Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Why I NEEDED an iPhone

I'm sick today. I've been really lucky and haven't been sick in quite a while. But I'm stuck on the couch with my iPhone while the kids run Willy Nilly and destroy the house. So...I'm borrowing an idea from my blog buddy Vivienne and I'm republishing something from the past. I came across this today because I'm trying to convince my other blog buddy Celly that she needs to step away from the Blackberry and get an iPhone. This originally ran April 12, 2008. Enjoy!


You know those iPhone commercials. The ones where the people talk about how their iPhone came in handy and they would have been lost without it. That guy who was about to meet his girlfriend's boss and his fiance. And they couldn't remember her name so they looked it up on the iPhone on the couple's wedding website. And then there is the guy that no longer has to carry his man purse because now every thing he needs is in one handy little gadget.

I needed an iPhone today. You see....I'm late. If you are a chick, you know what this means and you will totally understand the rest of this story. If you are a man, your palms are now sweaty and you are not sure you want to read the rest of this.

I have a group of Mommies that I belong to a message board with that are my best friends. I share everything with them. The good, the bad and the hey guys, I'm two days late what do you think I should do. We are all avid POAS* pushers. We love to examine the lines and some of us have even found ourselves purchasing tests (16) from the internet, then buying 4 more at the store and peeing on them as early as 10 days before said time of the month is due to arrive. I don't know who this person is...but I heard about it once.

You should know that I am NOT trying to get pregnant. There was a time, a very short time ago, that I wanted another baby but I think I'm over it now. I still have bouts of baby fever but I usually just drink myself silly until the feeling goes away. If you watch The Young & The Restless, then you know that condoms are only 98% effective. Just ask Lily Winters. She'll tell ya. girlfriends were pushing me to POAS* and I was going out shopping today anyway so I decided to pick up some tests. First I went to Starbucks. Then I went to Target and while there...I suddenly had to pee. So...I consulted with my head girlfriend and she instructed me to purchase a test as quickly as possible and run to the bathroom and pee on it.

I got some in my cart but then got distracted by the pretty shoes and Amber started texting me...instructing me to hurry the hell up.

I got to the stall and got into position. Then the restroom started to fill with people. I sat there for the longest 4 minutes of my life while Amber texted me over and over with updates of how much time was left. I was trying to take pictures of the test with my phone to send to Amber so that the group could analyze it but my phone has had one too many trips into the toilet (thanks Alex) and the camera doesn't work! I wonder what the person in the next stall thought was going on with all of the texting and picture taking going on. And it wasn't just a text sound...for some reason my text alert tone is CRAZY by Patsy Cline. Maybe my phone is trying to tell me something.

All of this would have been so much easier with the iPhone. I could have had instant access to my message board and been live blogging while POAS*. And then I could have taken a high quality photo of the test, emailed it to Amber who could have uploaded to the message board. It would have been great!!!

Finally, the four minutes were over and the test was negative. I bought my monthly visitor some wine, maxi pads and some really good chocolate hoping she will show up. I just really hope that she isn't waiting to go on Vacation with me. Because she is NOT invited!!!

Do you think Apple would make a commercial out of my story? I'm going to pitch it to them. I think it will sell a TON of iPhones to women.

*POAS...Pee On A Stick


  1. hahah! I have an iphone and to be perfectly honest- it's the best and sometimes worst thing that happened to me. Best, for scenarios which you just described (although take heed- there's no picture messaging :( all pics are sent thru email). But worst, because unless I voluntarily shut it off, there is no way for me to shut the world out. The apps mock me when my blog/twitter/facebook/AOL AIM and even myspace (which is SO 2005) go neglected. It buzzes every time one of my 3 email accounts receives a new message. I can't escape work, friends, or even my own family if I tried- I am 100% connected ALL THE TIME. I suppose it's a love/hate relationship.

  2. I'm sorry you're sick, Connie. Sucks. Hugs to you.

  3. Connie I hope you feel better :) I'm telling myself I don't need an iPhone, but I'm sort of hoping Hubby will just go get me one. That's the sort of thing he would do (and I've already told him I'd never go by myself to do that!) Still waiting though...(eh, the kids would destroy it anyway, right?)

  4. I hope you are up and about real soon. That story was great! I think Apple would be silly to not make a commercial out of that one :)

  5. So funny! Feel better soon. PS - I have no iphone and I am jealous.

  6. Connie, I SOOOO need an IPhone, this just makes me want one even more! :)

  7. now that would be an awesome iPHone commercial. ;) Loved this post.

  8. That WOULD be a great commercial. I am at least 4 years behind and cellular technology. I only recently learned how to text. Sad.

    (Kudos for coming over and drinking my Post Republishing Kool-Aid. Cheers.)

  9. I would love to see that commercial! Finally, one that is practical to real life:)

  10. OK, when I first started reading it I thought you were going to say that you needed an iPhone because there was an app for telling you when you were late for your period LOL...Now that would be an idea....

  11. Hey my first test was negative too, but a week later there were two lines =). Just some food for thought.

  12. I hope you feel better soon Connie! You know I have iphone envy - you are a lucky woman!



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