Wednesday, October 26, 2011

I'm Just a Little Crabby.

Dear Indian Restaurant,

When I called to place an order for delivery at 5:26pm, I did not expect you to make me wait 4 minutes and call back at 5:30pm because you don't deliver until after that. I'm pretty sure it took me 4 minutes to order my food. You are damn lucky that your food is fabulous.

Curriedly Yours,
Addicted to Korma


Dear Woman at Gymnastics, 

Did you seriously kick your 3 year old out of the car three blocks from home and make her walk because she was being *snotty*?  That sounds more like child abuse than this Love and Logic you mentioned.  Also, I can't make 20 peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for the freezer for my hungry daughter.  She doesn't like peanut butter.  She has a high metabolism, needs snacks in between meals and I wouldn't dream of denying her food.  

P.S. Do you think perhaps you are over-scheduling your kids?  Tumbling, Swimming, Dance AND Rock Climbing?  Maybe that's why your daughter is snotty...she's tired!

Yours Truly, 
Mother of the freakin Year 

Dear Maintenance Man, 

Slow the heck down!  I could have killed you today in your little golf cart!  Did you notice that it's snowing?  

Yours Truly, 
Driver of the Silver Bullet

Dear Washer and Dryer in storage,

I miss you so much. I really missed you this week when Alex got sick and projectile vomited all over every blanket in the apartment. I hope that we will be reunited sooner rather than later.

Love Always,
Connie

Dear Gluten, 

What the heck?  Why don't you like me?  I love you and you keep rejecting me.  I think we have to break up because I don't like sitting in the bathroom all day.

It's not me, it's you.
Connie

Dear Bowel, 

Why so irritable?

Sincerely, 
Connie

Dear Immodium that expired in 2009, 

Thanks for still working. 

Your friend, 
Connie

29 comments:

  1. She made her kid walk home? WTH?!

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  2. the indian place really did that to you? omg what terrible customer service. my nephew is allergic to wheat and eggs so he is on a gluten free diet. i feel so bad for him.

    hope you get your washer and dryer back soon! i hate when i don't have one on hand anytime i need it. it is a deal breaker for an apartment for me.

    xoxo

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  3. Immodium...how I love thee.
    That Indian restaurant is retarded.

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  4. After a day like that, I'd be crabby today.

    I forgot the kids had early release today, so I have a noisy house- can I call you once I get them out the door for soccer?

    ~Becca

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  6. I love how you can make the crappiest week sound hilarious. HUGS!

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  7. Ugh. I'm getting aggravated FOR you. I hope tomorrow's a better day. :o/

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  8. That Indian place is dumb!

    That mom is raising a kid who will completely & totally rebel against her at some point.

    Silver Bullet... isn't that the name of a "play toy" LOL

    Isn't it funny how much you can love & hate a washer & dryer.

    Immodium... ahhhh I love when old medicine works.

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  9. Sorry your tummy is yuck, but maybe the Indian food wouldn't help it much? (LOL? too soon?)

    And...some people's mothers....

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  10. Are these serious Connie?! You are so hilarious :-)

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  11. I fear that someday I will have to break up with Gluten.

    And that mom is dumb.

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  12. Perhaps the Indian food and the Immodium are related? she says, not in ANY WAY suggesting that IN THE PAST she has had to RUN TO THE BATHROOM after eating said food.

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  13. No wonder you are crabby!!! I hope that you and gluten make up someday. Just think of the wonderful reunion that you and washer will have someday soon and as for the Indian restaurant....they are just plain silly!

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  14. a 3 year old? WALK home! that's awful! and mmm now I really want some Indian food!!

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  15. Loved this.

    The Indian restaurant thing baffles me, you should have tried keeping them on the phone those four minutes by making small talk!

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  16. That Mom sounds like Mommy Dearest-- NO WIRE HANGERS!!!! AAAAAAHHHH!!!

    I've got a few blankets and comforter to wash today from my lil' one throwin up in her bed last night.. I feel bad you didn't have a washer/dryer for yours! geesh!

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  17. I can't believe she kicked her out of the car, and heck yeah, she's totally overscheduled! Man oh man!

    That waiting 4 minutes to call back thing was SO dumb of them!!!

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  18. That lady needs kicked for kicking her daughter out of the car and making her walk.

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  19. Sorry to hear Alex was sickeningly sick, sorry to learn you may have to go gluten free, but sorriest for the little kid who had to walk home. And sorry for me that no one ever had to say "she has a high metabolism" and brought me snacks. On a related note: you haven't had Nutella? I was going to say have on crusty bread, but with the gluten issues, straight out of the jar would work just fine. Mmmm.

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  20. You are so cute--even when crabby.

    That mom that made her 3 year old walk needs to be turned in. That's horrible.

    Gluten is a bitch. I'm sorry SHE doesn't love you like the rest of us.

    I am notorious for taking expired medicine. You know why? I NEVER TAKE IT. My mom wanted a sleep aid. I gave her two to choose from. She couldn't sleep. I looked at the expiration date. They expired 3 years ago. Whoops.

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  21. That was awesome! Seriously awesome. I only wish I was cool enough to have a "things that piss me off" category on my blog.

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  22. You have plenty of reasons to be crabby! That lady sounds like one crazy mom - if that 3 year old was at all like mine and many of the other ones I know I am sure she was terrified of having to walk home. So scary. Hope your tummy feels better.

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  23. L A W L !!! LOVED this. Awesome post idea, and really, hysterically funny!! What's up with that mom? Seriously? I'd be terrified if my 3 year old was walking alone. Even for one block. Ugh. And washer and Dryer..yes, been there and done that. Not fun. Anyway, awesome stuff - LOVED reading it!

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  24. What did you say to that Mother? I;m not so sure I would have been able to play nice with her. That poor baby, I'm sure she was as upset as your bowels!

    Feel better my friend!

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  25. What the heck is up with that lady! Seriously making a three year old get out and walk?!?! That is just wrong and scary! Wow. I have had times where I have pretended to start leaving when they would not get in the car, but I have never stopped and kicked them out- and a three year old!!
    Sorry about the gluten thing- that really does not sound the least bit fun :(

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  26. Immodium is a miracle pill, I swear!

    I can't imagine having gluten issues..isn't that in EVERYTHING?

    Hoping you had a better weekend, love!

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I love you. You are my best friend! Your hair looks fantastic today!