Thursday, March 31, 2011

Just like an episode of Law & Order

I finally felt well enough today to venture out.

Well, and we ran out of off to the store we went.

Before I even got out of my complex...I see three LAPD cars.  Three seems like a big deal, don't you think?  I'm freaking out just a little bit.

I call iKeith to inform him of this development.  I get voice mail.

As I'm pulling into a parking spot at King Soopers, there is a man in a black baseball hat with a goatee just standing by a car.  I waited for a moment to see what he was going to do and he walked past my SUV and across the parking lot towards a woman loading her groceries into her car.

He looked sketchy.

As we walked in...I watched him kind of hanging out near this woman, but he didn't seem to be talking to her.

I encountered one of those buggy chaser/bagger people as we entered the store and I told him about the sketchy guy wandering the parking lot.  He said he'd tell security about him.  I described him in great detail and then explain that I watch Castle.  He didn't seem impressed

Our shopping was uneventful and we bought brownie mix.

As the kids were riding the mechanical bull horsey....I turn to see scary/sketchy guy BEHIND ME!

He bought a soda and walked back out to the parking lot.

I was putting the kids and my groceries in the car when I saw him still milling around the parking lot.  The car next to me parked too close so I couldn't buckle Mallory in from the outside so I had to crawl into the backseat to buckle both kids.

That was when the wind blew the door shut!

Does your car have those handy child safety locks so that your kid can't open the door while you're driving down the road?

I was locked in the back of my car!!

Crap!  I know how this turns out!  I've seen Law & Order!  Sketchy all pumped up on Mountain Dew is going to car jack me and kidnap us!!   I knew what I had to do.  I had to put on my big girl panties and save my family!!

And that's when I discovered I'm a little bit too fat to climb into the front of my car from the backseat....I might have gotten high centered and pulled a muscle in my ass.

Thank goodness we bought brownies.....

Note: If you are paranoid like's a good idea to test your ability to scramble into your front seat before purchasing a vehicle.


  1. Oh geez. You know what? That guy WAS sketchy. He was gonna get you! He sensed that you were on to him though!

  2. That is quite a day! Glad you're home safely with brownies now :)

  3. Girl, I just giggled maniacally over "I might have gotten high centered and pulled a muscle in my ass" -- you crack me up!

    I'm totally paranoid like you. My brother is amused by how overprotective I am when I'm out with HIS kids -- I'm super, super cautious and protective (I blame all those years of watching "Criminal Minds").

    Glad y'all got home safely!

  4. I only laugh because I have been in similar situations. And it is at this time that I am thankful that I have a van b/c my ass can get from the back to the front (with a lot of effort).

  5. OMG! I tell on sketch people too.

  6. This has not happened to me yet. Yet. I really appreciate the tip about knowing my front seat scrambling abilities...I'll have to start a monthly drill!

  7. I totally watch people like that and wonder what is going on with them. I'm sure cynical and never trust anyone. Some might call that paranoid, but I just tell them to shut the hell up.

  8. ha, ha!! Oh, I'm dying ... that is so funny!!! Probably b/c we've all been in somewhat similar situations at times. I've injured myself many times having to climb from the front of the car to the back and vice versa. My hubby likes to drive like a jackass when I'm mid-stride. Such a nice man.

    Side note ... I love Castle. LOVE it! Although Criminal Minds is the show that makes me paranoid about EVERYTHING. My kids and I were leaving the mall a few weeks before Christmas ... it was dark ... I swear I was about to have a heart attack. It was time to lay off the crime dramas for awhile. ;o)

    Sorry about your milk in the back of your car. How soon can you get rid of that car???? ;o)

  9. Freakin hysterical!!! I would have been scared too and I can just see myself having a panic attack while I'm stuck between the front and back seat! Glad you mad it home ok and I hope you enjoy your brownies because you deserve them!

  10. I just read the post to Paul and nearly choked to death when you mentioned the part about moving up to the front seat. LMAO!

    AND Law&Order: SVU is my guilty pleasure. I watch re-runs in my bed until I fall asleep. Paul HATES the 'DoinkDoink'LOL! Now I can play it allofthetime. HA!

  11. I so needed that laugh! I know I've said it before but I'm saying it again, you're a hot mess!

    I am so very unobservant. I got my best friends eye color wrong filling out one of those damned email surveys. Our friendship hung in the balance for a few days, good thing she's forgiving!

  12. hahahahaha, great story Connie. I think any guy in a baseball hat is creepy. It's probably why I'm single, I just think all men are creepy.


    Glad to hear you're starting to feel better, I hope you're as good as new by the weekend!

  13. What a day darlin'! Not quite the low-key, milk purchasing kind of outing you were hoping for when trying to get back on the mend, I suppose.

  14. OMG...that is a crazy story! I got locked in the back with Z last week. S and C walked into the house and there we were, stuck in the back. Thankfully I had Z and he climbed into the front but I can imagine the scene if I had had to do it. I am sooooo paranoid like you, LOVE the Doink Doink :)

  15. I'm happy to know I'm not the only one who keeps an eye out for strange happenings and weird men lurking in the wrong places.

  16. Connie, you have me cracking up so hard, I actually snorted.
    I watch ALL those shows and I am JUST like you with people. Even when I'm out with Bill I say to him "CGA" which stands for "Creepy Guy Alert" and I memorize what they look like, what they are wearing, whether they have facial hair, etc.
    My husband says I'm a lunatic and I tell him just bacause you're paranoid, doesn't mean they aren't out to get you!!

  17. Loved this. I've totally had to climb from the back seat to the front because of child safety locks!

  18. Since I only caught part of this story on your Hey Tell, I loved hearing the rest......

    Doink, Doink.


  19. Yes Breast Friend. I HEY TELLED you moments after it happened!!


I love you. You are my best friend! Your hair looks fantastic today!