The Book of Mormon

Oh my heck!

I'd forgotten how much iKeith and I love the theater.  When we were first dating he bought us season tickets and I was hooked!  We had a lovely brunch at Marlowe's on the 16th Street Mall that contained bottomless mimosas.  After buying some flip flops at H&M, we hurried to the theater and it was like we we're 33 and 40 again!

The Book of Mormon Musical is really funny.  It's even more funny if you lived in a very strict Mormon community and lived the musical.  Keith and I laughed more than anyone in our section because we had been there before.  Brother Horton trained us well!

There are so many funny parts, lots of f bombs, inappropriateness with frogs and irreverent humor.  The songs are so catchy that you'll be singing them for days.

Keith and I were delighted to discover that we could take drinks from the bar into the theater to enjoy during the show.  They had cocktails, wine, beer and coffee.  This is what we got.

One of our favorite scenes was the Spooky Mormon Hell Dream!  If featured giant cups of Starbucks and demons.  Of course, we also really liked the song about Sal Tlay Ka Siti (Salt Lake City) being the promised land and paradise.  If these poor people only knew.

Have you seen The Book of Mormon?  

Norman The Mormon

Today is the day that we've been waiting 8 months for!  The day we get to see The Book of Mormon! I have to laugh because my kids think we're going to see The Book of ParaMormon....which reminds me of our experience in Utah with our local missionaries.  

This is a re-post from July 8, 2008. We had many more adventures in Utah, click here to read more.  Be advised that I used to call Keith by a different name because he was working a top secret job.

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Most of you know the continuing saga with my husband and his Mormon Missionary buddy who has been coming to our house for brainwashing bible study.

Keith thought they had wrapped things up last week and he had made clear that he wasn't interested in being Mormon.

Last night, 8 pm....there is a knock at the door. I freeze. I know who it is. It is Brother Horton Hears A Who. That is my new name for him. His name is Brother Horton....I added the Hears A Who.

He has brought Keith a book to read. Okay. So this guy is f*cking deaf not listening because Keith told him he doesn't like to read and that is one of his issues with the church. There is too much fasting/church attending/sobriety reading.

We talked last night about how Keith must really be jacking up their statistics on how long it takes to convert someone. And I bet there is a weekly memo about the attempts at saving Heathen Weiss. I told him I'm glad that Brother Horton Hears A Who parks across the street because I'm sure everyone on the block knows his car and is aware of what he is doing here. They are all waiting patiently for news that we have been proselytized converted.

And Mallory. OH the poor thing. When Horton Hears A Who was at our door last night. She started screaming at the top of her lungs and dug her nails into my neck. It took me 10 minutes to calm her down. She apparently has an allergy aversion to Mormons.

Then....this morning when I was making my coffee. I saw it. The book that Brother Horton Hears A Who brought for Keith to read.



That would be Norman the Mormon.

I laughed my tushie off! Brother Horton will not give up!! And now he really does think we are Jewish, which was my next plan of getting them off our back. I was looking for a Star of David to put on my front door!

I really wish that our desire to not be Mormons and just co-exist was possible. It seems to be all or nothing here. I have known so many people that haven't tried to convert me to their religion and it was never a condition of our friendship.

In their defense. I am not talking about all Mormons. I have met a few that have accepted me as I am. However, I live in a community that doesn't welcome outsiders unless you become one of them. In fact, we learned recently that for a long time they refused to sell their land and homes to non-Mormons. This is the kind of sh*t I am dealing with.

And it looks like I better find a way to co-exist with them because the word on the street is that we are not moving anytime soon.

I'm crushed about it.

Lord help me find a way to live in Utah. I don't want to be miserable.

1...2...3, Eyes On Me

Hip Hip Hooray!  It's a Skittle Day!

Life is good.  The kids are both enjoying school and love their teachers.  Parents and teachers are lining up to join the PTA and I'm enjoying my three beautiful hours of free time in the morning.

Of course, everything is not coming up roses....there has to be a thorn.  I have only made a few new friends so far.  I've been reminded that last year was special, it's only been five days and some people are intimidated by my personality beauty.  Thank you Keith for that clarification.

My afternoons with Mallory have been so fun.  She likes to clean mess up her room and watch My Little Pony.  Yesterday.....I gave her a little bag of animal crackers and when she was done, she asked me what they were made out of.  I said...Animals.

This is the look she gave me.

She insisted that I was kidding.  

I suggested that she should learn to read so that she could read the labels on her food.

Two hours later, she picked up a book and started reading it....out loud.  She was READING the book.

Five days of Kindergarten and my girl can READ!

See how smug she looks?  I think she's been reading for a while and holding out on us.

Poor Alex should get used to be taught.  Before bed last night, she was demanding that he have EYES ON HER.  Maybe she'll be a school teacher someday....

Linking up with Emmy Mom and Kmama for Proud Mommy Moments!

Sound The Alarm!

I can't wait anymore.

Somebody that I know.....works very hard on apps.  Somebody recently finished his first project that he worked on night and day with a small team.  It was somebody's baby!  Watching somebody work on it, was like watching a woman in labor but only if that woman were in labor for 10 weeks and you didn't get to know if it was a boy or a girl for another 2 weeks.

Just be glad that no one ever gets to rate your baby on itunes.

Ahem.  The app I want to tell you about today is this one.  Hoops and YoYo...Sound The Alarm!

You know those two obnoxious little characters from Hallmark right?  A few years ago, someone gave my kids a birthday card with these guys in it.  A audio card.  They played with it for a year!  They are entertaining in small doses or if you've had a cocktail.

This app is a timer/alarm with funny soundbites.  I use it to tell me to take dinner out of the oven, to wake up my kids for school, to remember to take my vitamins, when I put a kid on the naughty chair and to remind myself to have another cup of coffee.  Not really, I don't need an alarm to remind me to do that but the sound bites are funny!

Coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee....get it right now.  It's time for a coffee break.  Get it right Now!

The kids love playing with it and it does get them out of bed in the morning.  You should get it!  It's only .99 cents.  AND if you like it, you should rate it on itunes and say something like...the guy that made this has the most amazing wife in the world!  And she's pretty.

Disclaimer: I was paid in sex for the review of this app.  

I'm Raising A Man

I'm starting out the week super busy so that I'm not sad that my kids are in school and I'm all alone!

This morning I'm meeting Denise from Eat Play Love for coffee at our favorite spot in Arvada.  Gosh I love this girl!  She's a lot Democrat....I'm a lot Republican, she's a little bit granola...I'm a little bit city girl but we get along great because we're MOMS with the same goals for our families.

Then...I have a hot date with the Colorado PTA office.  WOOT!

I'm telling you...PTA Membership Chair is the perfect job for me.   I love it!

I came across this on Pinterest yesterday and I thought it was fabulous.  Couldn't wait to share it with you.

First Day of the Rest of Their Lives

Oh what a great day!

The first day of school!

I have to tell you....my feelings were hurt when we told Mallory that she had to pick one of us to take her to her first day and she picked iKeith.  I've devoted my life to her every waking moment and when she picks her favorite.

It wasn't me.

Actually, I think if she'd had a real choice she would have picked Aunt Bobbi. But she's not here.

iKeith took lost of pictures and video but there is one picture that has me laughing so hard.

The Stink Eye.

This little girl was getting too close for comfort.

In the end, she was very happy and said she couldn't wait to go back.  YAY!

Alex also had a good day even though I was worried sick about being away from him all day.  I was really concerned about lunch for some reason.  He is undecided on going back.  HA!  I told him he doesn't have a choice.

Now the question is....what do I do now?

On Cloud Nine

I'm feeling so blessed today.

School starts tomorrow and we just finished two nights of Kindergarten Orientation.  Alex wasn't terribly excited to go back to school until he walked into his new classroom and sat at his desk.  We set his school supplies down, he introduced himself to his seat mate and waved us away.

Keith and I attended a meeting in the gym, sitting with friends.  Ironically, Keith and Dan sat and giggled like two 6 year old boys and Margaret and I had to keep giving them the evil eye.  We skipped the parking lot tour....we're pros this year!

I put my name on several volunteer sign up sheets.  I'm excited that I have more time to spend in the classroom....helping out.  More time.

What am I going to do with all of this time?  You can bet I've got a list going....that's how I roll.

I returned to Alex's classroom to find him in the front row singing and dancing with the rest of the class.   You could see the confidence on his face!  He fell right back into the routine and he's excited for school to start.  I couldn't be more pleased!

Last night, we left Mallory in her new classroom and I was afraid she was going to cry.  She's been so excited the last few days!  She couldn't wait to see her desk for the first time and seek out two friends that she'd hadn't met yet.  But then the moment arrived and she looked scared.

We forced ourselves to walk away.

We skipped the meeting in the gym.  I told Keith the night before if he found Mallory's teacher and got her permission NOT to attend again, we'd go to dinner.  Based on how quickly he completed this task....I'm guessing he really didn't want to sit through that again. HA!

We returned from dinner to find the happiest little girl I've ever seen sporting a sticker on her shirt for being the first student to find all of the items in the classroom.  As we stood on the playground, enjoying cookies and lemonade, the principal and new assistant principal came by to tell us how amazing little Mallory was in class.  Ninety minutes and they already knew her name!

That's my girl!

Keith and I are mentoring four new families this year.   It has been such a great experience!  Imagine getting to share your love for your school with new people and answering their questions and helping them through a fearful experience!  Now I know how Mormon Missionaries feel.

You're going to love it.  This school is going to change your life!  

Keepin It Classy

My in laws are in town.

Since they've been here I've cheated on my diet twice.  

I blame the wine.

That is Robert finishing the box.  We don't like to be wasteful.  And we're a classy bunch!

You Might Be a Blogger if....

you embarrass your entire family by chasing a guy down in the Target parking lot....... to get a picture of his shirt.

Someone may have asked me to never, ever do that to them again.

Also....

This guy doesn't watch The Bachelorette and didn't know anything about Emily and Jef (with one F).

Team PTA

I am drowning.

Drowning in paperwork after packet pick up on Tuesday.  I'm thrilled that so many people want to join PTA and there were so many generous people that made donations and then left little notes that said....NEVER CONTACT ME AGAIN.  I heart those people!

We combined technology and PTA this year by having the ability to take credit cards!  We did it through Squareup.com and it worked beautifully....once I got the wifi at school figured out.  NOTE: We have since switched to Paypal because they have their own reader now and you can register as a non-profit and the fee is lower! 

A man must have put up all of the signs in the gym.  Notice the duct tape.  A woman would have NEVER used that.  Note to self: Next year bring packing tape.

My friend Jennifer is assisting me with Membership this year and we anxiously awaited 11am when they would let the line of people into the building.  Packet pick up lasts for 8 hours but there are some people that pride themselves on being first.  I think some people camp out.

So....things are moving right along and we're really busy at first and then there'd be a break and then busy again.  The day was going quickly!  Then an older woman that I'd met last year when she'd told me about how she adopted a beautiful little girl from another country, approached our table.

She comes up and she asks Jennifer...Are you helping your Mom out today?  I sat there stunned because I wasn't sure that I'd heard her correctly because I am hard of hearing because I'm so old.  Jennifer doesn't miss a beat, she tells the lady....No, my Mom is at my house watching my 6 year old and my baby.

The woman (who should know better than to assume something like that since she's at least 15 years older than ME) didn't apologize or join PTA.

It was really fun to have a front row seat to watch people open their packets to see which teacher they got and scan the list of students for best friends.

My brand new Kindergartener would like you to know that there are 7 days until school starts.

Are you ready?

It's Not So Bad

Today, is the 2 year anniversary of our family returning to Denver from our hardship tour in Utah.

It's been a great two years and we're so pleased with how things are going.  The kids are happy, we're all healthy and we love being in our hometown!

The thing I didn't see coming was that we'd still be in this apartment.  The day we moved in....I swore we'd get out as soon as humanly possible.  That time hasn't come.

There are really only a few minor inconveniences at this point and we love our low rent because it allows us to travel more.  Did I tell you that we're going to Universal Orlando and Animal Kingdom in November?  We also love the location near a lake,  nearness to our favorite restaurants and shopping and the swimming pool outside our door!

You'll be happy to know that the squirrel population has declined greatly.

Every year since we've moved back, I've taken a picture of the kids at Belmar Park.  I love this tradition!  Look how much they've changed.

Let Me Eat Muffins!

I really do have something cool to tell you about....but I'm waiting for a press release! UGH. I guess this is how things work and you have to be patient, which I am not.

In my absence from my blog this week, I've been getting ready for the first official event that means school is starting soon.

Packet Pick Up!

I can't wait to get my hands on that packet and fill my calendar with activities!  I'll also be signing families up for PTA.  Can't wait to make some new friends and have a great year.

Something interesting was brought to my attention this week and I just had to laugh.

Our school has Muffins for Moms and Donuts for Dads.  It's a time for us to go to the classroom and observe the routine for a short amount of time.  But first, we get a snack, a cup of coffee and a pep talk from the principal.

This year they are changing the names to Morning with Moms and Daybreak with Dads.

Are donuts and muffins offensive to some people?

I'm so tired of people telling me what I can and can't say, what i can and can't eat, and what I can and can't believe because they think it's offensive.  If you don't like a word, don't say it.  If you don't agree with someone's beliefs, don't believe it.  If you don't like guns, don't buy one.  If you don't like french fries in Happy Meals, don't buy them.

And just because my beliefs or opinions are different than yours...doesn't make me a hater!

Political correctness does not legislate tolerance; it only organizes hatred.
Jacques Barzun



What political correctiveness has got you shaking your head?