Sunday, November 14, 2010

I'm Moving On

You shouldn't have to sacrifice who you are just because somebody else has a problem with it. ~ Carrie Bradshaw

I have the most amazing friends. I want to thank all of you that commented on my post and sent me emails on Friday. I've read all of the messages at least 50 times and written at least 10 pages in my journal.

You all had such great things to say and the overwhelming message was...no one has the right to dictate what I can write about.  This is my life and as long as I'm not naming names....I should be able to use this blog as my journal, therapy and way of staying in contact with my friends.

On Friday...I sent emails to the people in my life that I'm having a disagreement with and made all my feelings known.  We are at an impasse.   I am not willing to negotiate because ultimately....I'm protecting the wellbeing of my children and myself.

These last few years of fighting, struggle and disagreement have been really hard on me.  I've gained weight, I'm not sleeping and I can't be the best Mother and Wife to my family with this going on.

I barely lived through having a relationship with an alcoholic (my second husband) and I refuse to do it again.  It might be different if it was just me....but there are two little lives to consider.  In fact, I'm the only one that's worried for them.  My job is to give them the best life.  I take that very seriously!

As of today, I'm putting the past behind me.  This issue that I'm not allowed to blog about is too serious for me to back down, and I can't put anymore energy or time into it.  My children deserve to have a happy, relaxed and fully present Mommy.


Maybe the past is like an anchor holding us back. Maybe, you have to let go of who you were to become who you will be. ~  Carrie Bradshaw



Thank you for helping me realize that all I have to be is me.  And that if other people don't like it...they can suck it like a juice box!


ME 
I've changed my hair, my clothes, almost
Everything about myself
I can't believe I tried to be somebody I'm not
For someone else, yeah
It took finding you to finally understand
What it's like to be loved for who I am

Me
That's all I have to give
What you get is what you see, yeah
No second guessing, no pretending
With you, all I ever have to be is me

I can laugh or cry, don't have to hide
The way I feel
Rain or shine, by my side proving we've got
A love that's real
An old pair of jeans or an evening gown
You still see the same girl that you found

Me
That's all I have to give
What you get is what you see, yeah
No second guessing, no pretending
With you, all I ever have to be is me

Me
That's all I have to give
What you get is what you see, yeah
No second guessing, no pretending
With you, all I ever have to be is me
All I ever need to be, oh yeah
All I ever have to be is me

Faith Hill

24 comments:

  1. It wouldn't let me comment a minute ago (some internal error). But I really want to say, Yeah YOU! Making your intentions clear especially to yourself is very important.

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  2. Yes! Good for you! You keep on doing what you do best...and you take care of your children and family because they are FIRST. God gave you children so that you can shepherd them. Take care of them. If that includes cutting people out of your life to do that...then that's what you do! :)

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  3. You are an amazing person and a great mom. I am thankful you are my friend.

    You do what is best for you and your kids and forget the rest.

    (((HUGS))) Love You for just who you are.

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  4. I am so glad you got this figured out.

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  5. you RAWK! Keep on going, girl.

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  6. Not this post? I love! You are who you are and no one has the right to take that away from you.

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  7. I'm so glad. And you're right, we ~ as moms ~ are supposed to protect our children. That is our job. Good for you, sweetie!

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  8. Connie - you approach life with such grace and humor and honesty...the internet it a better place for having you in it. Much love to you and the little ones!

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  9. I'm glad you stood up for yourself! You're right, you need to do what's best for your girls and they deserve the best you they can get!

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  10. Anytime one can find wisdom in Carrie Bradshaw quotes, I give a thumbs up! :)

    Keep moving on lady! No need to ever look back at stupid :) haha!

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  11. You can only do you best, and you always do!

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  12. Good for you!!! One day your children will thank you for being authentic and taking care of them first!

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  13. I am so glad to hear you LOUD & CLEAR!! Commit to this and don't back down no matter what ANYONE says to you!!!

    ~Becca

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  14. To me, it sounds like you are exactly spot on! You cannot hide yourself in a situation like this. This is when it is most important to stand up and be who you are...and you have lots of blog friends that will help you get through the rough patches! The world deserves YOU :))

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  15. Good for you!!! My mom has always told me "you just be the best you you can be." It's all we can do. I like the quote from Carrie "let go of who you were to become who you will be." That's good!

    Hope you're having a great day!♥

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  16. Connie,
    You are in my thoughts and prayers and you are NOT alone. I wish you strength and I applaud you for making a difficult choice to give yourself and your beautiful kiddos a chance to be the best people you can be. Stay strong. No one can walk your path for you but that doesn't mean you have to walk alone.
    With my heart,
    Traci

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  17. And in this corner we have CONNIE....

    My moneys on you!

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I love you. You are my best friend! Your hair looks fantastic today!