Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Scenes From an Apartment: The Newsletter

I got the May installment of my apartment complex newsletter today and there was so much great information in it that I thought I should share it with you.

Highlights:

  • Happy Mother's Day!
  • If you smoke (DON) please, please don't leave your still smoldering butts on the ground.  They are unsightly to Connie other residents and are a fire hazard.
  • All children must stop throwing rocks at other children.
  • All children must stop fighting with other children.  The cops will be called.  
  • All children must stay out of the uncovered pool while they work on it. 
  • All children must stop vandalizing the candy machine.
  • Please (DON) stop smoking in the playground area and starting small fires in the wood chips.
  • Please stop feeding the squirrels.  They have been damaging the property and causing inconvenience to Connie some of our residents. THE HELL YOU SAY!
  • It is against West Metro Fire rules to operate a BBQ on your patio.  You must remove all propane tanks immediately and store them off the premise.
  • The community yard sale will be May 21-22.  


Soooo....I started looking for a new apartment this afternoon. The final straw....no grilling on my patio. I grill at least twice a week. AND I just bought some really awesome kabob skewers at Sur La Table.

The good news is that there wasn't ANY mention of dog poop this time.

16 comments:

  1. You must find new living arrangements. I'm adding it to my prayer list.

    You used the phrase perfectly. Like you were born and raised in the south.

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  2. Ok things can only go up from here. When is your lease up?? On the plus side, they didn't mention dog poop! :)

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  3. Yikes! It is definitely time to get out of there.

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  4. I think it is totally cool that the adults can swim in the pool when they are working on it and vandalize the candy machine. I've always wanted to vandalize a candy machine.

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  5. What about charcoal grills, is that ok??? I'd find a loop hole for that rule, because that's bogus.

    I'm thinking maybe I should put a newsletter together for the other apartments in my building, or at least for the people behind me, because I really dislike them.

    Good luck finding a new apartment! I've been keeping my eye open for one as well, but I really love my apartment, just not the people who live out back so I'm torn....decisions, decisions!

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  6. yeah, you totally need a new place to live.

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  7. I have a friend that lives in a huge complex and gas grills are ok to use, but you can't use charcoal. That's crazy talk! Hopefully you can find a place with a patio for the kids or maybe even a house with a yard!

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  8. They said Premise. It's premises. Those people are whacked! You need a new place. We have a nice new apt complex down the road...come live here!:)
    Um. Oh. Seriously? Calling cops on kids? Are they teens at least???

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  9. THE HELL YOU SAY!! I love that JK reminded us of that great phrase. I love it.

    Yes, please move. Your apartment sounds white trash and you are above that. Aren't you? I'm thinking yes you are.

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  10. CONNIE

    You have to look at this video!!!!

    http://www.rantsfrommommyland.com/2011/05/my-favorite-squirrel-is-dead-squirrel.html#comment-form

    Disgusting on so many levels. (Love how the husband manages to get a boob zoom in while he's taping).

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  11. I'm gonna help. What zip code do you want to live in? I'll Google search and help you find a non-squirrel infested, non-smoking, non-shity kids, grill as you desire home if it kills me!

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  12. ...and the packing of boxes begin. Definitely sounds like it's time to find a place that is a better match for you, iKeith and the kids.

    Loved your Mother's Day post. Glad is was a good one.

    Cynthia
    http://coffeeonthepatio.com
    http://www.cynthiasblog.com

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  13. Will they be selling grills, squirrels, children and DON at the community sale? Yes, get out of there!

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  14. OH MY HECK!! You sure do need to find a new place soon. Just be careful of private communities if they are anything like where I live. The HOA has rules that sound really similar to those rules - and we OWN our homes. ARGH!!

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  15. Oy, apartment shopping. How's it going?

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