Wednesday, August 11, 2010

My Temporary Home

My air conditioning is broken. We figured it out on moving day and on Monday I went to sign the lease and report that we had a serious problem. The manager...who I'll call Nicky said that she would send Dick the Maintenance guy over as soon as he was done cleaning the pool.

I was gone most of the day so I assumed that Dick had come to the apartment. Do you know what happens when you ASSume something? Yeah, that. It's been 90 degrees everyday...the kids are getting heat stroke and I'm getting tipsy on ice cold boxed Chardonay and getting NOTHING unpacked.

Today I went to remind Nicky about my AC and she apparently forgot. I'm starting to think she's had some kind of head injury because she didn't forget to tell me about all of the misfortune that has befallen her family. I've now learned not to talk about ANYTHING except apartment business because every time you say something she follows it with 'That's like this one time'.  Talking about traffic leads to a conversation about how her husband lost his leg and her son was in a coma. She also doesn't have any upper teeth and I have a hard time understanding her.

This is our 5th day in our new apartment and I think I'm finally ready to talk about it.  Downsizing has been surprisingly hard.  I say that because I've lived in worse places than this...I've lived in a 100 year old farm house and the well broke for 6 weeks.  I've had it worse!

Maybe it's because I now have children and had I looked at this place myself...I would have NOT rented it.  It's old and it's cheap.  As they get what you pay for.  I miss my beautiful house and large kitchen and I'd love to go to sleep without the sound of someone's bass pounding through my wall. I'd give anything to see Brother Horton at my door....

The day that we arrived...we almost hit a 10 year old girl that was riding her bike and texting.  Yesterday I saw a 2 year old wandering the sidewalk alone and a mother driving with kids NOT in seat belts.  I'd take the kids to the pool but I've seen those people and I really don't want my kids to breath cigarette smoke while they are playing in the pool, plus according to the newsletter I got of those A-holes stole one of the life jackets that was donated by the fire department.  And if they will just please return it, no one will say a word. The good news is that if I did go to the pool...I'd be the skinny one. Just sayin.

Speaking of the was a wealth of information.  I found out the pool code, that the landscapers come on Tuesday (but they were a day late and mowed the grass today) and that someone has been using the trash can in the laundry room as a restroom.  Oh...and they just installed a recycling container on the property.  This was good news to me because I was about to try to find somewhere to take my items.  Here is a list of items that they will not except:

  • Plastic Bags
  • Plastic Tops
  • Needles and Syringes
  • 6 pack holders
  • Light Bulbs 
  • Boxes of Wine 
  • Plastic Microwave Trays 
  • Stickers
  • To Go Containers

The good news is that all of their beer cans, vodka bottles and milk cartons can absolutely be recycled!

I know it sounds like I'm complaining and maybe I am...just a little bit.  I'm trying to look at the bright side...which is that iKeith loves his new job and this is not forever.  This is our temporary home...

I just saw Dooce's post about her new house...and I think her office is as big as my entire apartment.

Disclaimer: The opinions and thoughts of Connie are not necessarily the opinions and thoughts of iKeith. Also...this post is brought to you by Franzia but they did not contribute to the livelihood or bank account of Connie. Only to her happiness.


  1. I'm sorry. The lease will be up soon and in the meantime you can search for a better place.

  2. That sounds awful! I hope that you only have a 6mo lease. 'Cause you need to get out of there and fast!

  3. Oh my! I hope you find something soon! We used to live in Colorado Springs and there was a lotta ghetto, but some AWESOME places too! I hope you find some awesome-ness soon! <3

  4. Oh Connie! I feel for you - I am hoping you get through this time soon so you can "move" on to a better place!!

  5. Dude, you can NOT look at pictures of Dooce's place! Everytime I see new pictures I am either a) annoyed she can afford that on a BLOGGER's money and b) consumed with wanting to know how much it cost.

    Sorry the apt is sucky...We rented an apartment once in Colorado Springs, and when I went to complain about something, the manager said to me, "Lady, I don't even have to provide you with a TOILET if I don't want to! You have no rights."

    And then I did not like her very much at all.

  6. Im glad that you are see the light in is only temporary and you will get someplace better in time

  7. Oh man Connie. I am glad you are able to see the positive aspects. That apartment lady sounds like a case!


  8. thank you for your comment Connie as I'm now a fan of your blog...hilarious.
    good luck with the apartment.
    your description of Nicky is perfection.
    we don't have air conditioning so i feel your pain...try a cool shower...or just more cold wine.

  9. I will remind myself of your post when we start looking for rentals..if we EVER move!

    If it makes you feel any better a man was shot to death a few blocks down from us...suspects still at large...we live in the hood :(

  10. I read the Dooce post yesterday and after I choked on my water, drooled all over my key board, realized that my entire HOUSE could fit inside that office, wondered what something like that cost and turned green with envy I closed google reader and snapped myself back to reality. :)

    That apartment manager sounds like a loon and I have my fingers crossed that your not too locked into a lease that you can't start looking for something else soon (Like before you unpack too many boxes).


  11. Thanks Everyone!

    We are locked in for 1 year. We plan to make the best of it and save as much money as we can so that we can rent a nice house.

    Just get ready for a year worth of posts about the shenanigans. :)

    Kids are going to Nana's for the afternoon so I'm going to escape the heat and find a coffee shop to sit in!

  12. Ohhhhh dear. Thank goodness you are looking at the bright side . . . like, now you have a WHOLE buncha blog posts at your fingertips ;)

  13. Stop your crying, I say let the kids go to gmoms and you and ikeith get to it and enjoy the heat. Alot can be done in the heat. Or go take a cold shower.

    Suck it up buttercup!!!!
    It will be better soon and if its not then its not.

    All your gonna do at a coffee shop is feel good and then go back to feeling bad. Just stay feeling bad and like I said get to it with ikeith and enjoy your time alone

    And since when are you putting disclaimers about your opinions on your blog

  14. Oh Connie, I am sorry to hear it. I'll try my hardest to keep you distracted! If it makes you feel any better, I don't have central air conditioning. Just a small window unit for the girls. I sweat it out like I did as a child.

  15. Beautiful song... Love the disclaimer, you made me laugh.
    Sorry about the situation, I know you can make your place beautiful because you are "Supermom" and just get out your crafts and go to it.
    I like the idea of those people as blog-fodder, I for one, can't wait to hear of their escapades.
    As for Dooce, who needs to hear about her - I would much rather hear about YOU, you are a real human being like the rest of us!!


I love you. You are my best friend! Your hair looks fantastic today!