Sunday, December 4, 2011

How I Survived My First School Field Trip

I'm so excited to tell you about how I survived my first school field trip!

Part of my story is a cautionary tale.  What I want to tell you and anyone that googles *can I bring coffee on a school field trip*  is that you should bring the coffee.  No one will take it away from you and I think you are actually encouraged to caffeinate yourself.  Lord knows those Kindergarten teachers had to be drinking something to get through this day!

I also earned myself some major brownie points because I went online and printed out a map of the exhibit which I told the teacher about and she made copies of for all of the other chaperones.  My tip for you is to write your name somewhere on your map so that everyone knows where it came from.  HELL...just print out enough maps for your child's class and hand them out.

The good news is that not only did I get the best looking group of kids to be responsible for on Friday, I also got the most well behaved and quiet group!

This allowed me to look down my nose at the other chaperones whose kids were wrestling, screaming and punching each other in the face.  I frequently told my kids how f**king awesome they were and that when we got back to school I was going to tell their parents to buy them a pony.

More good news....I only lost one kid and it was mine so technically... I didn't lose anyone.  Here's what happened.  We were having a good old time pretending to be astronauts with some weightless rocks and then over the loudspeaker someone announces a special show that will be starting in ONE MINUTE.  I asked my kids if they wanted to go and they said yes and MY KID took off into a crowd of 120 other kids that heard the same announcement.

I found him....obviously.

We had lunch and I decided that whoever put the giant soda machine full of bottled water in the lunch room should be shot.  I would have paid $50 for a soda at that point.

The end of our journey was to go to the planetarium and see a Sesame Street movie about the moon and stars. But first we had to sit in a line for 20 minutes that I dubbed #OccupyKindergartenHell.  MY kids were good.  Other people's kids....were horrible!  One of the chaperones kept asking me to watch her kids while she went to the bathroom.  What was I supposed to say?  

I kept having to tell these kids to sit up, be quiet, stop wrestling and WE AREN'T AT YOUR HOUSE STOP ACTING LIKE IDIOTS!  I asked Alex if I was allowed to put them on the naughty chair and he said he didn't think I was.

It all went really well and we had a great time!  AND I totally needed that bandaid!  On the bus ride of my kids said that her arm was bleeding!  MRS WEISS TO THE RESCUE!  I had a shit load of bandaids in my bag.

I rocked this field trip!

I've also decided that anyone that has a problem with my son's teacher should have to teach the class for a day and THEN come talk to me.


  1. OMG, Connie. You freakin' rock!
    Crack me up, too. LOL!!

  2. I am so glad that things went well for you.

  3. I would have LOVED having you as a field trip chaperone. We need more moms like you. Way to rock it!

  4. Hahaha! Love this. I'm hosting a Winter party for my daughter's class this month with 25 kids. Hold me.

  5. I am the uninvolved parent.
    so tell me...what is a field trip?

    careful...8th grade is a trip to'll need more than coffee for that

  6. You know your kids were the best behaved because they had the best chaperone of course!

    And yea, since it was your own kid totally doesn't count for losing anyone ;)

  7. I'm so glad y'all had a great time. If that had been me I would have totally gotten stuck with the rotten kids.

  8. So glad you had fun :) It sounds like you were the dream chaperone!!!

  9. you are so funny! and so brave! how you did that without a flask is beyond me ;)

  10. I'm so glad it was a good experience for you! You should write a "moms guide to field trips" handbook.

    Advising us to put our names on future maps that we will inevitably print out for our kids field trips...PRICELESS!

  11. You know, Connie, I'd like to take that last line of your post, and suggest that parents do the same for the school secretary. Spend a day doing my job and then tell me how easy it is to keep track of 600 kids and all the little details of their lives and their meds and their homework and their underwear, etc. etc. etc. Working with kids is not for the faint of heart!

  12. i have SO much respect for elementary teachers. they have to have so much patience and understanding.. glad someone does because i'm pretty sure i'd kill the kids.

    glad to hear you survived! xoxo

  13. You rocked your cape!!
    Love that photo of Alex and that little girl, her face is hysterical.
    WTG with the map!


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