Please Explain...

Someone please explain to me.

What the purpose of this hood ornament is?



Why in the world would you need that on your station wagon in Utah? Does the station wagon need protecting? Is this to compensate for his little penis? Surely a woman doesn't drive this. It has to be a man.

Also, if he is using it for protection purposes...why are the points facing toward the car? I sure hope that the dang thing never comes off and pokes the drivers eye out!

This photo was used without the permission of Calvin who snapped this priceless picture in the parking lot of the company he works for. We are in the Witness Protection Program so I can't tell you where this was taken.

The Caffeine Test

I love coffee and soda pop. It helps get me through my day so that I don't have to resort to drugs. Some even say coffee helps with the performance of tasks that require constant attention. Even at normal times when alertness may be hindered, such as after lunch or when your kid wakes up at 5am ready to start his day.

There are two little people that require my constant attention and without coffee and Mountain Dew, I might just lose my mind.

Oh, and I'm pretty sure that my BFF, Kate is a coffeeaholic. She just has to be.

My new favorite drink is the Sonic Java Chillers. I tried the Hazelnut one yesterday but they also have carmel and mocha. Yummy!!!

EDITED: I just had the Carmel Java Chiller and it is THE BEST!

Take this quiz and see if you are getting enough caffeine!


Created by OnePlusYou

By the way, I have been on the coffee diet for 2 years now and it isn't working for me! This diet makes me crave donuts!



You know you are addicted to coffee when....


You grind your coffee beans in your mouth.

The only time you're standing still is during an earthquake.

You can take a picture of yourself from ten feet away without using the timer.

You've worn out your third pair of Old Navy Flip Flops this week.

You sleep with your eyes open.

You need a scientific calculator to take your pulse.

You're so jittery that you can use your hands to blend your margaritas.

You can type seventy words per minute with your feet.

You don't sweat, you percolate.

You forget to unwrap Poptarts before eating them.

People get dizzy just watching you.

Instant coffee takes too long.

You can outlast the Energizer bunny.

Your nervous twitch registers on the Richter scale.

You help your dog chase its tail.

Your first-aid kit contains two pints of coffee with an I.V. hookup.

You can't drive 55!

Loralee Hangover?

Last night was my scheduled Mom's Night Out. I thought my night was going to be kind of lame because I didn't have any Mom's to hang out with but at the last minute....Loralee got a hold of me because the poor thing is stranded in Ogden (welcome to the club) and she wanted to meet for a cup of coffee. I was so excited because I have been wanting to meet Loralee for months now but it never worked out.

We met at Grounds For Coffee which is kind of a dive shop in a questionable neighborhood. It is right by the liquor store which in Utah is a bad place. We drank coffee, talked and compared the size of our ankles. Then we decided to go do something else. But what is there to do in Ogden on a Tuesday night?

Our choices were rather limited.

I discovered that Loralee had not yet seen Sex & The City and I wanted to see it again so I convinced her to go see it. YAY! On our way to The Junction...we saw a Tamale cart in the downtown Ogden park and we decided they were probably the best Tamales in the history of Mexican food.

We got our tickets and had some time to kill so we sauntered down to the park and bought a couple of Pork Tamales. They were great!

There was a young couple already in their seats when we arrived and they promptly left. I think we foiled their plans for Sex & The Theater. Since Loralee is the last woman in the Top of Utah to see the movie, we had the whole place to ourselves! We were able to talk through the entire movie without anyone throwing a soda at our heads. Loralee even danced a little. She has mad dancing skillz! I tried to warn her to avert her eyes during the Miranda/Steve sex scene but she wouldn't listen and is now scarred for life.

I loved seeing the movie again and Loralee is a blast to hang out with. But I woke up with a horrible headache.

I hope it isn't a Loralee hangover!

Let's Make A Deal!

We were out running errands this morning when Calvin said Let's go look at the new Muranos. I said no, I didn't want to see one if I can't have one. He had previously told me that I couldn't have a new Murano until 2011. Since I am just a housewife and mother to his heir, I decided to put my desire for a new car aside and withhold all sex with Calvin until 2011. Just kidding!! But I do make him work for it.

I told him taking me to see a new Murano is like taking an alcoholic to a bar, my Dad to a strip club or Kirstie Alley to a buffet. I don't want to see what I can't have.

I asked him if he changed his mind about getting me a new Murano and he said he saw in my eyes how much I wanted one.

I said, well, you can either let me have another baby.



Or you can get me a new 2009 Murano.



I asked him which would be cheaper. He said the baby.

Then I opened my big mouth without thinking and I said....long term? Or initial investment?

He decided they are both too expensive.

Now I don't think I am getting either one!

Thoughtful & Thankful

“There are no seven wonders of the world in the eyes of a child. There are seven million.”
-Walt Streightiff


Things we are thankful for this week:

Hugs & Love from Daddy....
The beauty of mountains....
Strawberry Juice Popsicles when you are sick....
The Bissell handheld Spotlifter Carpet Cleaner....
The Greek Gyro from Jumbo Burger....
Red Wine....
Finishing a project....

The Summer Quilt

I have been working on a summer quilt for the kids since February and it is finally done!

I love how it turned out.




This is the first time that I have quilted a design and not just triangles and squares. I loved doing it.


Erick loves the quilt...he wrapped up in it to watch Thomas the Train.

Father's Day 2008

It was so great having my Dad here for Father's Day this year. Since my family moved to Texas 10 years ago, I haven't gotten to spend very many holiday's with them. I can't even remember the last time Dad and I were together on his special day.

We decided to go to Needles Lodge Dining Room at Snowbasin Ski Resort for Father's Day Brunch. Steve, the kids and I had been there for our birthday last September and enjoyed it so much! The best thing about eating here is the 20 minute gondola ride up the mountain to get to the restaurant.

The views are amazing!



The food is so good and we got to sit right in the corner looking out over the valley.





A great time was had by all!

The greatest gift I ever had
Came from God; I call him Dad!
~Author Unknown

There is something worse....

I thought that there was nothing worse than being a Non-Mormon in Utah. I now know that is not true....there is something worse.

Being a FLDS woman in Utah.

I just returned from my local grocery store, where I saw a woman and her four kids. Based on their attire I figured out that they were FLDS. She and her children were all wearing long dresses and had tall hair and braids.

I felt really bad for her because she looked scared to death. Probably because everyone in the store was staring at her and her family and whispering. I said Hello to her as she walked by and tried to meet her gaze but she immediately looked away.

I wanted to hug her and tell her....that I understand and I don't fit in here either. I wanted to give her my phone number and tell her to join my Mommies Group. And I wanted to tell the cashier and her bag boy to mind their own business and stop talking about her. Let her be!

Utah is a tough place for me to live....but it could be worse.

I could be her.


If you judge people, you have no time to love them.
~Mother Teresa

Thoughtful and Thankful Friday!

Children are the reward of life.
- Congolese Proverb




What we are thankful for this week.....

Grandparents!
Balls!
Farr's Ice Cream!
Nap Time!
Books!
Trains!
Technology!

The Nature Can

Alex loves to collect rocks and leaves and other fun nuggets that he finds on his walks with Daddy. Poor Daddy ends up carrying these items in his pocket until they get home and put them on Alex's special shelf in the garage.

I found this on a great website the other day and I knew that I had to make one for Alex. And I will make one for Mallory when she gets a little bit older.

I used a smallish Oatmeal box and felt for our can but you can use fabric or paper or whatever you please. I also picked up some bugs, bees and ladybugs from the scrapbook section of the craft store to embellish that can. For the strap....I cut a strip from a camouflage bandana.

Much Better!!

We tried Discovery Time at the library again today. This time, I hired Natalie from across the street to be my Mother's Helper and she had Mallory and I had Alex.

Before we left I explained to Alex that we were going to the library and that I expected him to sit, listen and behave himself. I told him that we were going to sing songs, and read books and maybe color. I asked him if he was going to be a good boy and he said Yes.

And he was!!!

He sat in my lap before the class started and we read a book, then he returned the book to the basket when the librarian got started. He sat quietly while we sang a song, then did the hokey pokey and he even called out COW when she talked about cows and when she said ONE, he said TWO!

He did cry just one time...because he didn't want to give up the egg shaker. But he recovered quickly.

He was well behaved, followed directions and was almost reserved!! He was a totally different kid.


And then me and Alex made a Cow Puppet.


The theme today was Westward Ho and the letter of the day was W. Our vocabulary words for the week are: lasso, skedaddle, buckaroo, doggie and yammerin. I encourage you all to leave me a comment using these words in a sentence! LOL!

Later, we are supposed to pretend to be a cowboy/cowgirl...we can finally use those cowboy hats I brought home from Texas. Oh, and I'm supposed to make up a story about what a cowboy does. And here is a song....feel free to sing this one outloud!

I'm a Little Cowboy/Cowgirl!
to the tune of I'm a little teapot

I'm a little cowboy/cowgirl.
Here's my hat (point to your hat)
Here are my spurs
And here are my chaps. (point to feet and legs)
When I get up, I work all day, (jump on work)
Get on my horse and ride away (galloping motion)


Very Good!!


I don't know if this had anything to do with it....but I fed Alex some Kix Cereal (only 3g of sugar) for breakfast and I didn't give him any juice this morning. I wonder if he is sensitive to sugar and it makes him hyper?

We had such a great time and I hope it continues.

A heavy heart....

One of my Mommy friends has suffered a terrible loss.

Her beautiful red headed baby boy went to heaven to be with Jesus on Friday. He wasn't supposed to be born for 6 more weeks....

I can't imagine what she must be going through. My heart is heaving thinking of what must be going through her head and how her heart must ache.

Please say a prayer for Zachary's mommy....her name is Lorene.

STOMP!

My parents are visiting and so we decided to take advantage of them and go on a date.

I discovered several weeks ago that STOMP would be in Salt Lake for their last performance in Utah the day after my parents arrived. We love live, musical theater so I thought this would be great, especially since I haven't seen many Broadway shows come through lately, if at all.

We got downtown a little early so we decided to go grab a quick drink....which is very difficult to do in Utah because of the ridiculous law that says you have to order food with your drink. We ran into the Blue Iguana which is right next door to The Capital Theater and ordered beers.

Then the waiter insisted that we order food even though we were clearly eating the chips and salsa that was on the table. THAT...was not food. But the flan we ordered counted as food and did not compliment my Corona with lime at all. In fact, it was gross. But the chips and salsa were good!!

I can't believe what I have to go through to get a dang drink in this state!

I pointed out that this would not be an issue in MINNESOTA!

On the way to the The Capital Theater, we noticed that folks were not dressed up. I was expecting this from Utah...these are the same folks that wear sleepwear and rollers to Target. But what we didn't expect was how poorly many people were dressed. Some of these people could have been mistaken for cast from the show if you put a broom in their hands!

The show began and started off great! Lots of rhythmic broom tricks and a little comedy. There were lots of interrupts from people arriving 20-30 minutes late and being seated by the ushers. Including an older couple in front of us who almost went to fisticuffs over the old man not wanting to sit in his assigned seat. We thought she was going to kick his fanny.

The performers are amazing in this show. It was hard for me to believe that we could be so mesmerized, entertained and giddy from laughter when none of them speak a word! There is a part of the show where they use these huge drums and you can feel it in your core! We laughed at the skits that were done with rubber hoses, matchboxes and newspaper! And then...the kitchen sink is also featured.

The was one guy...in a black tank top, with muscles....oh my! And he could Stomp like nothing I have ever seen!

We were really impressed with The Capital Theater. It's a really old building, built in 1913 with so much character!

And I have good news....WICKED IS COMING!

And I have bad news....you can only see it if you buy season tickets.


It was great to see a show and get out with The Hubby...but Salt Lake theater just doesn't have the magic that Denver has. Buell Theater and Downtown Denver...how I miss thee!

I'm Calling The Supernanny!

We just got back from Discovery Time at the library. It is supposed to be 45 minutes of singing, story time and learning activities for kids age 0-3 years old. This week the topic was birds. Awesome! Alex loves birds!


We lasted 10 minutes.


And those 10 minutes were the longest, hardest 10 minutes. Alex didn't want to sit, didn't want to wear his bird name tag, he didn't want to share the noise makers with the other children (they were eggs filled with beans or something) and he got pissed when the eggs wouldn't open. He squirmed, cried, whined and disrupted the group. All of the other kids were behaving and sitting, listening to the story and songs. Not my kid.


We left.


Poor Mallory. She was having a great time......


I'm going to try it again next week with the Mother's Helper that I hired but if it doesn't work out....



I'm calling The Supernanny!

Bean Bag Games

I made these Bean Bags for the kids and they love playing with them! We like to throw them into a box, balance them on our head, toss them to each other and pile them all on top of Daddy!

Unfortunately, one of them is lodged behind the entertainment center because Alex threw one into the air and he doesn't know his own strength!!

I guess we will get it out when we move.

Fun with Water!

One of my Mommy friends told me about a fun park in South Ogden that just opened a Splash Pad. Donny loves water so we thought today would be a great day to check it out. First we got him a hair cut at Great Clips. No. More. Mullet!

We were wandering all around a residential neighborhood looking for it and found a Monastery. We gave some thought to dropping Donny off to become a monk but decided to give him one more chance. Click here for a beautiful photo slide show of the Mount Benedict Monastery

Finally we found it.

The Splash Park!


Donny & Marie were sooo excited to get to the water!



Donny didn't care for the water spraying him in the face....



But Marie loved every bit of the water!!



But then they got cold and we decided to play at the playground.




How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?



Donny met a dog name Sunny and tried to feed him some wood chips. Sunny tried to come home with us.



All in all this was a fabulous weekend! We visited THREE different parks and had awesome pizza!

LIving in IKEA!

Remember last week when I said I wanted to move to IKEA?

It never fails, someone always has the great ideas before I do.

My new friend Katy just told me that a guy DID live in an IKEA. Crazy right! I am so jealous of him! Here is the footage....



And here is a crazy IKEA commercial that I'm guessing doesn't play in the US. This is also what I imagine is going on at my parents house now that my sister has moved out and gotten her own place.