Monday, July 22, 2013

That Time I Flashed Father Marty

I tried on 14 dresses.  It is really very difficult to find a dark colored, conservative dress in the middle of summer.  I found one that I liked but Alex said I looked pregnant in it and it was $40.  I'm not paying that kind of money to look fat. No way man!

I finally gave up and decided to wear something I already owned....even if it wasn't appropriate.  I had spent  the morning writing the obituary and putting together a tribute video....I was emotionally spent!

The next day, I pulled out my dress and realized it was more black than white.  Perfect!  At the last minute I decided to wear my onesie spanx.  I told iKeith this decision could go one of two ways.  I'd either cry more because I was in pain, or I wouldn't be able to cry because I wouldn't be able to breathe.


As you can see from the picture....I was wearing a wrap dress.  What you might also be able to see is that it's tied in a triple knot because as I was being introduced to Father Marty my dress came untied and I flashed him.

Did you hear what I said?  My dress came OPEN as I shook Father Marty's hand.  He saw my spanx. I was mortified!

Father Marty sat in the second pew behind Bobbi while people were speaking about Robert and she handed him a couple tissues when she heard him crying.  She thinks it's because I've ruined his vow of celibacy.

Speaking of Bobbi.  She was never a Girl Scout, but she should have been.  She is so resourceful.


She ran out of hands and found a place to store her silverware!  Smart girl!


12 comments:

  1. On the bright side, you flashed your Spanx and not the twins. I'm sure Robert would have loved this story!

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    1. Actually....it's a spanx that you can wear a bra with. Mine was a VS black push up with polka dots on it. :)

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  2. Father Marty probably thought it was part of your outfit. He shouldn't know a thing about the world of Spanx. I think the dress is perfect, BTW....you didn't need a new one!

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    1. Thank you for making me feel better Ricki! I'd hate to think I ruined his career.

      I actually love this dress. It is comfortable (when it's not flying open), is machine washable and looks sexy! Maybe too sexy for a funeral but Rob would approve!

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  3. Connie, I just love you so much! You always find the comedy!

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  4. I'll bet Robert was laughing his a** off when he saw that happen. Everyone goes to their own funeral, right? I'd like to think so. You are one funny lady, Connie!

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  5. I hardly think seeing spanx would ruin his vow of celibacy. Probably he glanced in there, didn't see the Always Lusted After Boobies, and it ruined his whole day. Poor guy.

    (is that too irreverent? sorry)

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  6. Of all the people you could have flashed, Father Marty was probably the best. Mostly because he can't make fun of you for it.

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  7. Holy Schmoley, girl. THAT is some good stuff!! To be a fly on the wall and see your face the minute you knew what was happening!! HAHAH!!

    You're a damn nut. I love it!

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  8. You look beautiful! Not as good as you looked to Father Marty though I'm sure :)

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  9. You do look beautiful!! I am sure Father Marty appreciated the view.

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I love you. You are my best friend! Your hair looks fantastic today!