The Bachelor Brad: Shut Up and Kiss Me

Each week we start off with the girls all sitting in the living room of the bachelorette house and Chris Harrison explaining what's going to happen that week.  Most of them don't have make up on and look like heck.  This week...Michelle is sporting a black eye and says she doesn't know how she got it.  We will learn later that even Michelle doesn't like Michelle and she kicked her own ass in her sleep.

The first one on one date of the week goes to Chantal O.  Brad shows up and so does a helicopter.  Chantal is wearing a threadbare blue t-shirt and jeans.  She didn't bring a purse or anything. Where is her lipstick? Later when they arrive on Catalina Island a leather jacket materializes out of nowhere.

Chantal thinks everything is amazing and Brad says he's been waiting to take her on a date for so long. What...like 3 weeks?  They put on wet suits and helmets (so as not to disturb Chantal's eye make up) and walk on the sea floor.  Later...they have dinner on the beach and Chantal says that she's scared because she was married before and really wants to be married again. They really like each other.

Back at the house, Michelle is moaning and groaning about not getting the one on one date and how she doesn't understand how this show works because everyone keeps going out with her boyfriend.  She also doesn't think Chantal is Brad's type.

Chantal apologizes to Brad for slapping him when she came out of the limo that first night and he tells her he likes feisty ladies and he feels comfortable with her.  She gets the rose.  Then he tells her to stop talking and kiss him!

Group Date!

A hummer limo picks up the ladies and takes them to the radio show Love Line.  Brad wants to provide a safe place for the girls to open up and share their feelings.  So...the get liquored up with cocktails (Ashley H drinks beer) and they talk with Mike and Dr Drew.  Stacey admits that she's cheated before and everyone gives her the evil eye. Britt tells Brad that she's nervous all the time because she only gets 10-15 minutes with him at a time.

Back at the house, Michelle is crying and complaining about how she doesn't understand how the bachelor show works.  Emily was in the wrong place at the wrong time and gets stuck talking to her. The date card finally arrives and it's for the long suffering Michelle.  It says...Let's Hang Out Together and Chantal points out that her card doesn't say anything about LOVE and all of the other one's have.  Michelle freaks out!

Brad brings the girls to an after party at his house and Ashley H gets irritated right away because the girls what to talk to Brad. Does she not understand why everyone is sitting in this hot tub? Everyone is interrupting each other's time and Ashley H is about to freak out!  She stalks Brad while he's making out with Britt and he then tries to make her feel better but she says that she's retracting and drops a couple F bombs.

Brad goes to give Ashley H the rose so that she'll feel more secure but she makes some negative comments and unfortunate ugly faces and he gives the rose to Britt instead.  YAY!

Hanging Out....

Michelle is really excited about her date and thinks that because it's her day...everyone should stop talking about her boyfriend Brad. When Brad arrives he pulls Ashley H aside which sends Michelle into a rage. Brad tells Ashley H that they had a great first date and that he doesn't want to lose what they had.  She says that she pushes people away and it looks like she desperately needs a manicure.

Chantal confronts Michelle and says this is the same has when she walked out of the commercial shoot and there a hissy fit.  Michelle says that it's not at all the same because she was having a moral issue.  Michelle has morals?

Brad takes Michelle to his house and they are hanging out together drinking mimosa's when they see a helicopter and it lands to pick them up.  It flies them to Downtown LA and of course, Michelle is freaking out.  She's afraid of heights and we discover that ABC expects her to repel off from the very tall building to a pool below.

After much complaining....she does it and they kiss midway down.  GAG.  When they reach the bottom...they dive into the pool with their clothes on because they both crapped their pants and their embarrassed.

Brad calls Michelle a mature woman (seriously?)and says that he wants to meet her daughter. He gives her the rose.

Weekly Therapy

Brad tells his therapist that he feels more present and he normally takes things really slowly but  he has to keep kissing everyone and having these deep conversations in short amounts of time.

Cocktail Party

Shawntel is wearing a beautiful green dress and she feels secure.  Brad likes this about her.  He tells Megan that he likes that she doesn't have to draw attention to herself.

Brad asks Emily to come with him and says he has a gift for her.  He pulls out a basket with pillows, blanket, wine and glasses and leads her outside.  He tries to recreate their date together and tells her that he's been thinking about her.

Inside...everyone is freaking out because he did this special thing for Emily which must mean he likes her best.  Chantal is crying and having a melt down. The girls that haven't even had a one on one date are feeling hurt that he's spending time with her when he already had a date with Emily.

*NEW DRINKING WORD* Suck

Chantal pulls Brad aside and tells him that she wants him to make her feel comfortable.  He tells her that he likes that she's independent and not needy. Chantal asks the producers to please delete the last 15 minutes of tape.

Rose Ceremony

3 ladies go home.

Lindsay....she didn't really get much time with Brad.

Meghan...bet you're wishing you'd drawn some attention to yourself now.  That dress...horrid! And if you can't walk in heels...you shouldn't wear them.  just sayin.

Stacey...who was this?  Her skirt is dangerously short.

Next Week:

Vegas Baby
Shopping Spree
Race Track...Mental Breakdown
OMG!

Deleted Scene! It sounds like she's saying...I woke up with a black guy.