Monday, February 20, 2012

Making Twitter Friends Everywhere I Go

Hello Friends!  And Impulsive Addict and Seriously Shawn!

This week is already on my shitlist and it's only Tuesday.   Yesterday, my son who was sick all last week woke up crying because his ears hurt.  A trip to the doctor confirmed that he has a very bad ear infection. I also paid a $30 co-pay to have them check out my daughter who was also sick last week.  She's fine.

I just checked the What People Googled to Find My Blog list and found that someone has a burning question that only I can answer. 

What happens when you put a tampon in the wrong hole.

The answer becomes a plug.

Speaking of things that don't belong.  Remember the little story I told you on Thursday about an altercation I was in?  I checked my calendar and I'm volunteering in the classroom with that woman on Friday. Awkward!

Saturday night I went on a date with my husband. One of his co-workers is competing to be Denver's Next Improv Star! We tried to get a drink (or 3) and a bite to eat at 5 different places. We got turned away over and over because everyone and their dog was eating dinner downtown that night. We did get a table at a place called CRAVE but it was a bar that served cake and I didn't think that was the best place to take a diabetic for dinner.

We raced all over downtown and finally ended up at Rock Bottom Brewery. I found the irony. We had reached Rock Bottom in our choices. Did I mention that all of this happened while Keith's boss with us?

We had a burger and drinks and listened to Dan tell us fascinating stories about Steve Jobs. And knowing me and how inappropriate I can be....I told him he should lay on our table so we could turn the beer tap on straight into his mouth. He said that he didn't get where he was by laying under things. I told him that I'm exactly where I am by laying under things. And then I called Keith my Sugar Daddy.

Once we were in our seats at the improv show....we smelled something. Something bad. I did what I always do when I smelling something bad and I told twitter.

The guy behind me....was reading my phone over my shoulder and told me it wasn't him.   And asked me to retract my tweet.

Guy behind me who DID NOT FART took to twitter to make sure the world all 12 of his followers knew and included a picture of the person who he thought was responsible.  That person is my husband's boss.

I laughed so hard that I peed my pants!  And the show hadn't even started yet!  I am now twitter friends with Michelin.  So now he has 13 friends.

The show was very funny and our friend made it to the next round.

Good Luck Break Your Leg Lindsay!


  1. Look at you, all able to turn an awkward situation into a friend making adventure!

  2. Laughed so hard I had to wipe away tears. Great post!

  3. Oh my gosh - your night was hilarious! That's so funny.

  4. hysterical! what a way to make a new friend :) and a plug? what a bizarre google?!!

  5. The things people google frighten me sometimes...

    I think I'd be a little pissed if someone were reading my phone over my shoulder. Leave it to you to make a friend out of that situation though...

  6. OK. It's hard as hell to stifle a laugh at the office.

    The word 'fart' always makes me turn into a giggly 3rd grader. And now I can't stop.

    You're friggin awesome. And I'm so glad that damn Bachelor introduced us.


  7. That sounds like an all-round awesome night - too funny!!!

  8. OMG hilarious... the farting and the boss...not the sick kids. I've been this sick one this weekend and it is Lame with a capitol LLLLLLL

  9. The farting story is so funny, although the smell. Ew. I took Hannah to Rock Bottom in Seattle once for dinner last year. Wasn't a good experience, or meal. But it was okay.

  10. OK, I still cannot get past the part that a complete stranger felt it was ok to read YOUR phone over YOUR shoulder and then Tweet about it! Clearly this man needs a lesson on personal space! I'm glad it worked out in the end, I don't think we can handle another Connie altercation this week!

    Love you like a theater chair loves a nice smelly fart!

  11. Just be sure to bring the class some sort of treat so that the other mom looks bad- you know, only PTA presidents would think of that! Too funny about your night out, tweeting and all... I'd like to be a fly on the wall when you are around!

  12. That is too funny. But kinda rude that guy read your tweet over your shoulder.

    Hope the kids are much better this week.

  13. Omagah, that's HILARIOUS!!! I would have peed my pants too. LOL
    Also: WHY is someone looking for tampons in the wrong hole? What kind of dumbshit does that?!

  14. ONLY CONNIE! Holy shit that is funny stuff! You would totally make friends with strangers in an awkward situation. Cali is going to be soooo fun hanging out with you!!! I'll have my phone ready for the videos.

    Thanks for linking up with us! xoxo

  15. This reminds me of our movie experience. What was that woman eating, Chinese Food?

  16. how funny and so kind of you to give him an extra follower

  17. What a funny world we live in that this could even happen! Hilarious!

  18. Am I that twitter stupid that I don't see how he could have found you that quickly and liked you??? How did he see your name on a small screen over your shoulder????

    Only YOU could have that happen to you....


  19. *I'm laughing* But also I am intrigued about the google thing....I am afraid to know how people find my blog...but I am also do you do that? Is on your stats?


  20. OMG that's hilarious! I want to go out on a date night with you! Wait...that didn't sound know what I mean... :)

    Valentine Spoilage, Where’s My Water Addiction, The Hunger Games Dilemma

  21. Holy Shit! you are hilarious, how have I not found you before now?

  22. Sorry about the sick kids, but glad you had a good time with your hubby and his boss.
    Love that you made a new Twitter friend.
    You are so sweet and funny that everyone loves you - including ME!

  23. Okay that is hilarious! But wow he was pretty nosy and has good eyes to read your tweet like that


I love you. You are my best friend! Your hair looks fantastic today!