Tuesday, January 18, 2011

The Bachelor Brad:The One Where Everyone Cries

This wrap up The Bachelor is going to be shorter and without pictures because I have a huge day ahead of me.  Alex is having problems seeing so we're taking him to the eye doctor and I have to register him for Kindergarten at our neighborhood school just in case we don't get a spot at one of the three we've applied to. 

I want to apologize for the drinking game I created yesterday.  I had no idea that this 3rd episode of The Bachelor: My Daddy's Worse Than Your Daddy was going to be so depressing.  And just so you know....ABC....I'm on to you.  I know exactly why you cast these particular ladies and you should be ashamed of yourselves.

You selected a group of women that have Daddy issues.  Some have lost their Dad's, never known their Dad's, lost their baby Daddy or are in love with their Daddy.  You are trying to distract us from the fact that Brad has problems of his own by burdening us with these sad stories.

Shame on you ABC.

SEALed With a Kiss 

So...Ashley S got the first one on one date and Brad took her on the worst date ever.  He took her to a recording studio to record the Seal song A Kiss From A Rose and these two have no business singing anywhere but the shower. In fact, Ashley told us that she is so bad that she doesn't even sing IN the shower.  They are horrible and then they go into another room where THE real Seal is singing that song and he does a much better job.

Ashley tells Brad that her Dad died two years ago from a brain aneurysm and that A Kiss From A Rose was their favorite song and it's like her Dad is here and wants her to get the rose. Brad seems uncomfortable but gives her the rose anyway and thanks her for opening up.


The group date is another weird date that you'd never go on in real life and consists of going to a studio to film an action/adventure movie.  There are explosions and fight scenes.  It's almost like still being at the Bachelorette mansion.  Michelle is jealous and gets irritated every time someone does their scene with Brad.  Shawntel does a great job and should leave the show immediately and get an agent.

Brad has some alone time with Chantal O who tells him that her Dad died before she could reconcile with him when she was a teen. She cries and he pats her leg. When will he learn to stop asking these gals about their families!

Michelle keeps breaking into the ladies alone time with Brad like a stalker.  Brad finally kisses her and she claims him as hers.

Brad goes to get the rose and ABC tricked me and made it look like he was giving the rose to Michelle but it was Shawntel instead.  Well played ABC.

Winery Tour 

Emily told the remaining girls at the house about her story and made everyone except Jackie cry.  She knows she needs to tell Brad but she doesn't want to be a hot mess...she wants to look cute for her date.

Emily picks a super short romper thing for her date and is whisked away to a private jet that drops them off in wine country.  They drive a yellow MGTD (iKeith knew what this car was) and they drive to a vineyard.  Brad asks her questions and she gives vague answers.  Emily finally tells her story and he likes her more.  He gives her the rose because he really, really likes her.

I really think that ABC needs to assign a therapist to every bachelor/bachelorette.  This has to be the most bizarre experience and I think they need professional help to get through it!  Brad meets with his therapist who helps him figure out that he needs to make these ladies feel comfortable so they will open up to him.

Great advice!

Cocktail Party

Michelle is confident that she is getting a rose and we find out that three woman will be going home.  Alli is wrapped like a present but the present looks like a baby.  We find out that her Daddy cheated on her Mom and had a baby with another woman.  Brad says he's never cheated.  Good to know!

Michelle tells Brad that they are in their first fight because he kissed her and then kissed tow other ladies.  She doesn't want him to talk to anyone else and just hang out with her under a blanket.  I don't think Michelle understands how this show works.  Would a producer PLEASE explain it to her.  Thanks.

Madison takes her fangs out and confides to Brad that she's not sure she should be there anymore when someone else probably likes him more than she does. He tells her not to accept a rose if she doesn't want it.

Ashley H. is sitting alone acting all mopey and Brad tells her he cares about her and wants to get to know her.  Kisses her on the cheek and walks away....then comes back and gives her a proper kiss! Nice Brad!

Rose Ceremony

Madison walks out in the middle of the ceremony and tells Brad she wants to go home.  He lets her go...we see side boob.

Sarah (from Denver) and Kimberly do not get roses.  Sarah really needs some waterproof mascara.  Kimberly thinks that she intimidated Brad because she is so awesome.

Next week: Brad takes the girls to see Dr. Drew and there is violence!


  1. I really like your reviews cuz that's how I keep up on it! :)

  2. ok a few things:

    1. iKeith watches the bachelor with you? LOL. my husband gets all pissy with me for watching such stupid television. but pissy in a husband way, not in an A-hole way.

    2. you left out that on the group date all the girls wore tank tops with exposed cleavage.

    3. the bachelor producers need to cast women with less silicone! i'd totally get a boob job, in fact i want one...but come ON.

    4. michelle = nut case. not representing utah well AT ALL.

    5. LMAO at side boob.

  3. Can they please get rid of the Michelle chick? I just read the recaps and she is already getting on my nerves.

  4. I hope Alex is okay!

    Nice recap as always. Obviously they made Brad keep Michelle, they need the drama. She is a few fries short of a happy meal and if Brad pulls another Jake move and ends up with her, I will be done with this show forever!

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I love you. You are my best friend! Your hair looks fantastic today!