Little Boy Gone

We went to the Ogden Farmer's Market yesterday. We've lived here for almost three years and it was the first time we'd gone. There were tons of people there and the section with the local grown veggies and fruit was very crowded. Calvin and Alex walked quickly ahead of us as if they were in a race and this irritated me. I wanted us to stay close...I didn't want to lose them in the crowd.

Eventually we found each other again and found a playground with a live band playing right next to it. We let the kids play with the other 15 kids that were already playing there and I went off to purchase some peaches and tomatoes.

I was only gone about 15 minutes and as I walked across the grass toward the play structure...I scanned the children's faces and I didn't see Alex. I saw Calvin and Mallory on the backside and he was looking too.

Alex was not there!

Calvin saw me and came over...said he was watching the wrong kid in a red shirt. Panic immediately gripped my heart and my brain ran in circles...immagining someone taking my baby away. I grabbed my iPhone, pressed 9-1-1....ready to hit the CALL button.

I held Mallory and watch Calvin walk by the booths searching. He was gone a few minutes and when he came back I told him I was calling the police.

That's when I saw two young ladies walking toward the playground with my little boy. His face was tear streaked. Calvin ran over to him and told him to never leave Mommy and Daddy like that again.

I spent the rest of the day holding that boy whenever he would let me and thanking baby Jesus for keeping an eye on him.

I try not to worry about the things that could happen. I try not to let that prevent me from living life...but it's hard. I feel like I work so hard to make sure nothing happens to my kids and then I'm away for a few minutes and suddenly one of them is missing. I wasn't there to protect them.

I'm always so torn about doing things for myself because if I am...then I'm not with my kids. I guess this is the Mommy Guilt that everyone talks about and maybe it will go away when they are in college. Until then...I'll just keep medicating myself with wine.

Christmas in August 2009

If you are a fairly new friend of mine, I'm about to let you in on a little secret. Are you ready?

I start planning for Christmas in JUNE.

I like being organized and spreading my purchases (gifts, food and ornaments for the kids) out over several months instead of trying to cram everything into a couple weeks. When I plan ahead like this...I have found that I am more relaxed during the holidays and we have time to make special memories.

You will notice that June was two months ago....and I'm behind schedule.

I'm getting a late start this year for several reasons. Many plans have been up in the air....Calvin agreed to travel for Christmas without discussing it with me and then recent events have made that trip unnecessary. I prefer to spend Christmas in MY HOME. Especially while the children are younger and have unpredictable behavior large sleep requirements.

The other reason is that for the last five years...Calvin's side of the family has drawn names for gift giving. It started out of necessity...because money was tight and the dollar limit was relatively low. That limit has grown over the last few years and I've enjoyed the arrangement...being able to focus on one person and spending my budget on them.

This year some family members don't want to draw names. This has caused me to stress out a little bit about the holidays and wonder how I'm going to spread my small gift budget out among 5 people. If Mr Scrooge Calvin had his way...no one would be getting a gift this year.

I had a poll up a few weeks ago. Thank you for voting and giving me your opinion. The consensus was that few nice gifts were preferable to several inexpensive gifts and many agreed with me that Christmas really is about the Children....and not receiving presents.

This all gave me much to think about....and I told Calvin a few weeks ago that I wanted to limit the amount of gifts we bought for the kids this year. Last year...they each had 22ish presents and it took two days for them to open them all. This is excessive!

When I think back to last Christmas....I can't remember what we bought them as gifts (except all of the THOMAS the Train stuff). What I do remember is all of the fun we had with the elves, playing in the snow, the tea party, making cookies, watching the Christmas shows on TV and attempting to go to the parade.

This morning I was googling *filling my child's love cup* and I found this article from The Natural Child Project and it was as if a giant light went on! To read the entire article click HERE.

In a nutshell....after spending all of our time shopping, baking and attending a bunch of holiday parties we don't have as much time to spend with our kids. Children crave attention from the people they love and they need to have their love cup filled or they feel unhappy.

If you try to make a kid happy by buying them more presents to make up for the lack of time you are spending with them they learn that things make them happy. We never want to substitute gifts for love or they require more things to try to fill the emptiness they feel.

What every children really needs is the gift of feeling loved, listened too, understood and useful. Our kids want to be with us and do things with us. Spending time with them is more important than any gift you could give them.

And so...I feel like I'm on the right track and this year we will be taking the focus off from gifts and re-direct it were it should be. On Santa Claus making memories, helping other's and Jesus. He is the reason for the season...afterall!

List of things to do in August/September:

Organize Christmas notebook and create list and budget spreadsheets.

Find a support group for notebook addiction. (carried over from last year)

Start thinking about gift ideas for family and kids.

Select a date for the Holiday Tea Party

Start working on holiday letter

HALLOWEEN: Decide on and purchase costume for the kids. Decide on costumes for me and Bobbi.

Why Girls Night Out is better than Date Night

Your girlfriends won't tell you that the bills are too high and put you on a spending freeze.

Your girlfriends won't bum you out talking about politics.

Your girlfriends won't fail to tell you how cute your outfit and hair are.

Your girlfriends won't go to their seat without you while you're in the restroom.

Your girlfriends won't forget to get you a coke.

Your girlfriends won't drink 5 beers and then try to grope you during the movie.

Your girlfriends won't fall asleep and snore during the movie.

Your girlfriends won't hate the movie and then pick it apart all the way home.


Tonight is the first meeting of the Northern Utah Ladies Drinking Society. If you would like to become a member please contact me.

Hey John Elway

**no vlog today...I've got a cold.**

Bobbi and I were watching TV the other night when this commercial came on....




We both GASPED at the same time because of JOHN ELWAY!!!

We grew up in a little town called Greeley and we lived right behind the University of Northern Colorado (UNC) which is were the world famous Denver Bronco's used to have training camp every summer in the 80's and 90's. Bobbi and I would often spend the afternoons sunning ourselves and watching scrimmages and then she would wait patiently for them to walk back to the dorms so she could get their autograph.

The Bronco's coming to town was always a big deal in Greeley. There were articles in the newspaper about the players and rumors about them carrying on in the local bars. There was always a bit of excitement that you might run into a Bronco.

One Tuesday night in August in 1995, I was sitting in the bar at the Smiling Moose when HE walked in. There was an entourage of football players with him and he walked right past my table. The world stood still for a few minutes and my friends say that my mouth dropped open and I sat in stunned silence...unable to speak. John Elway had just walked past my table. He stood a few feet away, sipping his beer and talking to fans for over an hour. And I just gawked at him.

Fast forward 11 years, Keith and I were shopping for a new SUV. We decided to check out John Elway Nissan and test drove a couple different vehicles. I told our salesman what a huge fan I was and he took me upstairs and showed me John's office! I was giddy! If John would have walked in...I think I would have fainted.

Which brings me to why I'm telling you all this. The commercial that we saw the other night is just like the one up at the top of the page but a little different. The one we saw was advertising the Golf Tournament in Las Vegas in October. Bobbi and I looked at each other when we saw the date and we squealed....John Elway (and Justin Timberlake) will be in Vegas the same time we will be there for SITScation. We are formulating a plan to stalk John in Vegas!

**Keith would like to make it known that he does not support the stalking of John Elway and now regrets letting me go to Vegas at all. He is threatening to pull my sponsorship. But really...how much trouble can a chubby housewife from Utah get into anyway?**


"YOU'RE JUST TOO GOOD NOT TO STALK" -Frankie Valli Parody - More amazing video clips are a click away

Trials and Tribulations of Potty Training

I'm concerned about my parenting abilities. If I can't teach my children to PEE....what hope do I have of teaching them the important things in life? After a stressful week I began looking at preschools because I'm obviously not cut out for this. Those hopes were then dashed when Calvin* iKeith informed me that I would have to pay for preschool with my household budget and I'm not really a pork and beans kind of gal so I guess I will have to learn to school my children myself.

It seems as if I have been potty training for months. Hundreds of dollars have been spent on bribes in the hopes that my kid would POOP FOR THOMAS. That worked like a charm until the toys ran out. There was the hatred of underwear which then results in a trip to Wal-Mart to let the kid pick out his own undergarments.

I've tried everything....stickers, treats and letting him just run neeked through the house. This actually is the only thing that worked but he can't Donald Duck it forever. As much as I want him to love his body....I can't let him run around in his birthday suit in public. At some point that should get you arrested.



Mallory joined in the fun last week...telling me that she wanted to use the potty. What she really meant by that was that she wanted to drive me insane and create a giant pile of laundry. Three days of training her and she never once went in the potty. She did however, pee on the floor and then blame it on the dog.

Before we went on vacation....Alex was doing pretty well. Not great but he was making progress. I didn't want to push the training because we would be on vacation and not bringing the chair. I figured we would pick up where we left off when we returned. I figured wrong.

Bobbi brought some Potty Training Propaganda home from work and I read it and confirmed that my child is RESISTING potty training. And it's all my fault....because my child has been reminded and lectured too much. They recommended that I put him in his underwear and then pretend like I don't give a hoot if he uses the potty. Don't ask him if he needs to go and just go about my business. If he soils his pants, quickly change into CLEAN underwear and not bring up the accident. They claim that reminders are a form of pressure and he will eventually decide to perform to get my attention. They have never met MY kid....

I started this new plan yesterday morning and he held his pee all morning. At nap time, I bribed him with a cookie to sit on the potty and then he slept with underwear on for the first time. After nap, he had some milk so I was sure he would need to pee soon. He told Bobbi that he needed to potty and came inside and went upstairs. And then he came outside sans pants and peed on the grass....just like the dogs.

And then I made myself a stiff drink.....

While I sipped my drink and watched Fox News (which is not at all relaxing) Calvin took the children to the park. He called me to tell me that Mallory was sitting at the top of the slide and refused to come down because her BOOBS hurt. He wanted to know where she got that from? How the hell would I know? She's 2 going on 15!

*I used to call iKeith...Calvin on this blog.  That was when he worked on a NASA project and we were in the witness protection program.

Mistaken Identity

When we were traveling to Wisconsin a few weeks ago, we stopped overnight in Omaha Nebraska. Our truck was parked right in front of the giant ashtray for guests to use as their smoke break station. I noticed a man in his 30's was leaning against the building enjoying a cigarette and when he saw Mallory in my arms, he asked if she was Shiloh Jolie-Pitt. I laughed and said No....then I looked around nervously and said...and if she is...you didn't see us. I quickly put Mallory in her seat and we left. I've always thought she looked like someone famous...I just didn't know who.

What do you think?

Casual Friday ~ Meet Julio!

I'm liking this Vlogging thing a lot. It's given me a reason to take a shower and put on make up on Fridays. WHOOHOO! This Vlog does include video of my trip to McDonalds to see my boyfriend. I'll tell you right now that I have to do it again...because I suckth at video taping. Or my camera is a piece of poo and I need something better. By the way, I don't know that his name is Julio...I just can't keep calling him the Micky D's guy so I named him Julio. And I think he kind of looks like a Julio. I wonder if I can get a pocket Julio?

Enjoy!



If you liked this and would like to see more Vlogging or would like to do a Vlog yourself and link up. GO see The Bantering Blonde!

Not just afraid...I'm scared!

As part of my attempt to take better care of myself I made an appointment to see a Dermatologist to have all of my moles inspected. (they all checked out fine) While I was there I was going to have her look at this spot on my face that I've had for a couple years that is like a dry patch that will never go away no matter how much lotion I put on it. The worried look on her face as she examined it sent chills down my back. She told me that she would be taking a biopsy of it to *see how bad it is*.

I have skin cancer.

I left the office and called my husband from the parking lot and I broke down. How could I have waited so long to have this checked? I racked my brain to think of how long it has actually been there and it's been at least 2 years...and it's grown. I spent the day trying not to think about it but the word cancer kept creeping into my thoughts. And of course I googled skin cancer which was a bad idea. I won't know anything for three weeks (sooner if it's REALLY bad) so I'm going to try not to worry...but it's hard.

In the back on my mind I knew this day was coming. I grew up being taught to suntan with baby oil and we never used sunscreen when we were out on the boat. As an adult, I had what they call Tanarexia....I frequented the tanning salon several days a week and bought lotions to make me darker! I'm happy to say that I haven't done any of that in six years but the damage has been done.

A few months ago I did a post called What I'm Afraid of....because of a blogging friend's son that was diagnosed with cancer. That is still my biggest fear...losing my children, and living my life without them. But yesterday, a new fear was born.....

The thought of something happening to me and my family having to go on without me is unbearable. I feel like an asshat for not taking better care of myself and allowing this to happen. There is so much I'm excited about and want to teach my kids and I know their lifes would be altered horribly without me here. I can't imagine Alex going off to college without me getting him ready and sending him care packages and how would Mallory ever be able to get married without me there to help her on her wedding day?

And Calvin. The poor guy doesn't even know where we keep the hammer for crying out loud? How would he function without me? In my mind's eye....we are growing old together and we are playing with our grandchildren....at a nursing home but still.....

Dear Baby Jesus,

Please, please don't let this be bad. My family needs me. I promise to always wear sunscreen and finally lose this 40 pounds. AND I'll cut back on the wine. Just please let this not be serious.

Thanks,

Connie

This post is in response to MamaKat's writing prompt.