Show Me The Money!

See these kids?

New Winter Coats

They want some cash.

Mallory....will do anything for money, is a good saver and knows what a quarter, dime, nickel and penny are.

Alex....doesn't like to work for money, loses it before he can save it and can't correctly identify a coin.  He also thinks that Obama is on the one dollar bill.

We recently decided that it's time for the kids to start learning about money, saving, budgeting and the government.  We want to raise them to be good little Republicans so we don't have to watch them holding signs on TV someday.

We've come up with a list of chores for them to do and they will be paid at the end of each month.  They will receive a paycheck with an explanation of the taxes that we took out and then we'll take them to the bank to cash it.  They will be required to save a portion of each check.

Side note: on April 15th we'll gather the taxes we've collected and let them watch as we flush the money down the toilet.

A few days ago, Mallory ended up with $2 and it was burning a whole in her pocket!  She needed to spend that money so I took her to JoAnn's craft store to see if she could find something.  I also gave her a 40% off coupon.

She bought a wooden birdhouse and 6 little pots of paint.

Mallory did the entire transaction all by herself and she was thrilled that she got .27 cents back!  But then she was mad at Daniel (the cashier) because her receipt says that she saved .40 cents.  I explained that she had to pay .13 cents in taxes on her purchases.  Now she's pissed at the State of Colorado!

And now she wants MORE DOLLARS!!

Mormons Have Taken Over

Best Buy!

For those of you that don't know. Mormon Missionaries generally wear black pants, white short sleeved shirts and black ties. Like this.

Chris Gorham playing a Missionary in The Other Side of Heaven

I had a strong desire to drink coffee after leaving Best Buy.

Friday Daydreamin: Fall Colors

I'm daydreaming today about seeing the fall colors last weekend!  Aspens turning are one of the most beautiful things I've ever seen!

This picture was taken from our room at The Ameristar Resort and Casino.  I wish I was there right now, enjoying a spa treatment or sitting on the 32nd floor patio with a drink in my hand!

Instead....I'm freezing my badonkadonk off and my daughter is throwing a fit while her cereal gets soggy.

Ameristar.....take me away!

Are you day dreaming about a trip you've taken? Link it up with Becca at R We There Yet Mom!

Book Review: How to be an American Housewife

When I visit Target, and my kids are looking at the toys that I’m not going to buy for them...I like to sneak across the isle and look at the books.  I picked up How to be an American Housewife by Margaret Dilloway a few weeks ago and it sounded like my kind of book.  Then my kids started fighting and I walked away without it.

I was thrilled when I saw that BlogHer Book Club had the book to review!  It was destiny!

This is the story of Shoko, a beautiful Japanese woman who escapes scandal and hopes for a better life by marrying an American GI, making a life in the United States by consulting a book called How to be an American Housewife.

We learn all about her new life in America and the family she created.  Her life doesn’t quite turn out the way she thought it would and becoming an American is difficult.

After coming to terms with her failing health, she asks her daughter Sue to return to Japan and help her fix the relationship with her brother who disowned her for marrying the enemy.

Sue makes the trip with her teenage daughter and is able to better understand her Mother by seeing where she came from.   Secrets are revealed and broken hearts are mended.

I really enjoyed this book because I could relate to Shoko’s desire to be a good housewife for her husband.  I went through something similar when I married iKeith.  I was encouraged by the improvement of Shoko and Sue’s relationship when Sue learned more about her Mother’s background.  I’m also a sucker for a happy ending!




I was compensated for this BlogHer Book Club review but all opinions expressed are my own.

Wordless Wednesday: Big Balls

Adventures With Robert: The Gift Shop

My Happy List

I'm having a really great week and thought it was time to list the happy!

Volunteering at my son's school.

I worked the PTA Welcome Desk for two hours yesterday, which I think now qualifies me to be a WalMart Greeter! And I stuffed the folders in my son's class which turned out to be the most stressful thing I've done in months! There was so much paper that needed to go home yesterday and sitting in a child's chair for 30 minutes made my legs numb.  Keith was also the crossing guard yesterday. We are volunteering fools!

FREE Starbucks.

I went through the drive thru after Malloy's tumbling class on Wednesday and the computers were down.  I got my Venti Iced Coffee for FREE.  Gosh I love that place!

I made a new friend.

We're in our third week of tumbling and Mallory is loving it.  There's another little girl in her class that she hadn't warmed up to yet, so I suggested to her that we try to make some new friends this week.  I sat next to Nia's mom and it turns out that we have TONS in common.

I had dinner with my parents.

As some of you know....I'm estranged from my family.  My parents came to town and asked to see us and apologized to me.  I think we can move forward now.  I'm so happy and the kids are over the moon to see their Grandparents again.

Vacation.

We're going on another short weekend trip and this time there is a train involved!  I can't wait to see the look on my kids' faces when they see where we're going!!

Rocky Mountain Carmel Corn

GLUTEN FREE

The Best Cabernet for $10

Toro De Piedra Cabernet Sauvignon!  Full bodied and a little spicy!  I love it!

Great Friends

I have the best friends that are kind and thoughtful!   I love you guys!

Have a great weekend!

Confession: I'm Terrified...

of my son's Kindergarten teacher!

She is a nice looking gal.  I'm sure I'm old enough to be her mother older sister and that she is a very nice person.  She wears very conservative dresses and little sweaters that make her look....caring.  She wears her long hair up in a bun.

As you recall, I followed the supply list scavenger hunt to a tee because I didn't want to disappoint her and be THAT Mom that can't follow directions.  I wanted to impress her and show her that she can trust me.

I signed up to volunteer in the classroom to stuff the folders that come home on Thursdays.  Tomorrow is my assigned volunteer day.  And because I also want to impress the PTA president....I'm volunteering at the Welcome Desk for two hours tomorrow too.

Today I was standing in a group of Mom's and I was being told about something that happened to my son in the library that day that was upsetting*....when The Teacher opened the door and called my name.  I felt my face flare bright read as I hurried to the door, being careful to disguise my Venti Iced Coffee behind my back because I'm sure beverages are not permitted in the classroom.


I thought I was in trouble.

Turns out....she just wanted to show me where the supplies and folders were located so that I could do my job tomorrow....because she will be gone and a sub will be there in her place.

Now...I'm irritated because she won't get to see how well I do my job, or my cute outfit that I picked out just for this occasion.

*if you want to know what happened in the library....email me.

A New Me

I've had the same profile picture on blogger and twitter for over two years.

I think it's time for a new picture.....don't you?

What do you think of this one?

I took this today....after I colored my own hair with hair color that rhymes with Chevron that I will never buy again because I smell like an old woman.  I was going to disguise the smell with some of iKeith's cologne but I was afraid it would smell like I was having an affair with an old man.

The time to pick up Alex from school was fast approaching and I complained to twitter.

Kate suggested that I wear a hat doused in Febreeze.   But I was having a really good hair day.

Jessica Bern thought that I should go to school pick up with dog crap on my shoe so as to distract from my smelly hair.  She suggested this would make me seem *normal*.  I suggested that me walking around look for dog crap to step in would make me very UN-normal.

No one noticed my smelly head and instead...someone complimented my finger nails.

Why can't I take a compliment?  Why can't I just say THANK YOU....instead of, oh yeah thanks...they break all the time and are all different lengths.  

There is no where to go from there!

Friday Daydreamin' : White Water Rafting

Linking up with Becca from R We There Yet Mom for Friday Daydreamin'!

In 2002, I lost a bunch of weight and decided that I was going to be athletic.  When my friends talked about going White Water Rafting in the mountains of Colorado....I said Heck Yeah!

Who can go wrong with a place called Good Times Rafting? 

My friends on this trip were my very hot friend Sean (seated in front of me) and my two best friends. 

We stayed a couple nights in Winter Park and I might have danced on a bar and sang Rocky Mountain High.


The rafting part of this adventure was really fun and exciting but the best part was when we got to a section of the river where we pulled over, hiked up the hill and jumped 30 feet into the river.


YES!  I did this!  I had just gone through a bad divorce and I imagined that I was leaving my old life at the top of that cliff and jumping into my new life where all of my dreams were going to come true.


And they did.  A year later....I met iKeith.

Smiley face to protect former best friend who became my boss and had me fired when I was 6 weeks pregnant with Alex because she was jealous of me.

Speechless Wednesday

Robert*....frenchkissing a deer outside of Las Vegas.  

This probably should have stayed in Vegas.....

*if you're new here...you need to know that Robert is my brother husband brother in law.

Bangs

I can't afford BOTOX.....so I cut my bangs. 

This should also be filed under....words you shouldn't search for on pinterest when you have your period.

The good news is that when iKeith walked in the door and saw me for the first time....he noticed and said that I looked younger.  Too bad he couldn't get lucky last night.

Are you as excited as I am for this week?  MY SHOWS ARE BACK! But All My Children is ending.  I'm thinking of watching the last week just to see how it ends.  Quick someone tell me who are the characters are besides Erica Cane.   My friend Becca went to NYC over the weekend on a #AMCFarewellTrip.  I loved following her tweets and she thought about me when she went to Starbucks!  Can't wait to hear all about it.

Happy Monday!

Happy Birthday iKeith

Becca made me feel badly....for not honoring the father of my children today on his birthday.

I think I brag about iKeith pretty frequently here....although I don't talk about him much because he gets embarrassed when his co-workers read my blog and tease him.

I wish I'd know him when he went to West Point.  This uniform gets me all kinds of excited!  It still hangs in his closet....I wish he'd wear it for me.

iKeith has been a Mac Man since the beginning.  Here he is at West Point with his first Apple computer. Sadly, he never celebrated his birthday those four years because when your fellow cadets discovered it was your birthday they would torment and prank you.  We're talking striping you naked and painting your bottom with shoe polish!

iKeith loves to fish.

He's also a party animal.....but you wouldn't know it by looking at him. 

He looks really good in a suit.

And even though he doesn't like Halloween and dressing up.  He's a good sport about it when we insist.

He's a great husband and an awesome father!  I'm so lucky to have him in my life!! 

I love you iKeith!  

Happy Birthday!


Double Encore got iKeith a cake for his birthday! I may have supplied the picture.  Godzilla was not in the picture when I sent it over!  HA!

Scenes From a Good Birthday

Birthday Margarita

Me...and my *baby*

Italian Men...in Tights

Schweddy Balls

Roses from my honey

Lesson learned:

1.) It is unwise to drink more than one beverage that ends in a vowel. Margarita, Sangria, Chianti
2.) It is unwise to eat refried beans two days in a row when you haven't eaten beans in 8 weeks.
3.) A box fan should never be used in a bedroom where your wife has eaten beans after not eating them for 8 weeks.

I Don't Want To Remember

I don't want to remember where I was 10 years ago.

I don't want to remember that my birthday was ruined and that I ate take out chinese in front of the TV.

I don't want to remember that everytime I tell someone when I was born...they say, 'I'm Sorry.'

I don't want to remember the lengths I went to the following year to avoid the reminders.  I went to Northern Minnesota to a remote cabin for my birthday so that I wouldn't be surrounded by TV or Radio.  I grilled a steak and drank a bottle of Merlot.  And I ran all over the itty bitty town looking for someone to uncork my wine for me.

I just want my birthday back and to be able to celebrate it without being pissed off at some long dead terrorists and now dead Osama Bin Ladin. 

Today, I'm celebrating with my family and avoiding the TV and radio.  I threw my newspaper in the recycling bin without reading it and later I'll grill a steak and drink a bottle of Merlot.

Happy Birthday to ME!

Friday Daydreamin': New York

This Friday....I'm dreaming about one of my favorite places on earth. 

NEW YORK

When I met iKeith and we started to get serious we talked about his West Point Reunion.  Before I knew it that time was upon us and I happened to be 11 weeks pregnant with Alex.  Luckily, my morning sickness ended right before the trip and I got to buy a bunch of new clothes and shoes because my Colorado outfits were not good enough for New York!

I'm sharing more than one picture today because there was no way to just pick one.  I loved every minute of our trip even though it rained almost the entire time.

I got to see Keith's dorm room, where he studied, where he ate and where he walked in a square when he got in trouble.

So much history in one place and the stone buildings are breathtaking! It kind of reminds me of Hogworts!

Then we spent two days in THE CITY.  We walked and ate and walked and had the most amazing cup of coffee from a little place in Grand Central Station and I saw Mama Mia.

I loved Central Park and wanted to spend the entire day there.

Do you have a favorite vacation picture? Link up with Becca at R We There Yet Mom and tell us all about it!

That One Time...I Was In a Bar Fight

Thank you Mama Kat for today's topic. 

1.) Write about a time you shoved someone

Once upon a time when I was 24 and newly divorced, I met this guy in a bar.  This song played (in my head) when I saw him across the crowded bar and I knew he would be mine!

We started seeing each other and hung out a lot at our favorite bar called The Gambler. 

He told me about a long distance girlfriend named Melissa and that he'd been trying to break up with her for a year but she wouldn't have it.

And then he told me that he broke up with her and he was free to be with me.

He lied.

Fast forward a few weeks and I'm drinking an ice cold Coors Light at The Gambler when this giant goth looking girl walks up to me and asks if I'm Connie.  I'm thinking she wants to know where I got my beautiful blonde hair permed but no....

It's Melissa.

I say yes and she shoves me.  I shove her back and in a flash OUR boyfriend is between us and he and a couple security guards drag her stupid ass out of the bar.  As she's exiting the building I hear her yell...

I knew you'd find a petite girl!

Me? Petite? I'm freakin 5'8" and not very thin! 

And then I couldn't be mad at her and felt bad for having her banned from the bar because  she thought I was petite.

I miss Melissa.

Bless Your Heart

All The Suckers I Can Eat

Now that Alex is away from home in the mornings....Mallory and I have more time to run errands and get coffee.

We have some great talks in the car and she sometime's makes me laugh until I have tears streaming down my face.

Today, we needed to go to the bank and she was very excited at the prospect of getting a sucker.  This led to a discussion about what she wants to be when she grows up.

At first she told me that she wants to work in a bank.  I had to laugh because I could see in her mind she was eating unlimited amounts of suckers.

I explained to her that when she is an adult....and has a job, she can buy as many suckers as she wants.  I heard a gasp from the backseat and she asked me if I was serious.  I assured her that I was.

I asked her if this changed what she wanted to do for work when she grows up and she said yes....she'd like to be a black girl.

I glanced up in my rear view mirror and I said, 'Really?  A black girl?' and she said, 'NO MOM!  A Blogger!'

I think I need to get my hearing checked.

In other news....at the *Kindergarten Lunch with Mom's* which I've dubbed Lunch and Learn...I was mistaken for the hot Danish Swedish Nanny that is employed by one of the classmate's parents.  I have to tell you...with only 6 days until my 41st birthday it was better than being carded for booze!

It's All Fun and Games Til Mommy Wins At Golf

Hey All!

I had a great weekend! We ran up to Blackhawk with Robert after the guys got off from work Friday night and spent some quality time at the roof top pool!

Keith and I celebrated our birthday's over the weekend and stayed in another beautiful hotel suite courtesy of Robert and his gambling problem! 

Brother Husband & Husband

Yesterday, we did a little letterboxing at a beautiful park and then went to Dick's and used my Klout Perks to purchase putters for the kids.  They were so excited to use them so we took them to Agua Golf in Denver. 

Our kids have some serious talent and Alex got a hole in one on the 17th hole! I might have to get my own clubs because I ended up #winning!  Uncle Robert is really thrilled that they have interest in golf and now we have a fun thing that they can do with him since they aren't old enough to gamble yet. 

balls

What did you do this weekend?