The Bachelor Ben: No Crying In Baseball

The ladies travel to Puerto Rico and are staying at a beautiful resort and spa. Emily is distracted by Courtney but is able to translate the first date card that arrived because it was written in spanish.  The card goes to Nicki and it says, Let's find a new love in old San Juan.

Courtney is still seething about Emily and says that when you get on her shit list...you are dead to her.

A helicopter arrives that whisks Ben and Nicki away to tour the island.  Nicki's voice is super annoying and Ben is anxious to see if they click.  They are supposed to do some shopping and sight seeing but it enormous rain storm strikes and they have to run through the village.

Their clothing is soaked so they go shopping for new dry clothes.  They decided to pick authentic island duds and Ben ends up in an all white outfit complete with plastic shoes and a hat.  Nicki chooses a red and blue table cloth.

They end up in front of a wedding chapel and talk about Nicki's failed marriage.  Nicki says that she wants to shack up with her next victim husband before marriage. Nicki thinks she deserves a second chance.  Ben thinks she was just really young and gives her the rose because she was honest with him.

The group date card said, Diamonds are a Girls Best Friend.  They all think that they're getting jewelry and are disappointed to find out that they are going to play baseball.  They are split into two teams (and Lindzi gets to be on both) and will play each other for the chance to go to a beach party with Ben.  The losing team goes back to the hotel. 

The game is cutthroat and exciting.  It comes down to one out and Jennifer blows it.  The Red Team wins!  Blakeley takes this really badly and is chewing her team out.  Jennifer looks like she wants to run away. A helicopter arrives to take the red team away and Blakeley yells at them that she hopes they all get sick.

The beach party is a huge success!  Everyone is mostly getting along and Courtney is only talking about people behind their backs.  Ben tells Kacie B that all of the women he's loved....haven't loved him back and he gives her the rose because he feels like she really listens to him.  Courtney immediately takes him away and starts talking about skinny dipping. Ben seems uncomfortable.

The 1 on 1 date card is for Elyse and it says, Let's find love somewhere private.  They end up on a yacht where Elyse tries to explain what a catch she is because she's done lots of stuff.  She admits that she is one of the girls that was dumb enough to give up their job in this economy so that she could go on the show.  At dinner, she explains that she's sick of being single and Ben decides this would be the perfect time to throw her back into the sea.  He tells her she isn't what he's looking for and then he walks her to the dingy of shame.   The girls freak out when her luggage is removed.

The removal of Elyse makes Courtney so happy and she describes the moment as bittersweet and shares that she feels like a million bucks.  And then she hatches an evil little plan to stalk Ben outside of his hotel room, roofie his wine and then lead him into the surf without his underwear.  The cameras didn't show it....but based on Ben's comments, I think Courtney forced herself on him.  Courtney tried to reason with him that you're only in Puerto Rico once....or in her case, twice.

Cocktail Party

A whole lot of nothing goes on during the party.  Then....Emily tells Ben that she made a mistake by talking about Courtney and that she's hardly thought about her at all this week.  Then she explains again how she feels about Courtney.  Ben tells her to drop it.

And the roses go to: (in the order that I like them)

Kacie B (from Tennessee, old fashioned, got first one on one date, baton twirler)
Emily (Ph.d student from N. Carolina, performed a rap, climbed Bay Bridge, can't stop talking about Courtney)
Lindzi (from Seattle, rode a horse and got first impression rose, drives a F350 diesel, had night SFO date)
Nicki (divorced, dental hygienist from TX, bubbly, date in Puerto Rico)
Jaime (dadless nurse from NY, doesn't like Courtney)
Rachel (fashion rep from NYC, quit her job, chill, doesn't open up, date in Park City on a lake)
Casey S. (Courtney's friend)
Blakeley (VIP cocktail waitress from N. Carolina, made out with Monica the first night, sucked face with Ben on group date, giant forearm tattoo, likes to color hair)
Courtney (Super Model from LA, mean to other girls, too good to be true, winning, verbally abusive, caught a fish, took Ben skinny dipping)

No Rose For You!
Jennifer (Redhead from OK, really likes Ben, very jealous of Blakeley, best kisser in the house, date in Park City with Clay Walker)
Elyse (personal trainer from Chicago, made Ben do push ups, sent home in the dingy of shame)

NEXT WEEK: 
The ladies and Ben go to Panama.  Casey S gets some bad news.

I Love Cable TV

I'm linking up with Impulsive Addict and Seriously Shawn for Talk To Us Tuesday.  There are no rules! Join us.

I am loving having cable.

The fact that I can record all of my shows while watching TV with my husband has been life changing!  Now...instead of spending hours in my desk chair watching TV, I  can now sit in the living room watching TV.  I also don't have to pay for Bravo episodes anymore.

I've had cable for 4 days and I'm already addicted to a show.  It's called Property Brothers.  Have you seen this?  Twin brothers, Jonathan and Drew show people their dream home and then dash their dreams when the home is out of their price range.  Then they show them TWO homes that belong to hoarders/people that just skipped town and encourage them to buy one of them with the promise that Jonathan (the licensed contractor) can fix it up and make it their dream home!

source

I like what they come up with and the reveal is always very inspiring but I really love to see what shithole they come up with for these people to look at.  And on the last episode that I watched...there was a bidding war for the shithole!

These two are also very good looking.  I like looking at them.

So yesterday, I sat down with the remote and fell into a giant hole of Kardashian.  I have a question.  Does E play Kardashian shows 24/7?  Should we change the name to Kardashian TV?

I'm not a fan of the Kardashian family.  I think they are celebrities with no reason to be celebrities.  With that said....I really like Chole and Kumar.  Wait, is that his name?   Anyway, I've seen a couple episodes of their show and it was slightly entertaining.

Yesterday, I got sucked in.  I watched 4 episodes of Kourtney and What's Her Face Disgrace New York.  This is not the real title.  I can't remember what it's called.

So.....I'm guessing that The Hump and Kim are already married in the episodes that I've watched because Kim keeps flashing her ring.  Having watched these 4 episodes, I can completely understand why Kim's married didn't last.

The Hump married Kim and then moved into a HOTEL with her sister, her drunk ass husband and a toddler.  What the heck?  Why can't they get their own apartment?  Or hotel room?  Then, The Hump isn't allowed to have any friends over.  Seriously?  He's not a child.  He had a life before Kim.  THEN, The Hump gets a paid gig making an appearance in Toronto.  But then....he gets in trouble for going, when she was on a trip with her sister anyway.  THEN she runs off to Dubai for no reason.

No wonder The Hump was acting out and Kim wants to divorce him.  The Hump should be as happy as a pig in shit that he doesn't have to deal with her crap anymore.  If this is how she treats her husband....she has no business being married to anyone.

Also....the story line of Kourntey becoming a crazy coupon lady and buying tons of toilet paper and mayo when they live in a HOTEL and never cook?  It was ridiculous.

So tell me......what is your favorite cable show that I should be watching?

Bachelor Ben Drinking Game: Week 5

I'll admit. This week's drinking game is designed to get you naked wasted. I want all of you to be hung over with me tomorrow. WINNING!

Take a small sip of your drink when:

• Someone complains about Courtney.
• Courtney takes her clothes off.
• Ben does something stupid.
• Someone cries.
• Someone risks their life on a date.
• Someone threatens bodily harm. Finish your drink if it's Courtney.
• If someone pretends to speak spanish. 
• Someone says *winning*.

• Someone laughs maniacally.  Finish your drink if it's Courtney.
• Someone says the word *ball*

• Ben wears white.
• Someone talks about their *journey*.
• Someone says they have a *connection* with Ben. 
• Someone you don't like gets a rose.  Finish your drink if it's Courtney. 

When Bloggers Become Friends

I've been blogging since July 2007. 

When I started, my daughter was just a few months old and I'd been living in Utah for almost a year without making any friends.

I was heavily dependent on my imaginary friends that lived in my computer.

Early on....I met my soul mate.

We found each other because we both posted our menus for the week on our blogs.  We became fast friends and found that we had so much more in common.  We're both very organized and crafty, we both love a good drink and we both love to eat.  We're also both damn cute.

Over the years, she's become one of my best friends.  She's been the shoulder I needed to cry on and even offered to adopt me.  I was the first  and only person that she told that she was trying to get pregnant and I was the first person to know when that test was positive!  

Jessica came to Colorado last week to visit her family and she and her little boy came to Denver to see me....and meet MY family!

I'm so happy that the internet and blogging has helped me make so many wonderful friends!

Thank you Jessica for being one of those people.

Proud Mommy Moments: You're Beautiful

I'm linking up with Emmy Mom and Kmama today for Proud Mommy Moments. Has your kid done or said anything funny or embarrassing this week? Link up!

I love getting together with my Kinder Mom friends because we are all very involved in the classroom and I get to hear great stories about Alex.

My friend Jennifer worked with him on making a snowman the other day and she reported to me that he looked up at her with dreamy eyes and told her she was looking really beautiful.

She told me that it was so sweet that I'm raising a very nice boy.

I didn't have the heart to tell her that this is his new thing now...he's also told the lady in the drive thru at Wendy's that she's beautiful.

Jennifer also told me that she asked Alex if he watched the Bronocs. He said....Oh yes, we have to watch or my Daddy will scream like a little girl!

It's also worth noting here that for the first 3 home games of the season, my kids thought their Dad played for the Denver Broncos. He has season tickets and we would say he was going to the game. Then I'd watch it on TV and tell the kids to look for him. Finally....Mallory asked me what color uniform he was wearing.

Hey!  I'm talking about beauty resolutions on my fitness blog and BlogHer is having a contest with a Kindle Fire as a prize.  Come check it out!

Honey Badger Does Care

about his cuticles.

A couple updates:

*I escaped from my family on Saturday and discovered a great coffee shop with a cute owner. 

*I'm getting an upgrade to my cable package AND a DVR tomorrow. 

*The same day I found out that I couldn't have DirecTV I got a notice that my lease was up soon.  I thought it was a sign that I was supposed to move but my budget has other ideas so I'm not moving.  This news spun me into a depression that only time with my friend Denise could cure. *see first bullet point*

*I missed this month's PTA meeting because iKeith didn't come home on time.  My stuff doesn't matter.

*After watching an episode of Private Practice, I've decided to become a surrogate to the gays.  I'm really good at being pregnant and the hours are great.  Then maybe my husband will shut up about me getting a job.

*I got together with my Kindergarten mom's last night for a P(minus T) A Meeting and it was so much fun! We did a toast to Obama for making sure that I didn't miss any of my Tuesday night shows.

*I have a meeting with my son's teachers next week.  He's not keeping up with the rest of the class and I'm scared.

*I registered Mallory for Kindergarten yesterday.  There are 204 days until school starts. 

*There are 98 days until my beach trip to California.

*I need more coffee.

Bachelor Ben: Winning in Park City

Week four of The Bachelor brings the ladies to Park City Utah! It's a beautiful place and appears to be fall.

 The first date card goes to Rachel and it says let's let nature take it's course.

Ben arrives to retrieve Rachel and they fly off in a helicopter. This sends poor Kacie B into a tailspin of dispair. She just can't believe that her boyfriend is dating someone else.

Ben is anxious to get to know Rachel because she is mellow and easy going. The helicopter lands near a lake and they get into a canoe. They don't seem to have much to say to each other besides how clean the air is and how calm the water is. The most exciting thing that happens is when Ben points out a beaver dam.

At dinner, Rachel explains that she has trouble opening up and this makes him so happy that he gives her a rose.

The group date card arrived during the super boring lake date and it says let's see if you're a great catch? Ben is very excited about this date because he loves the great outdoors.

The girls all pretend to be excited to see the hip waders on the edge of the river. They are told that they are going to be fly fishing and just like last week...Ben is the only instructor. Courtney says that she is going to turn this into a one on one date and lures Ben downstream. Lindzi tries to break in right as Courtney catches a fish.

They all change clothes and get some drinks. Ben is wearing a hoodie and flip flops while the ladies are all wearing dresses. He tells Casey S that he's been in love 4 times. Nicki thanks him for all of the group dates and then they bond over dead friends.

Samantha decides to use her time complaining about being on all group dates and thinks she deserves a one on one. Ben tells her that she hasn't been behaving well enough on the dates to get one on one time and that she's highly emotional. And then he tells her that things aren't going to work out and she should leave.

The next date card goes to Jennifer and it says something about picking their love song.

Kacie B gets some one on one time in Ben's room. They keep talking about how hard it is and he says that he wanted to kiss her in the river which sounds really dirty to me.

Courtney gets some time with Ben in the fireplace room. She tells him that she's having such a hard time and complains about how Lindzi interrupted their time in the river. Her poor me act works and Ben goes to get the rose to give to her. She looks into the camera and says WINNING. It's so unfortunate that Courtney didn't realize that WINNING would be so 2011 and the catch phrase of assholes.

Jennifer's date with Ben involves hiking in her tennis shoes, jumping a fence with a NO TRESPASSING sign and going into a crater that is covered with a cage to keep people out. Something tells me all of this danger isn't turning Jennifer on. They drop into a pool of warm water that doesn't appear to have a way out and kiss. Oh so romantic!

Later they ride a ski lift up the mountain and have dinner. There is lightening and thunder which is never a good sign in Utah. Ben wants to know about her relationship history and she says she had a long term love that refused to marry her. Ben says he needs someone who is independent and flexible because he never knows what's going to happen in his line of work. It rains and Jennifer gets the rose. They take a tram back down and walk upon a concert. It's Clay Walker! I actually do know who Clay Walker is.

Cocktail Party

Ben thinks his wife is in the room. Courtney feels like a bomb is about to go off and Jennifer likes the feeling of having a rose already. Emily decides to talk to Ben about how Courtney is different with him than the girls. Then talks to Casey S about what she said to Ben not realizing that she is friends with Courtney.

Casey S runs to Courtney and tells her what Emily said and then taunts Emily. Courtney says she's done being nice and then says she'd like to shave Emily's eyebrows off while she sleeps.

I have no idea where this picture came from....it wasn't included in the show last night.

And the roses go to: (in the order that I like them)

Kacie B (from Tennessee, old fashioned, got first one on one date, baton twirler)
Jennifer (Redhead from OK, really likes Ben, very jealous of Blakeley, best kisser in the house, date in Park City with Clay Walker)
Emily (Ph.d student from N. Carolina, performed a rap, climbed Bay Bridge)
Lindzi (from Seattle, rode a horse and got first impression rose, drives a F350 diesel, had night SFO date)
Nicki (divorced, dental hygienist from TX, bubbly)
Jaime (dadless nurse from NY, doesn't like Courtney)
Elyse (personal trainer from Chicago, made Ben do push ups)
Rachel (fashion rep from NYC, quit her job, chill, doesn't open up, date in Park City on a lake)
Casey S. (Courtney's friend)
Blakeley (VIP cocktail waitress from N. Carolina, made out with Monica the first night, sucked face with Ben on group date, giant forearm tattoo, likes to color hair)
Courtney (Super Model from LA, mean to other girls, too good to be true, winning, verbally abusive, caught a fish)

 NO ROSE FOR YOU!
Monica (mean girl from Utah, likes girls, misses her dog, has a tramp stamp)
Samantha (cute blonde from CA, wore a sash the first night, hates Blakeley and group dates)

NEXT WEEK:  The ladies are going to Puerto Rico which Courtney just visited two months ago. *connie rolls her eyes* It looks like Courtney is going to take her clothes off for Ben.

Bachelor Ben Drinking Game: Week 4

Week 4 and the ladies and Ben are headed to Park City Utah!   I've visited Park City when I lived in Utah and it's a lot of fun. 

Take a sip of your drink when:

• A band appears.  Finish your drink if you've never heard of the band.
• Someone risks their life while on a date.
• Someone threatens bodily harm.
• Someone cries.  
• It rains. 
• Someone says *winning*
• Ben shows the ladies his rod. Finish your drink if you thought it was something dirty.

• Someone says they are *falling for Ben*
• Everytime Courtney says something mean.
• Everytime someone tells Ben about *drama* in the house.
• If you think the next picture is sexy.

I GET TO See The Book of Mormon

UPDATE:  The original title of this post was....I WISH I COULD SEE THE BOOK OF MORMON.  Thanks to Eric Nelson who posted a direct link to a ticket order page....I just got my Book of Mormon BALCONY tickets.  I'm so excited!! 

I just tried to buy tickets to see The Book of Mormon at  Denver Center Attractions*. The tickets went on sale to the general public at 10am. I was ready at 9:30....

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Before the clock even struck 10am...their website crashed and their phone lines where all tied up.

I saw on twitter that people started lining up last night.


I told iKeith that it would probably be easier (but not cheaper) to just go to New York City and see the musical on Broadway.  I'd actually prefer that.


I think we'll stay here at The Belvedere Hotel.

We'll have dinner at Plataforma Churrascaria Rodizio (that's Brazilian for lots of meat).  And we'll have belgium waffles at The Red Flame Grill on our way to the airport!

Our imaginary trip is going to be great!


*I'd love to link to Denver Center Attractions but it's 10:53am and their website is still inoperable.

Unboxing the December GoGo Girlfriend Box

I got my GoGo Girlfriend December 2011 box today. Yep. It's January 20th. Not happy about that.

Anyway, enjoy watching me unbox and discover the treasures that my box contained.

Bummer

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I'm really bummed.

The DirecTV guy was just here to install my dish but he can't because my stupid apartment faces the wrong direction. I told the salesman at Best Buy that this was going to happen and he said that they could make it work.

Now, I have to listen to my son cry when he gets home from school because we won't have Nick Jr like I told him we would.

MAN!! I wish I could move.....

Bachelor Ben: Who's That Girl?

Ben is very excited to take the ladies to his hometown of San Francisco.  Wait a minute....I thought Sonoma was his hometown.  How many hometowns does this guy have?

He meets with his sister and tells her about some of the gals and which ones his Mom is going to like.  Blakeley, the VIP stripper waitress is not on this list.  But the faux version of Courtney is.

Chris Harrison welcomes the ladies to their beautiful suite and hands out the first one-on-one date card.  This one goes to Emily and it says Love Lift Us Up.  She immediately starts questioning what this means and also if she's going to pee her pants.  If ABC has anything to do with it....the answer is YES.

Emily soon finds out that her date envolves climbing to the top of the Bay Bridge which is going to be interesting because she is afraid of heights and so is Ben.

Back at the suite, a producer tells Jennifer where to find the couple while she's looking through the telescope.  Everyone gathers around and gets upset over why they can't be the one risking their life and bonding with Ben over crapping their pants.

Halfway up the bridge, Emily freaks out and Ben decides the only way to get her to keep going it to kiss her.  This gives her the super human strength to finish the climb and wrap herself around Ben at the top.

At dinner later, Emily reveals that she hasn't had much luck with dating and that match.com matched her up with her brother.  Emily gets the rose along with Champagne and fireworks.

Bucket Lists are so 2011

The group date card says something about a leap list which is apparently the new bucket list.  This date is also a commercial for the new Honda CRV.  The girls are going skiing on fake snow in the middle of San Francisco on a 85 degree day.   My husband is very nervous while watching this part and is concerned that someone is going to get hurt.  Around this time, we discover that Kacey B has never skied before.  ABC didn't provide an instructor and she is now going down the hill backwards.

Luckily, they are all medicated with fruity drinks in carved out pineapples and get to put real clothes on.  Rachel leied Ben and tells him how cool and chill she is.  Kacey B takes him for a walk.

Back at the suite, another date card arrives and it's for Brittney.  Instead of being excited about her date, she is disappointed and says that something doesn't feel right.  She tells Emily that these circumstances are not for her and she needs to leave.  Now!

She packs her ONE small suitcase and goes downstairs to find Ben and dump him on national television.  I think she's leaving because she realized she forgot to bring foundation....and a brush.

Meanwhile, Blakeley forgot to wear her shirt and is crying that everyone hates her.  Rachel gets the rose for opening up her mouth to him.

San Fran at Night formerly known as The Key To The City

Lindzi gets the date that Brittney rejected and gets to ride around San Francisco, at night, in a Trolly Car.  They stop for ice cream and cruise around China Town.  Ben takes her to city hall and he has the key to the front door.  They sneak through the building with flashlights and come across a band I don't recognize singing a song I've never heard before.  They dance and hug and kiss!

Next, Ben takes her to a speak easy where he has to give a password at a secret door.  He takes her into a secret room behind a book case and asks her why she is still single.  She retells her story about some asshat that broke up with her after a year and a half by text message.  She tells him that she doesn't need a man to complete her.

Ben takes her to a piano store so he can play the only song he knows.  Lindzi gets the rose.

Meanwhile, Chris Harrison is getting phone calls from someone that is coming to crash the party and profess her feelings for Ben.

Cocktail Party

Courtney makes a toast to a drama free evening and then decides to insult everyone that she can.  I've decided that she has the emotional maturity of a 15 year old girl.   She is snarky, sarcastic and instead of using someone's name...she calls them whatsherbutt.

Jennifer gets some time with Ben and uses it to tell him how much she likes him.  He returns the favor and says that she is the best kisser in the house.  Jennifer thinks she is falling in love.

Shawntel (funeral director from Brad's season) walks in like she owns the place and everyone is freaking out and asking Who's That Girl?  Finally, a producer tells someone recognizes her and this just fuels the flames.  Several of the girls are calling her names, crying and threatening to leave while Shawntel pours her heart out to Ben.

She wants to stay for the rose ceremony and compete for a chance at dating him.  Ben asks the girls to be gracious and welcoming but we all know that isn't going to happen.

Courtney stomps off saying that this is wack and is upset with Ben for not shutting this down and turning her away.  She says she will leave if Shawntel gets the rose.

And the roses go to: (in the order that I like them)

Kacie B (from Tennessee, old fashioned, got first one on one date, baton twirler)
Jennifer (Redhead from OK, really likes Ben, very jealous of Blakeley, best kisser in the house)
Emily (Ph.d student from N. Carolina, performed a rap, climbed Bay Bridge)
Lindzi (from Seattle, rode a horse and got first impression rose, drives a F350 diesel, had night SFO date)
Nicki (divorced, dental hygienist from TX, bubbly)
Samantha (cute blonde from CA, wore a sash the first night, hates Blakeley)
Jaime ( dadless nurse from NY, doesn't like Courtney)
Elyse (personal trainer from Chicago, made Ben do push ups)
Rachel (fashion rep from NYC, quit her job, chill)
Casey S. (?????)
Monica (mean girl from Utah, likes girls, misses her dog, has a tramp stamp)
Blakeley (VIP cocktail waitress from N. Carolina, made out with Monica the first night, sucked face with Ben on group date, giant forearm tattoo.)
Courtney (Super Model from LA, mean to other girls, too good to be true, winning, verbally abusive)

No Rose...going home!

Brittney (Sales rep from CO, brought her Grandma, went home)
Jaclyn (?????)
Erika (law student from Chicago, passed out during rose ceremony, has a tattoo on the inside of her mouth)
Shawntel (contestant from Brad's season, funeral director)

NEXT WEEK:  Park City Utah! 

Bachelor Ben Drinking Game: Week 3

If you're going to San Francisco be sure to wear some flowers in your hair.

I'm listening to my San Fran Mixed Tape Playlist while making up this week's drinking game.  I went to San Francisco in June 2010 with my husband and I fell in love with the city.  I'm hoping at least one of these ladies feels that way about Ben by the end of this episode.

Take a sip of your drink when:

• Blakeley forgets to wear a shirt under her blazer.
• Ben gets laid leied.
• A band appears.
• Someone passes out at the rose ceremony.
• Someone risks their life on a date.
• Someone threatens bodily harm.
• A former bachelorette vies for Ben's attention.
• ABC buys fake snow.
• Someone cries.
• A cable car appears.
• Anyone talks about going home. Finish your drink if she leaves!
• Someone complains about Courtney. 

Staying Inspired

I miss Oprah.

Luckily, I don't have to miss her much longer because we're getting DirecTV on Wednesday!

Since she started her new cable channel, I've had to get my little bursts of inspiration from O Magazine.  Thanks to O Magazine....I'm having more sex.

In February's issue of O Magazine they are celebrating creativity and asked four people to answer a few questions.  I decided to answer them here since I consider myself to be very creative.

Feel free to answer these questions on your own blog or in the comment section...I'd love to hear your answers.

I'm most creative when.....it's cold outside and I just want to hunker down and be a homebody.  I'm also very creative when I'm thinking about my children's birthday parties.  I love a good party!

If I were a color, I'd be....turquoise blue.  It's a bright happy color that compliments so many other colors.

I often imagine myself.....writing in a bright kitchen with large windows, it's practically a premonition.

I really wish I knew how to.....knit.

I'd love to spend a lazy Sunday....lounging in bed with the newspaper, CBS Sunday Morning and lots of coffee.  Writing in a my journal and watching sappy romcom movies while my family makes me breakfast in bed....eggs benedict!  Then taking a long walk without a jacket.  Sit on the patio with a cold beer and my husband while the kids play with a giant pink ball.

My secret talent is....hand sewing squares of fabric into a quilt.  The patterns come to me in dreams.....


Disclaimer: O Magazine didn't pay me to write about them....I just enjoy sharing things I love with my friends.

One Of These Places Is Not Like The Other

I have been in the worst mood this week.  I blame January and all of it's super long days and cold bitter winds.  It's so bad that I left the house yesterday in yoga pants and a pony tail!  THE HORROR!

The only good thing is that I have TWO trips to California to look forward to.  Yes, I'm a lucky girl!

One of my trips is with my 6 best friends to this location.

photo credit

My second trip one month later is to this location.

my in laws house

photo credit

I'm sure you can guess which one I'm daydreaming about??

Are you dreaming about a vacation you are taking this year? Find a picture of it and LINK UP with R We There Yet Mom? !

The Bachelor Ben: The Legend of Prince Pinot

The ladies all head to Sonoma so that they can see Ben's home town.

Kacie B, who is super adorable and real, gets the first date card but her date doesn't start until nightfall.  They walk around town....do some shopping, he teaches her to play the piano and she teaches him to twirl a baton.  They have dinner and talk about their lives.  I can really see these two together and having kids. Kacie gets the rose.

DING DONG!  Group date card arrives.

Ben has a surprise for Kacie. He takes her to an empty theater and home movies from their childhood are playing on the screen. Video of Ben and his Dad playing together and Ben buck ass naked as a kid. They are both in tears. What a downer!

Group Date Theatrics

In order to discover who is good with children, the ladies are forced to audition for a play that is cast and written by the children of the town. Ben is also in the production and is cast has Prince Pinot from the Land of Bachelorville. It should be noted that Blakeley is wearing a very inappropriate low cut, striped romper. Her *jugs* are all over the place. Monica is cast as the big, bad fire breathing dragon which I found ironic.

They end up performing for an audience and the play is actually very funny and one of the ladies blows Ben's clothes off (as he's dressed as a sheep).

They head over to a wrap party and Blakeley decides that she is going in for the kill and it's highly irritating to the other ladies. This makes Samantha so upset that she hides in the bathroom and fumes.

DING DONG....Date Card.

One on One date card goes to Courtney who just finished insulting Lindzi by telling her that her first impression rose actually went to the horse she rode in on.  Courtney rubs her good luck in everyone's face.

Back at the party....Jennifer gets some alone time with Ben and they make out.  With tongue.  Five minutes later he is making out with Blakeley while Jennifer and some blonde that I can't identify are watching.  Jennifer cries because he's kissing someone else.  HELLO! YOU ARE ON THE BACHELOR!  Blakeley gets the rose for making the most of her time with Ben.  Blakeley can't figure out why everyone gets up and leaves when she walks into the room.

Dog Day Date

Ben brings his dog on his date with Courtney and she describes him as HOT (drink).  Ben is hot...not the dog.  He walks her into the woods and asks if she can handle the slow pace of small town life.  She lies to his face and says she loves the woods because it's so peaceful.  They have a picnic by the river and Courtney complains that she's so pretty that no one wants to date her.  Ben describes her as the total package and too good to be true.  He thinks that she has a winning (drink) personality and their time together feels natural and easy.   Courtney gets the rose.

Cocktail Party

Ben tells everyone that he had a great time in Sonoma. 

Blakeley keeps interrupting everyone's alone time with Ben and the ladies are getting very upset.  They are talking about her and she's noticing that everyone stops talking when she walks into the room so she goes into the luggage room and sits in the corner.

Ben asks to talk to Jenna and she completely blows her time with him by babbling on and on about not being a real girl.  I'm convinced that she has no social skills and a drinking problem.   Jenna goes to bed and cries herself to sleep.

Ben goes around the house collecting up all of the unstable women that are hiding in bed and in corners so that they can have a rose ceremony.

And the roses go to:

Kacie B (from Tennessee, old fashioned, got first one on one date)
Blakeley (VIP cocktail waitress from N. Carolina, made out with Monica the first night, sucked face with Ben on group date, giant forearm tattoo.)
Courtney (Super Model from LA, mean to other girls, too good to be true, winning)
Jennifer (Redhead from OK, really likes Ben, very jealous of Blakeley)
Emily (Ph.d student from N. Carolina, performed a rap)
Elyse (personal trainer from Chicago, made Ben do push ups)
Jaclyn (?????)
Erika (law student from Chicago)
Rachel (fashion rep from NYC, quit her job)
Lindzi (from Seattle, rode a horse and got first impression rose, drives a F350 diesel)
Nicki (divorced, dental hygienist from TX, bubbly)
Casey S. (?????)
Samantha (cute blonde from CA, wore a sash the first night, hates Blakeley)
Monica (mean girl from Utah, likes girls, misses her dog, has a tramp stamp)
Jaime ( dadless nurse from NY, doesn't like Courtney)
Brittney (Sales rep from CO, brought her Grandma)

No Rose!

Jenna (blogger with a drinking problem)
Shawn (Single mom)

Next Week: Going to San Francisco!

Bachelor Ben Drinking Game

Click HERE for the week 3 drinking game.

The Bachelor Ben Drinking Game for Week 2.

Take a drink when:

• Courtney makes someone feel bad.
• Jenna cries.
• Monica hits on another girl.
• A helicopter appears.
• Anyone describes Ben as *hot*. 
• Chris Harrison appears.
• Anyone uses the word *drama* 
• Someone complains about Courtney.
• Anyone rides a cable car.
• You see the Golden Gate Bridge.
• Anyone risks their life on a date. 
• Anyone gets in a hot tub or pool.
• Someone says *winning*
• Someone threatens bodily harm.
• Anyone mentions *the rest of my life* 
• Ben wears a stupid costume.

The Power of Positive Thinking

Did you see the Bronco Game yesterday?

My throat still hurts this morning from all of the screaming and my glutes are screaming from all of the Tebowing!

Photo Credit

My children still look terrified of the excited, loud, fist pumping person that inhabited my body for four hours yesterday.

I felt really badly for iKeith because he was sick yesterday.  The cold that we all had over the holidays returned for him and he could barely talk when he left for the game.  He said he wasn't going to cheer to perserve what little bit of voice he had left.  Can you imagine NOT cheering during that game?

I had to give Keith a hard time because he went to the game convinced that they were going to lose.  I razzed him about positive thinking and being a glass half empty kind of guy.  He wouldn't budge.

I texted and tweeted him during the game gloating over my rightness.  When will this man learn that I'm always right? 

I was completely freaking out in the last 25 seconds of the game.  And then it went into overtime.  The new rules sounded like a recipe for failure.  I held my breath which resulted in being completely lightheaded when Tebow threw the ball, it was caught and ran in for a touchdown.

DENVER WINS!

When iKeith got home we opened a bottle of Champagne and made a toast!

And now he believes.....

Coming this afternoon.  The Bachelor Ben Drinking Game for tonight!

The Real Housewives of Pixie Hollow

My daughter got the Disney Fairies Tink's Pixie Cottage for Christmas from her California Grandparents.  By the way....when looking for a picture of this thing I saw that it's $49.99...insane!  This thing is a piece of crap.

She's been very excited to play with it every chance she gets and her favorite Tinkerbell Tea Party playmate is iKeith. He does a great Silvermist voice.

Yesterday, after the boys had gone to work and school...she asked me to play. 

The first thing I noticed is that Tink's legs don't bend so it's very difficult to get her to sit anywhere.

When you put her on the toilet that comes with the house.....she looks a little constipated.

What is with these tiny little tea cups?

Finally Tink and Silvermist figure out how to sit together on the swing.  But look....who is that passed out and naked in the background?

Hey Kyle...Have you seen Taylor?

It's like an episode of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills!

Rejected Titles for this post 

 Tink Takes a Crap

Even Pixies have to Poop

Barbie on a Binge

Drinking Tea is for Pixies 

Disclaimer: 

I was not paid by anyone to write about the Pixie Cottage (obviously).

If You Give A Blogger A Book....Club

This month's winner is Jessica from Raising Z!

I am very excited to announce that my friend Mimi from Living in France has agreed to start a new venture with me.  As you know.... I love books and reading and Mimi shares that love with me.

I had an idea to start a book club with my family members and then I remembered that most of them are lame (not you Mom....I have you to thank for my love of reading!) and I'd just end up disappointed.

The next logical step was to invite my friends to have a book club! 

<center><a href="https://www.facebook.com/groups/228520617224533/" target="_blank"><img alt="Young and Relentless" src="http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y73/keithstrophywife/bloggerabook.jpg"/></a></center>

Here's how this is going to work.

*Get the book,  join our facebook group and follow us on twitter.

*Join our discussion on facebook .  You don't have to write and link up a blog post unless you really love the book and want to share it with your readers.  You have six weeks before the next book is announced!

*Mimi and I will write up a post of our thoughts about the book at our book club website, so if you aren't on facebook and would like to talk about the book you can.

I will be giving away one copy of each book. 

Just leave me a comment (make sure that I have your email adress so that I can contact you) before Friday, January 6th at Midnight.  The Winner will be announced Saturday morning at If You Give A Blogger a Book....Club and on the facebook group.

This months book is:

This is the story of Rachel Bertsche and her quest to find a new BFF after moving to Chicago with her husband. She goes on 52 friend dates and explores the reasons that we click with some people and not with others.


So what are you waiting for?   Join the club!

The Bachelor: Like A Bad Dream

Once again, i've been peer pressured into watching and blogging The Bachelor.  Unfortunately....it doesn't take much to talk me into it because I enjoy a train wreck as much as anyone.  The only problem is that I really want to like Ben....but I'm not really there yet.

We start off meeting several of the ladies, one of which lives in Nebraska, brags about eating bull testicles and shoots guns.  If that doesn't scream WIFE MATERIAL then I don't know what does.

We watch Ben in his new fabulous life living in San Francisco and working in Sonoma.  He talks about how he has clarity now and he's discovered himself.  He's a new man.....wait, where have I heard this before?  Oh yes, ABC is re-using Brad's old script to save money.

Ben is ready to meet the ladies but first he sees a hummingbird that Chris Harrison has planted in the bushes.  It's a SIGN!

One of the first ladies he meets is a blogger from NYC named Jenna.  She tries to quote his famous last words from his break up with Ashley and she messes it up.  She realizes she should have just said Hi.

Good things don't end unless they end badly.

Several ladies bring props.  One wears a sash from a beauty contest, another wears a giant hat that she later makes Ben try on, another brings her Grandma and then......one rides in on a horse.

Ben tells Rachel (who quit her job to be here) that he's looking for love...not a wife.

Nikki is like a jack russell terrier.  All bubbles and energy.  Ben says he likes it. 

Some of the gals are dissing on the people that brought a gimmick.  And a grandma.  I think they are just jealous that they didn't think of it first.

As usual, the appearance of the first impression rose drives people to drink and start acting stupid.

The girls that have no conversational skills start making Ben doing stupid things like push ups, dancing and playing soccer outside.    One girl decides to blindfold Ben and make him guess what she is feeding him.

Emily, the Ph.d student decides to rap for Ben.  I actually really liked this gal's introduction.  She gave him some hand sanitizer and breath spray and then got the first kiss.  Very clever!

Jenna and Monica are sitting next to each other and talking about their feelings for Ben.  Jenna is smitten and Monica feels nothing and appears to be here for a free California vacation and who can blame her because Salt Lake City is pretty dull this time of year.

Monica shows her true colors and they have bully written all over them.  Jenna is taking her smiling and laughing personally and runs off to cry.  We hear Monica threaten to cut someone's face off if they cross her.

Next thing we know, Monica is making googly eyes at Blakeley on the couch.  She tells her that she's beautiful and they are going to be in each other's lives forever.  My crazy person radar is going off!!

Rachel decided to patch things up between the two since they are obviously going to be on the show for a while.  Drama = Roses people.  Things don't really go well and Jenna tries to offer an olive branch in the form of a tampon.   Monica doesn't accept and walks away.

Jenna spends a good amount of time having a breakdown in the bathroom which guarantees her a rose tonight.  Note to Jenna: You are miked and every single thing you say in the bathroom is recorded.

The first impression rose goes to Horse girl.  I think her name is Lindzi with a Z.

Roses:

Lindzi
Jaime
Rachel
Blakeley
Emily
Kacie B
Casey S
Brittney
Erica
Shawn
Nikki
Jennifer
Elyse
Samantha
Courtney
Jaclyn
Monica
Jenna

Series previews: 

There is an ex-girlfriend that comes back for Ben and someone is described as The Black Widow.  Looks like lots of drama and crazy girls! 

I think it's going to be a great season!

I'm working on a drinking game......stay tuned!

What Are You Going To Do With Your Wife?

Joining Impulsive Addict and Seriously Shawn for another great week at Talk To Us Tuesday!

By the way....tomorrow is the big reveal of The Book Club!  You won't want to miss it!






Hello Friends!

I just spent three hours of my life watching the new Bachelor and Wife Swap. I posted my thoughts on Ben for your reading pleasure! Drinking game is coming soon!

I do want to talk about The Bachelor for a moment. I want to address the conflict between Monica and Jenna.

I was kind of rooting for Jenna from the beginning because she billed herself as a blogger and as of yet, we've never had a blogger on the show before. I thought to myself. Jenna will be my people.

Jenna is a whiney cry baby.

But I think in some circles that's what it takes to be a good/popular blogger. Please be advised that I have never read her blog and will not link to it here because I think that's what she wants us to do.

Ahem.

Monica. Reminds me of someone that wreaked havoc on my life.

Left me tell you about MY Monica.

I met her for the first time at a Bachelorette party for our dear friend who I'll call Denise, because that's what her name is. *Monica* sat across from me and gave me dirty looks all night. You see....I was the old best friend and she was the new best friend.

Fast forward two weeks to the wedding. I'm already having a bad day because my stupid (now ex) husband is running late. We have to drive 75 minutes to south Denver (from Greeley) to get his tux before the wedding AND we have to pick up my dress on Federal because it didn't fit when I went in for a fitting.

We get to the wedding and my dress still doesn't fit and I had to be sewn into it.

Fast forward 6 hours later and I'm trying to get my (now ex and drunk) husband to leave. I'm having a conversation with him and she is copying me behind my back. Keep in mind I've barely had any kind of conversation with HER. I ask her to stop and she mocks me.

Fast forward 2 months. My friend Denise tells me that they are hiring a receptionist where she works and I should apply and leave my stupid (now ex) husband. Only problem....*Monica* works there too.

I decide that I'd rather deal with immature stupid *Monica* than my stupid immature (now ex) husband and I apply for the job.

I get the job, and months later.....*Monica* and I become friends. Very good friends.

Fast forward three years, *Monica* is now my boss. We both join eHarmony and I meet the love of my life in two weeks. Note: *Monica* is still single to this very day.

Fast forward two more years. I'm married, my lovely husband has bought me a new Murano and a HOUSE and I've just announced that I'm pregnant.

*Monica* has me fired for my inability to get along with employees just two months after she's given me a glowing review and a raise.

What the heck is *Monica's* problem.  Was she jealous?  Immature?  Mentally Ill?

I say that she is/was all of these things.  And so is this Monica.  I also think they two of them are still on the show for ratings alone.

Also....I texted IA tonight during the show to tell her that I'd share tampons with her in California.  I don't think we'll be sharing a room anymore.....

As for Wife Swap?

I feel so badly for Carnie Wilson.  Her husband is a selfish a-hole and she is uninvolved in his and her children's lives.  Also....Aunt De De needs to work on her housekeeping because I would have walked out right after walking in.  Tracy Gold showed great courage staying in that house.

2012 New Years Resolutions

Whew!

I love Christmas and the Elfcapades.....but making an awesome Christmas is exhausting.  Luckily....I didn't get really sick until it was all over.  It's been great having iKeith home for the last two weeks and I'm going to miss all of this family time.

But now....it's time to put the decorations away and take a look inward....and make some kick ass resolutions!

2012 Theme: Be A Blessing
2012 Theme Song: Sexy and I Know It by LMFAO
2012 Quote: In reality, serendipity accounts for one percent of the blessings we receive in life, work and love. The other 99 percent is due to our efforts. ~ Peter McWilliams



1. Have more sexy time. 


I read in O Magazine that making whoopie twice a week boosts your immune system.  I'm sick of being sick and if I can be more well by spending 20 minutes a week  flat on my back then I am willing to give it a try! Who's with me on this one?

2. Read more.

I just set a goal of reading 28 books in 2012.  I read 27 books in 2011 and I'd like to help all of you reach a personal goal of your own....by having you join me and Mimi's book club.  More on this later in the week.

3. Get Healthy/Run School's 5K.

This is on my list every year.  This year I want to run in the 5K at school and get a cool t-shirt.  I'll be blogging my journey at my fitness blog.  Fat2Fit Mommy

4. See More Theatre.

I love live theatre.  We haven't had a babysitter for a year now but we finally found someone (that we trust) that is willing to watch them occasionally.  I need more dates with my hubby!

5. Drink less coffee/soda.

I'm spending all of my extra money on K-cups!  It's getting out of control and I have a big trip planned so I need to start saving my spending money.

6. More Girlfriend Time.

I have made some amazing friends at school and I want to see more of them outside of PTA meetings and drop off.  I also need to get together with my OLD friends that were with me through thick and thin.  AND I have the trip of a lifetime planned with my blogging besties!

7.  More Adventure Walks.

My kids love to go on adventures and letterboxing.  We need more of this!

8.  Move

I'm going to work hard to see if we can move out of his apartment.  It might not happen for another year but I'm going to keep thinking positive.

9.  Make a Vision Board

I believe in the power of positive thinking!

10.  Floss more.

Like every day!

What are your resolutions?