They Say It's Your Birthday!

It didn't take me long to be excited about having another baby but also scared out of my mind. A few weeks after I found out I was expecting, Calving accepted a job in Utah so we packed up and moved. We lived in a hotel for 3 long weeks.

The next 5 and a half months would go by in a flash. Before I knew it, I was 36 weeks pregnant and I was in so much pain I could barely walk. I didn't realize just how hard it is a for a body of advanced maternal age (35) to be pregnant for 17 months....almost in a row. I felt like an elephant!


At my 36 week appointment, I told my doctor that Mallory was coming that week and he laughed at me. He didn't know about my special *gift* and I didn't know if I could make it another 3 weeks. I was also really worried that I would be giving birth in the hallway of the hospital because there was a baby boom going on in Ogden. Every week there were 50-60 births announced in the paper. I was told that there had been lots of camping going on the summer before....

On the morning of March 15th, I awoke with horrible pain in my back and pelvis and I was sick to my stomach. I felt dizzy and like I was going to throw up. I coughed and peed my pants! (this is a common occurrence when I am pregnant) I laid on the couch wondering how I was going to take care of Alex in this condition and started thinking about when I had peed my pants earlier and wondered if my water had broken. I called my doctor's office and they told me to come to the hospital. I called Calvin and told him to come home...but we had a problem. We didn't have anyone to watch Alex...my mother in law was planning to come from Denver closer to my due date but this was too early. Amazingly, a co-worker of his agreed to watch Alex overnight! Never mind that we barely knew these people....

We arrived at the hospital around 11am and I was tested and hooked up to monitors. It turned out that I had indeed peed my pants and not broken water but I had a fever and my heart was racing. They decided to monitor me.

At 3:30pm, someone came in and told me that I had an infection in my uterus and I was going to be induced. Three different people came in to install an IV but I was so dehydrated that no one could find a vein. Finally, an Anesthesiologist came and rescued me from my fate as a human pin cushion.

They started Pitocin at 6:30 pm.....I was 2 CM dilated. Calvin finally showed up after dropping Alex off at Tracey and Brian's house and we watched TV. I tried like crazy to watch Ugly Betty but the contractions were kicking my ass. At 7:50pm...I got my epidural. I was sitting there joking around with the Nurse and the Anesthesiologist and then he stuck me with the needle and everything started to go black. The epidural caused my already low blood pressure to plummet even further and they spent the next 30 minutes trying to bring everything back to normal. I could hear Grey's Anatomy starting on the TV and I was irritated that I was going to miss it! Calvin would tell me later that I was in and out of consciousness....while I thought I was awake. Needless to say, this little turn of events scared the hell out of him.

Mallory's heart rate increased so they upped my Pitocin to speed things along but I stalled at 4CM. At 2:30am they broke my water and then I stalled at 6CM. At 5AM a new nurse (that I hated) came on and I asked her to check me but she wouldn't. I had not been checked since 3:30am and I was sure that I had progressed because my epidural had been wearing off and I could feel some of the contractions. No matter how much I insisted...she refused.

At 6:30am, she finally decided to check me and she yelled 'Oh no! You are 10 CM and your baby is in the birth canal!' There was a flurry of activity while they called my doctor and prepared the room for Mallory's arrival. And then she told me to HOLD MY LEGS TOGETHER because she could see Mallory's head. At this point, if my baby wouldn't have shot out of my vajayjay...I would have kicked her in the freakin head!

Finally....my doctor walked in the door and sat down between my legs.....then he noticed the camera that Calvin was holding and said he had one just like it and they decided that this would be the perfect time to discuss the pros and cons of the Nikon. I tried my best to bring them back to attention by informing them that I was having a baby and that my poor little girl had been sitting in my birth canal for 30 minutes!

I pushed 5 times and she was out! They laid her on my stomach and even though she was crying her head off and covered in white goo....I knew she was the most beautiful baby I had seen in at least a year.

Mallory Tressa Weiss was born at 7:09 am on March 16th , she was 6 lbs 10 oz and
19 inches long.

When they took her to be examined they discovered that her glucose levels and body temp were low so she spent 6 hours in NICU....and then the next 24 hours she had to have her foot pricked constantly to test her blood sugar levels. Her poor little feet where covered in little round band aids when we took her home.

At 1:30pm, they finally brought her back to me and she didn't want to breast feed. They had given her formula and she was rejecting my nipple. I can't tell you how vexed I was that she spent her first 6 hours away from me sucking on an artificial nipple!

Further testing revealed that she was extremely jaundiced and would require a bili blanket for 7 days. So, again...I was discouraged from breast feeding because formula helps the toxins leave the body faster. I was so sad....

I am not a good patient because I hate hospitals but this place was the worst. I ran out of giant mesh panties and pads and it took an hour to bring me more, I was not given pain meds until I asked for them and then when my doctor was checking me out before being discharged...I found out they were supposed to be giving me antibiotics for my infection but they had not! I threatened to escape if they did not release me and let me take my baby home. They made us stay over night and then let us go Saturday after they forced me to eat some of their god awful food and a piece of pie.

And then I went grocery shopping.

I was filling my prescription and the pharmacist asked me when I gave birth...and then gave me a hard time for already doing my grocery shopping when I had just given birth the day before. I explained that I had a house guest arriving and I had meals to prepare....it's what Martha Stewart would do.

Mallory was such an easy baby and once she arrived we couldn't figure out how we lived without her.