Friday, September 24, 2010

What I Learned This Week

Things I learned this week:

I learned that if I am extra naughty in the husband will completely lose his mind and take me to an expensive store and buy me clothes.

I learned that my husband and I don't have the same style ideas for me and he'd like to be married to a 60 year old woman that wears houndstooth pants.

I learned that White House Black Market will take anything back for 60 days and if you exchange your houndstooth pants and simple black pumps for rockin sexy jeans and red snake-skin stilettos and the total is less than your husband spent they will load the balance onto a gift card for you to use at another time.

I learned that I can make friends anywhere, long as I have a glass of red wine in my hand. Must find adult sippy cup for the park and library.

I learned that I am still a bitch on wheels and anyone that tries to wrong me should take a lesson from Dave and Devin.

I learned that Alex wants to marry Mallory and that he'd like to take her to Canada someday.

I learned that I can't be friends with my brother in law.  I've tried and our Virgo-Aires dynamic just doesn't work.

I learned that if I take the kids to the store that I will be in too big of a hurry and will accidentally buy maxi pads that are a foot and a half long...with wings.  I believe I can fly!

I learned that if my husband needs to take his car to the shop...I should make him take the bus because he's kind of a jerk in the morning.

I learned that one of my children loves the library and one of them does not.  I also realized that I haven't had a library card since I was in high school.

I learned that my mother in law would rather play World of Warcraft than spend time with her grandchildren.

I learned that my husband still dreams about his old girlfriend.  I wish he would learn not to tell me when he does.

I learned that I love Oprah's Book Club selection Freedom by Jonathan Franzen (available on Kindle and iBook)

I learned that I never listened to the radio in the car while living in Utah and my daughter didn't know what the radio was and why people were talking instead of singing.

What did you learn this week?


  1. I learned that you got some rockin' red shoes!
    And? That you must have bought MY maxis.

  2. Those shoes are AWESOME!!!! LOVE THEM!!! Dare I admit that I just might love them more than I love my own red patent leather red stilettos.

  3. Just Brilliant!

    You made me laugh out loud like a hyenia when I read the part about the houndstooth pants!!! Glad I didn't have my false teeth in ; )

  4. I hate huge maxi pads - they give me a wedgie!

    Are those THE shoes - they are fab! I bet the jeans are too...keep working it in the bedroom lady!! :)

  5. Most awesomest post ever :) LOVE the shoes!!!

  6. "I learned that I can make friends anywhere, long as I have a glass of red wine in my hand. Must find adult sippy cup for the park and library." And this is why I love you :)

  7. Oh my gosh, those shoes are HAWT!

  8. Um, so it's true...? You actually ARE a shoe slut?

  9. I LOVE those shoes...and that you traded the houndstooth for sexy jeans and heels!

    I think you need to wear those and go out on the town this weekend!! :)

    Have a fabulous Friday!♥

  10. Very fun and FUNNY post, my Utah traitor friend. I learned if I watch Dukes of Hazzard while drinking wine before I go to bed, I have some interesting dreams. Miss you! xo

  11. Love, love, love those shoes. They are amazing.

  12. I just learned that I am so jealous for those red shoes!!!


  13. I learned that I want your shoes!!

  14. Damn, I wish I could wear shoes like that. Sorry about the bro-in-law and grandma-in-law realizations. But good that the tot learned what a radio is. Plusses and minuses. Also, I completely lost it when you made the R Kelly joke. Whoever would have thought that they'd make computers smaller than the maxipads of yore.

  15. Awesome shoes, awesome post... and awesome things you learned! :)

  16. This made me laugh. And I LOVE your shoes!!


I love you. You are my best friend! Your hair looks fantastic today!