Dear Indian Restaurant,
When I called to place an order for delivery at 5:26pm, I did not expect you to make me wait 4 minutes and call back at 5:30pm because you don't deliver until after that. I'm pretty sure it took me 4 minutes to order my food. You are damn lucky that your food is fabulous.
Addicted to Korma
Dear Woman at Gymnastics,
Did you seriously kick your 3 year old out of the car three blocks from home and make her walk because she was being *snotty*? That sounds more like child abuse than this Love and Logic you mentioned. Also, I can't make 20 peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for the freezer for my hungry daughter. She doesn't like peanut butter. She has a high metabolism, needs snacks in between meals and I wouldn't dream of denying her food.
P.S. Do you think perhaps you are over-scheduling your kids? Tumbling, Swimming, Dance AND Rock Climbing? Maybe that's why your daughter is snotty...she's tired!
Mother of the freakin Year
Dear Maintenance Man,
Slow the heck down! I could have killed you today in your little golf cart! Did you notice that it's snowing?
Driver of the Silver Bullet
Dear Washer and Dryer in storage,
I miss you so much. I really missed you this week when Alex got sick and projectile vomited all over every blanket in the apartment. I hope that we will be reunited sooner rather than later.
What the heck? Why don't you like me? I love you and you keep rejecting me. I think we have to break up because I don't like sitting in the bathroom all day.
It's not me, it's you.
Why so irritable?
Dear Immodium that expired in 2009,
Thanks for still working.