“All parents damage their children. It cannot be helped. Youth, like pristine glass, absorbs the prints of its handlers. Some parents smudge, others crack, a few shatter childhood completely into jagged little pieces, beyond repair.” -Mitch Albom, The Five People You Meet in Heaven
This qoute is from a post by Jen at Playgroups are no place for Children, and it really got me thinking about my kids childhood. For many years...I wanted to be a Mom. I had many years to think about the kind of Mother I wanted to be because I didn't have Alex until I was 35 year old. I always knew that I wanted to stay home and raise them myself. I couldn't bear the thought of letting someone else teach them and watch them grow while I went off to a job. I never really enjoyed working anyway....I would rather be keeping a home, cooking and crafting. I'm as non-feminist as you can get. I'd be a Stepford Wife if it wasn't for my opinions and my big mouth!
I'm blessed that things worked out they way they did and I'm a Stay At Home Mom. It allows me to be exactly where I believe I'm needed and I'm so thankful that my husband agrees that this is where I belong. I feel so badly for the women that want to be home but can't, because they have to work. I can't imagine being in that position and I hope I never have to be. And I know that some Moms love working and don't want to be home. Not everyone is cut out to be home all the time. I get it!
I'm anxious. I have so many crafts, plans and activities that I want to do with the kids and I realize that they are still a little young for some of them but I still try. Like making Ice Cream. That might have been a little too much for them but we did it as a family (kind of...Alex didn't want to) and we laughed, sang and had fun.
They were probably too young for the Christmas Carol Train but we got out of the house and did something different and we were together. Here are the character morph pictures from that day....
I know that there are many moms that don't want to keep a journal of their kids lives or go through the trouble of planning crafts and outings. And that's fine. Some people (not just you Bobbi) think I'm a glutton for punishment and that it's not worth the trouble. It's not trouble to me...even if it doesn't turn out like I planned, I still tried. I still made an effort and they got an experience they didn't have before.
I've never been one to sit on my hands. I need to be busy and I take my job as the mother of the two cutest kids in Utah very seriously. I am desperate to give them a fun childhood with crafts, sports, outings and vacations. I want to experience so many things with them, find what they are really interested in and watch them thrive. And I want them to be children for as long as they possibly can! I want to make good decisions and never cause them pain. I want my prints to shape them into great people. I never want to leave them broken....
I know I'm not perfect and I don't want to be....and I know I'll make mistakes but hopefully the effort I put in will result in healthy, happy, well-rounded children and they will be wonderful adults some day and remember that their Mother loved them and wanted them to be happy.
The days are long....but the years are short.