How I Survived My First School Field Trip

I'm so excited to tell you about how I survived my first school field trip!

Part of my story is a cautionary tale.  What I want to tell you and anyone that googles *can I bring coffee on a school field trip*  is that you should bring the coffee.  No one will take it away from you and I think you are actually encouraged to caffeinate yourself.  Lord knows those Kindergarten teachers had to be drinking something to get through this day!

I also earned myself some major brownie points because I went online and printed out a map of the exhibit which I told the teacher about and she made copies of for all of the other chaperones.  My tip for you is to write your name somewhere on your map so that everyone knows where it came from.  HELL...just print out enough maps for your child's class and hand them out.

The good news is that not only did I get the best looking group of kids to be responsible for on Friday, I also got the most well behaved and quiet group!

This allowed me to look down my nose at the other chaperones whose kids were wrestling, screaming and punching each other in the face.  I frequently told my kids how f**king awesome they were and that when we got back to school I was going to tell their parents to buy them a pony.

More good news....I only lost one kid and it was mine so technically... I didn't lose anyone.  Here's what happened.  We were having a good old time pretending to be astronauts with some weightless rocks and then over the loudspeaker someone announces a special show that will be starting in ONE MINUTE.  I asked my kids if they wanted to go and they said yes and MY KID took off into a crowd of 120 other kids that heard the same announcement.

I found him....obviously.

We had lunch and I decided that whoever put the giant soda machine full of bottled water in the lunch room should be shot.  I would have paid $50 for a soda at that point.

The end of our journey was to go to the planetarium and see a Sesame Street movie about the moon and stars. But first we had to sit in a line for 20 minutes that I dubbed #OccupyKindergartenHell.  MY kids were good.  Other people's kids....were horrible!  One of the chaperones kept asking me to watch her kids while she went to the bathroom.  What was I supposed to say?  

I kept having to tell these kids to sit up, be quiet, stop wrestling and WE AREN'T AT YOUR HOUSE STOP ACTING LIKE IDIOTS!  I asked Alex if I was allowed to put them on the naughty chair and he said he didn't think I was.

It all went really well and we had a great time!  AND I totally needed that bandaid!  On the bus ride home....one of my kids said that her arm was bleeding!  MRS WEISS TO THE RESCUE!  I had a shit load of bandaids in my bag.

I rocked this field trip!

I've also decided that anyone that has a problem with my son's teacher should have to teach the class for a day and THEN come talk to me.