Dr Google, Bambi and Date Night

As I sat in the waiting room of the Lab at the hospital waiting my turn to have 6 vials of blood drawn, a Mom and her teenage daughter walked in.  The daughter was dressed like a street walker...short skirt, 6 inch black heels and a bustier.  My first thought was....please God don't let Mallory ever want to dress like that.  But then my thoughts became deeper and I prayed that God would let me live to see Mallory dress like that.

Those are the kinds of thoughts that go through your mind when you're jonesing for coffee, starving and scared out of your mind because the four hours of allergy testing only showed an allergy for Kentucky Blue Grass that you didn't know you had.

I had a hunch that something bad was coming when I spent 46 minutes waiting for the doctor to return with my results.  Good news comes faster....

She tried to explain to me that I do not have a venom allergy and that my swollen lip is not caused by anything I'm eating, drinking, breathing or touching.  There is something inside my body causing it.

Something that, although rare....must have been triggered by the bee sting 8 months ago.  And that's why I had blood drawn for testing for systemic diseases.   This is also a good time to note that you should never google Systemic Diseases in a hospital waiting room.  This should only be done in the privacy of your own home....so that when you freak the f*ck out....you're with people that love you and not some little old lady that wants you to know that the plants in the waiting room are thriving because of the lights...much like marijuana plants that are grown in drug houses.  

venom testing....

There is also a very good chance that I found myself at Burger King ordering a Whopper and it was the most delicious thing I've ever eaten. 

The results to my tests...if the news is bad, will arrive in a week.  Otherwise, I will be going over the results with my doctor in three weeks.  Why do the doctors here always make me wait three weeks?

Over the weekend, I got tons of emails from friends that have gone through similar experiences and everything turned out fine.  I'm praying that I'm one of the lucky one's that just has some weird things going on and that it's....nothing.

Of course, to take my mind off from my troubles I went in search of the elusive Girl Scout Cookies known as The Thin Mint.  For the second year in a row...the Girl Scouts are boycotting hiding from me and refuse to come to my house and sell them to me.

Normally this isn't a problem because you can find them hanging out in front of your neighborhood super markets for 6 weeks every spring.

But not this spring.  For some reason, the Girl Scouts of No.rth Og.den are on strike.

Saturday...from the parking lot of my neighborhood grocery store I tweeted this:

Little did I know that two hours later I would be calling 911 to report that a deer had been hit by a car right in front of us.   It stood up and just ran into this poor old lady's car.   It was horrible.  It's back legs where hurt really badly and it drug itself into the ditch.

We stopped to make sure the lady was okay and she was really shaken up.  We told her we'd stay and call the police and she left the scene of an accident.   We waited for the police and sat watching the poor deer laying in the ditch.

The cop finally showed up and Calvin showed him where Bambi was and they talked about what he needed to do.  And then he pulled out his gun and SHOT BAMBI right in front of us.  Calvin's window was open and I screamed OH MY GOD HE'S GOING TO KILL IT!  I know he heard me....I was traumatized.

Luckily, Calvin had come around to the passenger side of the car and was distracting Mallory.

We drove off feeling upset...we rode in silence for a good 10 minutes when a little voice from the backseat said:

ARE WE THERE YET?

We laughed and our moods brightened a little bit.


And that's how our first date night with our 3 year old daughter started.  We're trying something new where we take the kids out individually for dinner so that we can focus on them.  We had a great time and Mallory felt like a princess.  So did Calvin when he got stuck holding her purse and her purple magic wand while he waited for us to come out of the restroom.