Friday, November 12, 2010

The Real Me...

I'm a good person...and if you don't like it... you can suck it like a juice box! ~ Amber


In the 3 years that I've been blogging.....I've always prided myself on being honest and not sugar coating anything. I think readers appreciate when you are sharing a part of yourself and I believe that's why I've made so many friends.

When I have shared many parts of my life, I protect the innocent guilty by not using their names or faces. You all don't really know my family, where they live or what they do. It's not like you'd walk down the street and run into them.

This blog has been a form of therapy for me. Much, much needed therapy because my life isn't all rainbows and lolly pops.

I've shared so much of myself here and I've appreciated all of the support so much. Being able to come HERE to talk to my friends and write things out. I've shared the good, the bad and the ugly.

I can't do that anymore. Someone has a problem with it. (P.S. it's not my husband)

All my life I've struggled to be myself. But that has never been good enough. I didn't become a pilot, I didn't go to the Air Force Academy, I didn't become an Air Traffic Controller. I really wanted to be a hair dresser....that wasn't good enough.

Over the years, I haven't been enough for other people either and they've tried to change my speech, my clothes and my attitude.

I just want to be myself but I can't do that here. People are watching.

I will still be posting but it won't be personal. I don't know what it will be really? I'm still trying to figure out how I can be me without upsetting people.

This is the last time that you'll be hearing from The Real Me....

For many years now....I've been trying to put this broken plate back together.  I'm good at crafts and I'm a perfectionist so I try really hard and I use good glue. It seems like it's going back together and I'm hopeful that it's going to hold.  

Parts of the plate have been missing but they show back up again and the pieces fit back together but there are piece that shattered and little slivers that are gone that make it not fit right.  Pieces that I'll never get back.....

Another part of the plate seems to fit back together but the glue becomes weak and the piece keeps falling off...no matter how I try to get it to fit.  Each time it comes off...it's harder to put back in.

Finally.  I realize that the plate is just broken and it can't be fixed.  But I can't figure out if I should just put it in a box or throw it in the trash.


It actually hurts my heart to look at this plate and know that I can't fix it.



26 comments:

  1. Really? I am so sorry to hear this. You should still write about the real you. I am censored on my blog too, because so many members of my family read it, and other people in my 'real life' that there are certain topics that will always remain 'off-topic' on my blog, which sucks... but I still write about me, and with full honestly. I hope you continue to blog about you, too. xo

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  2. I have to censor myself too because so many people read my blog. I'm still honest but leave out the stuff that might hurt someone. So, I choose to write about the more positive things. I'm similar to that in real life too but there are times that I would like to unleash the other side of me. The side that tells it like it is. I wish my blog could be more therapeutic and I could write about the stuff I wish I could say. I toy with the idea of starting an anonymous blog without telling anyone! I can understand where this person is coming from but this blog is yours and you should write what you want. As long as you don't discuss this person, I see no problem being personal.

    By the way, I think the real you is more than good enough!

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  3. I'm sad...and flattered ~Amber xo

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  4. Nooooo...Connie, your blog is one of my favorites. It is evident that you are being yourself in the blog and it makes it a great read. You are also very funny! Your "boyfriend" at McD's vlogs are really hilarious. Anyway...I don't think you have ever revealed any personal family issues - other than the fact that you may be having a disagreement. Who doesn't with their family? If someone has a problem with it, they should just stop reading YOUR blog. It is yours - no one else really should have a say about it. I even came out of lurking mode to say - don't change - you are awesome!

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  5. I agree with Loukia - you can still be yourself but just keep some topics off the table. I have to do that too. There are so many posts I'd love to write but never will because I know they will hurt feelings (often in ways that I find ridiculous - but what can you do?)

    You can also protect some posts and forward the password to a specific list.

    I don't know - I just think that there is so much on here that doesn't hurt anyone, but makes people laugh and inspires them to find joy in the little things. That's what I take away from your writing.

    Much love to you.

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  6. I don't like this one bit. I understand, but you also need to remember this is YOUR space not theirs! "They" can choose to not read it rather than silence you. Love you!

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  7. I don't like this news, but you must do what is best for yourself and your family. I'd like to make a motion that you create another, sneakier, snarkier blog and don't tell anyone but a certain Special Contingent about it. Of which, I would be a member, obv.

    But seriously - do what you think is best.

    XO

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  8. Oh Connie, this post made me sad! :( I love the real you! But I will also love the censored you too! I also have to not write about certain topic's because I don't want others to be upset, and then their are others in my life that read my blog that I don't want to know my business so I choose not to write about it, but it is a shame because then others miss out. But it is what it is. I hope you know how great I think you are and I hope it all gets better soon. xoxo

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  9. This does not make me happy at all. No one should be able to dictate you what you can and can't write about yourself. I'm very real as well and I write about my real feelings. I try to limit myself to things that are about me when it comes to something painful, but I do not by any means censor myself or be fake because someone might think that a different me is a better me. I'm fine the way I am and anyone that doesn't like it can just F* off.

    I hate that someone is making you feel this way. This is your space and I think you should write what you want in it.

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  10. Join the rest of us with spies and get a blog that allows certain posts to be password protected.

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  11. Please don't take away the real you :( I ♥ LOVE ♥ the real you!

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  12. I am confused by this. I don't understand and I don't like it.

    Who is being mean to you and changing you? I want to make them stop.

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  13. Why are you letting someone else dictate what and how you write? I don't get it. T doesnt like everything I write about but she is my wife and says it my blog. My parent complain I curse too much, I tell them to kiss my ass. I wonder why someone wouldnt want you to be yourself?

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  14. Say it isn't so. I so enjoy your honesty and candor on your blog. I understand though and you have to do the right thing even if we (readers) don't like it :-) Hugs!

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  15. So sorry to hear this!!! Can you start a new blog. You'd let us all know where to find you but not those who you don't want to know. Hmmm, that may be tricky!

    I'm sorry for whatever it is.

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  16. Oh, this makes me sad ... Connie, I'm sorry you are going through more drama ... :o( Hugs ...

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  17. But I just found youuuuuuuuuuu!
    MSG me.

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  18. I'm sorry to hear this, Connie. I love your blog and all that you've shared with us. I hope you'll still share with me :)

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  19. Darn you guys that don't have emails that I can respond to!!

    I *think* I've found a solution to my problem. For one thing...there are people in my life that I gave an ultimatum to today...and they declined to accept it. Apparently blood is not thicker than Vodka.

    And number two...I've changed to a partial feed so that the person that is so offended...can't read unless they click through and then from my stats...I'd know they'd been here.

    Thank you all so much for your support today...and for those of you lurkers that came out. I love you!

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  20. But I love the REAL you!! Please don't change for someone else- stay EXACTLY who you are!!!

    ~Becca

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  21. This makes me sad. :( Tell whoever it is to suck it like a juice box and keep on doing what feels best for YOU.

    Just saw your other comment - I noticed the partial feed this morning. Whatever you decide I'll keep on reading. And I love the quote below your header!!

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  22. Connie, God doesn't make mistakes and he certainly didn't make one when he made you. Be true to yourself, always, and you won't regret it.

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  23. I'm not sure what words I can offer as my site is new & when I involve other people my posts tend to focus on light things. One thing I do know & believe with all my heart is that a personal blog is just that, it's a sacred space, belonging to the artist who breathes life into it, don't let anybody ever tell you what you can or cannot post in your sacred space.

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  24. I am sorry you are going through this Connie.

    I, too, love the real Connie. Please do not let anyone change who you are. You are a wonderful Mom and wife and a super friend. I am truly blessed to count you as one of my friends. I wished we lived closer because I am sure I would hang with you.

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  25. I agree with everyone, do not allow someone else to control who you are or what you say! As long as you're not naming names and locations who really cares. I had the same issue arise when I talked about a family member about a year ago, the only people who knew who I was talking about was my family (in-laws) so I found no harm, and still don't, in what I did.

    I think that we, there seems to be many of us, who need to start a "keepin' real" blog. A place where we are who we are but there are no names and faces attached. It would open up so many new possibilities for posts dontcha think? I'm not saying this would grant us permission to be hurtful or mean and bash people but it would give us the forum to say "hey, my neighbors a real bitch" without being fearful that she will read it!

    Food for thought...

    Hang in there friend!

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I love you. You are my best friend! Your hair looks fantastic today!