Saturday, May 16, 2009

Weekend Update...Manic Housewife

Saturday & Sunday...What a great weekend! The kids got to spend lots of time with Nana, Poopa, AnJew and Bobert! The kids did great in the car (thanks to the in car entertainment system) and we came home all excited to try to find a job in Denver.

Monday...Calvin sent off a resume! I started packing and looking for a house. Already, you say? Yes. Already. This is how I roll! I'm motivated and excited. Thank god we don't have more boxes or half the house would be packed by now. Decide liquor cabinet needs decluttering and have a couple drinks in the middle of the day. Basil is coming up nicely.

Tuesday...A more detailed resume is requested from Calvin. I called the Moving company, cancelled my newspaper subscription and the plans for my recession garden. Got an awesome package in the mail from Denise at EatPlayLove. Mallory learned her ABC's and wants to me to Sing ON* Her all day long.

Wednesday...Trash Day! Failed to win the Colorado Lottery so I throw away half of our belongings when I realize that the housing market in Denver is out of control overpriced and we will only be able to afford a 2 bedroom townhouse. I made Apple Peanut Butter Sandwiches that were a huge hit.

Thursday...I realize I packed my underwear. Decide to buy new undergarments at Target the next day instead of unpacking it. Don't want to send the wrong message to the universe. Start working on my Vision Board. Make an Executive decision not to shop for food so that we don't have to throw anything out when we move. Kids have been eating lots of eggs, cereal, Spam and expired juice boxes. I unearth a package of mystery meat from the freezer and the kids immediately start making me a grocery list. We order pizza and Alex answers the door without his pants on. I am now THAT Mom.
Mallory wrote down what Alex said we needed

Friday....I text Calvin every 30 minutes asking if he has heard anything about the job. He eventually turns off his phone. Me and the kids go on our first outing to Target alone. Alex walks with me nicely through the entire store until we get to the bakery and he sees the Donut case. Throws huge freaking tantrum on the floor until a super nice Mom with 5 kids enlightens me to the FREE COOKIE stand! God.Bless.Her! Stop at Mc Donald's for crack Iced Coffee and find out they are marketing to children now. Mallory cheers!

Saturday...Weeded stupid flower bed in front yard and vow not to plant another f**king thing there because I can't keep up with the weeds. Buy some storage containers at Wal-Mart so I can continue packing organizing. Meet my friend Monica at the nursery to buy a couple tomato plants for now defunct Recession Garden and decide to plant an Artichoke plant in the front flower bed because it will grow 6 feet tall and 4 feet wide. F**k You Weeds! Stop at liquor store and buys lots of wine.....

Potty Training Update. The plan to reward the boy with pieces of Thomas the Train crap has failed miserable. He refuses to go potty and when I ask him if he wants {insert Train Name here} he tells me that he has enough train stuff. So....a new shirt is being made.

Will NOT Poop For Thomas

* Mallory says Sing ON Me instead of Sing WITH me! It's so stinkin cute!


  1. OMGosh, I sooooo know where you are in the "pack-before-you-have-a-plan-or-anywhere-to-go" syndrome!! I was there when trying to move back home from Portland!

    I am so excited for you! Please keep us posted on all the news!

  2. Wow, busy week!

    That's too bad Alex can't even be bribed to potty. I thought every kid was bribable.

  3. I *heart* these posts! You crack me up!!! And it just hit me that your kids are named after "Family Ties" characters! Or it could just be a coincidence, but either way I am digging the 80's connection!

  4. Kristen....My husband is a freak about the internet and he won't let me use the kids' real names anymore.

    My favorite show growing up was Family Ties!

    Calvin's name comes from his underwear...Calvin Klein.

  5. Oh my goodness, this was the funniest post I've read in a long time! I loved reading it... OMG, you are ONE BUSY WOMAN! How are you holding it all together? So exciting, though!

  6. OMG I seriously laughed my a$$ off through that entire post! HAHA! You need to be looking for jobs in Atlanta NOT Denver. Can you imagine the good times that would be had by all if you lived here? "I have enough train stuff" hahahahaahah Love him!

  7. Toddler Child refuses to use the toilet too. Potty training will be my summer project. I need to wait until the two older boys are finished with school.

    I'll keep a good thought for the Denver job!

  8. OK, have you seriously started packing and stopped buying groceries? You have lost your mind, girl!

  9. I love the lineup of shoes! Your description of Alex answering the door without his pants made me laugh so hard! We've all been THAT mom one or 20 times! Poor heart. You must be stressed beyond words. Speaking of words, according to your chart there, I don't love you at all because I haven't commented in forever, but I DO! I DO! Gotta work my way up the ranks! ;)

  10. I have not really started packing. But I have been decluttering and organizing like a mad woman!

    It has been a week and we haven't heard from the company. I'm totally bummed and taking it out on a tub of chocolate chip cookie dough. Hubs is going to send a follow up email today. *fingers cross*

    Lori...we would be totally dangerous together in Atlanta. When I'm a rich and powerful blogger...I'm going to visit you!

    Simplicity...I know you love me!

  11. One time I answered the door without a bra on and, I swear, the pizza guy dropped forty dollars on the front step when he was getting my change out of his pocket. So I'm THAT mom, LOL.

    I hope Calvin hears back on the job soon! We should get together again before you move.

  12. What a week! That was hilarious. I am sending good vibes your way that you make it back to Denver before you run out of groceries ;)

    Z's potty training is also a mess! I think I have messed him up for life (made him finish a poop on the toilet as he cried :(). He has many dry runs but has only actually gone 2 times. I hate potty training...I spend half of our life in the bathroom.


I love you. You are my best friend! Your hair looks fantastic today!