the day with Sean.  Last week she told him that she was falling in love and she is now prepared to tell him that she really is falling in love. They take a open-air motorcycle taxi thing to a market. Lindsay is in culture shock!  Sean convinces her to eat some deep fried bugs and then labels her adventurous.  I think this is a test to see if she'll eat gross things and is the kiss of death in Sean's relationships.  Look what happened to Des after she drank goats milk!   Sean says that he feels like they are high school sweethearts.  I don't know about you, but i made some shitty choices in high school.  Lindsay is the best friend that Sean has been looking for! YAY for best friends!

Sean takes Lindsay to Monkey Beach and they feed adorable little monkeys.  I was afraid this was going to be another test to get Lindsay to do something crazy. Sean tells us that Lindsay has it all and he takes her to dinner at a float park.  They are surrounded my floats made by temples for a parade.  Lindsay is about to finally tell Sean how she feels when the solid gold dancers come out and do a performance for them. Lindsay tells Sean that she's open to moving to Dallas and having his babies, she's excited for their life together to start...right after he's done appearing on Dancing with the Stars as a Faux-Celebrity. 

Lindsay get the fantasy suite card and races Sean to the room. Finally, she gets to tell him how she feels.

AshLee is in LOVE with Sean.  Her love for him is overwhelming and she's filled with joy.   Sean takes her on a boat ride that again, makes her step out of her comfort zone. He forces her to jump into the water and swim into a very dark cave while she says Oh My God ten times.  She is terrified.  Very, Very terrified.  She is also a back seat swimmer and questions whether or not Sean is going the right way.  They make it through and arrive in a beautiful lagoon.  AshLee tells us that it felt good to completely let go.  I call bullshit and I'm annoyed by her freakishly small calves.

Every single part of AshLee's being wants to be engaged. She tells Sean that she takes being engaged very seriously but she married her high school boyfriend at 17, so what's that all about?  Sean tries to find out why she's still single by telling her why he still is.  He explains that he was chasing his career.  She doesn't answer the question and instead reads the over night date card.  She tells him that she's a classy broad and that she doesn't want him crossing her boundaries.  Then she tells him what kind and size of ring she wants.   Sean also possesses magical powers and has healed her broken heart.

Sean meets up with Catherine on the beach and then leads her to a boat to sail around and drink wine.  I think this date is to make up for trying to freeze her to death in Canada.  Sean wonders if they have the same life goals. Catherine tells Sean that she can really be herself with him, they both agree that they compliment each other. They go snorkeling and then kiss in the rain.   They have dinner and Sean tells us that Catherine gets him more than anyone and he can see himself married to her.

He asks her where she sees them in 5 years and she says, married with a child and happy. He gives her the fantasy suite card and she's nervous about it.  He explains that he just wants to spend time alone with her.  She really, really wants to be with Sean.  I'm thinking Sean must be feeling really moist by now.  BECAUSE they swim in a pool together.

We see Sean getting ready for the rose ceremony and the camera has settled on his unzipped pants.  I cover my eyes!!  Sean has a talk with Chris and says he never pictured sending this person home.  Chris says this is the toughest week to go home.  I disagree.  Being left at the column thingy and told you are not the one is the toughest.  This is the week that the Bachelorette is chosen but GOOD LUCK with this one ABC.

Each woman has left Sean a final video message.  Lindsay and Catherine's are sweet and carefree, reminding him of their dates.  AshLee's message is the one you send right before you cook the bunny.

The rose ceremony is tense.  All of the ladies look amazing and AshLee brought out the big guns, her poor straps are straining to hold up her  boobs.  Lindsay gets the first rose.  Then....stressful music plays for 1 minute and 10 seconds (yes, i timed it) while Sean looks like he's passing another kidney stone.  He looks at the ceiling, he looks at the floor, he stars at the rose....and then says the name:  Catherine.

AshLee is glaring at Sean.  She walks away, toward the waiting SUV.  The girls look at each other and say, 'She didn't say goodbye.' Well, duh!  In the words of Tierra, she's not here to make friends!  She doesn't want to talk to Sean or hear his explanation.  She gets in the vehicle and it drives away while Sean sits on a bench with his head in his hands.

She says very little in her getaway car interview.  She mutters something about being a reject and she turns from the camera and cries.

Next week: The Women Tell All!  


  1. 1 minute and 10 seconds oh the suspense they try and build. I wonder if they tell him he ha to count to at least 60 and he is having difficulty counting- hence the look on his face ;)

  2. I CANNOT wait for the tell all!!! I hope they don't cut people off & show as much of it as they possibly can. Should make for some major drama. LOL

  3. Wow! I am not sure I want to watch it now....seems like a painful episode ;) I really loved Ashlee in the beginning but she has gotten crazier and crazier as the weeks have gone on. I am looking forward to next week too, I can't see Ashlee as the bachelorette though....hmmmmm.

  4. Okay, I was laughing at this review SO HARD and then this: AshLee's message is the one you send right before you cook the bunny.

    LOL'd for REALS.

    Also...I liked AshLee and thought he would be right for HER, but she might not be right for HIM.

  5. ROTFLMAOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! OMG this is the mest one yet. okay, anytime a guy says that they are like best friends, she isn't going to last.

    AshLee looked like she was going to shank a ho when she left. I was scared about what she might have been hiding in her cleavage.

    Catherine went from being frost-bitten in Canada to sun-burned in Thailand. And here's and idea....let's kiss next to a REALLY TALL MAST during an electrical storm. o_O

    I would never swim in a cave or eat a bug for love. never. Any man can go suck an elf it they expect me to do those things!

    Awesome re-cap, and I'm shocked because Catherine has come form out of nowhere from a really odd date.....

    Is it just me, or has this been a very weird season?

  6. People.com had spoilers this AM, but I wasn't even tempted to read, I knew you'd have me covered! You did not disappoint.

  7. Say what you will about AshLee, at least she has some iota of self respect. O wait, I forgot about the video... And the yelling I love you... And adopted adopted adopted


I love you. You are my best friend! Your hair looks fantastic today!