Tuesday, January 12, 2010

The Bachelor: On The Wings of Love

I don't know if it was the cheesy commercials that ABC kept playing leading up to this show or if it's my belief that Jake is too nice of a guy to do this, but I wasn't excited to watch this season.  Now, don't get me wrong....I love Jake.  I think he's a great guy and very genuine....I just didn't think he was a good fit for this show.

I might have been wrong.  I have a brand new respect for him and I hope to God he finds a good woman.

We start off with some of the girls (two of them professional models) going to be in a photoshot for InStyle Magazine.  They're all pretty natural in front of the camera except for Christina.  She's very nervous and awkward.  I was so happy to see that Jake peeled himself away from the group and went to make her feel more comfortable.  And then she did fine.  I really could have done without Rozlyn's snarky comments about everyone.  She's a b*tch.

In the middle of this date....DING DONG, a box arrives at the house and it's a beautiful diamond necklace for the one on one date.  Except Chris Harrison is playing a cruel joke and doesn't include a note saying who the date belongs to.  Crazy Ass Michele grabs the necklace and shocks everyone by putting it on and saying SHE gets the date because SHE'S wearing the necklace. Yeah....right!

Back at the swimming party...Christina gets drunk and says a bunch of stupid crap and Jake looks like he'd like to call her a cab.  Rozlyn attacks him with her lips and she gets the rose....then acts surprised that she got it.  Good acting job.....

DING DONG!  Finally the note arrives that says that Ali gets the date.  She dresses up in a short, strapless yellow dress and then Jake picks her up in (on?) a motorcycle.  AWKWARD.  They drive to the airport and he helps her into a small skyhawk.   And this is when we discover that Ali is scared of flying and has never been in a small plane before. (he popped her small plane cherry) Jake does an excellent job on his preflight checklist and they take off ON THE WINGS OF LOVE! (seriously, they played that song)

They land, get in an antique roadster and drive to a polo club.  (Jake needs to change clothes YO) They enjoy a very nice meal with very little talking, except that she shares with him that she only dates guys with names that start with J. And then they hear music and CHICAGO plays a private concert for them.  This was a very romantic date and I think they have some chemistry.

DING DONG!  Another date card arrives and some girls don't get to go on a date at all.  This enrages Michele and she goes up to her room and packs her stuff.  She tells the camera that she's not ordinary and that she's the nice girl that everyone hates.  I'll go with that...I don't like her too much.

The next date is at a closed amusement park and Ashley keeps trying to hold hands with Jake on the roller coaster while Jake is screaming like a little girl.  Elizabeth wrote Jake a note and then she reads it to him....she tells him that she doesn't want him to kiss her until she's the last girl standing.  He respects her values and tells her it's sweet.  I think he'll be kissing your sweet @ss goodbye.....

Vienna tries to explain to Jake that she eloped with someone she didn't know when she was 18 and then was divorced 4 months later. She's interrupted by Ashly, mid cry.  Ashly toots her own horn and says she just the nice girl that never gets the guy.  Jake says that's his line and asks her to cease and desist using it.  He gives her a kiss on the cheek which is THE KISS OF DEATH!  Elizabeth gets the rose....and she gets a private fireworks show but no kisses.  The girls in the limo think they are totally making out and now they hate her more.


Chris Harrison appears and asks Rozlyn to come with him.  He explains that she's been engaging in an inappropriate relationship with a staffer.  She defends herself by saying that everyone has relationships  with other people back home and he says this is a NEW relationship.  He tells her she has to leave and she's fine with it....doesn't deny that anything has been going on. 

Chris breaks the news to Jake and he's upset.

Chris tells the girls and everyone starts crying and feeling bad for Jake and hoping that he doesn't put up a wall with them.

And he's where I'm confused.  IF she was carrying on a FRIENDSHIP (as she claims on Entertainment Tonight)  with this person.  Then why didn't the other girls know.  Was she sneaking off in the middle of the night?  What strikes me most, is that she didn't deny it when Chris confronted her.

10 roses....Jake says his soul mate is in that room and Michele smiles a big fat smile because she thinks it's her.  Someone please give this poor girl a makeover and some Xanax.

In the end, he sends home Ashly (horn tooter, roller coaster fondler, dress up stewardess), Christina (awkward model, drunkie poo) and of couse Rozlyn (cheater).


  1. LOVE your recap as usual and I CAN NOT believe they played that corny song while they were flying the plane. Unfortunetly I doubt that will be the last time we hear it. :( Can't wait for more drama! xoxo

  2. Ha! Thanks! I would never watch this, but I love reading the recap, LOL!

  3. I'm so glad you noticed the roller coaster thing- how awkward was THAT? I mean, I know you're trying to stand out among 14 other beautiful women, but putting a death-grip on someone's arm on the downhill drop of a roller coaster isn't really the way to go about it.

  4. I am so glad to read these recaps rather than actually watch. Your version is much better I'm sure. These girls are CRAZY, all of them. And it is odd that the GIRLS can't have another relationship but HE is sampling them all.

  5. Oh the drama! Dont need to watch the show, just get the funny take on it from you!

  6. Thanks for the recap! I missed almost the entire show and tuned in during the cocktail party (thought the dvr was recording it, but it wasn't).

  7. I almost died when they played that song! I only stayed up until 9:30 but I saw all the Rozlyn drama. S and I were also surprised that nobody else knew. Great recap.

  8. Great recap of the show! I don't watch it but just watch the comedy clips of it on the Soup...
    That pilot does look good without a shirt!..

  9. Why would I need to watch when I can get the shorter, funnier version here? You crack me up!

  10. Lol, good recap. She was SO NOT having a 'friendship' with a staffer. Otherwise, he wouldn't have been fired, and she wouldn't have been sent home. I think they probably have hidden cameras {obviously} and they caught her sneaking out in the middle of the night. Or the staffer was bragging or something.

    Anyway you spin in, SHE'S GONE! I was so happy when Chris called her name!!

    Oh, and you could TOTALLY tell that she knew why he was calling her out.

  11. okay, this is why I can't watch this show. It's like a blooody train wreck only I don't look b/c I don't care if they're all gone.

  12. I'm pretty much a Bachelor fan from day 1. First show ever, day 1. But I, like you, wasn't sure I could handle the cheese factor of Jake but I'm giving it a try. Except when they actually played "ON THE WINGS OF LOVE....!" I fell off the couch laughing my ass off.

    But yes, I'm glad drunkie and cheating-ho'ar are gone too. Until next week....

  13. OK, so, like I've NEVER watched reality TV, and this is why... Are ALL these people insane???
    I LOVE reading your recaps, though.
    You make me realize that I can take 5 minutes to read this and see that I don't need to take an hour to KNOW that I am not as crazy as I think I am. :-)
    (Did that make ANY sense? I am medicated you know...)
    Thanks for the fun read.


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