The Bachelorette...Take Me Home

Oh My HEAD!

My drinking game was a hoot last night! IF I hadn't been doing shots of water and taking small sips of my Screwdriver....man o man!

This week Jillian went on FIVE hometown dates. BOOTS! She started off in Philly with Reid with a squeal. He shows her the city...which looked pretty cool and then she met his parents and two brothers. His mom made a point of telling her that kids gravitate to Reid. When talking to his brothers...they say that Reid hasn't been ready and he finds lots of girls to date but they just disappear. I hope they didn't mean MISSING POSTER disappear and that he just stops dating them. I thought this hometown was BORING!

Next she heads to California to see Michael and he is jumping up and down with joy. He has a twin brother and they trade clothes to trick her and she recognizes him right away. Good Job Jill! She chatted with the bro and feels better about his age and sister Jena shows up from out of the country to meet her.

Still in California, is Kiptyn. He earns a squeal and she's wearing shoes. It appears that Kip's family lives in a giant house and she is worried that she is a hillbilly next to these hoity toity folks. His family has seen The Bachelor and have roped off the hot tub with caution tape. They subject her to a taste test of lasagna and wine. Luckily, she passes and then Kip's Mom grills her for a while (not on a GRILL). Kip and Jill hop into the hot tub while Mommy Dearest is watching them from the window. I'm not sure I'd want this woman for my Mother in Law.

Then she is off to Jesse's Winery again in California and she gets to ride on a little tractor. Note to Jillian: This would have been a good time to wear your BOOTS! You don't wear high heel shoes to a FARM! Jesse admits to her that he is really slow to open up but he feels like they are progressing well. Jill meets the parents and his hairy brother Jacob who I found a little bit sexy! Jacob asks Jill some questions and asks if they've been naked...she says that comes later in the show! Jacob tells her that Jesse is like an emotional Ice Cube. I see Jills face and she has just frozen....

Jillian goes to Austin in Red Boots! And squeals when she sees Wes and she gets to meet the band, drink a beer and listen to him sing. OH JOY! He even sings her the 4 lines of the song he wrote for her and she swoons! CD CD CD! Meanwhile, back at the hotel...Jake has arrived and he fake calls Tanner on the phone to make sure he is doing the right thing. Wes tells Jill he isn't a good liar ( he has said this like 50 times....and now I believe he is an EXCELLENT liar) and wants to make this work.

Jake comes to Jill's room and wants to tell her something. He hims and haws and finally after I threw my notepad at the TV...he spits it out. Wes has a girlfriend and her name is Laurel. Poor Jill she starts crying and threatens to quit the show. Jake tells her to be careful because Wes is quick on his feet. Click HERE to learn more about Laurel.

Wes finally shows up to take her to meet his family and she confronts him...telling him that Jake is here and he says he told him on numerous occasions that he has a girlfriend. He denies it, Jake comes back to the room, he confronts him, he still denies it. Jake leaves and cries in the hallway. THEN...she goes to meet his family anyway.

She meets Wes's Mom, Step Mom and sisters. They all collaborate his story of no girl friend. And why wouldn't they...they need his CD to succeed so he isn't living in their basement anymore. Of course they are going to lie for him. Jillian continues to fall for Wes.

Back in Beverly Hills, there is a knock at Jillian's door and there is ED! A vision in purple argyle! He explains that he got home and couldn't stop thinking about her and realized he made a terrible mistake and can he come back please. She makes him feel just a little bit bad about leaving her like that and says this sh!t is BANANAS (B A N A N A S) but yes! Come to the rose ceremony! I'm so happy!

But now...she can still only give out FOUR roses. Two must go home.

At the rose ceremony, Chris Harrison announces that someone is joining them and Ed walks in. The guys are pissed! I predict that someone is going to beat Ed's @ss after the show. In the end, she sends home....

Jesse who says that he is sad and feels like the rug was pulled out from under him by Ed.

Michael leaves with a broken heart. He admits that he really loved her and that he is going to miss her but wants her to be happy.

Next Week: SPAIN! MORE ED! SQUEAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

David~27 Trucking Contractor from Ohio
*First Impression Rose, picked by Globetrotters as match for Jill, keeper of the Man Code, wants to tie Juan to a tree and beat him, acts like a Toddler, a challenge

Jake~ 31 Airline Pilot from Dallas
*gave her wings, first One on One Date, ab's of steel, perfect

Jesse~27 Wine Maker from California
*turned down Italy for Jill, MVP of Curling, wants to be a Canadian, makes Jillian giddy, Emotional Ice Cube

Wes~32 Country Music Singer from Austin
*singing guy, winner of race & dinner, allegedly has a girlfriend, is just there to sell records, girlfriends name is Laurel.

Michael~25 Break Dance Instructor from New York
*in gay scene with Mike, has a crush on Jill, big goofy puppy, wants to be a young dad

Robby~25 Bartender from Houston
*made her a ROZMO, great movie scene with Jill, agrees with David, left for dead on the train tracks

Ed~29 IT Consultant from Chicago *looks like Denny, popped his helicopter cherry, workaholic, had to leave for work, COMES BACK!!

Reid~ 30 Realtor from Philly
*been in love 1.5 times, cuddly

Kiptyn~ 31 General Contractor from California
*heartbreaker, great chemistry with Jill, charitably

Mike~28 Baseball Camp Owner from NY
*good catch guy, in gay scene with Michael

Sasha~ 27 Oil and Gas Guy from Houston
*looking for the mythical unicorn

Tanner P. ~ 30 Financial Analyst from Dallas
*foot fetish guy, loves open toed shoes, tattle tale

Mark~ 26 Pizza guy from Denver
heartbroken and cheated on, winner of threesome, cheated on 4 times

Brad~27 Financial Advisor from Chicago
*co-winner of race

Tanner F. ~28 Sales Rep from Denver

Juan~35 General Contractor from California
*brought her wine, most hated man in house, dumps out his shots, gentleman, cheese-ass

The Bachelorette Drinking Game

Take a swig of your drink every time Jillian....

• hugs someone
• squeals
• says about in her canadian accent
• appears in an outfit wearing boots
• licks her lips nervously

Do a shot every time.....

• Jillian talks about having kids
• Jillian sits in a hot tub
• Wes mentions his CD

The Best Day....Today

Friday night I got an email that The Sweet Tooth Fairy in Provo was going to be celebrating Nie Nie's birthday with a special cupcake and that all of the proceeds of these yummy creations would be going to the family fund and the AZ Burn Center. I mentioned it to Clark and didn't think about it again.


Alex woke early this morning. We sat together eating breakfast and he told me stories and asked me questions. And then he told me I was pretty. insert my heart melting here. A short while later as I sat enjoying a cup of coffee...Alex came to me and said 'Provo Mama, Cupcakes'. He had been coached by Calvin and that was all I needed to hear. I quickly packed some snacks and juice and off we went for an adventure! If you know me...I don't do unplanned adventures very well.

We took a couple detours to a Dinosaur Museum, the gift shop at Thanksgiving Point and The Olive Garden and then we finally made it to our destination and enjoyed some yummy cupcakes! As I sat there in a sugar coma with my family...I said a pray for Nie Nie. I hope that soon she is back to doing all of the things that she loves to do and that she has many, many more birthdays.

It was completely worth the drive....and now we can say we've been to Provo.

Why I NEEDED an iPhone

I'm sick today. I've been really lucky and haven't been sick in quite a while. But I'm stuck on the couch with my iPhone while the kids run Willy Nilly and destroy the house. So...I'm borrowing an idea from my blog buddy Vivienne and I'm republishing something from the past. I came across this today because I'm trying to convince my other blog buddy Celly that she needs to step away from the Blackberry and get an iPhone. This originally ran April 12, 2008. Enjoy!

*******************************************

You know those iPhone commercials. The ones where the people talk about how their iPhone came in handy and they would have been lost without it. That guy who was about to meet his girlfriend's boss and his fiance. And they couldn't remember her name so they looked it up on the iPhone on the couple's wedding website. And then there is the guy that no longer has to carry his man purse because now every thing he needs is in one handy little gadget.

I needed an iPhone today. You see....I'm late. If you are a chick, you know what this means and you will totally understand the rest of this story. If you are a man, your palms are now sweaty and you are not sure you want to read the rest of this.

I have a group of Mommies that I belong to a message board with that are my best friends. I share everything with them. The good, the bad and the hey guys, I'm two days late what do you think I should do. We are all avid POAS* pushers. We love to examine the lines and some of us have even found ourselves purchasing tests (16) from the internet, then buying 4 more at the store and peeing on them as early as 10 days before said time of the month is due to arrive. I don't know who this person is...but I heard about it once.

You should know that I am NOT trying to get pregnant. There was a time, a very short time ago, that I wanted another baby but I think I'm over it now. I still have bouts of baby fever but I usually just drink myself silly until the feeling goes away. If you watch The Young & The Restless, then you know that condoms are only 98% effective. Just ask Lily Winters. She'll tell ya.

Anyway....my girlfriends were pushing me to POAS* and I was going out shopping today anyway so I decided to pick up some tests. First I went to Starbucks. Then I went to Target and while there...I suddenly had to pee. So...I consulted with my head girlfriend and she instructed me to purchase a test as quickly as possible and run to the bathroom and pee on it.

I got some in my cart but then got distracted by the pretty shoes and Amber started texting me...instructing me to hurry the hell up.

I got to the stall and got into position. Then the restroom started to fill with people. I sat there for the longest 4 minutes of my life while Amber texted me over and over with updates of how much time was left. I was trying to take pictures of the test with my phone to send to Amber so that the group could analyze it but my phone has had one too many trips into the toilet (thanks Alex) and the camera doesn't work! I wonder what the person in the next stall thought was going on with all of the texting and picture taking going on. And it wasn't just a text sound...for some reason my text alert tone is CRAZY by Patsy Cline. Maybe my phone is trying to tell me something.

All of this would have been so much easier with the iPhone. I could have had instant access to my message board and been live blogging while POAS*. And then I could have taken a high quality photo of the test, emailed it to Amber who could have uploaded to the message board. It would have been great!!!

Finally, the four minutes were over and the test was negative. I bought my monthly visitor some wine, maxi pads and some really good chocolate hoping she will show up. I just really hope that she isn't waiting to go on Vacation with me. Because she is NOT invited!!!

Do you think Apple would make a commercial out of my story? I'm going to pitch it to them. I think it will sell a TON of iPhones to women.

*POAS...Pee On A Stick

The Bachelorette: The Love Train

I'm writing this with a water hangover because I did my drinking game while watching the show last night. Let's review.

Take a swig of your drink every time Jillian....

• hugs someone
• squeals
• says about in her canadian accent
• appears in an outfit wearing boots
• licks her lips nervously

Do a shot every time....

• Tanner talks about feet
• Jillian cries
• Jake says the word PERFECT

*****

This week the whole gang is going on a train ride abord the Rocky Mountaineer. This train is really cool! Tanner admits that he has never been on a train before (pop that cherry Jillian).
*BOOTS* Jillian admits that she is still missing ED and she hands a date card to Robby and it has his name on it. He's all nervous and meets her in one of the train cars for their date. They make a drink (because he is a bartender) and chat. *NERVOUS LIP LICKING*

Robby tells the camera that he is young and in between jobs. Jillian says she loves being around him but he isn't ready for everything that comes with marriage because he is too young. She hands him the Friend Card and drops him and his luggage off in the middle of nowhere.

The guys watch him de-train and again they are all upset because one of them is leaving. Michael starts crying and Wes tells the camera that he is just there to sell some records. And then he says something that gave me the ickiest feeling in my stomach. Here is the qoute:

The fame that I'll get from this it's almost like I taste it, I eat it and it comes inside of me and becomes a part of me.

Dear Wes Hayden:

I think you are a jack@ss. I will never in a gazillion years buy your stupid album or listen to your ridiculous songs on the radio. If I hear it's you, I will turn the radio off. You have wasted Jillian's and my time and you make me what to throw up.


The train stops in Emerald Lake and everyone except for Reid gets off to go snowshoeing. Tanner helps her with her shoes. *FEET* *FEET* They run around in the snow and play hide and seek. Jake finds her and he slips in a cuddle. He says this experience is surreal.

Meanwhile...Reid is on the train all alone with the crew and a bottle of red and he's asking them all kinds of questions like should he wear his glasses and a hat? I kind of like the glasses...but he is way cuter without them.

The group date moves to a lodge where they will snuggle near a fire and have cocktails. *BOOTS* Jillian and Jake go outside and he tells her that she is like his mom, very nurturing. I don't know about you...but that creeped me out. I don't want him thinking about his Mom while making it with Jill. He says that their conversation was electric but it looked more like it needed a jump start. The guys all come outside and ruin what he was about to do...show her pictures of his Mommy.

She talks with Kiptyn but all I heard was bla, bla, bla, kissy, kissy. And he felt her butt.

Michael asks her what she wears to bed and she says, 'underwear and a tank top but if she's drunk...just underwear.' Jillian, you naughty girl! Tanner decides to start a round of show and tell and whips his pants down to reveal his giant package that ABC has to blur out because it is too sexy for prime time. He is wearing some whitey tighty bikini type panties underwear and he is very proud of them. Jillian looks mortified and tells the camera that she is not ready to see the huge package.

Somehow the poor girl gets some alone time with Tanner and he rubs lotion on her *FEET* (times 7...that's 7 shots!) And he rates them a 9.5. Jesse tells Jill that this is feeling real now and he is having real emotions. Jillian thinks that they have great communication and a spark. Michael gets some alone time with Jill a fire and some marshmallows. He admits that he is the crazy young guy but that he is also romanic. He can't wait for Jill to meet his parents, brother and dog. Jill says that they don't have a physical connection and he is young.

The guys are all talking about the hometown dates coming up and Tanner confesses that he is the mole. Wes gets all defensive and says he hates a tattletale. Then he says that he's gotten what he wanted...publicity for his CD and he can just leave now, or stay and get the girl. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD LEAVE!!

Jillian gives the rose to the person whose family she is excited to meet. Kiptyn!

On Reid's one on one date they go snowboarding and he is horrible at it. But Jill is impressed that he tried something new. *SQUEAL* They sit at an ice sculpture table and she asks him what his perfect life is like. He says in love, normal happy family and happy. His ears are red (from the cold) and he tells her that red ears mean that someone is horny.

*BOOTS* They go to a hotel to have dinner and she tells him they are going to have fondue. He informs her that he is a hypochondriac and is against fondue because he doesn't like his raw meat going into a place that meat has just been cooked. Reid...you are a freak! He also admits that physically she is not his type because he likes blondes with big boobs.

They talk *ABOUT* where they would live and he says he isn't worried about it that they would just work it out. Really? You live 2764 miles apart, it will just work it's way out? She tells the camera that they don't have a lot in common but she wants to meet his family. Reid gets the rose.

Chris Harrison is waiting for the train when it returns because the rose ceremony is going to be today! Jillian *HUGS* everyone and goes to chat with Chris about her week with the guys. *KIDS*

At the rose ceremony, Jill is about to get started when she decides that she needs to talk to Michael. She pulls him out into the hall and asks him if he is really ready for a relationship and he tells her that he always saw himself as a young dad. Good Answer!

Jillian sends Jake on the first flight home. He wants to know why. She just tells him that it wasn't right and he says that nice guys finish last.

Tanner also gets the boot and he says that he is heartbroken because his foot fetish didn't seem to bother her (but I think your giant package scared the hell out of her) so he doesn't understand. He is mad that Wes is still there.

And then there were FIVE!

So the previews for the upcoming shows have JAKE coming back. Apparently he has hijacked a plane (he is wearing his cute little pilot uniform) and he is busting in on a date with Wes and telling her that Wes has a girlfriend, which he is still denying. And someone has some trouble in the bedroom. BUT...where is ED. There are rumors that ED comes back while they are in Spain. I NEED MY ED!!

David~27 Trucking Contractor from Ohio
*First Impression Rose, picked by Globetrotters as match for Jill, keeper of the Man Code, wants to tie Juan to a tree and beat him, acts like a Toddler, a challenge

Jake~ 31 Airline Pilot from Dallas
*gave her wings, first One on One Date, ab's of steel, perfect

Jesse~27 Wine Maker from California
*turned down Italy for Jill, MVP of Curling, wants to be a Canadian, makes Jillian giddy

Wes~32 Country Music Singer from Austin
*singing guy, winner of race & dinner, allegedly has a girlfriend, is just there to sell records

Michael~25 Break Dance Instructor from New York
*in gay scene with Mike, has a crush on Jill, big goofy puppy, wants to be a young dad

Robby~25 Bartender from Houston
*made her a ROZMO, great movie scene with Jill, agrees with David, left for dead on the train tracks

Ed~29 IT Consultant from Chicago
*looks like Denny, popped his helicopter cherry, workaholic, had to leave for work

Reid~ 30 Realtor from Philly
*been in love 1.5 times, cuddly

Kiptyn~ 31 General Contractor from California
*heartbreaker, great chemistry with Jill, charitably

Mike~28 Baseball Camp Owner from NY
*good catch guy, in gay scene with Michael

Sasha~ 27 Oil and Gas Guy from Houston
*looking for the mythical unicorn

Tanner P. ~ 30 Financial Analyst from Dallas
*foot fetish guy, loves open toed shoes, tattle tale

Mark~ 26 Pizza guy from Denver
heartbroken and cheated on, winner of threesome, cheated on 4 times

Brad~27 Financial Advisor from Chicago
*co-winner of race

Tanner F. ~28 Sales Rep from Denver

Juan~35 General Contractor from California
*brought her wine, most hated man in house, dumps out his shots, gentleman, cheese-ass

Live Long and Prosper Chris Gorham

Captain's Log, 0930 hrs.
We are headed to the city of Salt Lake to obtain the new iPhone 3Gs. I'm reading twitter and sipping a Vanilla Iced Coffee from Mickey D's. The children are quietly working on their toy laptops like good little techies. I see a RT (retweet) from my blog buddy Connie in Canada and it contains a name that is very familiar to me. Chris Gorham.

Let the captain's log show that Chris Gorham is my favorite actor and I refer to him as *insert finger quotes ala Danielle on Real Housewives New Jersey* my boyfriend. He has been my boyfriend for many years. I've loved him since I first saw him on Popular back in 1999 and I even watched a movie he made where he played a Mormon Missionary to Tonga called The Other Side of Heaven. I may have accidently thought it was a P0rn0. Calvin and I watch his newest show every week called Harper's Island and it is an awesome show! But you might know him as Henry from Ugly Betty.


Anywho...I was so excited to see him on twitter so I followed him. And I read some of his tweets and HOLY COW he is in Salt Lake City. I may have peed my pants! We got the iPhone, we had some lunch, I avoided ruining my diet with a hotdog on a stick and we headed home.

Captain's Log, 1315 hrs.
I'm searching twitter for tweets from Christopher and I see that he is at a Support the people of Iran rally and it is at the capital building in Salt Lake which was just a FEW BLOCKS from where I was. My Boyfriend was A FEW BLOCKS away!

isn't he handsome!

Captain's Log, 1700 hrs.
Our babysitter arrives with a Kate Gosselin hairdo and it looks a little weird on a 15 year old. Calvin and I leave for our date to have some drinks, appetizers and go see Star Trek. We are having a lovely time, enjoying yummy food and talking. My eyes may have glazed over when he was trying to explain Star Trek to me. I checked twitter and Chris said that he and Alyssa Milano are filming a movie together called My Girlfriends Boyfriend. So I tweeted this:

Captain's Log, 1815 hrs.
Calvin and I discuss my sister's love life because discussing world peace is too heavy. And he informs me that she has to date a 52 year old guy because the new rule is half a guys age plus seven years. I tell him that I have never had trouble finding someone to date and I don't know why Bobbi has so much trouble because she is way cuter than me. AND HE AGREED. Wow....I think to myself, this date is going downhill fast.

Calvin was paying the bill and I received this tweet:

And then I lost my shit in the middle of the bar at the Sonora Grill.
MY BOYFRIEND TWEETED TO ME!

Captain's Log, 1905 hrs.
I am floating into the theater and we are five minutes late for the movie which has already started. There is stuff blowing up and little sirens going off and mass chaos. We take our seats and we're immediately drawn in. There is a heartbreaking scene in the first 11 minutes and I'm bawling. Star Trek isn't supposed to make you cry! During the movie, Spock leaves the Enterprise (you know beam me down Scotty) and he is having a moment with his girlfriend. She tells him that she is going to monitor his frequency. I leaned over to Calvin and I said, 'She is going to follow him on Twitter'. For the record, I have a total crush on the actor that played Doc McCoy.

Harold? Is that you? Where's Kumar?

Captain's Log, 2110 hrs.
The movie was wonderful and we had a fabulous night! We need to go on dates more often!

Captain's Log, 2200 hrs.
I begin plotting a sight seeing trip to Salt Lake City to find my boyfriend. Who wants to go with me?

*Disclaimer* I am not going to stalk Christopher Gorham. I just like to talk about stalking celebrities....like Kate Gosselin, Jen Lancaster and Martha Stewart so there is no need to alert the authorities.

Why I'm Here

*no weekend update today...I've already covered everything we did through the week and it's monsoon season in Utah so we were stuck in the house a lot. Instead, I need to get something off my chest*

“All parents damage their children. It cannot be helped. Youth, like pristine glass, absorbs the prints of its handlers. Some parents smudge, others crack, a few shatter childhood completely into jagged little pieces, beyond repair.” -Mitch Albom, The Five People You Meet in Heaven

This qoute is from a post by Jen at Playgroups are no place for Children, and it really got me thinking about my kids childhood. For many years...I wanted to be a Mom. I had many years to think about the kind of Mother I wanted to be because I didn't have Alex until I was 35 year old. I always knew that I wanted to stay home and raise them myself. I couldn't bear the thought of letting someone else teach them and watch them grow while I went off to a job. I never really enjoyed working anyway....I would rather be keeping a home, cooking and crafting. I'm as non-feminist as you can get. I'd be a Stepford Wife if it wasn't for my opinions and my big mouth!

I'm blessed that things worked out they way they did and I'm a Stay At Home Mom. It allows me to be exactly where I believe I'm needed and I'm so thankful that my husband agrees that this is where I belong. I feel so badly for the women that want to be home but can't, because they have to work. I can't imagine being in that position and I hope I never have to be. And I know that some Moms love working and don't want to be home. Not everyone is cut out to be home all the time. I get it!

I'm anxious. I have so many crafts, plans and activities that I want to do with the kids and I realize that they are still a little young for some of them but I still try. Like making Ice Cream. That might have been a little too much for them but we did it as a family (kind of...Alex didn't want to) and we laughed, sang and had fun.

They were probably too young for the Christmas Carol Train but we got out of the house and did something different and we were together. Here are the character morph pictures from that day....

Me...

Alex

Scary Calvin

I know that there are many moms that don't want to keep a journal of their kids lives or go through the trouble of planning crafts and outings. And that's fine. Some people (not just you Bobbi) think I'm a glutton for punishment and that it's not worth the trouble. It's not trouble to me...even if it doesn't turn out like I planned, I still tried. I still made an effort and they got an experience they didn't have before.

I've never been one to sit on my hands. I need to be busy and I take my job as the mother of the two cutest kids in Utah very seriously. I am desperate to give them a fun childhood with crafts, sports, outings and vacations. I want to experience so many things with them, find what they are really interested in and watch them thrive. And I want them to be children for as long as they possibly can! I want to make good decisions and never cause them pain. I want my prints to shape them into great people. I never want to leave them broken....

I know I'm not perfect and I don't want to be....and I know I'll make mistakes but hopefully the effort I put in will result in healthy, happy, well-rounded children and they will be wonderful adults some day and remember that their Mother loved them and wanted them to be happy.

The days are long....but the years are short.

A Christmas Carol Train Tour

We had a great day yesterday! Calvin took the morning off from work and we went to see the Disney Christmas Carol Train at the Ogden Union Station. This train is traveling all across the country promoting the movie that is coming out November 6th and this was it's only Utah stop. HERE is a map of all of cities that the tour is visiting.

We got there right as it opened and still had an hour wait to get on the train...I couldn't believe how many people were there. I heard people commenting a couple of times about Alex and Mallory's matching outfits. I think they look cute. Doesn't everyone dress their kids in matching outfits?
Got our ticket! Alex was so excited to be at the train station and Mallory was not impressed. She really just wanted to go home.

The Train is beautiful and is about 7 car lengths long. Inside are items on loan from the Charles Dicken's Museum of London. Another car has animated artwork with scenes from the movie and demonstrations of performance capture technology.




The film stars Jim Carey in multiple roles including Ebenezer Scrooge. It began filming in February 2008 and will be shown in 3D. It looks like a fabulous holiday movie and it made me excited for Christmas!! Only 191 sleeps until Santa comes to visit! I better start planning....

Click HERE to enter to win a trip for 4 to the London Premiere of the film.

The Bachelorette...Goodbye Ed

I missed the first 10 minutes of The Bachelorette this week because my DVR keeps recording old episodes of Big Bang Theory. So I joined the show while Michael ad Jillian were zip-lining across the tundra of Whistler. It looks like they are having a great time and Michael doesn't look scared like Ed did on his zip line. In fact this is a real zip line that goes fast and stuff. I don't see any chemistry with them...but Jill says she feels 19 again and that Michael is like a big goofy puppy. She ends up giving him a rose and a HUG. He kisses her and she HUGS him.

The group date is a snowmobiling trip into the wild Canadian woods. She invites Robby to ride on the back of her snowmobile so she can pop his snowmobile cherry and makes the other guys ride two to a machine. Why couldn't ABC afford to rent each of them one?

She talks privately with most of the guys feeling them out to see if they have girlfriends. She decides that she can trust Robby and that he is raw & sweet (like sugar?) and she says that she would definitely know if Wes had a girl back home. He also claims that his sister signed him up. Does Wes really have a sister? They all spend a ridiculous amount of time outside and it gets dark and they are standing around this bar made of snow and Jilli decides to awkwardly dance on it.

She is HUGGING everyone. Little to no kissing is going on...looks like David hit a nerve last week.

She and Kiptyn make out, she has a chat with Reid and he tells her that everyone has girlfriends and in fact, he has two wives. Ed...has been holding back and not looking her in the eye. She pulls him aside and he tells her that his boss is pressuring him to come back to work. She HUGS him and then gives him the rose.

Jesse's date card says they are going to break the ice. Oh great more frolicking in the snow. Jilli squeals when she sees him and they fly in a ski plane to a glacier and run around in the snow, make snow angels and stamp out J + J = Forever in the snow and Jill squeals like a pig. I would like to know what the heck you're supposed to do when you need to pee. They decide this is the best day ever and they will remember this day for the rest of their lives.

At dinner later Jilli asks him where he sees himself at 35 years old? He says successful, owning a wine bar, a house, a wife and kids. She is so happy I think I saw her pinch herself. Jesse tells her that her voice is soothing to him...I thought this was really sweet. Oh course, he gets a rose and a HUG. She says there are major sparks but she has to find out if he is husband material. How is she planning to do this? Maybe they could shadow Kate and Jon for a day.

Ed requests a meeting with Jill. He is really sorry but he has to go home to his job. She is really upset and crying and saying his priorities aren't the same as her's and that she wishes he had thought about this before joining the show. I think she was a little hard on the guy. I happen to think it says a lot about his character that he is not willing to be unemployed. He is one of 10 guys...those aren't great odds for him to sacrifice his job to maybe get picked by her and then what? Is she planning to support him? I've always wondered how people are able to put their jobs on hold for weeks at a time to appear on this show....

Fast forward to the rose ceremony. She tells Chris Harrison (like he didn't know) that Ed had to leave that she is really upset about it because she was starting to fall for him but she isn't sure he was THE ONE. She decides she doesn't need a getting to know you better cocktail party and wants to just get to the ceremony and send someone home.

She sends Mark the Pizza Guy packing and in his parting words he tells us that he has been cheated on 4 times. WOW. Either he is dating some really skanky women or he is a doormat.

For next week: The Bachelorette drinking game!

Take a swig of your drink every time Jillian....

• hugs someone
• squeals
• says about in her canadian accent
• appears in an outfit wearing boots
• licks her lips nervously

Do a shot every time....

• Tanner talks about feet
• Jillian cries
• Jake says the word PERFECT

David~27 Trucking Contractor from Ohio
*First Impression Rose, picked by Globetrotters as match for Jill, keeper of the Man Code, wants to tie Juan to a tree and beat him, acts like a Toddler, a challenge

Jake~ 31 Airline Pilot from Dallas
*gave her wings, first One on One Date, ab's of steel, perfect

Jesse~27 Wine Maker from California
*turned down Italy for Jill, MVP of Curling, wants to be a Canadian, makes Jillian giddy

Wes~32 Country Music Singer from Austin
*singing guy, winner of race & dinner, allegedly has a girlfriend

Michael~25 Break Dance Instructor from New York
*in gay scene with Mike, has a crush on Jill, big goofy puppy

Robby~25 Bartender from Houston
*made her a ROZMO, great movie scene with Jill, agrees with David

Ed~29 IT Consultant from Chicago
*looks like Denny, popped his helicopter cherry, workaholic, had to leave for work

Reid~ 30 Realtor from Philly
*been in love 1.5 times, cuddly

Kiptyn~ 31 General Contractor from California
*heartbreaker, great chemistry with Jill, charitably

Mike~28 Baseball Camp Owner from NY
*good catch guy, in gay scene with Michael

Sasha~ 27 Oil and Gas Guy from Houston
*looking for the mythical unicorn

Tanner P. ~ 30 Financial Analyst from Dallas
*foot fetish guy, loves open toed shoes, tattle tale

Mark~ 26 Pizza guy from Denver
heartbroken and cheated on, winner of threesome, cheated on 4 times

Brad~27 Financial Advisor from Chicago
*co-winner of race

Tanner F. ~28 Sales Rep from Denver

Juan~35 General Contractor from California
*brought her wine, most hated man in house, dumps out his shots, gentleman, cheese-ass

Manic Martha: Ziploc Ice Cream

Welcome to another exciting installment of Manic Martha hosted by Manic Mother! As you know, Martha has a reputation for being hard to work for and sometimes a little rude to people. What you may not understand is that being Martha Stewart is an incredible amount of work and being good at so many things is exhausting. I see a lot of the same qualities in another surly TV star and I can relate to both of these women. We are all talented, creative, perfectionists and downright beautiful.

Kate Gosselin was on Rachael Ray recently and she did a fun craft that I thought my kids would love. Because who doesn't LOVE ice cream? CLICK HERE to see Kate making ice cream.

Homemade Ice Cream

You'll need:

• 1 large Ziploc bag
• 1 small Ziploc bag
• 1 tablespoon sugar
• 1/2 cup cream
• 1/4 teaspoon vanilla
• 6 tablespoons rock salt (regular salt is OK if you can't find rock salt)
• Ice

Fill the large Ziploc bag halfway with ice and rock salt. In the small Ziploc bag, mix cream, sugar and vanilla. Place the small sealed bag into the larger bag and shake for 15 minutes. When finished, add toppings like cookie crumbs or M&Ms and enjoy!

Here we have our two bags ready to make ice cream....we are soooo excited!

The plan was to roll our bags around and pass them back and forth to each other, while singing songs for 15 minutes. Mallory was all ready to do it! Alex was *busy* outside and couldn't be bothered with us.
Here's Calvin singing patty cake while tossing his cream. We sang all kinds of songs and then Daddy ran out of ideas and started singing Army marching cadences. Mallory thought he was funny.
Alex heard all the singing and came in to see what we were up to. He took a 30 second turn at the bag and decided he wasn't cut out for making ice cream and went back to his *busy* work.

I would like to bring your attention to the GIANT oven mitt. These bags are so freakin cold when you are handling them that they will freeze your hands off. I couldn't take it! So...I'm not recommending this craft for any children (except the hard as nails Gosselin children) because it will give them frostbite.
Calvin tried the ice cream first and he said it was good....I'm gonna be honest here....I didn't like it. I could taste the salt that must have been coming through the bag and it had a overpowering vanilla taste.

Mallory LOVED it.

And wouldn't you know it...Alex came in after the ice cream was in the garbage and wanted to have some. So my hubby did what Jon Gosselin would do and he fed Alex ice cream out of the trash. *heavy sigh/eye roll*


Remember the fabric samples from the other day? My master bedroom is in desperate need of some decorating so I'm going to be making a duvet cover for our king sized bed! The patterned fabric will be made into throw pillows. Stay turned for the finished product!

before picture

AND NOW...for the BIG ANNOUNCEMENT!

I am not pregnant.

The reason that ED has left The Bachelorette is because he is in love with me and we are running off together.

Just kidding.

I want you to win a $100 Visa Gift Card!

Click on the purple button to find out how!

**I will be blogging about The Bachelorette later this afternoon**

Weekend Update...Special Purpose!

Monday...it's raining. Like a lot. We live in the desert. Alex suddenly decided that he would like to add to his train collection and he peed in the potty three times! Whoo Hoo! I am amazed at how much energy it takes to constantly ask someone if they have to pee and perform the costume changes. I also decided this was a great time to order the larvae for our butterfly habitat.

Tuesday...we had a lovely play date with Shannon, Haylie, Sara and Sophie. We met at a local park for lunch and we each brought some stuff. Shannon brought some fruit salad, Sara brought coffee from a brand new coffee shop in our hood and I brought brownies. These two are marathon runners/dietitian/nutritionists so I like to feed them as many calories as I can when they're with me. I also found out that one of these gals has been keeping a little secret from me and I'm so excited! baby

The kids and I arrived at the park early so they could play and there were a couple kids already playing. Mallory and Alex are very polite to other children so I didn't think it was going to be a problem....until we approached the play structure and this snot nosed (literally) kid had a couple hundred dollars worth of Thomas the Train crap spread all over it. The other kid was hanging out in the middle of the spiral slide like a troll. My kids couldn't play. Their mothers' stood a couple feet away chatting it up without a care in the world that their children were being rude. Later a teenager (babysitter?) showed up with 7 kids between the age of 1 and 10. Suddenly, there were more kids at this park than a Polygamist compound!

Somehow we managed to have our park time during the only sunny part of the day and we got to see some baby races.




Wednesday...I wrapped the kids in bubble wrap and made them stay in the house all day. It was raining anyway so it worked out. The reason for the extra bit of protection was that they had well baby/toddler checks scheduled for the afternoon and I hate going to see the doctor with a kid that has just injured himself or his sibling. I'm in constant worry that someone will alert Child Protective Services and find out that I'm filming and photographing my kids for more than two hours a day and that sometimes....I deny them something to drink but yet I drink like a fish in front of them.

Both kids are doing great! Mallory is tall and skinny and Alex is off the chart for both height and weight. We have a meeting with a sports recruiter next week...the Denver Broncos have expressed some interest in him.

Thursday....where the heck does Thursday always go? We must have played or something. Oh wait....I remember now. More freakin potty training and Alex found his special purpose.

Friday...Finally! The sun! And the mud. Oh Gosh the mud! The kids played outside until almost dark. Play, play...work, work. I'm seeing more and more of myself in that kid of mine. I think these is a reason that he looks so much like me. He likes to organize things and tidy up. I found him outside doing this:

I asked him what he was doing and he said he was picking up the junk! He designed this rubbish removal vehicle all by himself and filled it with every single item from the yard he could find. Later I found all of this junk lined up on the deck Garage Sale style. And that's where we differ...I don't do garage sales.

Alex expressed no interest in potty training and instead just wants to play with the new toy he found in his pants.

Look what came!

Saturday...against my better judgement, we are all going to swimming lessons. sigh Mallory and Daddy will swim and Alex and I will sit on the picnic table while I destroy his self esteem for not wanting to get into the water. In the event that he does not get in the water my husband will finally accept the fact that the boy is just not ready. EDITED: I have cancelled swimming lessons for the day because it is raining, windy and 53 degrees.

It's beauty parlor time for me again and then I was hoping to go on a date with Calvin to see Star Trek but my babysitter won't call me back.

Have a great weekend!

***Come back Monday TUESDAY for a BIG announcement!***

And Tuesday we return with Manic Martha! Find out what I'm going to do with this.

I'm a Heathen...Get Me Out of Here!

I liked Mama Kat's list of prompts this week. One of them spoke to me more than the others.

Where would you like to be?

I think I've made it pretty clear that we don't feel like we belong in Utah. I've never lived anywhere in my life where my religion was a basis for people talking to me and it's hard to deal with. I'm really concerned for the kids....I don't want them to be excluded or shunned because they are different. Life is hard enough....

I would like to be in Colorado....Denver to be exact.

I love downtown Denver and we are huge Bronco Fans. My hubby has had season tickets with his best friend from childhood for 7 years. He travels to several games every winter.


My favorite place to hike....the Boulder Flat Irons. I once hiked 9 miles here while on a date.

This is my favorite restaurant...The Red Square Bistro. Calvin and I have celebrated our anniversary here twice and ended up pregnant days later...both times.

Here's my dream house...in a fabulous neighborhood. It's only a cool million.

I know my dream will come true....someday.

The Bachelorette...Moving to Canada

I was all excited for this week of The Bachelorette because we were going to find out who has a girlfriend back home. And then I was bored out of my cotton pickin mind for 1.5 hours.

We start out every episode in the bunkhouse with all of the guys looking all casual and wearing stupid hats. A few like to wear them backwards because they are afraid someone is going to pour something down their neck, some wear hats that are too small for their freakishly large heads and some wear these ridiculous beanie hats because it is cold in California.

This week Chris Harrison told them to pack their bags because they are moving to Canada! Everyone is happy to leave these close quarters and I'm sure Juan is hoping for more rooms to hide from David.

Jillian greets them in a cute grey and black dress at a fancy hotel where she has rented them a 3 bedroom penthouse suite! They have Champagne and appetizers to celebrate their good fortune and then Jill leaves them to choose their bed buddies room mates.

The first date card arrives and it is for Kiptyn. Jill meets him in a park and she is wearing a misshapen maternity jacket and of course, boots. They get into some Kayaks and race to a bridge. She lets Kip win. Then they went shopping for food and went back to her place to cook. She goes crazy over the fact that he came up behind her to kiss her while she was plating the food. I actually liked this date a lot. I've always said that you will find out more about a person doing everyday things than on a fantasy date. Next...I think she and a date should have to take care of a baby. The date goes well and Kip gets a rose.

Back at the Penthouse....the group date card comes and then the two left over realize that they are going on the 2 on 1 date (not to be confused with a Threesome) and they start to panic.

The group date takes place at some Olympic Ice Place and the guys have to learn to curl. They split two teams and have to successfully get their rock from one end to the other to win a dinner date with Jillian that night. The losers have to go back to the penthouse to console each other talk crap about Juan, David and Wes.

The Red Team wins and they all get cleaned up and head to a yacht where they drink shots and eat crab. Jill tells Jake to try to be himself and not so perfect....he looks concerned and later asks David if he is too perfect. David tells him that chicks like a challenge and he is too easy. Then Jill has some alone time on a bed with Jesse. Lastly, she has some time with David. Right away he tells her that he likes her hot @ss and she looks good in spandex. He is feeling a little too comfortable with her and is throwing cuss words around. He leans in for a kiss just after uttering the F word and she pulls away. He is offended and mentions that she has kissed everyone in the house. She says she is not that girl and he tries to touch her shirt. David tells the camera that she is playing hard to get because he is a challenge and she is INTO HIM. Poor stupid David....she's really not that into you.

Jesse gets the rose for being a really nice guy.

Jillian meets Mike and Mark in a park and Mike runs up to her like a girl. I half expected him him to wrap his legs around her waist! Mike comments that he wishes he had thought of that. They walk over to a yellow helicopter where Jill is about to pop their cherry. Off they go, flying over mountains and snow with Mike sitting between Mark and Jillian. Awkward! They land at Grouse Mountain and have a nice meal. Mike is being very open and complimentary of Jillian and Mark is sitting on his hands.

They each get some alone time and Mark over shares about all of the heartbreak he has had, confessing that he thinks he has been cheated on. And here it comes....The Pity Rose. Mike leaves on the equivalent of a Canadian city bus....a gondola.

Cut to the Penthouse....a bell boy comes for Mikes luggage and because they are in a hotel, they don't have to chase him down the hall to see where he is going.

Finally, it is time for the cocktail party and Jillian wants to snuggle with Reid but she knows she needs to talk to him. Wes tells her that he is ready to settle down and have kids and that he has lots of love to give because he has a girlfriend. Jake talks to her about their conversation on the boat and he wants Jillian to know that he really is as perfect as he looks.

Tanner Pheet decides to be the man and tell her what she needs to know about guys in the house. He tells her that some guys have an agenda and someone has a girlfriend back home. She is visibly upset and asks him to tell her who. He won't give her any more info so Jill cuts the party short and goes off to cry and talk to Chris Harrison who is obviously not giving her any info either.

The group is assembled and Chris Harrison tells them that whoever isn't being honest needs to come clean right now. Jillian is trying to find love dammit and she doesn't like to share her toys men. No one confesses anything. A couple of them look slightly guilty and Jake tells everyone that he is going to be pissed to find out that someone has a girlfriend and is taking time away from Jill that she could be spending with him. David wants to know who the tattletale is and Tanner Pheet looks like he is going to throw up. Juan knows it was Tanner and keeps looking at him.


Finally, the ceremony goes on and she sends home Juan and David. At this point I'm concerned for Juan's life and hope he can escape the hotel before David beats the crap out of him. David asks Jillian WHY? and she says 'it just wasn't right' which he interprets as she doesn't know. Dave is sure that Juan threw him under the bus.


Juan is whisked away to safety in a cab and Jillian apologies to the rest of the guys for her behavior.

If this show doesn't pick up pretty soon...I'm going to have to stop watching. It looks like next week there is lot's of crying so that seems promising.

David~27 Trucking Contractor from Ohio
*First Impression Rose, picked by Globetrotters as match for Jill, keeper of the Man Code, wants to tie Juan to a tree and beat him, acts like a Toddler, a challenge

Jake~ 31 Airline Pilot from Dallas
*gave her wings, first One on One Date, ABS of steel, perfect

Jesse~27 Wine Maker from California
*turned down Italy for Jill, MVP of Curling, wants to be a Canadian

Wes~32 Country Music Singer from Austin
*singing guy, winner of race & dinner, allegedly has a girlfriend

Michael~25 Break Dance Instructor from New York
*in gay scene with Mike, has a crush on Jill

Robby~25 Bartender from Houston
*made her a ROZMO, great movie scene with Jill, agrees with David

Ed~29 IT Consultant from Chicago
*looks like Denny, popped his helicopter cherry, workaholic

Reid~ 30 Realtor from Philly
*been in love 1.5 times, cuddly

Kiptyn~ 31 General Contractor from California
*heartbreaker, great chemistry with Jill, charitably

Mike~28 Baseball Camp Owner from NY
*good catch guy, in gay scene with Michael

Sasha~ 27 Oil and Gas Guy from Houston
*looking for the mythical unicorn

Tanner P. ~ 30 Financial Analyst from Dallas
*foot fetish guy, loves open toed shoes

Mark~ 26 Pizza guy from Denver
heartbroken and cheated on, winner of threesome

Brad~27 Financial Advisor from Chicago
*co-winner of race

Tanner F. ~28 Sales Rep from Denver

Juan~35 General Contractor from California
*brought her wine, most hated man in house, dumps out his shots, gentleman, cheese-ass