Thursday, April 29, 2010

Expiration Dates

Time, why do you punish me?
Like a wave bashing into the shore
You wash away my dreams.

Time, why do you walk away?
Like a friend with somewhere to go
You left me crying

I can't get enough done lately.  I live with this sense of urgency that no one else in my life seems to have.  There are so many expiration dates I'm dealing 40th birthday which feels like the end of the world, Calvin's job (they want him to work nights and weekends...for what?) and the project that he's been working on (people like it, no one wants it).  People act like we have all the time in the world...but we don't.  The hourglass has been turned over and the sand is running through fast.....

Time is wasting
Time is walking
You ain't no friend of mine
I don't know where i'm goin'
I think I'm out of my mind
Thinking about time

We've started talking about Kindergarten with Alex.  He wants to go to school so badly and he's growing up so fast that I'm becoming more and more aware of how little time I have left with him...everyday, all day.  I laid next to him in bed the other night and tried to forget that he's already four.  FOUR. 

Time, you left me standing there
Like a tree growing all alone
The wind just stripped me bare, stripped me bare
Time, the past has come and gone
The future's far away
Now only lasts for one second, one second
Can you teach me about tomorrow
And all the pain and sorrow
Running free?
'Cause tomorrow's just another day
And I don't believe in time

This beautiful girl here.  She moved out of her crib yesterday.  Sleeping on a mattress on the floor like a college freshmen. She's got a memory like a steel trap and she's got the attitude of a teenage girl...with her slamming doors and being mad at cha.  Thank goodness her anger is shortlived and she's still small enough to curl up on my lap for a cuddle.  This time will end too.  Soon...I won't be cool anymore and she won't want to be seen with me.

Time, why you punish me?

My horoscope today says: You may not be able to see the path laid out before you in perfect detail, but past experience and instincts serve you well.


  1. I try not to think about it too much, but when I do I really get worked up about how quickly time goes by and how fast my little ones are growing up too - way too fast in my opinion.

    So I feel you. Hope you are feeling more upbeat today. Thinking happy thoughts for you!! :)

  2. I've had similar thoughts about my children lately. My babies are so big now and, of course, I'm so proud and happy to see them growing big and strong, but oh my goodness it's happening so quickly.

    Sorry Calvin is being asked to work so much. Surely that means he's clear from next week's layoffs though.

    Hugs to you sweet friend!

  3. Ugh, I'm with ya. I try to ignore it, otherwise it leaves me feeling a little sick inside. It passes by so quickly.

  4. Oh how we think alike!! I so want to hold on to these babies and NOT let them grow up. It's selfish- I know. But that's part of being a momma.


  5. Also- awesome song- hadn't listened to it in so long.


  6. Very prophetic. Being a planner it is hard for me not to look ahead and wonder what is coming. I have to remind myself to live in the moment, and not worry so much about the moments to come.

  7. Connie those pictures are GORGEOUS - I see so much of you in Alex!

    Hang in there & try not to stress - it's the journey, not the destination (at least, I keep telling myself that while I make my lists & check things off!) And 40 is NOT the end of the world, I'll be right there with you :)


  8. Makes me so oldest is 8 and it feels like shes 18. Time is so fleeting

  9. It's going faster and faster, isn't it? Beautiful photos of the kids, Connie. I need to check out your new blog... cool!


I love you. You are my best friend! Your hair looks fantastic today!