Sunday, July 21, 2013

5 Stages of Grief

Until you're lost someone, you don't really understand the 5 stages of grief.



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I've filled multiple pages of a notebook telling Robert how I feel and I think I'll keep this notebook to write letters to him when I wish I could call him up.  He's going to miss so many things....but mostly, watching his niece and nephew grow up.

The grief of children is also an interesting thing to observe.  Memories or thoughts about Robert have hit them when we least expect it.  I suppose this will happen for a long time and I hope to keep his memory alive for them.  We're already making plans to celebrate Robert's birthday and I'll have to come up with something for Christmas.  Anyone have any ideas for me?


  1. The death of my MIL hit my youngest daughter really hard. I can tell when she's thinking about here because she'll randomly wear a piece of her jewelry.

    I think you could have a Christmas dinner in honor of Robert and serve some of his favorite dishes. Then everyone can share a favorite Christmas memory.

    I know how hard it is for kids....and you're right. You never know when that grief will hit. Yesterday marked the one year anniversary of my FIL's death, and then my MIL died 110 days later.

    Yesterday was a nice day because we celebrated my mom's seventieth birthday with my 93 year old grandmother and both came to watch Shelley ride in a horse show.

    Ricki Jill

  2. How about a special "Robert" ornament for the tree.

  3. I put up a small tree to remember my baby girl and each year we add an ornament to it that reminds us of her.
    Grief is a sneaky sneaky biotch for sure.

  4. I know you loved going to the theatre with Rob, so maybe you could make it a holiday tradition with the kids or see something around his birthday?

  5. As you know we went through this 3 years ago with Scott's sister but my kids were younger. What we have done is tried to change things up around the holidays. We were told that if you kept things the same it would be so obvious that someone important was missing. At Christmas we look at pictures of her, watch the holiday video I made but have changed our traditions with that side of the family (she was the Christmas Elf). On her birthday we plant flowers in the yard as a tribute to her. It is so very hard and I wish I could say that time helps. It does get a bit easier but I still have my moments where I want to call her and break down and cry. My heart is breaking for all of you!

  6. I like the idea of going to the theatre to honor him. It'll be so hard, and my heart breaks knowing it'll be rough for some time to come for you guys.

    Have the kids write him a letter and drop it in the mail. A friend of mine does that for her mom. It's very cathartic.


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