I'm Home!

We decided to leave early yesterday...okay, Calvin decided to leave early and I silently cheered.  I missed my bed and my house....and I think Alex did too because he started packing up all of our suitcases every day since Wednesday.  That's my boy....

We got home at 11:30pm.  Alex slept for about 72 minutes of the 8 hour trip and the last couple hours I had to occupy him with my iPhone because Mallory was sleeping.  So if you got a text from me late last night...sorry!

Jennifer at Playgroups are No Place for Children did a post last week about her first commenter. It got me thinking about my blogging career. I started the blog (and it had a different name) mainly for friends and family to read...and it showed. My family NEVER leaves comments....so everyday. Crickets.

My first commenter is a friend that I met on a Mommy message board for gals that had babies in April 2006. We are also IRL friends because we met on my way home from Milwaukee last summer. She commented on a post I did about the enormous amount of snow we had in our yard.  Please visit Angie at Kiddos Life and say hi!

My first Spam commenter's name was Jason and he had this to say:

hey, here is the site i was talking about where i made the extra cash......

Thanks Jason!

On February 20, 2008...I discovered Mrs. Fussypants and she helped me FIGHT the FRUMP. Here is my first post where I attempted to improve my situation and my first time mentioning my desire for a sister-wife. I got 12 comments and thought it was freakin Christmas!

And then....there is the post where I met TWO fabulous Utah people.  I was bitching and moaning about not being able to find a bakery to purchase my daughter's first birthday cake....and then apparently, I was bitching and moaning in the comment section of Jennifer at Playgroups are No Place for Children's blog about Utah.  Loralee and Jess saw my comment and came over and introduced themselves.  By the way, Jess....we STILL haven't met in person.

Hmmm....It's looking like I owe Jennifer a beer or two.

Have a GREAT weekend!  I have lots of cleaning and laundry to do.

Much to be Thankful for

Today....I'm thankful to be with my family in a town I love.

Yesterday was a beautiful day.  We shared a new experience with the kids....and they loved it.  We went bowling.

We've been waiting patiently for the kids to be old enough and now they are.  It was so fun to see them get excited and be proud of themselves.

Alex was also a big help to his sister....he got his first strike and beat his Daddy by one point.

It's these times....with my kids and husband that make me so thankful for my life every single day.

Go Broncos!

Wordless Wednesday: Poopa in the Morning

Santa and The Color Purple

Hey everyone! It's been a crazy couple of days...staying really busy and visiting friends. Yesterday was all about the kids! We decided it was finally time for them to meet Santa.  Someone please tell me if not allowing parents to photograph their kids with Santa is the norm?  I refused to pay for their photo packages so I snuck across the way and took my own pictures.

Mallory was too afraid to sit by Santa but when he asked her what she wanted for Christmas she said a Pink Bicycle!  And then he fist bumped her.  That Santa is a cool dude.

Alex had a great chat with Santa about the trains he owns and the one's he wants. I was most impressed that this Santa knows his stuff....Alex said pink train and he knew it was named Rosie.

We also went to the Denver Aquarium in Downtown Denver.  The kids loved seeing all of the fish and were surprised to see Tigers there too.  We had lunch in their restaurant and were able to sit right next to the giant fish tank that takes up half of the eatery.

We ate with the Fishies.

Mallory and I left the boys in the Apple store and we went searching for a purple dress.  She just loves the color purple and wanted a dress to add to her now growing collection.  We hit the mother load in Macy's and she ended up selecting a beautiful dark purple knit sweater.  She was so much fun to shop with and I'm so thrilled that she is my shopping buddy!

We also needed to visit Invesco Field at Mile High because the kids needed some Bronco Gear.  We suspect that we are responsible for the Bronco's decline over the last four weeks because our children didn't have proper attire.

You just wait until Thursday.  GO BRONCOS!

Today...we're going shopping again.  The Target in Ogden was completely sold out of any size 7 shoes for poor Mally (due to the baby boom of 2007) and now I need some boots since I fell in a snow bank yesterday.

Yes Mallory, there is a Santa Claus

If you're reading this....I had drinks with friends last night in Denver!

See this girl. Doesn't she look like a Who From Whoville? Little Mally Lou Who.

Calvin tried to watch Merry Madagascar with her the other night and it didn't go well.  I won't spoil the show if you haven't seen it but there were lots of questions and Daddy got frustrated and deleted the show off from the DVR.

Here are the questions I heard from the kitchen...and Calvin's answers.

What are those?  Animals.
Who's that guy? Santa.
Why's he doing that? Doing what?  Driving a sleigh?
Who's that guy? Santa.
What are those? Reindeer?
Why's he doing that? He hit his head.
Why?
What are those? Presents
Who's that guy? Santa!
What's he doing?

You see Mallory, on Christmas....SANTA delivers presents to ALL of the boys and girls in the world.

Why?  BECAUSE HE DOES!

We're taking her (and Alex too) to meet Santa this afternoon at the Cherry Creek Mall. I'm sure she'll have lots of questions for him....

Oprah Can You Hear Me?

**If you're reading this....I had way too much fun in Downtown Denver with Calvin and Robert last night** 

I've always been one to have goals.  Some may call me a dreamer because I always have these visions of things I'd like to do one day that would be the ultimate amazing life experiences.

Some of these have included, becoming a mother, owning a new car, learning to ski and going to New York City.  Then...there are the really big ones.  The one's that I'm not sure will ever come true because they are very difficult or very expensive or just unrealistic.

Calvin considers my dream to go to The Oprah Show unrealistic because the show is in Chicago and it's not easy to get ticket for.  I still always thought someday...it would happen.

Until a few days ago....when I read that Oprah is quitting her show.  In 18 months, The Oprah Show will be over.  I'm sure that ticket's will now be impossible to get and there is still the issue of having to go to Chicago.

Calvin asked me why I want to do this and my answer is simple.  She saved my life.  The 1990's were a really, really hard time in my life and I often thought the easiest thing would be for me to just die and be done with it.  Life was too hard and I didn't see a way for it to get better.  During that time, The Oprah show was all about self-help and making life better.  Dr Phil and Iyanla Vanzant were weekly guest and they helped me realize that I could change my life.

And I did.

Here's a quote from Oprah:

Winfrey thanked her viewers for sticking with her for almost a quarter of a century. "These years with you, our viewers, have enriched my life beyond all measure," she said. "And you all have graciously invited me into your living rooms, into your kitchens, and into your lives.  And for some of you long time Oprah viewers, you have literally grown up with me — we've grown together.

"So I just wanted to say that whether you've been here with me from the beginning or you came on board last week, I want you all to know that my relationship with you is one that I hold very dear. And your trust in me, the sharing of your precious time every day with me has brought me the greatest joy I have ever known."

If she only knew how much she helped me.....

What's That Smell?

If you're reading this....then I'm in Denver!  WOOT!  

I watched one of those fashion red carpet shows the other night. They were televising the red carpet for the opening of New Moon. I like watching these things because I like clothes and since Rachel Zoe and I have become BFF's I feel like she expects me to sit there with a cup of Starbucks ™ and critique the stars.

I thought everyone looked really nice and I thought it was lovely that Kristen Stewart made an effort and wore a dress but she clearly forgot to wash the shampoo out of her hair. All through the show I was distracted by this guy.

But not because he's hot or anything because DOOD...I'm old enough to be his Mommy, but because when he smiles....he always looks like he just smelled a fart.  I'd never be able to date him because I'd constant think I smelled bad.

I hope you all had a GREAT time at the movie!

Regrets...I have a few.

I'm sitting here crying because I just read a lovely post from Any Mommy, titled Mother's Milk...it's about breastfeeding.  It brought up all kinds of memories and reminded me how mad I am.

Since I reserve the right to use this blog as therapy....feel free to leave right now if you don't want to hear me talk about my (*)(*)  and come back tomorrow. (please come back tomorrow)

I breastfed Alex less than an hour after he was born. It was a struggle at first but once we got home it became easier. He was a hungry little guy and he always made the sweetest little drunk face when he was done.

He became a huge fan of (*)(*) and got his Grandpa Bob to take him to Hooter's when he was only a few weeks old.  Grandpa Bob also bought him a special shirt.

his shirt says I *heart* Boobies!

Since Alex was my first and only baby....I was able to devote huge amounts of time to feeding, cuddling and adoring him.  Those were leisure days of hanging out staring into each other's eyes, daily photo shoots where I dressed him in new outfits and naps.  It was a dreamy time that I'll never forget and always long to return to.


When Alex was about 3 months old, my supply dropped.  I couldn't figure out what was wrong and had to start giving him formula because he wasn't getting enough to eat.  I tried everything I could to bring my supply back...including drinking beer.


Which wasn't the best idea, I discovered,  because the reason for my milk drying up was because I was pregnant again.  And I was devastated that I couldn't nurse anymore.  Our special time each day and him reaching up with his little hand to touch my face...was over. 


I had Calvin take a picture of me nursing him (Alex...not Calvin) one last time and it's a picture I'll cherish forever.


Fast forward 7 months....Mallory is born; three weeks early.  She is jaundiced and requires a bili blanket for  the first week of her life.  She was immediately taken from me when I delivered her and wasn't brought back to my room for 6 hours.  During that time, the nurses had asked my permission to give her formula because she obviously needed to eat and they refused to bring her to me.  Finally, I tried to nurse her and she didn't want anything to do with it.  I tried for hours....


The next morning, the nurses told me to stop because it was better for her to drink formula due to the high levels of bilirubin.  They told me formula would remove it from her body faster and that breastfeeding slows it down.  I believed them and reluctantly stopping trying to feed her...and it broke my heart.


And this is why I'm mad.  Read this quote from breastfeeding-basics.com.

The colostrum and milk she receives will help her move her bowels, speeding up the elimination of bilirubin from her system A sick baby needs the benefits of breastmilk even more than a healthy baby.

I'm mad that the nurses didn't let me nurse her immediately and then lied to me and told me it was better for her if I didn't nurse at all. I'm mad that because I didn't have a good enough reason to hold my new baby constantly for the first week of her life, my mother in law held her instead while I cared for Alex.  I'm mad that Mallory and I didn't get to have that special time together and it took us weeks to really bond.


And I'm mad that I didn't stand up for myself and what I wanted.

Guest Vlogging for a Manic Mother

If you read my hints from yesterday...then you know I had a very important shoot going on at my house. My friend Beth at Manic Mother asked me to give her a day off while she cares for her son who has been battling Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia. I love Beth, and her strength during the last 5 months is so inspiring. I can only hope that I would handle such a situation with as much courage and grace as she has.

I will meet Beth one day. I just know I will....until then, our friendship grows on the internet.

Please go to Beth's blog today to see the production that took place...our guest vlog.

Just a little hint....

I had a really busy day and I'm going to give you a little hint of what I was doing by showing you some of my tweets today. You will get to see what I did tomorrow....at Manic Mother's place.

Oh, and I've had a problem with the scabbing on my skin cancer site....and I realized today that there is a stitch still in my face! I can't believe that she didn't take them all out! I'm beyond upset.

 

 

 

My First Celebrity Crush

I think it's safe to say that I've been obsessed with boys for a long time.  And I've also been obsessed with celebrity boys for an even longer time.

The first poster to ever grace my bedroom walls....Shaun Cassidy.  Hey Deanie was my favorite song and I thought he was the cutest boy I'd ever seen.

And then my fickle heart lost interest in Shaun because there was a new boy in my life.

I fell hard for Michael Jackson...and his poster replaced Shaun on my wall. 

I borrowed this list of firsts from Jennifer at Playgroups are No Place for Children....with her permission.

First memory: Watching Mighty Mouse in a little contraption at the grocery store.

First dog: Smokey....I was two and I called him F*cky.

First memory of being jealous: When Bobbi was born and my parents left me with their friends so my Mom could be alone with her.  Broke. My. Heart.

First time attending Sunday School: I went to a Lutheran Sunday School when I was 5 years old.  I told them my name was Connie Oldham (instead of Olson) and that it was my birthday every single week.

First roller coaster ride: Twister at Eliches in Denver

First time being mistaken for a boy:  Mom cut my long, long hair (it was to my waist) when I was 5 years old....I was such a tomboy that I looked just like a boy.

First huge disappointment: Not making Cheerleading in 8th grade.  I practiced for weeks!! 

First big family vacation: Disney Land when I was 12.

First stay in the hospital:  Had tonsils out when I was 10.

First car: 1976 Red Vega Stationwagon....I could fit 5 girlfriends in it.

First job: Burger King when I was 16.

We Need a Little Christmas

Yesterday, I wrote about not having any Christmas Spirit. I'm sitting here listening to my Christmas playlists from previous years and working on my list of things that needs done. It's working....I think I'm feeling the mojo returning. Plus...Bobbi threatened to cram it down my throat....


I also think getting out with the girls last night really helped recharge my batteries. I met up with  The Real Housewives of Utah, Lauren, Stephanie, Kim and Loralee at Bistro 258 in downtown Ogden and I ate until I was sick! I had the best time....these gals are so much fun and I felt so comfortable and included. A feeling that has eluded me much of the last 3 years. Thanks ladies!  

My friend Liz at Sugarplum Creations had a great idea to link up each week to show the cool crafts and stuff we're doing with our kids through the holiday.  We have elves that will be here on December 1st and they do and bring stuff all through the month.  And I want to do crafts with them this year...I think they are really ready!


My List....

• Figure out gifts....start buying some of them.
• Find and purchase Christmas Ornaments for the kids.
• Find and purchase Christmas Jammies.
• Get boots for Alex
• Buy stocking stuffers 
• List of things for the Elves to do/bring/get into.
• Buy M and M's™ for the Advent Calendar.
• Decide what cookies to make.
• Write Christmas Letter
• Take Christmas Picture of kids
• Mail Christmas Cards 
• Mail Presents
• Put away Fall Decor
• Put up Christmas Decor

I can't believe I forgot to mention a little challenge I'm having at my food blog.  Check it out!

Where Are You Christmas?

NaBloPoMo....Day 14

Operation: Get your @SS ready....Day 6

Here it is November 14th and I'm not in the mood. Usually...Christmas Spirit grips me all through the year but I've lost my Holiday MoJo and I don't know what to do to get it back.

I know that part of the reason...is that my mind set has changed a little bit. I'm not interested in getting my kids a ton of presents....and my family couldn't agree on weather of not we were going to draw names or not. Then Scrooge got involved and told everyone that they were getting family gifts from us.

That's all well and good...except that he won't DEFINE what the hell that means so I still don't have a clue what we are getting everyone. When I see something I think would be cool he says no. It makes it hard to get excited.

And the kids...I really just want to get them one or two things. We need to plan a time to go shopping for them...together. I think once I shop for them and we go visit santa...I'll feel better.

One change from every other year....we will be home for Christmas with NO FAMILY (except Bobbi) with us. Let me tell you...this is a relief. I'm looking forward to being able to prepare WAY less food, and actually concentrate on my children instead of running a hotel and restaurant. It's a lot of work having guests in your home and it will be a refreshing change to not have to deal with that.

I hope the spirit finds me soon.....



In other news, we got the kids' hair cut this morning and when I asked Mallory how she wanted her hair, she said, 'like your's Mommy.' And so we did! She was so good sitting in the chair and she had her first blow dry!

Before...

After....

 

Isn't she darling?

I'm so excited....because I'm meeting a bunch of bloggers for dinner in a little bit.  And I get to meet Loralee's baby boy!

Vlog: Jumpin and Stuff

Thank goodness it's FRIDAY!  But I just realized it's FRIDAY the 13th! AGH!  Yesterday was one of the hardest days I've had in a long, long time.  So bad that when I escaped to the grocery store I almost picked up a flyer for daycare.  You know it's bad when I'm thinking about getting a job.



Jennifer (who made me wear the bow in my hair) See!  I can rock the bow!

Kerri (who turned me on to Burt's Bee Chapstick).  THANK YOU!

Amanda (also known as Shortmama)  I could have jumped higher if the kids weren't weighing me down.



Somebody's Hero

Why being a Mean Girl can bite you in the Butt

NaBloPoMo...Day 12.

Operation: Get Your @SS Ready...Day 4.

I'm going to take advantage of Mama Kat's writing prompts again this week because I'm still afraid of running out of material by the end of the month.  And my brain is feeling kind of mushy....perhaps because I'm not eating enough salmon.  I looked at the choices and I knew this one was for me:

Tell a story about a moment in time when you were so happy you were you and not someone else in the room.

In elementary school...there was a girl that picked on me. We both walked home in the same direction and I always made sure to walk on the North side of the street because she favored the South side.

Most of her verbal attacks on me where made in the restroom (I think I stopped peeing at school around this time) but sometimes she would be jacking around on the way home and I would catch up with her and her friend. They would start yelling stuff at me from across the street and I would walk as fast as I could to get away from them.

After a few years, she moved on to Middle School and I didn't see her again until Jr. High. The first day of third semester, I sat down in my seat for bookkeeping class and I saw her a few rows ahead of me. I always avoided her gaze and it didn't appear that she remembered me so I was so relived.

One day, she walked into class with a jacket tied around her waist and she was crying. I overheard her tell a classmate that she had gotten her period and her WHITE PANTS were stained....and her mother wouldn't come get her. She had to finish out the day with bloody pants.

I was soooo glad that I wasn't her that day and vowed to NEVER wear white pants. EVER.

Karma's a bitch my friends.....

To read more visit Mama Kat.

Happy Veteran's Day

My Ears Are Bleeding!

Bobbi has the day off today because she has to work on Saturday. So I made her asked her if she wanted to go to Joann's with me and the kids and then to lunch. We had a lovely time and managed to distract the children enough that they were not aware that this Mc Donalds had a play area.  I wasn't interested in a free dose of swine flu. 

On the way home....we sang a little ditty.  Mallory flipped her lid...scream at us to stop singing and then Alex said we were making his ears bleed.  I have no idea where they get their dramatics from .  Here's what we were singing.



By the way....I found my notebook! It was in my tote where I keep my unread magazines....I took it to my sick bed last weekend and stashed it in there for safe keeping. It was so safe I couldn't find it.

Also...day two of getting up and getting ready with REAL clothes and make up....working out GREAT!

I hope you're having a great Tuesday!

Have you seen my notebook?

NaBloPoMo....Day 9.

I have an excuse.....for why I'm posting so late today. 

I lost my little notebook.  It's my idea book and it has all of my blog ideas in it and my menu for Christmas and notes about crafts I want to make.  I'm organized to a fault and I can't find it anywhere!

Also...I got an order for altered Clipboards from my dear friend Cari (I can't wait to tell you about Cari's business!) and my printer ran out of ink right as i was getting started.  I order my cartridges online because otherwise they cost more than I paid for the printer and it takes a few days for them to come.  I tried to get Calvin to just buy me a new printer and I could feel him rolling his eyes from 20 miles away.

I decided to turn over a new leaf this morning.  As soon as I got up...I took a shower, put on REAL clothes and some make up.  This new routine is being instituted out of necessity. You see...I rarely have anywhere to go and I live the life of a shut in.  I have a bad habit of staying in my pajamas for a couple days at a time because I'm not going anywhere so why get dressed.  And I intend to take a shower but sometimes the opportunity doesn't present itself until around 3pm and then I think...why bother. 

Teri from Mighty M Family just told me on twitter that I should look for my notebook where Alex tried to hide the popsicles today.  Great Idea!  That's right....you heard me.  Alex tried to hide a box of popsicles in his room since I will only let him have ONE a day.  Little stinker!

So...I sit here with no thought about what to post about accept things that are on my mind.  Like what the hell was Rachel Zoe thinking when she fired Tay-Tay on Friday.  I'm freakin out like a crazy person about it and of course you know I think it is BA Nanas.  

I'm heavily addicted to the song 3 by Britney Spears.  LOVE IT!  I've been playing it over and over again.  And my new rule of thumb is to NEVER look up the lyrics to her songs because they are always different than what I'm singing and are usually something dirty that I shouldn't be singing in the SUV with the children present.

And last but not least....my heart is heavy and I can't stop thinking about Grace Hill. She is the 15 month old baby that was run over and killed in her driveway on Saturday afternoon.  She was playing in the yard with 5 other children while her Dad and a friend were digging a pit with an excavator and loading the dirt into a truck.  The friend ran her over and didn't even realize it.  She died at the scene.  I just can't figure out how this happened? 

Dear People of Utah...

NaBloPoMo....Day 8.  Thanks for the reminder to post yesterday Rachel!

I need to make a statement warn the people of Utah.

If you are wearing your pajama's or something that resembles pajamas...I'm going to photograph you.

If you are wearing a tutu around your waist, with your jeans....I'm going to photograph you.

If you are wearing a shirt that's too small, has a wacky saying on it or your pants are weird...I'm going to photograph you.

If you are wearing boots that also look like tennis shoes....I'm going to photograph you.

And put it on my blog....

If you are wearing a really cute outfit, cute shoes and have a bitchin handbag....I'm going to photograph you.

If you are wearing an adorable jacket...I'm going to photograph you.

And put it on my blog....

Adventures in Shopping...and getting Lost.

NaBloPoMo...Day 7

It was a very busy day....but I'm posting just under the wire. I have some video from our day and I'll probably just add the funny parts to Friday's vlog....cuz I ran out of time so I'm just going to share some pictures with you.

We got up early this morning and went to get donuts. YUM!

Then we went to The Gateway in Salt Lake City. Me, Bobbi and Mallory did some serious power shopping. The funniest thing was when we were in Baby Gap and and Mallory freaked out. She didn't like anything in the store and screamed at me that nothing in that store was her size.  Little Diva!

We saw this in the window at Forever 21....by the way, I need one of these stores to move into my neighborhood because I wanted to go on a serious diet after being in there.

so I made Bobbi re-enact it inside.

We had a great time at Z Gallery.  Bobbi found a book that might prove helpful in figuring out her dogs sexuality.

And I saw a living room/dining room/ bedroom set up that made me want to run away from home and get my own apartment.

And we found some art for my fantasy apartment's bathroom.

We left downtown...and I thought we were going home and then Calvin got a wild hair up his butt and decided we were going to lunch but he got us kind of lost.  Bobbi and I were tweeting each other behind Calvin's back.  It went something like this.

@Connieaw Hubby has gotten us lost.  Bobbi pointed out to him that our fancy SUV has navigation system.  We are still lost.  Send Help.

@Shoegal1975 I'm confused as to why he won't us the navigation system.

@Connieaw This happens every time we come to SLC.  Please help me remember to not let him drive anymore.  I'm glad I brought granola bars.

@Connieaw  Alex wants to know where we are going....I'd like to know that too.

@Shoegal1975  Next time I'm driving!!

@Connieaw We are not LOST...he knows exactly where we are...by the airpot.

@Shoegal1975  His excuses are bullshit.

@Connieaw  Men can't admit when they're wrong.

@Connieaw  M just said it all.  *Oh Damn It*

@Connieaw  I'm going to need a drink when we get to our mythical destination.

@Shoegal1975  Holy Shit!  He found the highway.

@Connieaw  Calvin says we're really close now....I offered to google the address but he doesn't know the name of the place.


We finally made it....a place called Le Luna.  Mexican food...that was just okay and not worth the hassle of driving through the countryside and scary part of town to get to it.  By the way...we ended up in West Jordan which I've never heard of before.

Bobbi...with the giant dirty mind....molested this bear outside of the restaurant.  Alex is all...Get Off My Bear so I can touch it all over and get swine flu!

 We still had some crap craft stores to visit and I had to get home and make a some advent calendar's for my Showcase on Etsy tomorrow!  I just finished a little bit ago.

Bobbi and I watched The Real Housewives of Orange County were shocked to discover that we are opposite teams!  I'm Team Tamra and she is Team Gretchen!  Can you believe it?  I even took the Which Housewife Are You Quiz and I'm Tamra!

Describes me to a T!   I have to tell you...Slade makes my skin crawl!  I can't stand him!  ECK!

Vlog: Fat Mommy in a Little Shirt

I hope you enjoy today's vlog. 

I have such a busy weekend ahead of me.  I have to grocery shop, find a scrapbook store that has CHRISTMAS PAPER (this is harder than you would think) and make more Advent Calendar's for my etsy store.  My poor little store is practically empty because I've sold a bunch of stuff this week. YAY!  Which reminds me....if you wanted me to make an Advent Calendar for your family...please think about getting your order in so I can get it to you before December 1st.

There's a Good Reason why I can't Sleep

I mentioned the other day that I have a list of things to fill the month of November and my quest to NoBloPoMo.  Each day that I think about what to write about, I'm reluctant to use any of my ideas for fear that I will get to November 22nd and have nothing left.  Calvin, I know what you're thinking and stop rolling your eyes.  It is entirely possible for me to run out of things to say.

I decided to make it easy on myself today and use one of Mama Kat's writing prompts.  She had some great one's this week and it was hard for me to pick one but I'm going with....

10 Reasons why you can't sleep at night.

1.  I'm always thinking...which is probably why I'm always talking.


2. Someone....is snoring.


3. Someone...is prowling the house and turning all of the lights on.


4. Someone's nose hurts, is crying and needs medicine.


5. Sex dreams about Bob from The Biggest Loser.


6. Heartburn after drinking a bottle of wine.


7. I get up to pee and then can't go back to sleep.


8. The moon is too bright.


9. The dogs are barking.


10. I can't wait to have a cup of hot coffee.

I've had several comments from people that don't know who Bob is.  A cutie right?  Except for that weird vein in his forehead......

The Real Housewives of Orange County starts tonight!  I'm so excited!  I love most all of them (except Vicki...she drives me BA-NANAS!)

I have a vlog all ready to go for Friday!

Wordless Wednesday: Word Verification

Why I'm QUITTING Magazines

My sadness....has been replaced by MADNESS.

I went to my bank account this morning.  I've been putting it off because I didn't really want to see how much money I spent in Vegas but I've been home for a couple weeks now so...it was time to face the music.

I looked over my charges and saw a VISA purchase for $32 during that weekend that I couldn't recall and all the description gave was a phone number. My first thought was OMG...did I buy a dirty movie?  Or did I accidentally touch something in the minibar?  Did I get a TATTOO? I ran to the bathroom and check myself in the mirror before calling the number and after going through all of these directions so the automated computer system could figure out who I was....I found out I'd been charged for a RENEWAL for Better Homes and Gardens Magazine.  I didn't authorize the charge and I sure as hell didn't want to pay $32 for it.  On their website right now...you can get ONE YEAR for $11.  Basically...for being a subscriber since 2007....they want to STEAL $21 from me.  No thank you.  I want my money back and now....I will never read your stupid magazine again.

Upon further inspection....I discovered ANOTHER charge to my account in early October for $37.34. This time the people trying to steal my money didn't sneak around they had their name right on the charge.  Food & Wine magazine is available for subscription on their website right now for $12 for a year.  And in their defense....it does say that they will AUTOMATICALLY renew your subscription but for $19.99.  So Food & Wine was trying to STEAL $17.34 from me.  No thank you.  I want my money back and now....I will never read YOUR magazine again.

Let this be a warning to you! DO NOT sign up for magazines ONLINE. DO NOT give a magazine your credit card number. Pay by check only!

I'm appalled that magazines are doing this.  I love magazines and I subscribe to A LOT of them.  I think it's time for me to cancel all of my subscriptions and buy a NOOK and read my magazines there. 

I am so freakin mad right now that I need a drink and some awesome Cake in a Cup!


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In other news....I'm switching to bottled water because my kids turned into Vampires last night and wanted to bite my neck.  I have NO IDEA where they came up with this....I'm not a TWILIGHT-AHOLIC.  There is obviously something in the UTAH water.....

I Don't Like Being Sad

I have a list of things I want to talk about this month and I was all ready to pick something from the list this morning and then I got some sad news.  My Aunt Nancy passed away this morning.  I'm sad to say that I didn't know her very well...she was mentally challenged but always remembered who I was and who I belonged to.  Even though I lived so far away, I thought about her often and always enjoyed hearing about how she was doing.  She had been in poor health recently....and now she's in heaven with my Grandpa.

I prayed for my Grandma and talked to my cousin Rachel on the phone and then I felt better.  My only regret being that I live so far away and can't attend the services.  Calvin is out of town all week so even if I could afford the trip...I couldn't go anyway.

I don't like being sad and there is rarely a moment without laughter in my house, especially when Alex is running around the house in Bobbi's high-heeled boots that he calls his tap shoes.  I think he is destined to be in the GLEE CLUB.

Then, I finally saw something to brighten my day!  Jen Lancaster announced the title, book cover and release date for her next fabulous book!

Coming to a bookstore near you May 4, 2010!

Come hell or high water...I WILL attend a book signing this time. If I have to travel to the ends of the earth! AS God is my witness...I will finally meet Jen Lancaster!

Halloween 2009: What Should Have Been

**I just took some Ny.quil...so I hope this post makes sense by the time I get to the end.** 

Once upon a time, in a land far, far away...there lived two little kids that were excited about Halloween.  For weeks and weeks, when asked what they wanted to be...they would always answer a butterfly...and a ghost that scares butterflies.

Being the cheap fabulous mother I am...I ordered wings from E.bay and I took an old off white sheet and cut it up to make a ghost costume. This also seemed like an excellent idea at the time because the Ghost that scares butterflies...was sick. But he didn't have swine flu. The sheet covering the face of the non-swine flu having toddler was a fabulous plan.  Until the sickly toddler decided that he hated the sheet covering his germ covered face and refused to wear it.

Enter Plan B.

The sick toddler's halloween costume from 2008 has been hanging on a peg in his room for a year because  I'm lazy I think it makes a cute decoration.  So we slapped that puppy on, thanked baby jesus that it still fit and called it a day.

It was a beautiful day in Utah...I love watching the sun set.

Mallory told Bobbi at the last minute that she had to dress up as a kitty....she did a good job throwing together an outfit.  I went as a tired, sick Mommy that never gets a sick day. Yeah, I'm bitter...

We had a great time trick or treating!  The kids really got into it even thought the costumes of other kids scared the heck out of Mallory and Bobbi got stuck carrying her around most of the time.  Our last stop was trick or treating OUR house...to see if Daddy who was dressed like Sprockets would recognize them.

Velcome to "Shprockets," I am your host, Dieter

Take this broken wing,  And learn to fly again...

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In my Ny.quil induced haze I just decided to participate in NaBloPoMo.  Some of you may have heard of it before....and wondered what the heck it is.  Trust me, I've wondered the same thing...in fact, I thought it was something naughty for a long time and just recently discovered that it means I have to post every single day in November.  That shouldn't be that hard right?

I'm about to pass out so I'm going to crawl to bed now.

GO BRONCOS!!

EDITED: I forgot to add last night....that I will be drawing all commenters names out of a hat for a PRIZE on December 1st.