Tuesday, January 3, 2012

The Bachelor: Like A Bad Dream

Once again, i've been peer pressured into watching and blogging The Bachelor.  Unfortunately....it doesn't take much to talk me into it because I enjoy a train wreck as much as anyone.  The only problem is that I really want to like Ben....but I'm not really there yet.

We start off meeting several of the ladies, one of which lives in Nebraska, brags about eating bull testicles and shoots guns.  If that doesn't scream WIFE MATERIAL then I don't know what does.

We watch Ben in his new fabulous life living in San Francisco and working in Sonoma.  He talks about how he has clarity now and he's discovered himself.  He's a new man.....wait, where have I heard this before?  Oh yes, ABC is re-using Brad's old script to save money.

Ben is ready to meet the ladies but first he sees a hummingbird that Chris Harrison has planted in the bushes.  It's a SIGN!

One of the first ladies he meets is a blogger from NYC named Jenna.  She tries to quote his famous last words from his break up with Ashley and she messes it up.  She realizes she should have just said Hi.

Good things don't end unless they end badly.
Several ladies bring props.  One wears a sash from a beauty contest, another wears a giant hat that she later makes Ben try on, another brings her Grandma and then......one rides in on a horse.

Ben tells Rachel (who quit her job to be here) that he's looking for love...not a wife.

Nikki is like a jack russell terrier.  All bubbles and energy.  Ben says he likes it. 

Some of the gals are dissing on the people that brought a gimmick.  And a grandma.  I think they are just jealous that they didn't think of it first.

As usual, the appearance of the first impression rose drives people to drink and start acting stupid.

The girls that have no conversational skills start making Ben doing stupid things like push ups, dancing and playing soccer outside.    One girl decides to blindfold Ben and make him guess what she is feeding him.

Emily, the Ph.d student decides to rap for Ben.  I actually really liked this gal's introduction.  She gave him some hand sanitizer and breath spray and then got the first kiss.  Very clever!

Jenna and Monica are sitting next to each other and talking about their feelings for Ben.  Jenna is smitten and Monica feels nothing and appears to be here for a free California vacation and who can blame her because Salt Lake City is pretty dull this time of year.

Monica shows her true colors and they have bully written all over them.  Jenna is taking her smiling and laughing personally and runs off to cry.  We hear Monica threaten to cut someone's face off if they cross her.

Next thing we know, Monica is making googly eyes at Blakeley on the couch.  She tells her that she's beautiful and they are going to be in each other's lives forever.  My crazy person radar is going off!!

Rachel decided to patch things up between the two since they are obviously going to be on the show for a while.  Drama = Roses people.  Things don't really go well and Jenna tries to offer an olive branch in the form of a tampon.   Monica doesn't accept and walks away.

Jenna spends a good amount of time having a breakdown in the bathroom which guarantees her a rose tonight.  Note to Jenna: You are miked and every single thing you say in the bathroom is recorded.

The first impression rose goes to Horse girl.  I think her name is Lindzi with a Z.


Kacie B
Casey S

Series previews: 

There is an ex-girlfriend that comes back for Ben and someone is described as The Black Widow.  Looks like lots of drama and crazy girls! 

I think it's going to be a great season!

I'm working on a drinking game......stay tuned!


  1. Love the absurd word-bubbles. So juvenile. Sooooo funny.

  2. Yay. Full of crazy makes for the best recaps.

  3. Perfect recap. My thoughts EXACTLY!

  4. I'm convinced that ABC has it written in their contracts that they get to choose x number of people who must stay. Therefore Monica and Jenna stayed. Not so sure they would have otherwise.

  5. A friend in Cali knows that Jacyln girl....sounds like she is full of drama but they didn't show the full crazy the first night. I can't wait to catch her on instant messenger to get the scoop!

  6. I'll only watch if you make a drinking game. and I'll make the hubs join too. details please.

  7. I love me a good reality show train wreck (i.e., Real Housewives of Bev Hills), but I tried to watch The Bachelor once and was so utterly disgusted by the women that I turned it off after 15 minutes. They make the Housewives look classy.

  8. Love the recap! Is it chocolate? Or poop? :o)

    Is this show always 2 hours long? I watched the first episode just out of curiosity, but I don't think I can commit to 2 hours every Monday. :o)

  9. I'm so glad you're blogging about this. Hilarious! I'm not seeing the appeal of Ben myself. Other than the wine. But I watch, because I'm addicted.

  10. I couldn't help myself and watched the premiere too. Your commentary was so amusing...and you are so spot on with the whole Jenna-Monica drama. When she said she was going to cut someone's face off, I was like, "Oh, they already have this season's psycho pegged."

    Looking forward to reading next week's update from you! It's actually more entertaining than the show itself...heehee!

  11. Yea! Now I won't even have to watch it I can just read your recaps. Try to include pictures at some point with names so I can put a face with all the crazies ;)

  12. Love it! That show drives me crazy... and yet I'm drawn to it like a car wreck. CANNOT. LOOK. AWAY.

  13. Oh I missed this post! Craziness at its best! I can't wait to watch all the drama unfold!! (Only b/c it's not MY drama!)

    Drinking game? Yes please!

  14. OK, so I haven't watched any Bachelor/Bachelorette shows since the very first ones - have ANY of them ever ended in long-lasting relationships (i.e. happily married)? If not, why do they keep doing this? Although I have to say your commentary is amusing!

  15. Alright - I'm disappointed in myself for having just now read your first week review. As always you deliver the goods.

    I will also admit that I've spoiled myself this season because I just don't like Ben...but it's not The Bachelor I'm watching for, it's the trainwrecks that happen along the way that I want to see.

    I'm Team Monica - Jenna is the crazy person! She's the one that took one comment that had nothing to do with her personally and then went and sobbed about it for an hour in the bathroom. Not to mention the tampon comment. Ick.

    Can't wait to see the drinking game!


I love you. You are my best friend! Your hair looks fantastic today!