Thursday, March 12, 2009

A Rock and A Hard Place

Tell about a time you hurt somebody that still bothers you to this day.

There have been a few times in my life when I have had a best friend that I felt was like a sister to me. I met Denise because the man I was dating was working for her husband's construction company. We immediately clicked and for the next 10 years she would be the person I looked to for friendship, comfort, fun and advice. She would end up standing up for me when I married my ex-husband and she was there when it all fell apart.

Late one night, as I often did...I went to a bar looking for my ex-husband and I found Denise's Jeep in the parking lot. I parked behind it and went up to the window....but she wasn't the one inside. It was her husband and he was with another woman. I panicked, got back in my truck and left.

The next day, I was told by my husband that I was forbidden from telling Denise what I saw. Her husband had threatened his job and we couldn't afford for him to lose it. I felt terrible each time I saw or talked to her and wanted so desperately to tell her what I knew. And each time I saw HIM, he would leer at me because he knew that I wouldn't expose his dirty little secret.

For months....this went on. Keeping this from my friend was tearing me up inside....and I didn't know how I could go on with this information in my heart. Denise's husband didn't make it any easier for me. He treated her badly and finally he did something that allowed me to break my silence.

He hit her.

I couldn't stand by any longer and I told her the whole story! I was so conflicted because Denise had two small children with this man and she was going to forgive him....but once I told her the truth she made a decision to leave.

I have always felt so badly that I hurt my friend by withholding this information, that I didn't protect her and that she had to endure months more abuse from this man. It taught me to always listen to my gut. If it feels wrong...it usually is.

The good news is that Denise went on to marry a wonderful man and have a beautiful daughter with him.



This post is part of Mama Kat's Weekly Writing Assignment. Click here to see the prompts, pick one and join in! Click here to see what everyone picked.

18 comments:

  1. This is a really valuable story. Thanks for sharing. It must have been difficult to be put in that position. Good for you for telling her!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Oh, that's a tricky one. You did the right thing and what a wonderful ending! And what a big fat prick.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I am glad you told her in the end. You must be a great friend. I can't imagine the guilt you felt during those few months.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Wow. That was a rock and a hard place. Sounds like your friend's ex-hubby was a jerk and eventually it was able to get resolved. But that would stink to have to keep that from your friend.

    ReplyDelete
  5. So glad you finally told her and good for her for moving on.

    ReplyDelete
  6. That was an icky situation.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Oh Connie, how hard that must have been! Telling her was a brave thing to do. I am so glad that she went on to have a happier life.

    XOXO
    Jen

    ReplyDelete
  8. That must have been terrible! Your poor friend... I'm glad she's out of the relationship and happy with her new and improved husband.

    I think you helped her more than hurt her.

    ReplyDelete
  9. That is one of those situations where you never truly know what you would have done unless you had actually been there. I am so glad she got away from that guy and met someone wonderful.

    ReplyDelete
  10. I would have done exactly the same thing. What a tough situation.

    ReplyDelete
  11. It can be so hard to be caught in that position. I once had to watch as a friend went through the discovery that his wife of 33 years was having an affair with his lifelong best friend. There is nothing you can say or do that seems adequate.

    ReplyDelete
  12. I have been in that situation, too. Only it was my good friend who was cheating on her husband and she made me keep her secret. I had to listen to her stories about this other guy every day. It was so hard because I liked her husband and respected him. It ended up killing our friendship because I realized I couldn't be friends with someone like her or keep the secret any longer. I am glad you finally told her..you did the right thing. It sounds like she is so much happier now, too. So Yay for happy endings!

    ReplyDelete
  13. Wow, unbelievable story. You were in such a hard place, but I think you did the right thing. And as they say, all's well that ends well.


    I actually just came by to tell you that the randomly-selected winner of the Cheesecake Factory gift certificate is Joy from Joy to the Blog. Thanks so much for entering my giveaway, and for becoming a follower! I hope you enjoy my blog! I try to visit at least 2 of my followers daily to spread comment love so I’ll be seeing you soon!

    P.S. Come visit for my best giveaway ever from March 23rd-26th!

    ReplyDelete
  14. I remember him, he was an asshole!

    ReplyDelete
  15. wow, tough one. The best part is you did tell and there was even a happy ending. I hope I am never faced with such a dilemma!

    ReplyDelete
  16. There was no good answer there. You handled it really well, and you may have saved her life!

    ReplyDelete
  17. I'm so glad you finally told her! That must have been agony to keep it from her. And what a jerk of a man!!

    ReplyDelete
  18. dude, i've done so many shitty things that i cannot even repeat most of them. i'd be absolutely mortified.

    this was a good story.

    ReplyDelete

I love you. You are my best friend! Your hair looks fantastic today!