My Last Text to my Brother

On July 7th last year, we were winding down the holiday weekend and Keith grilled ribs.  We were sitting on the patio, enjoying the beautiful weather and a bottle of wine.  I was admiring my basil plants and swatting bugs away from my wine.

I came up with a genius solution to my bug problem without having to go into the house for a stopper.

I knew that my brother would appreciate my ingenuity so I texted him a picture.

I titled it Ghetto Wine Cork.

I didn't get a response.  

I didn't think much of it because he had recently moved to a beautiful new townhome and I was sure he was very busy setting up his place.

What I didn't know is that he was dead. 

It's been a year today and my brain still can't accept it.  I don't think I ever will.

I miss you Rob.

Necessary Evil

I started the weekend grateful for no plans and two full days of building legos, eating snacks, watching the food network and naps.

Two hours later, I was grateful that I had a down comforter because I found myself sick in bed with the stomach flu.  Keith kept the kids quiet with movies and popcorn while I slept.

The only good thing about the stomach flu....is the weight loss.

Saturday night, my world was ripped apart with news of another attempted abduction of a child the next town over....just 7 miles door to door.  I sat up in bed obsessively checking twitter because the grandmother of the victim had managed to snap a picture of the car with her cell phone.

I finally had to go to sleep....I was delirious with fever and fear.  But sleep didn't come easily because I was angry that my children aren't safe.  I tweeted that my kids were never going outside again....and I was only half kidding.

Sunday brought a beautiful Colorado day.  A perfect day for playing outside with friends.  Mallory asked to go outside but we had to say no.  Poor thing had a sick mama and a daddy on a deadline trying to work and take care of kids at the same time.  There wasn't an adult to go out with her...which is the new rule.

The new rule.

We have a bunch of new rules now.  You can't run ahead.  I have to be able to see you at all times.  Don't talk to or take anything from people you don't know.  Adults don't need kids help so if someone asks you to help them find their puppy you need to scream and run.  Run fast.

I hate the new rules.

But they are a necessary evil because there is evil among us and I can't have blind trust that they will be safe.  You all know me.  I'm pro-active and I can't sit and do nothing.  You know damn well that if someone harms ONE hair on my kids' heads that I'd go ape shit crazy.  Some of you think I'm already there.

With all of this said.  The one thing I could find to be thankful for this week is....Law Enforcement.

Bless them for all they are doing and have done to try to keep my community safe.

And Rest in Peace Jessica Ridgefield.

Helicopter Parents UNITE!

I wanted to tell you about a great new TV show that I watched last night but I can't.  I have to re-watch Nashville for a few reasons.  1.) iKeith wasn't home to watch it with me.  He was working late on a deadline.  IT'S APP SEASON, BABY! 2.) I cried through most of it.

There's been a lot of sadness in Colorado this week.  Friday morning, a 10 year old girl left for school and disappeared.  I've been watching twitter and facebook and the news like a hawk each time there is a press conference.  I've held my kids tighter and watched them closer.

Last night, they found a body. 

I considered sleeping in my kids' room last night.  Unwilling to let them out of my sight. Tears in my eyes and a heavy heart.  I tossed and turned until Keith finally came home.  I was uneasy until my family was all under one roof.

And now I sit here, coffee in hand....awaiting the 6:30am press conference.  My heart hurts for Jessica's parents and family.  I'm sure they didn't sleep at all and won't for awhile.

Please, if you can...say a prayer for Jessica Ridgeway's family today.  Keep them in your thoughts.

And hold your kids a little tighter.

If you need me, I'll be sitting in the lobby of my kids' school.

Helicopter parents UNITE!

Update:  Westminster PD will not confirm that the body they found last night is the body of Jessica.  They are still searching.  I'm feeling very uneasy.  

Time To Say Goodbye

It's 3 o'clock in the afternoon in Denmark and Helle should be almost home.  It's been a while since she's seen her family because she's spent the last year as my friends Au Pair.

For the last 9 months, she's been my friend and occasional babysitter.

I will fully admit that I judged her harshly when I first saw her.  I didn't think that the skinny blonde in the cut offs and high heels would have anything in common with me.  Heck.  I'm old enough to be her Mother!

It took a few weeks but we started talking and I discovered what a thoughtful and kind person she is.  She was so helpful during the school year, watching Mallory when I volunteered in Alex's classroom.  And she watched the kids a few times, so Keith and I could have more date nights together.

I loved our Girls Night's with the rest of our group. They normally took place after PTA meetings and we affectionately called them P (minus T) A Meetings.  She even came to one PTA meeting and that is when the rumor started that I was related to her Host Mom.  I love these girls like family!

My favorite memory  of Helle is when she came to my apartment during Christmas Break and showed me how to make traditional Danish Rice Pudding.  It will  always be our Christmas tradition.  We will always think of Helle.

I tried desperately to get her to marry my brother in law Robert before she left so that she'd have to come back and then she'd be my sister.  She declined.  She's got big plans to go to school and wants to be a teacher.  She's going to do great things and I'm so sad that I may never see her again.

Life....will not be as much fun without her.