“All parents damage their children. It cannot be helped. Youth, like pristine glass, absorbs the prints of its handlers. Some parents smudge, others crack, a few shatter childhood completely into jagged little pieces, beyond repair.” -Mitch Albom, The Five People You Meet in Heaven
This qoute is from a post by Jen at Playgroups are no place for Children, and it really got me thinking about my kids childhood. For many years...I wanted to be a Mom. I had many years to think about the kind of Mother I wanted to be because I didn't have Alex until I was 35 year old. I always knew that I wanted to stay home and raise them myself. I couldn't bear the thought of letting someone else teach them and watch them grow while I went off to a job. I never really enjoyed working anyway....I would rather be keeping a home, cooking and crafting. I'm as non-feminist as you can get. I'd be a Stepford Wife if it wasn't for my opinions and my big mouth!
I'm blessed that things worked out they way they did and I'm a Stay At Home Mom. It allows me to be exactly where I believe I'm needed and I'm so thankful that my husband agrees that this is where I belong. I feel so badly for the women that want to be home but can't, because they have to work. I can't imagine being in that position and I hope I never have to be. And I know that some Moms love working and don't want to be home. Not everyone is cut out to be home all the time. I get it!
I'm anxious. I have so many crafts, plans and activities that I want to do with the kids and I realize that they are still a little young for some of them but I still try. Like making Ice Cream. That might have been a little too much for them but we did it as a family (kind of...Alex didn't want to) and we laughed, sang and had fun.
They were probably too young for the Christmas Carol Train but we got out of the house and did something different and we were together. Here are the character morph pictures from that day....
Me...
Alex
Scary CalvinI know that there are many moms that don't want to keep a journal of their kids lives or go through the trouble of planning crafts and outings. And that's fine. Some people (not just you Bobbi) think I'm a glutton for punishment and that it's not worth the trouble. It's not trouble to me...even if it doesn't turn out like I planned, I still tried. I still made an effort and they got an experience they didn't have before.
I've never been one to sit on my hands. I need to be busy and I take my job as the mother of the two cutest kids in Utah very seriously. I am desperate to give them a fun childhood with crafts, sports, outings and vacations. I want to experience so many things with them, find what they are really interested in and watch them thrive. And I want them to be children for as long as they possibly can! I want to make good decisions and never cause them pain. I want my prints to shape them into great people. I never want to leave them broken....
I know I'm not perfect and I don't want to be....and I know I'll make mistakes but hopefully the effort I put in will result in healthy, happy, well-rounded children and they will be wonderful adults some day and remember that their Mother loved them and wanted them to be happy.
The days are long....but the years are short.
So very very inspiring.
ReplyDeleteYou know, I feel like I could have written this exact post, but insert Disneyland in that middle part. :)
BUT, sometimes I just sidetracked and caught up in *life*. All of those dreams of being a stay at home mom, all of the wonderful things we'd do together.
You made me realize that the time is NOW. This is what I was dreaming of all these years. And though I've come to the realization many times that my role in this family as mother is SO important, often times I let my feelings of unimportance or boredom creep in and rob my family. I realized awhile ago that as the mother, I lead this family in the area of experience & memories. I feel that it is the mother's job to make things happen in this area.
You've totally inspired me to make it happen. Cook together, do crafts together, extra special fun things together.
We read ALLLLLL day long. We play & goof around, go to the park {mostly when I walk}, but I need to do all the crafty stuff. When Maddison was little, I used to let her paint in bath before bath time. She *loved* it. I loved watching her have fun. It comforted my fears of messes & such. :) And that simple thing, I feel, is one of those fun things she'll look back on and always remember.
Thanks again, this post is golden. I may even write a similar post & reference yours. SO you may get a repeat read on some of this stuff. :)
Hmm. Touchy subject for me.
ReplyDeleteYour post is beautiful, and it sounds like you are leading your family down the right path.
But, don't feel bad for me. I LOVE my job and am a better mother for it.
I LOVE that I contribute financially to my household, and that I helped us purchase our home, and that we chose an amazing daycare for our son to thrive in.
And in said daycare, he is not being raised. He is becoming social, he is learning to deal with authority that are not his parents, he is creating relationships with people who are not blood related to him, he is learning- fast, he is playing and singing and reading and getting boo-boos and being loved on and comforted.
He is blessed. He gets to have an amazing time at school for a few hours, then comes home to two amazing parents who missed him all day and who are raising him.
Just my two cents :)
Thank you for sharing that post. I so appreciate your honesty and heartfelt words. I am with you 100% :)
ReplyDelete@Amber...I am so thankful for the wonderful bloggers that I've met over the last 2 years. I love that we support and are inspired by each other. It makes doing our jobs as mother's so much more rewarding than I ever thought possible. I can't wait to read your post!
ReplyDelete@Erin...I don't feel badly for you! I know that you love your job and I'm so happy that you have a great place for Merrick to be during the day. I hope I haven't offended you...it was not my intention at all.
@Raising Z...thank you for your support!
Thanks for sharing your perspective - I wish that they created a Working Stepford Wife - because, I would so sign on the dotted line. I love my job, but, I want my kid to have the best childhood and home baked cookies. Unfortunately, reality doesn't provide me enough hours in the day.
ReplyDeleteOne day, I hope to be just like you (in a strictly non-creepy, non-stalker way- pinky swear).
ReplyDeleteThis is a great post, Connie. I do try very hard to DO things with my kids, though lately they are so rotten that I've been avoiding it all. I realize, though, that one day I'll wish that I'd have gotten over being nervous about their behavior and just let them experience life outside of the walls of this house.
ReplyDelete