My first couple days back from Texas were hard for me and the kids. I was used to doing whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted and so where they.
Before I left, Alex had started this darling habit of taking his pants and diaper off all the time. I understand that he doesn't like being wet and I told him to let me know when he is wet and I will change his diaper but he likes taking it off himself and then streaking through the family room or sitting on Tickle Me Elmo which I find very disturbing.
Anyway, this particular day, he took his diaper off when he was in his crib for a nap. I didn't go up to him when he woke up right away because I was busy eating bon-bons and watching The Hills but when I did, I immediately knew something was terribly wrong because of the stench! There was poop. And it was everywhere. I think he will make a great finger painter when I decide to let him make that big of a mess.
I cleaned him and his room up and got him dressed in a new outfit. He was playing quietly in the family room so I decided to run outside to get the mail like I always do around 3:42pm. I go out the front door because if I have a package the mailman leaves it there. It is not very far to the mailbox...just to the end of the driveway and I have very long legs and am not one to dawdle. I returned to my front door and it would not open.
I ran around to the garage which Hubby often leaves unlocked (but not anymore) and came in through the side door and found my darling little 2 year old boy in the kitchen with his arms into a drawer that he is not supposed to be in.
He looked extremely surprised to see me. I went over to the front door to see why it wouldn't open and the lock had been turned just a little bit. Just enough to keep the door from opening.
My little darling, sweet 2 year old boy had locked me out of the house so he could get into the silverware drawer.
I ordered his sweet little butt downstairs and he shook his head violently and yelled NO! I put him in a time out and did an internet search for Boarding Preschools. I think we will need an alternative to Juvy!!
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A few days later....Alex comes to me all smiles and says CRAP. I asked him if he needed a diaper change? He tells me No. I asked if he has poop? He says No. Big Smile. I then look across the family room floor to see that he had pulled the poop out of this diaper and left it for Mallory to play with.
And this is why I have graduated from Wine to Margaritas!!
LMAO! What I wouldn't give to be a fly on the wall that day!!!
ReplyDeleteTeeehhhahhhahahahahahahahhahahaha. I'm sorry. Hahahahhahahahahahahhaha
ReplyDeletehehehehehe
ReplyDeleteWhere do they learn that stuff?
I look at it this way, it took Erik several hours to brew up that terd, so Meghan should be grateful that he put so much effort into it!
The HILLS? you watch that crap?
So does hubs...Its kinda starting to grow on me.