The story has been told to me that when I was 2 years old they took me trick or treating for the first time and I was so excited! They told me that I'd wear a costume and I'd go door to door and people would give me candy! What's not to love about that? Then...they put my PRINCESS costume, complete with a plastic mask with the elastic string on me. The story goes that I ran to the full length mirror in my parents bedroom and SCREAMED bloody murder when someone else's face was looking back at me.
Here's where this story now goes terribly wrong. I went to the photo album of my baby pictures and I found a photo of my first Halloween and I was shocked to discover that I was not a PRINCESS....I was a scary freakin witch!
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| Scary Connie...age 2 |
Who the hell dresses their 2 year old as a scary freakin witch?
Through the years....I remember dreading Halloween because I never had a good costume. I was always so jealous of the kids whose Mom's made them something to wear...heck, I didn't even have a decent way to carry my candy! We used pillow cases!
As an adult, I tried a little harder for Halloween. One year, my friends and I were going to a party as the cast of Alice. I was going to be Flo. I practiced snapping my gum, saying Kiss My Grits and dyed my hair RED. A huge blizzard arrived on Halloween day and we couldn't go to the party....and I now had red hair.
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The next year, I didn't feel like trying so hard so I decided to go to a bar as Trailer Trash. I wore my husband's plaid shirt, teased my spiral perm and bangs up real high, carried a cold Coors Light in my hand and put a sign around my neck that said my name was Becky and that I lived in a trailer park. I won 2nd place in the costume contest......
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Loved this! When I was a kid, my mom dressed me as a candle--cardboard from head to knees. She added a rope at the top (a wick!). Guess what! Older kids tried to light it! I fell down and broke a leg! Smart costuming, that.
ReplyDeleteOh my gosh! A candle! That's so sad and sucky that you broke your leg.
ReplyDeleteLOL! I'm sorry, Connie, but that photo of you at 2 just made me chuckle so hard! I can understand why you would've screamed when you looked in the mirror!
ReplyDeleteWe always had terrible store-bought costumes too. And, we wore the same ones every year until we were splitting out of them. I still remember my brother's highwater Spiderman costume that then got handed down to my little brother.
I'm not much better - I don't sew. But, I do my best to make sure my little pumpkin looks as cute as can be!
I'm glad you could get a chuckle out of Scary Connie. Don't you just want to give her a big hug?
ReplyDeleteWith God as my witness...my kids will always look awesome on Halloween!
The princess/witch story and photo are hysterical. Halloween is one of my least favorite holidays.
ReplyDeleteHilary Lane's comment about the candle costume made me laugh, too. Is there a website for "Bad Halloween Costumes"? Kind of like "Awkward Family Photos". Would be funny...
Hey, I loved the pillow cases for the treat bags....they carried more loot! I told my kids how we used to use pillow cases and now they want to give it a try.
ReplyDeleteMy costumes over the years had their ups and downs but my kids have looked FANTASTIC each and every year. That is the best part of being a mom...you get to do everything the way you wanted to as a kid!
I had to have had some bad costume moments but I only really remember going as Raggedy Ann...I have no idea what my costumes were after that lol
ReplyDeleteOh my gosh, I think that would terrify many 2 year olds!
ReplyDeleteI am laughing at the thought of you scaring all the other 2 year olds!
ReplyDeleteMy mother always made our costumes. Sounds cute, but it wasn't always and it meant we didn't get to choose. She would dress all three of us alike. Truly - no 9 year old girl WANTS to dress like a clown. So not cool.
I don't blame you for hating Halloween....that picture is priceless! I too dressed as trailer trash one year at the bar, complete with baby bump and beer in hand ;)
ReplyDeleteAs a kid I think the worst Halloween I had was when I was a crappy scarecrow (it was too cold for my french maid costume). I was 13 and the group that I was trick or treating with decided we should write a rap for trick or treating. once the other neighborhood kids found out about our rap we were the targets of eggs and so much more. Then one crazy lady danced along to our rap and actually gave us dog bones as treats!
I hope you enjoy this year, I will be at home with my sick baby girl :(
Oh, that costume is TERRIBLE!! What were your parents thinking??? The story about your sister at the Halloween party is just too funny.
ReplyDeleteI had a scary ass costume too!
ReplyDeleteYour post is hilarious but I can't get over that picture! LOL
Oh my, that mask...
ReplyDeleteI was a cat woman one Halloween, and my younger brother's best friend did not recognize me... he actually tried to err... pick me up... imagine his embarrassment when my possessive brother came back to my side with our drinks and asked him what is it exactly that he was doing... lol.
Good times.
can't believe your parents told you you were a princess :o/ and that's a funny story about your sister. i'm 'estranged' from my bro, but it's hardly likely we'll ever be in the same place. lol
ReplyDeleteOh I feel so bad for 2-year old you. That would scare any child!
ReplyDeleteI thought what you said to your sister was pretty amusing, even if she didn't. :)
Connie, I love the picture of you dressed up as the scary witch. I think you are cute! And Love that you were Sister Mary Connie LOL!
ReplyDeleteThat photo of you at two makes me want to scream and I'm 39. That is the scariest costume ever. Sheesh.
ReplyDeleteAnd that is hilarious about you and your sister. I would have laughed my butt off.
Thank you for sharing your Halloween history! I remember those awful masks from when we were kids. Yikes! That witch was awful! No wonder you were traumatized! It's amazing how far Halloween costumes have come since then! Such a bummer about your Flo costume being thwarted by the storm.
ReplyDeleteOh my gosh that is a scary costume! Do you have wings?!
ReplyDeleteWell you totally rocked Halloween this year!
I LOVE the revisionist historian parenting seminar our parents all go to. (When do we get invited?) It's hysterical that they remembered your costume being a princess one, but absolutely "call Social Services" terrible that they purchased that devil-spawn costume in the first place, and then that they let your innocent, trusting two year old self get the shock of her young life in that mirror. That mask is like something out of a
ReplyDeleteTwilight Zone that would have given me nightmares for weeks. And oh, man, did those white elastic strings hurt when they snapped back on your face. Not to mention the paper cuts from the mask's sharp edges, the suffocating sensation from trying to peer out the little almond-sized eyeholes or the indignity of wearing the polyester crap costume with the folds from the box still in it. Good times!
Why does the name of the girl from the Trailer Park have to be named "Becky"?????
ReplyDelete~Becca