I really do have something cool to tell you about....but I'm waiting for a press release! UGH. I guess this is how things work and you have to be patient, which I am not.
In my absence from my blog this week, I've been getting ready for the first official event that means school is starting soon.
Packet Pick Up!
I can't wait to get my hands on that packet and fill my calendar with activities! I'll also be signing families up for PTA. Can't wait to make some new friends and have a great year.
Something interesting was brought to my attention this week and I just had to laugh.
Our school has Muffins for Moms and Donuts for Dads. It's a time for us to go to the classroom and observe the routine for a short amount of time. But first, we get a snack, a cup of coffee and a pep talk from the principal.
This year they are changing the names to Morning with Moms and Daybreak with Dads.
Are donuts and muffins offensive to some people?
I'm so tired of people telling me what I can and can't say, what i can and can't eat, and what I can and can't believe because they think it's offensive. If you don't like a word, don't say it. If you don't agree with someone's beliefs, don't believe it. If you don't like guns, don't buy one. If you don't like french fries in Happy Meals, don't buy them.
And just because my beliefs or opinions are different than yours...doesn't make me a hater!
Political correctness does not legislate tolerance; it only organizes hatred. Jacques Barzun
What political correctiveness has got you shaking your head?
I have all of these thoughts floating around and they need released...like butterflies!
I recently discovered that my husband loves Jersey Girls. I found out when I was watching The Real Housewives of New Jersey and he sat down and watched intently. I also found out that he and his brothers' call butter on popcorn...shine. We've been married almost 8 years and I've never heard him call it that before.
There are only 7 school days left and I can't wait for this year to be over! There are some children in Alex's class that don't treat him very well and he just wants to be friends with everyone but they make it hard. I'm hopeful that there will be much nicer kids in his class next year. Keith tells me that there will always be jackholes to deal with. He says it's human nature. I said, 'even in a convent?' and he said, 'Yes, even they have predatory lesbians.' I almost peed my pants and now I shall blame everything wrong with the world on predatory lesbians instead of Obama.
Mallory had her last tumbling class yesterday and is mad at me because I had planned to take a activity break for the summer because I have so much fun stuff planned for us. Keith and I talked it over last night and decided to let her keep going because...what if she is good enough for the Olympics? It could happen.
After watching The Bachelorette last night I have made two observations.
1.) I've been married for almost 8 years and there is no way in hell I could write a 7 page letter to my husband.
2.) My husband's new nickname is Chopper. (he used to fly helicopters)
I am proud to announce that this morning I am being sworn in as the PTA Membership Chairperson. I know what you're thinking and yes, I might be cray cray. BUT....I think this will be the perfect job for me and I'm already thinking of ways to blackmail get people to join the PTA and come to meetings. It involves suckers.
I was not able to post a recap of The Bachelor yesterday because I had a special post up about how I found the love of my life on eHarmony. If you missed it...hop on over and check it out because I'm giving away a $100 gift card and there are two chances to win.
Bachelor Recap in one paragraph
Belize is beautiful and Ben is clueless. Lindzi gets a date where they jump from a helicopter into a blue hole and then they put a message in a bottle. Emily's date finds the happy couple catching their own lobsters and talking about Courtney. Courtney gets her own date where she shows her true colors...but Ben doesn't see them. On the group date, after swimming with sharks, a few girls tell Ben to tread lightly and he takes it as a person challenge. Rachel and Emily go home. It's down to the final four...Lindzi, Courtney, Kacie B and Nicki.
Book Club Announcement
Today, Mimi and I are announcing our next book club selection! I have to tell you....I really enjoyed all of your comments and participation on the Facebook group. MWF Seeks BFF would not been as fun to read without it! This month we are reading......150 Pounds by Kate Rockland.
If you would like to be in the running for a copy of this book, all you have to do is leave me a comment saying I WANT THE BOOK. I will pick the winner on Friday night!
Here's the snopsis from Amazon:
A smartly-written novel by author, Kate Rockland, of two women starting at opposite ends of the scale--and finding compromise and friendship in their journey towards 150 pounds
In the fast paced life of blogging, two women stand out: Alexis Allbright, of Skinny Chick, and Shoshana Weiner, who writes Fat and Fabulous. Both have over five million loyal readers. Both are hungry for success. But the similarities stop there.
With over 100 pounds on the scale separating them, weight isn't their only difference. Alexis is a loner who is so bitchy the only person who can stand her company is her gay best friend Billy. She gives neurotic New Yorkers a run for their money with her strict daily workout routine, and weighing of food. Shoshana is Alexis’s opposite. Living in Jersey with rowdy roommates, she is someone who “collects friends,” as her mother puts it; and treasures a life of expanding circles...and waistlines.
When both appear as panelists on a popular talk show, their lives intersect in ways neither could have imagined. In turns comedic, heartwarming--and familiar to any woman who's ever stepped on a scale--Alexis and Shoshana realize they have far more in common than either could have possibly imagined, and more importantly, something to offer.
The Brawl
Come back tomorrow.....to hear all about a little altercation that I got into last week.
When I called to place an order for delivery at 5:26pm, I did not expect you to make me wait 4 minutes and call back at 5:30pm because you don't deliver until after that. I'm pretty sure it took me 4 minutes to order my food. You are damn lucky that your food is fabulous.
Curriedly Yours,
Addicted to Korma
Dear Woman at Gymnastics,
Did you seriously kick your 3 year old out of the car three blocks from home and make her walk because she was being *snotty*? That sounds more like child abuse than this Love and Logic you mentioned. Also, I can't make 20 peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for the freezer for my hungry daughter. She doesn't like peanut butter. She has a high metabolism, needs snacks in between meals and I wouldn't dream of denying her food.
P.S. Do you think perhaps you are over-scheduling your kids? Tumbling, Swimming, Dance AND Rock Climbing? Maybe that's why your daughter is snotty...she's tired!
Yours Truly,
Mother of the freakin Year
Dear Maintenance Man,
Slow the heck down! I could have killed you today in your little golf cart! Did you notice that it's snowing?
Yours Truly,
Driver of the Silver Bullet
Dear Washer and Dryer in storage,
I miss you so much. I really missed you this week when Alex got sick and projectile vomited all over every blanket in the apartment. I hope that we will be reunited sooner rather than later.
Love Always,
Connie
Dear Gluten,
What the heck? Why don't you like me? I love you and you keep rejecting me. I think we have to break up because I don't like sitting in the bathroom all day.
I supposed acts of terrorism are going to be a part of my children's lives until the day they die....or Jesus comes. Rumor is....the world is ending on May 21st. I don't know if it's going to be by rapture or the earth blowing up. Either way...I'm ready.
Yesterday someone decided to place some pipe bombs in a mall that I go to frequently with my family. They put several propane tanks and a pipe bomb in a hallway next to the food court and it started a fire. Luckily....he's a shitty terrorist and it only started a fire and it didn't blow...as he intended.
I was in this food court having lunch with my children less than a week ago.
I'm pissed because this person decided to commit this act of terrorism on my son's 5th birthday. It's also the 12th anniversary of the Columbine High School tragedy, which is very close to this mall. Is it a coincidence that he picked this day and this mall? Time will tell.
Had this happened while I was in the food court with my children....they would have been traumatized. The mall was evacuated and everyone was bussed from the property. They had to leave their cars until the entire place could be searched.
Schools in the immediate area were put on lock down. I feel for those kids too. They must have been scared and I bet their parents were sick with worry.
I really hope they find this jackhole! I'd like an opportunity to tell him to his face what a low life loser I think he is and that he doesn't have my permission to f**k with my dreams and ruin people's lives. I dreamed these kids and my family! If they were taken from me....I don't know what I'd do.
There is going to be a press conference at 11:30am MST about the bomber. This will be right in the middle of Y&R which I'm sure will be interrupted. Yet another reason to be pissed at this guy!
Last week...I thought I saw *something* scurry across the floor and under my desk in our family room. I screamed, jumped into my chair and called my husband on my iPhone. He wasn't happy to be woken up at 5am to come downstairs and investigate.
We found nothing....
The next day, hubby was working late in his office and he heard noises. Like the thump of a dogs tail. We don't have a dog.....
The next morning was chilly and the heat kicked on and a couple pieces of insulation with wood chips in it came up through the kitchen vent. I freaked out a little because I had just started reading My Fair Lazy and Jen had a RAT in her house! I tucked my pants into my socks.....
That night at dinner, Calvin told me that he had heard noises and I told him about the insulation so I made him call Justin our pest guy. Justin told Calvin about an animal super highway and that sometimes they aren't living in your house they are just passing through.
I'm now picturing a maze of roads running under my house...filled with little varmints. Two things....1.) not a good idea to tell your terrified wife what the pest guy says and 2.) ARE YOU FREAKING SERIOUS?
I die!
Over the weekend...I found a small amount of stuffing by the stairs that go to the basement. I showed it to Calvin and he said it was from a stuffed animal and I said I was suspicious that it is from our little *friend*. On Sunday night, I saw a small amount more on the couch where I spent the entire day in my PJs because it was my day.
Yesterday, the kids were building an ark playing nicely in Alex room so I plopped down on the couch to watch Army Wives and when I did a cloud of stuffing flew high into the air. It was like a scene from a movie! I jumped up and thought what the heck is all of this from...and I slowly removed the couch cushion.
OH MY HELL!
I immediately called Calvin and told him what I'd found and that it was LIVING IN MY COUCH!! I also told him that he needed to come home and take this couch out of my house. He didn't not find that this was an emergency so I gathered up the children, my iPad, iPhone, a cooler full of snacks and I sought out the sanctuary of my bedroom.
The Panic Room!
We stayed in the Panic Room for 5 hours until Calvin decided to come home and remove the couch (and creature) from the house. I watched as he pushed it into the garage and nothing came out...except for Vivienne's Christmas Card.
I rearranged the furniture and tried to get comfortable in a new spot (since my old spot is now in the garage) and felt a little like Sheldon from The Big Bang Theory. And that's when it happened. The mouse ran across the family room from the love seat I was sitting on...to the entertainment center!
I jumped up on the back of the couch and screamed! WHAT THE HELL! Calvin went to the basement to retrieve the trap that Justin had left and placed it near the furniture. We spent the next two hours speculating what it was doing and where it was building it's nest.
Calvin thinks it's pregnant.
This morning...I'm reluctantly sitting at my desk in the family room and resisting the urge to retreat to The Panic Room. Calvin tells me that mice are nocturnal and won't be wandering the house during the day light.
I've named the mouse....Victoria. (twilight reference there in case you didn't catch it)
Also...in the not at all helpful category...Calvin told me a story about Kangaroo Mice and one that ran up his sleeping bag and he demonstrated ON ME with his hand. Try to sleep after that....
If you need me...I'll be in the Panic Room with my iPad and my stack of magazines. And some Sprite. And that's all I need. Well, maybe some jello.
This is also were I will be while I recuperate from my wisdom teeth being removed.
I know that there is a need for help regarding Health Care in this country....but does Speaker Pelosi take us for a bunch of idiots? Would you buy a car without driving it or sign a contract without reading it?
I'm telling you...I've about had all of the government I can take right now. From my husband's job potentially disappearing to our credit card rates doubling overnight because we've been good customers. I can't take much more.
I went to my bank account this morning. I've been putting it off because I didn't really want to see how much money I spent in Vegas but I've been home for a couple weeks now so...it was time to face the music.
I looked over my charges and saw a VISA purchase for $32 during that weekend that I couldn't recall and all the description gave was a phone number. My first thought was OMG...did I buy a dirty movie? Or did I accidentally touch something in the minibar? Did I get a TATTOO? I ran to the bathroom and check myself in the mirror before calling the number and after going through all of these directions so the automated computer system could figure out who I was....I found out I'd been charged for a RENEWAL for Better Homes and Gardens Magazine. I didn't authorize the charge and I sure as hell didn't want to pay $32 for it. On their website right now...you can get ONE YEAR for $11. Basically...for being a subscriber since 2007....they want to STEAL $21 from me. No thank you. I want my money back and now....I will never read your stupid magazine again.
Upon further inspection....I discovered ANOTHER charge to my account in early October for $37.34. This time the people trying to steal my money didn't sneak around they had their name right on the charge. Food & Wine magazine is available for subscription on their website right now for $12 for a year. And in their defense....it does say that they will AUTOMATICALLY renew your subscription but for $19.99. So Food & Wine was trying to STEAL $17.34 from me. No thank you. I want my money back and now....I will never read YOUR magazine again.
Let this be a warning to you! DO NOT sign up for magazines ONLINE. DO NOT give a magazine your credit card number. Pay by check only!
I'm appalled that magazines are doing this. I love magazines and I subscribe to A LOT of them. I think it's time for me to cancel all of my subscriptions and buy a NOOK and read my magazines there.
I am so freakin mad right now that I need a drink and some awesome Cake in a Cup!
*******
In other news....I'm switching to bottled water because my kids turned into Vampires last night and wanted to bite my neck. I have NO IDEA where they came up with this....I'm not a TWILIGHT-AHOLIC. There is obviously something in the UTAH water.....
I decided to vlog today...since I had make up on. And I had some stuff to talk about and I will be posting my Connie's Diary entry on Friday so here we are with Wacky Wednesday!
I posted about my skin cancer situation on Facebook today when I got home and found out from several people that when they had their surgeries...the tissue was examined during the surgery to make sure they got everything....instead of sending the tissue off to be checked. I wish I had know about this type of surgery before I chose this doctor.
In other news...The Ares 1-X launched from Kennedy Space Center this morning and I missed it by 30 seconds. I walked in the door right after it happened. Luckily, Calvin taped it for me. I was glued to twitter the last two days watching the hashtag #ARES1-X and I was disheartened by so many people that wanted the rocket to fail. I would like to dedicate this song to those people.
This morning, we have become victims of Voter Fraud! Calvin went to vote and discovered that we are not on 'the list'. For the life of me, I couldn't figure out why because we registered to vote when we got our Driver's Licenses on October 2nd.
I called the Weber County Clerk's office and found out that when we marked the box that asked if we wanted to register to vote, the employee that helped us should have printed out something for us to sign, which would have been forwarded to the County Clerk. The woman I talked to said it is an ongoing problem with the Ogden Driver's License Division.
I called the Lt Governor's office and reported the problem. I emailed KSL 5, ABC4 & the Standard Examiner. I called CNN's hot line for voting problems and left a message.
Then I called Dave. Dave is the man in charge at the Ogden Driver's License Division. I told him what happened and explained how serious this is. He asked me what the person that helped us looked like. I told him that the situation is more serious than that. Because Calvin and I went to get our licenses 3 hours apart because we have small children. We were helped by TWO different people Dave. AT LEAST two different people in your office are not doing their job and NOT registering people to vote when they get their license. This is a serious problem!
Dave tried to blame the County Clerk. Seriously Dave? The County Clerk is responsible for YOUR employee not printing out a form for me to sign. And do you know what Dave said to that? He said...I said I was Sorry. Did you Dave? Are you sorry Dave? He said he tells them all the time to make sure to print those forms out. Dave. I think you need to do more than TALK to them. Do they understand english? Maybe someone should be fired Dave.
I told Dave that I would be calling him every two weeks for the rest of my life to make sure that he is staying on top of this. I also told him I was going to get a baby sitter and come in and test his employees once and a while. Dave told me to...Bring It On! Oh Dave, it's already been brought!
Let this be a lesson to all of you. This isn't just happening in Utah, it is happening everywhere! Don't bother registering when you get or renew your driver's license. Go directly to your County Clerk office. This is the only way to ensure that you're truly registered. Don't fall victim to Dave and his crappy management style.
You may be wondering why I am getting so worked up over this. Well, I take my right to VOTE very seriously, but more than that it is when something happens to me that I think is dead wrong and could happen to someone else....I have to speak up. I am not and have never been one of those people that just says, oh bother. I am a Tigger...not an Eeyore!
And so this concludes my attempts to like living in Utah. I have really been trying hard to like it here, but Utah isn't cooperating with me at all. It keeps giving me reasons to hate it. And since it looks like I won't be escaping this hell hole anytime soon...I am forming a new club.
The I Hate Utah Club.
Edited: To Add Dave's phone number....at Rachel's request!
