Dear Indian Restaurant,
When I called to place an order for delivery at 5:26pm, I did not expect you to make me wait 4 minutes and call back at 5:30pm because you don't deliver until after that. I'm pretty sure it took me 4 minutes to order my food. You are damn lucky that your food is fabulous.
Curriedly Yours,
Addicted to Korma
Dear Woman at Gymnastics,
Did you seriously kick your 3 year old out of the car three blocks from home and make her walk because she was being *snotty*? That sounds more like child abuse than this Love and Logic you mentioned. Also, I can't make 20 peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for the freezer for my hungry daughter. She doesn't like peanut butter. She has a high metabolism, needs snacks in between meals and I wouldn't dream of denying her food.
P.S. Do you think perhaps you are over-scheduling your kids? Tumbling, Swimming, Dance AND Rock Climbing? Maybe that's why your daughter is snotty...she's tired!
Yours Truly,
Mother of the freakin Year
Dear Maintenance Man,
Slow the heck down! I could have killed you today in your little golf cart! Did you notice that it's snowing?
Yours Truly,
Driver of the Silver Bullet
Dear Washer and Dryer in storage,
I miss you so much. I really missed you this week when Alex got sick and projectile vomited all over every blanket in the apartment. I hope that we will be reunited sooner rather than later.
Love Always,
Connie
Dear Gluten,
What the heck? Why don't you like me? I love you and you keep rejecting me. I think we have to break up because I don't like sitting in the bathroom all day.
It's not me, it's you.
Connie
Dear Bowel,
Why so irritable?
Sincerely,
Connie
Dear Immodium that expired in 2009,
Thanks for still working.
Your friend,
Connie
