The Bachelorette...Take Me Home

Oh My HEAD!

My drinking game was a hoot last night! IF I hadn't been doing shots of water and taking small sips of my Screwdriver....man o man!

This week Jillian went on FIVE hometown dates. BOOTS! She started off in Philly with Reid with a squeal. He shows her the city...which looked pretty cool and then she met his parents and two brothers. His mom made a point of telling her that kids gravitate to Reid. When talking to his brothers...they say that Reid hasn't been ready and he finds lots of girls to date but they just disappear. I hope they didn't mean MISSING POSTER disappear and that he just stops dating them. I thought this hometown was BORING!

Next she heads to California to see Michael and he is jumping up and down with joy. He has a twin brother and they trade clothes to trick her and she recognizes him right away. Good Job Jill! She chatted with the bro and feels better about his age and sister Jena shows up from out of the country to meet her.

Still in California, is Kiptyn. He earns a squeal and she's wearing shoes. It appears that Kip's family lives in a giant house and she is worried that she is a hillbilly next to these hoity toity folks. His family has seen The Bachelor and have roped off the hot tub with caution tape. They subject her to a taste test of lasagna and wine. Luckily, she passes and then Kip's Mom grills her for a while (not on a GRILL). Kip and Jill hop into the hot tub while Mommy Dearest is watching them from the window. I'm not sure I'd want this woman for my Mother in Law.

Then she is off to Jesse's Winery again in California and she gets to ride on a little tractor. Note to Jillian: This would have been a good time to wear your BOOTS! You don't wear high heel shoes to a FARM! Jesse admits to her that he is really slow to open up but he feels like they are progressing well. Jill meets the parents and his hairy brother Jacob who I found a little bit sexy! Jacob asks Jill some questions and asks if they've been naked...she says that comes later in the show! Jacob tells her that Jesse is like an emotional Ice Cube. I see Jills face and she has just frozen....

Jillian goes to Austin in Red Boots! And squeals when she sees Wes and she gets to meet the band, drink a beer and listen to him sing. OH JOY! He even sings her the 4 lines of the song he wrote for her and she swoons! CD CD CD! Meanwhile, back at the hotel...Jake has arrived and he fake calls Tanner on the phone to make sure he is doing the right thing. Wes tells Jill he isn't a good liar ( he has said this like 50 times....and now I believe he is an EXCELLENT liar) and wants to make this work.

Jake comes to Jill's room and wants to tell her something. He hims and haws and finally after I threw my notepad at the TV...he spits it out. Wes has a girlfriend and her name is Laurel. Poor Jill she starts crying and threatens to quit the show. Jake tells her to be careful because Wes is quick on his feet. Click HERE to learn more about Laurel.

Wes finally shows up to take her to meet his family and she confronts him...telling him that Jake is here and he says he told him on numerous occasions that he has a girlfriend. He denies it, Jake comes back to the room, he confronts him, he still denies it. Jake leaves and cries in the hallway. THEN...she goes to meet his family anyway.

She meets Wes's Mom, Step Mom and sisters. They all collaborate his story of no girl friend. And why wouldn't they...they need his CD to succeed so he isn't living in their basement anymore. Of course they are going to lie for him. Jillian continues to fall for Wes.

Back in Beverly Hills, there is a knock at Jillian's door and there is ED! A vision in purple argyle! He explains that he got home and couldn't stop thinking about her and realized he made a terrible mistake and can he come back please. She makes him feel just a little bit bad about leaving her like that and says this sh!t is BANANAS (B A N A N A S) but yes! Come to the rose ceremony! I'm so happy!

But now...she can still only give out FOUR roses. Two must go home.

At the rose ceremony, Chris Harrison announces that someone is joining them and Ed walks in. The guys are pissed! I predict that someone is going to beat Ed's @ss after the show. In the end, she sends home....

Jesse who says that he is sad and feels like the rug was pulled out from under him by Ed.

Michael leaves with a broken heart. He admits that he really loved her and that he is going to miss her but wants her to be happy.

Next Week: SPAIN! MORE ED! SQUEAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

David~27 Trucking Contractor from Ohio
*First Impression Rose, picked by Globetrotters as match for Jill, keeper of the Man Code, wants to tie Juan to a tree and beat him, acts like a Toddler, a challenge

Jake~ 31 Airline Pilot from Dallas
*gave her wings, first One on One Date, ab's of steel, perfect

Jesse~27 Wine Maker from California
*turned down Italy for Jill, MVP of Curling, wants to be a Canadian, makes Jillian giddy, Emotional Ice Cube

Wes~32 Country Music Singer from Austin
*singing guy, winner of race & dinner, allegedly has a girlfriend, is just there to sell records, girlfriends name is Laurel.

Michael~25 Break Dance Instructor from New York
*in gay scene with Mike, has a crush on Jill, big goofy puppy, wants to be a young dad

Robby~25 Bartender from Houston
*made her a ROZMO, great movie scene with Jill, agrees with David, left for dead on the train tracks

Ed~29 IT Consultant from Chicago *looks like Denny, popped his helicopter cherry, workaholic, had to leave for work, COMES BACK!!

Reid~ 30 Realtor from Philly
*been in love 1.5 times, cuddly

Kiptyn~ 31 General Contractor from California
*heartbreaker, great chemistry with Jill, charitably

Mike~28 Baseball Camp Owner from NY
*good catch guy, in gay scene with Michael

Sasha~ 27 Oil and Gas Guy from Houston
*looking for the mythical unicorn

Tanner P. ~ 30 Financial Analyst from Dallas
*foot fetish guy, loves open toed shoes, tattle tale

Mark~ 26 Pizza guy from Denver
heartbroken and cheated on, winner of threesome, cheated on 4 times

Brad~27 Financial Advisor from Chicago
*co-winner of race

Tanner F. ~28 Sales Rep from Denver

Juan~35 General Contractor from California
*brought her wine, most hated man in house, dumps out his shots, gentleman, cheese-ass