Tuesday, May 25, 2010

The Bachelorette Ali: All The Right Reasons

I've made an executive decision NOT to read spoilers or Reality Steve this season. I want to be surprised and I don't what to know all of the alleged shenanigans that are being done by the producers of the show. Knowing all of that stuff ruined the show for me last time.

The show started off recapping Ali's time on Jake's show and I was pleased to see that they didn't spend a lot of time on that. I'm so over Jake and I hope he and Vienna (gag) will be very happy together for the next couple months.

They showed Ali trying on clothes to wear on the show and I was thinking how incredible of an experience that must have been. Lucky girl!!  Ali admits that she's scared that she quit her job for this.  Me too, Ali....Me too.

Fashion Note: I'm in love with the long sweater that Ali wore in the beginning of the show. Love it!

For the meet and greet...Ali has selected a long black gown with an open back.  It's pretty...but it doesn't do anything for her figure and it's very long and she keeps having to pick it up to walk and navigate the stairs.  Keith, who decided to work from the living room tonight (but he is NOT watching the show...let's make this very clear) said that the dress didn't do anything for him.  I thought it made her look lumpy.

Ali tells us her new mantra: A life without love is a life without happiness!

We spent a long time meeting the bachelor's in their hometowns and some of them freak me out....like Frank, who quit a great job in Chicago to become a screenwriter and Kyle who is a outdoorsman from Colorado who likes to kill animals and fish.

Finally, it's time for the cocktail party.  Roberto thinks that Ali looks superfly, Kirk brought her a scrapbook of himself which Craig M (my least favorite) makes fun of. Kasey tells her that his Dad cheated on his Mom and Hunter sang her a song that he wrote.

Hi, I'm Shooter! 

Enter...Shooter!  His real name is Derrick and he's not a bad looking guy but he told her that his nickname is Shooter and he wants to explain that the reason is that he had some pre-ejaculation problems in College. Seriously?  You thought this was going to impress her?

Chris Harrison brings out the first impression rose and all of the guys freak out and realize how REAL this is.  They start scrambling to get Ali's attention and one on one time.

Roberto jumps at the chance and tells her all good things, happily married parents, owns his business and then he teaches her to salsa dance.  She thinks he's sexy!

Justin...the entertainment wrestles with the broken ankle reveals his shirt under his suit says RATED R on it.  This is also not very impressive....well, maybe if you are in your twenties.  I think it's stupid.

Craig R wants to warn Ali that Justin and maybe the weatherman are not here for the right reasons.  I'm not sure anymore what those reasons are.

Chris Harrison brings out a box and wants the guys to write the name or names of people that they think are not here for all of the right reasons.  There is a flurry of activity as the guys try to remember what Justin and Craig M's names are so they can write them on their cards.

The first impression rose goes to Roberto!  He made her feel comfortable and at ease and it doesn't hurt that he doesn't live at home with his parents.

Chris Harrison appears with the results of the vote and Justin received the overwhelming number of the votes.  Ali must now decide if she wants to keep him or not.  She gives him the rose....

Rose Ceremony!!

Jesse  24, General Contractor from MO.
Ty  31, Medical Sales from TN, loves his dog, great accent.
Craig R  27, Lawyer from PA, tattle tale.
Tyler V  25, Advertising from VT, seems shy.
Frank  31, Screenplay writer from IL, bold.
Chris L 33, Landscaper from Cape Cod, failed to tell Ali his Mom is dead.
Kirk  27, Salesman from WI, brought her a scrapbook, made a rose out of a hankie.
John C  32, Hotel Business from WA.
Chris N 29, Entrepreneur from FL, looks like Ryan Sutter.
Chris H 28, Real Estate Developer from Canada
Hunter  28, Account Executive from TX, sang song.
Craig M  34, Dental Salesman from Canada, bad boy, looks like Dean McDermott
Jonathan  30, Weatherman from TX.
Kasey  27, Account Executive from CA, Dad is an A-hole, looks like Jake.
Steve  28, Salesman from OH.
Justin  26, Entertainment Wrestler from Canada, voted most likely to be Wes, broken ankle, looks like the gardener from Desperate Housewives.
Roberto  26, Insurance Agent from SC, Salsa Dancer, happy parents, got 1st impression rose.

Derrick aka Shooter...ironically, he leaves...early!
Derek...brought her leaves to catch...but they were unlucky!
Jason...did a back flip off the roof of the limo, but it wasn't that impressive.
Jay...Lawyer who didn't really say much.  Said he would have sent himself home.
John...I suspect he is gay.
Kyle...back to the woods with you!
Tyler...told her he wore boots because she did on The Bachelor.  He had the wrong girl. 

See how much Craig M looks like Mr. Tori Spelling? 

I can't understand why so many of these guys have the same name.  Three of them named Chris and two Craigs.  How confusing!

I'm working on my Bachelorette Ali Drinking Game and will have it posted later today. It's ready now!

In other breaking reality show news....Kelly Killoren Bensimon is now following me on twittah. (that's how Mallory says it) I'm baffled really because I'm kind of Team Bethenney.

In other, other breaking news...my favorite author Jen Lancaster will be (or has been depending on your time zone) on The Today Show with Hoda and Kathie Lee today. YAY!!


  1. I love your bachelorette recaps! And I too am forcing myself not to read reality steve this season. It really does ruin it. Ummmm, and I fell asleep before finishing the episode last night (going to finish tonight) and I about died when you wrote why Shooter is named Shooter!!! did he really think that was nessasary? I would think that he would have avoided ever bringing up that nickname again? And I don't even understand how someone gets a nickname like that? did he go around telling his frat brothers that he.... I can't even finish the sentance! Should be an interested season! Hopefully I will be able to stand watching Ali for this long, she kind of annoys me. What I am really looking forward to is Big Brother!!!! :)

  2. While I really don't like the show, I LOVE your recaps. They are hilarious. And thanks for the pictures so I can keep up.

  3. Thanks! I"m so glad that you both like the recaps...they took me FOREVA to write because the kids wouldn't leave me the heck alone!

    @Michelle. I think it's very wise of us to NOT read spoilers. Shooter...oh my gosh. I wish I could get him number and school him on what is NOT right to say to a girl. NOT what you want to be known for. I like Ali...but she giggles too much.

    @Jennifer. I will post as many pics as I can.

  4. Thanks for posting this! I wanted to watch it - but then Matt came home and I felt silly :) (Maybe I'll tivo it and watch in secret...)

  5. Tried to post my comment on my iphone ... soo frustrating!! Goes to show that I definitely need an ipad! :o)

    Okay, holy crap. Girl ... I wish we lived next door to each other. I can't take these shows yet I can't stop watching!!

    The first guys they highlighted - a guy who lives with his parents, a player from Canada who thinks way too highly of himself, an insane hunter, a wrester (really??) and guys with terribly depressing sob stories. Was Vienna in charge of casting?

    I definitely don't want to be single again b/c clearly THERE ARE NO GOOD MEN LEFT!

    I am only half way through the episode (darn these Mom obligations!) but do any of the guys end up not seeming like total losers? Who is your favorite so far?

    As for her dress, it was way too long for her. At one point she looked like one of Cinderella's ugly step-sisters with the way she was holding the dress out in front of her. And when one wears a backless dress ... WEAR YOUR HAIR UP! The whole point was to see that skin and instead it's being covered up. Add that to a too long dress on a short girl ... frump city. I'm sure she'll dress cuter in the next episode. I still love Ali! (But quitting your job? She must be certain of a career in entertainment or something!)

    Gotta run! Love your recaps!

  6. I'm so glad to find other Bachelorette bloggers out there!!! I was furiously writing mine last night and was hoping to find others out there today -- SCORE!

    Great recap and can't wait to hear about the drinking game! (That alone made me a follower! LOL!)

  7. It looks like we can have another drinking game with whenever someone says, "Ali and mine relationship", "Ali and me,' etc. I think one percent of our population paid attention in English class.

  8. Love the recaps. I did not get to watch it. And I love the long sweater as well.

    Thanks for the hard work on the recaps!

  9. word up on the recap. I think creepy craig looks like a cross between Mr Spelling and Bradley Whitford (west wing)

    Those dudes like they were skeerd waiting for their rose.


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