Tuesday, February 1, 2011

The Bachelor Brad: Are You Lonesome Tonight?

This week the ladies and Brad packed up and moved the show to Las Vegas...to the Aria hotel which I've never heard of.  I love how The Bachelor ends up being a 2 hour commercial for a location.  Here is the Sky Villa that the ladies stayed in.  It's pretty amazing!

Dear ABC....please don't have a clue for a date like Let's End Tonight With A Bang...and then give it away during the commercial with a teaser showing fireworks.  I really wanted to believe that Michelle was going to walk in on the date with a gun and shoot Shawntel.  Also, shame on you for putting Emily through that racetrack date and making Brad feel like an asshole.  The viewers...don't like recycled dates.  Please wait at least a couple season before having a broadway musical date.  Ashley against Ashley was just mean.  Their bond is likely broken now. Also..if I'd had tickets to this show and then found out it was Cirque Du Ashley...I'd have been pissed!

Dear Shawtel...Some of the items you picked out on your shopping spree...we're ugly.  I did love how you rubbed your shopping spree in everyone's face when you went back to get ready for dinner. Good on you for making Michelle want to kill herself.  I figure you've at least been on a few dates in your life because you are kind of cute so I can't figure out how explaining the embalming process to your date while you ate your dinner is ever a good idea. 

Dear Michelle...you scare the heck out of me and if we were friends I'd keep my doors locked. You are so aggressive with Brad that I think he's scared to send you home.  Yes, please hang yourself with your scarf.

Dear Alli....There are still a few episodes left.  You still have a chance to go on a date with Brad.  Calm down and stop crying.

Dear Chantal O....RELAX.  Remember the other day when Brad said he likes that you aren't needy?  Stop being needy!  This IS the Emily show...by the way, so get used to it.

Dear Emily...You are smart and beautiful.  WHAT ARE YOU DOING ON THIS SHOW???  Did someone bet you to do it?  Do you need the money?  Do you want to be an actress when you grow up? I feel really badly that you had to endur the race track date but I think you handled it so well.  And maybe you got some closure.

Dear Ashley H....Ever since last week when you made a spectacle of yourself on the group date...you don't seem attractive to me anymore.  You irritate me.

Dear Britt...where were you this week.  I missed you!

Dear Jackie...I thought you were going home this week.  You and Britt must have been at the spa together all week.

Dear Brad...My favorite thing that came out of your mouth during this episode was Put It On The Counter!  I would have preferred Let's Get It, or Charge it to ABC but it was still great!  Also, purple is not your color honey.  I'm impressed that you find funeral directors hot but your nervous laughter was too much for me.  I was happy with how you handled the race track date and I'm sorry that ABC didn't disclose important info about Emily. I thought you looked HOT in the soldier outfit at the Viva Elvis show...nice package.

To The departed:

Dear Ashley S...I think part of your problem is that you talk like a baby.  It might be because you are a Nanny but men don't want to be Nannied.  I believe you will make an extraordinary wife someday. Good Luck.

Dear Marissa...thinking you might have been a filler on this show.  Good Luck.

Dear Lisa...I don't remember ever hearing you speak.  Good Luck.


  1. I stayed at the Aria once after we got a crazy discounted deal. Vegas made me edgy so I spent A LOT of time in the hotel's spa, which was amazing. I don't watch The Bachelor, but love your recaps anyway. It's quicker and funnier this way.

  2. I don't watch the show. There seems to be way too much crying over a guy these girls have known all of 2 days but are so in love with. PUKE!

    But I love your take on it...hang yourself with your scarf? You gotta love someone who says it like it is!

  3. Really don't remember Lisa at all. The NASCAR date was mean, I thought.

    Emily is adorable though- think she'll be the next bachelorette.

  4. LOVE the letter to Emily.
    And, no, I don't THINK Aria is on the strip...unless it's one of the new ones down past the Wynn.

  5. Boo ABC. Isn't that how her husband/fiance died? I can't remember all of the details. If so then that really sucks.

  6. ABC SUCKED for the Nascar date. Totally classless. Jennifer, from what I read, he died in a helicopter accident on his way to a race. Emily was supposed to have gone with him - according to her she usually did - but she was home sick with what she thought was a stomach bug. Nope, she was prego but didn't discover it until a few days after he passed away. AWFUL. And the producers of the Bachelor SUCK, SUCK, SUCK for planning that date with Emily on it. She can have closure on her own and doesn't need a freaking show to force her to do it on national TV. She handled it exceptionally well. (Is that her ring from her fiance that she wears and flips around all the time?? I don't know that wearing his ring on your wedding finger is a good sign that you are ready for new love!) Whatever. I hope she's the next Bachelorette.

    Michelle is PSYCHO. NUTS. INSANE. I think he's scared to send her home too!!

    Still wished we lived near each other Connie! It would be so much fun to watch these shows with you!!! :o)

  7. Oh, and that god-awful Fendi purse!!! Was she barred from going into Hermes or something??? Yuck. If I had that chance, I'd run into Hermes ... grab a Birkin ... and be like ... yeah, I'm good! Don't need anything else!

  8. I agree 100% with everything you said. The NASCAR date was a sure sign that the producers are idiots, or jerks, or both. That was just cruel to everyone involved. But yes, Emily and Brad both handled it well, and it may have been some closure for her in the long run.

    I liked Ashley S. before, but she was very whiny this time. I wasn't brokenhearted to see her go.

    I figured Lisa was going, and yeah, I had no idea what her name even was until they said it when she said goodbye.

    And Michelle...well, what can I say that hasn't been said. Psycho.

  9. Great recap! Ashley S DOES talk like a baby. She needs to grow up a little and get a big girl voice.

    I'm still pulling for Emily, but I feel like she's pushing herself away.

    I have this sick sick feeling like Brad is going to pick Michelle. NO!! Please, NO! I'm having major Vienna/Jake flashbacks.

  10. I love the letter format, I laughed through this entire recap! I too wish I could come over and ignore your kids while they color themselves silly and play drinking games while you "work"on these recaps :) What fun that would be.

    ABC does suck, Michelle is still my favorite (that crazy psycho biach) and I do agree that Emily will be the next bachelorette. I think Brad handled that date (and all the weepy, freakin out women) with grace.


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