How Have I Changed?

5.) Find a photo of yourself from 10 years ago and display it on your blog along with a current photo. How have you changed since the day this photo was taken?

This girl....is so strong!  She survived a troubled past and started a brand new amazing life in the big city. She has her own apartment and runs (kind of) several times a week on a beautiful trail in Littleton Colorado.  She enjoys having salads for dinner and a glass of wine in front of the TV.  She has a few friends that she goes out with, her best friend is a bitch and she loves the Denver Broncos. She drinks beer. 

Her job is going well and she enjoys the company of several men that she's met on dating websites.  She has just met the father of her children and she called him the day this picture was taken to see if she could stop by his little shit-hole of an apartment but he was busy watching Deep Space Nine or something like that.

She really wants to have children someday and is pretty confident that it's going to happen because she made a list.  She believes in karma and telling the universe what you want, what you really really want. Her biological clock is ticking.

This girl dreams big and is passionate!  You'd better not stand in her way or you'll get knocked down.  She thinks her luck is about to change.

This girl is.....a woman now.  She's married to the man that argues with her constantly love of her life and she has two beautiful children.  As she sits in her tiny apartment, surrounded by legos....she misses her old house with the stairs and the yard.  Then she realizes that she doesn't have to spend hours cleaning and can watch the Real Housewives instead. She is always on a diet and drinks wine at night, in front of the TV while her husband is engrossed in his iPad.  She has great friends and belongs to the PTA.  She's in a book club.

She loves to travel, read and knit.  She volunteers at school like it's her job and enjoys spending time with her family.  They are huge Bronco Fans and her husband has season tickets.  On the few date nights with her husband she loves dressing up and going to the theatre. She's a foodie and likes trying new things. 

This Mama dreams big and is passionate!  You'd better not stand in her way or you'll get knocked down....but then, she'll help you back up and talk you into whatever it is she's got up her sleeve.  She feels like the luckiest woman in the world!

Linking up with Mama Kat for Writer's Workshop.

My Favorite Christmas Memory

The beautiful and skinny Mama Kat has a great list of writing prompts this week and I'm feeling chatty so I decided to tackle TWO of them. I'll also be posting my weekly Countdown to Christmas and Elf Shenanigans later today.


Share a favorite Christmas memory

My senior year of high school was much different than I expected it to be. Over the summer, my Dad had been in a horseback riding accident.  He was too injured to return to his job and he was going to school to start a new career as a flight instructor. 

A few weeks after school started, my car was on it's last leg, so I got a job at a local auto parts store as a parts delivery driver and right before Christmas I had gotten my first loan from a bank and bought a 1979 Ford Mustang.  Money was tight and I was paying for all of my own expenses with my little paycheck.

I hated that I was being forced to be an adult a year too soon and I'm sure I sulked around a fair amount of the time.

I wasn't expecting much that Christmas.  My parents had started selling things to raise money to pay bills.  My piano was gone and so was my sister's horse. We had the basics and that was enough for me. 

I was amazed beyond belief when I opened a small box and found a a ring with a sapphire stone inside.  I remember crying because I didn't think I'd be able to get a class ring!  We'd looked at them once and when I realized they were over $200 I knew I'd have trouble saving that much.  Somehow, my parents had scraped enough money together to get my ring.

I'll never forget that day.

List the top 9 things that bring you joy

1.  Holding hands with my children
2.  Planning a trip
3.  Seeing my children happy
4.  Watching my husband get excited about something
5.  Winning 
6.  Riding roller coasters with my family
7.  Eating Chocolate Covered Orange Sticks
8.  Laughing at my son's jokes
9.  Watching my daughter do gymnastics

Five Things

I'm linking up with Mama Kat today because I love lists of things and one of her prompts this week told me to make a list. I can't resist a list.

2.) Five Things.  List 5 things we don’t know about you, 5 things you’re knowledgeable about, 5 things you know nothing about, 5 things you believe. (inspired by LouLou’s Views)

5 Things that you don't know about me.

• I wasn't very good in school.
• I used to be a very picky eater.
• I wanted to be a hair stylist when I grew up.
• I wanted to name my first born Paige.
• I love 80's music.

5 Things I'm Knowledgable About:

• Auto parts
• Squirrels
• Hand Quilting
• Chris Gorham
• The Young and The Restless

5 Things I know Nothing About:

• How to prevent pregnancy
• Math
• Birthing no babies
• Depression
• What Keith does for a living

5 Thinks I Believe

• Every thing happens for a reason
• I'm right where I'm supposed to be
• The Hokey Pokey is what it's really all about
• Jesus Loves Me
• I'm a great Mom 

Things To Never Ask Your Spouse

I'm lacking inspiration this morning because I had my first Parent-Teacher Conference yesterday. I wish I could tell you that it went well. My heart is heavy today as I sort out what I need to do to help my son while hugging the ever loving sh*t out of him. Man! I love that kid!

So....Mama Kat is always so helpful to have prompts available to choose from. I selected:

List of 10 things you should never ask you spouse.

1. Who the hell is Pilar? Asked while looking at your husband's facebook friends.

2.  Do you know where your going?  Asked while he's driving.  Anywhere.

3.  Are you done yet?  No comment.

4.  What's that smell?  Asked in bed.

5.  Do you know what today is?  Asked on the anniversary of the day you watched the TV show Ed together and he realized that he loved you.

6.  Have you gained weight?  Asked when he accidentally tries to put your jeans on.


7.  How do I look?  Just...don't do it.

8.   Do we have to watch Mythbusters?  Self Explanatory


9.  What is your password?  Asked when trying to access his email to look for messages from Pilar.

10.  What, are you wearing? This is different than what at you wearing.  wink wink

Kids Make The Darndest Things: Bobot

Last week, I took the kids to get their yearly check up. I decided to start taking them to see Cindi (my weight loss doctor...but she's also family practice) because I like her, I trust her and she has 4 kids so I think she has great experience as a health care provider. Plus, if the health care bill jacks everything up...I want to have a doctor friend in the family. Also, my sister Bobbi works for her. The kids LOVE their Aunt Bobbi so who better to make them cry when they get shots.

At the appointment....Cindi asked Alex to draw a stick figure. In my head I'm screaming at myself, 'You idiot! You haven't taught Alex how to draw stick figures! We've been working on circles and squares! Which are obviously so last year!' Alex...saves me and draws a circle and a line which Cindi accepts as a stick figure.  Either...she's not had many stick figures drawn for her, or her kids are not artistically inclined.

We move on to jumping on one foot which I've not taught him either but Mallory jumps in and does it so it looks like I've been doing something with my kids. This would also be a good time to note that she also read the eye chart for him.  On the way home, I bought Mallory a pony.

I relayed this information to Calvin at dinner that night and he took it upon himself to teach Alex how to draw stick figures....on the iPad.  We are NOT old school around here...we are high tech.  Alex did great and this is what he drew by himself.

It's a bobot!

Do you have some art work that your kid has done with a great story behind it? Link up at Buried with Children.

10 Ways to Beat Boredom

The cure for boredom is curiosity. There is no cure for curiosity.  ~Ellen Parr

I think there are very few times that I have ever been bored in my life....well, except for September 2002 to April 2003 when I dated a 40 year old GREEK Electrical Engineer that lived with his parents.  That was an experience I could have done without...his Mom kept feeding me and then telling me I needed to *make diet*.  I barely escaped from that situation....if you want to hear the story about this guy, then take the poll over on the left.

Mama Kat has a great list of prompts this week and since I wrote yesterday about blogging block...I thought this prompt was perfect!

Write a list of 10 things that can be done to stave off boredom.

1.  Look through your husband's old boxes for pictures and letters from old girlfriends.

2.  Eat cookies while watching the channel that has exercising on it.

3.  Read my blog.

4.  Take up a craft.

5.  Research a vacation destination.

6.  Go shopping with Bobbi.

7.  Write in a Journal

8.  Watch You Tube Video's of Panda's sneezing.

9.  Read a Jen Lancaster Book

10.  Exercise

Boredom: The desire for desires. ~ Leo Tolstoy

Quiet Christmas Morning...In the Colorado Snow

Mama Kat's got some great writing prompts this week and this one really called to me:

Describe how you would celebrate the holidays if it was totally up to you and money was not a factor.

I have always had a dream of spending Christmas in a cabin in the mountains. I'm not really sure why because I'm not a skier but I suppose it's possible that growing up in Colorado may have something to do with it.  Here's my dream cabin in the mountains.....

 

And here is where I will sit next to the fire, drinking my coffee in the morning while reading the lastest Jen Lancaster book.

 

Later in the afternoon, when the sun has come up...I will sit here with my glass of Pinot or a warm mug

 of hot chocolate.  I'll bring a quilt that I made myself and the sun will warm my face.

And at night after the kids are duct taped tucked in their beds, Calvin and I will come outside to the fire and drink Irish Coffee and snuggle under a big wool blanket and make smores.

What a wonderful dream....I hope I can make it come true someday.  What's your dream Christmas destination?

Did you see my Cook from the Book Challenge this week?  It was yummy!

Why being a Mean Girl can bite you in the Butt

NaBloPoMo...Day 12.

Operation: Get Your @SS Ready...Day 4.

I'm going to take advantage of Mama Kat's writing prompts again this week because I'm still afraid of running out of material by the end of the month.  And my brain is feeling kind of mushy....perhaps because I'm not eating enough salmon.  I looked at the choices and I knew this one was for me:

Tell a story about a moment in time when you were so happy you were you and not someone else in the room.

In elementary school...there was a girl that picked on me. We both walked home in the same direction and I always made sure to walk on the North side of the street because she favored the South side.

Most of her verbal attacks on me where made in the restroom (I think I stopped peeing at school around this time) but sometimes she would be jacking around on the way home and I would catch up with her and her friend. They would start yelling stuff at me from across the street and I would walk as fast as I could to get away from them.

After a few years, she moved on to Middle School and I didn't see her again until Jr. High. The first day of third semester, I sat down in my seat for bookkeeping class and I saw her a few rows ahead of me. I always avoided her gaze and it didn't appear that she remembered me so I was so relived.

One day, she walked into class with a jacket tied around her waist and she was crying. I overheard her tell a classmate that she had gotten her period and her WHITE PANTS were stained....and her mother wouldn't come get her. She had to finish out the day with bloody pants.

I was soooo glad that I wasn't her that day and vowed to NEVER wear white pants. EVER.

Karma's a bitch my friends.....

To read more visit Mama Kat.

There's a Good Reason why I can't Sleep

I mentioned the other day that I have a list of things to fill the month of November and my quest to NoBloPoMo.  Each day that I think about what to write about, I'm reluctant to use any of my ideas for fear that I will get to November 22nd and have nothing left.  Calvin, I know what you're thinking and stop rolling your eyes.  It is entirely possible for me to run out of things to say.

I decided to make it easy on myself today and use one of Mama Kat's writing prompts.  She had some great one's this week and it was hard for me to pick one but I'm going with....

10 Reasons why you can't sleep at night.

1.  I'm always thinking...which is probably why I'm always talking.


2. Someone....is snoring.


3. Someone...is prowling the house and turning all of the lights on.


4. Someone's nose hurts, is crying and needs medicine.


5. Sex dreams about Bob from The Biggest Loser.


6. Heartburn after drinking a bottle of wine.


7. I get up to pee and then can't go back to sleep.


8. The moon is too bright.


9. The dogs are barking.


10. I can't wait to have a cup of hot coffee.

I've had several comments from people that don't know who Bob is.  A cutie right?  Except for that weird vein in his forehead......

The Real Housewives of Orange County starts tonight!  I'm so excited!  I love most all of them (except Vicki...she drives me BA-NANAS!)

I have a vlog all ready to go for Friday!

What I Do All Day!

A few nights ago, Calvin came to me and asked me if I would put the kids to bed for him because he wanted to play World of Warcraft.  I reluctantly said OKAY because I get up with them every single day while he sleeps in on the weekends.  Granted...I can't sleep past 7am...but that is beside the point.

He tried to explain to me that he works all day...and then I told him I'm with them all day every day without a break.  He then told me that I just BLOG all day and then told me that he would withhold sex....this got a big laugh from me because HELLO...I've already been doing that for years!

I'm got news for him...I do much more than BLOG all day.  I also twitter and facebook and do this:

Try JibJab Sendables® eCards today!

This post is part of Mama Kat's Weekly Writing Prompts. 

Don't forget to come back tomorrow for the PARTY!!  Don't be Tardy!  One day only.....

Not just afraid...I'm scared!

As part of my attempt to take better care of myself I made an appointment to see a Dermatologist to have all of my moles inspected. (they all checked out fine) While I was there I was going to have her look at this spot on my face that I've had for a couple years that is like a dry patch that will never go away no matter how much lotion I put on it. The worried look on her face as she examined it sent chills down my back. She told me that she would be taking a biopsy of it to *see how bad it is*.

I have skin cancer.

I left the office and called my husband from the parking lot and I broke down. How could I have waited so long to have this checked? I racked my brain to think of how long it has actually been there and it's been at least 2 years...and it's grown. I spent the day trying not to think about it but the word cancer kept creeping into my thoughts. And of course I googled skin cancer which was a bad idea. I won't know anything for three weeks (sooner if it's REALLY bad) so I'm going to try not to worry...but it's hard.

In the back on my mind I knew this day was coming. I grew up being taught to suntan with baby oil and we never used sunscreen when we were out on the boat. As an adult, I had what they call Tanarexia....I frequented the tanning salon several days a week and bought lotions to make me darker! I'm happy to say that I haven't done any of that in six years but the damage has been done.

A few months ago I did a post called What I'm Afraid of....because of a blogging friend's son that was diagnosed with cancer. That is still my biggest fear...losing my children, and living my life without them. But yesterday, a new fear was born.....

The thought of something happening to me and my family having to go on without me is unbearable. I feel like an asshat for not taking better care of myself and allowing this to happen. There is so much I'm excited about and want to teach my kids and I know their lifes would be altered horribly without me here. I can't imagine Alex going off to college without me getting him ready and sending him care packages and how would Mallory ever be able to get married without me there to help her on her wedding day?

And Calvin. The poor guy doesn't even know where we keep the hammer for crying out loud? How would he function without me? In my mind's eye....we are growing old together and we are playing with our grandchildren....at a nursing home but still.....

Dear Baby Jesus,

Please, please don't let this be bad. My family needs me. I promise to always wear sunscreen and finally lose this 40 pounds. AND I'll cut back on the wine. Just please let this not be serious.

Thanks,

Connie

This post is in response to MamaKat's writing prompt.

I'm a Heathen...Get Me Out of Here!

I liked Mama Kat's list of prompts this week. One of them spoke to me more than the others.

Where would you like to be?

I think I've made it pretty clear that we don't feel like we belong in Utah. I've never lived anywhere in my life where my religion was a basis for people talking to me and it's hard to deal with. I'm really concerned for the kids....I don't want them to be excluded or shunned because they are different. Life is hard enough....

I would like to be in Colorado....Denver to be exact.

I love downtown Denver and we are huge Bronco Fans. My hubby has had season tickets with his best friend from childhood for 7 years. He travels to several games every winter.


My favorite place to hike....the Boulder Flat Irons. I once hiked 9 miles here while on a date.

This is my favorite restaurant...The Red Square Bistro. Calvin and I have celebrated our anniversary here twice and ended up pregnant days later...both times.

Here's my dream house...in a fabulous neighborhood. It's only a cool million.

I know my dream will come true....someday.

I'll Never Forget...

I'll never forget....my son's 3rd birthday.

Alex loves trains and gets so excited when he sees The Front Runner while we drive down the highway. We decided the perfect way to celebrate would to ride this train. It was awesome! The look on his face when we pulled into the parking lot and the excitement in his eyes as the horn blew and we traveled down the tracks....I will never forget.

I will never forget....how much my sister loves my kids.

Bobbi doesn't see them very often since she lives in Texas but she never forgets a birthday or a holiday. She sends packages and cards and Mallory is the spitting image of her.

I will never forget...the way Alex loves my sister.

He is not a super affectionate kid. He doesn't give out hugs and kisses freely. When you get one from him you know it is a precious gift and you must cherish it. He freely loves on Bobbi. Both kids constantly call her on their play phones and put up their hand (talk to the hand) if I interrupt their very important phone call.


I will never forget....how much my kid loves Chewtah (Pizza).

Both of my children would eat it everyday for the rest of their lives. They like when we make it at home but they love to go to The Pie and slug down a mug of root beer and play the pinball machine.

I will never forget....how wonderful it felt to be NEAR my sister.

Welcome to the Sisterhood of the Matching Pajama Pants! There was a time, many years ago that Bobbi and I were roommates. Even though we sometimes didn't get along because I am a morning person and she is....not. I will always hold those memories in my heart. She is my best friend and I would do anything for her. My latest scheme is to rent a Uhaul, kidnap her and make her my sister wife. Calvin I'm Kidding....

I will never forget....the gaggle of Red Hat Society ladies on the train.

I know exactly what I will be doing on my 50th birthday...I will be joining the Red Hat Society and I will wear a fabulous red hatbra on my head. I have already purchased a bedazzler and I'm working out a design! Only 11 more years....HOLY SH*T! Only 11 years? Hold Me!




This is post is a part of MamaKat's weekly writing assignment. Go HERE to see the prompts for this week and join in!



Don't forget to enter my giveaway...it ends Monday!

Rocky Mountain High

You can go back to your childhood for one day. What day and age do you choose?

When I was 10 years old my Dad got his pilot's license and I was his very first passenger. From that point on...I was obsessed with airplanes and flying. I spent every available moment at the airport with my Dad and we went to many air shows.

The summer of 1981, we attended the Weld County Air Show in my hometown of Greeley Colorado and my Dad bought two raffle tickets for a chance to ride in the Coors Lear Jet. We waited around in the sweltering July heat, waiting for the crotchety old men running the show to start calling out the winners. I sat against the wall of the terminal in the shade and I held my orange ticket in my sweaty palm, occasionally opening my hand and stealing a peak at my numbers. They called the first five set of numbers and I felt dejected. There was only one seat left and I just knew it wasn't going to be me.

As they began calling the numbers for the that last seat and I noticed that mine were matching up, I began to get excited! Oh my goodness! Dad! Those are my numbers! I won! I ran up to show them my ticket and they escorted me to a waiting area. My Dad had to sign some forms relieving Coors of all liability should something happen during the flight and then they let me inside.

The jet was like a long tube with tan leather seats. I took the last empty captain's chair and sat nervously waiting for something to happen. I was the only kid and the adults were chatting amongst themselves. Finally, one of them talked to me and asked me if I wanted a beer from the built in cooler. I was so nervous that I didn't even respond....I just thought he was stupid for asking me that.

Soon they closed the door and the jet began to move! I stared out the window and was shocked at how quickly the runway was disappearing as we left the ground and blasted into the sky. I had only been in my Dad's little Cessna 152....this was amazing!

The ride lasted about 20 minutes, heading west to the foothills of the Rocky Mountains and back. In my head, I was singing my favorite John Denver song while shaking like a leaf from the exhilaration and the freakin air conditioning....and I felt like the coolest/luckiest/happiest girl in the world!

This post is part of Mama Kat's Weekly Writing Assignment. Click here to see the prompts, pick one and join in!

A Rock and A Hard Place

Tell about a time you hurt somebody that still bothers you to this day.

There have been a few times in my life when I have had a best friend that I felt was like a sister to me. I met Denise because the man I was dating was working for her husband's construction company. We immediately clicked and for the next 10 years she would be the person I looked to for friendship, comfort, fun and advice. She would end up standing up for me when I married my ex-husband and she was there when it all fell apart.

Late one night, as I often did...I went to a bar looking for my ex-husband and I found Denise's Jeep in the parking lot. I parked behind it and went up to the window....but she wasn't the one inside. It was her husband and he was with another woman. I panicked, got back in my truck and left.

The next day, I was told by my husband that I was forbidden from telling Denise what I saw. Her husband had threatened his job and we couldn't afford for him to lose it. I felt terrible each time I saw or talked to her and wanted so desperately to tell her what I knew. And each time I saw HIM, he would leer at me because he knew that I wouldn't expose his dirty little secret.

For months....this went on. Keeping this from my friend was tearing me up inside....and I didn't know how I could go on with this information in my heart. Denise's husband didn't make it any easier for me. He treated her badly and finally he did something that allowed me to break my silence.

He hit her.

I couldn't stand by any longer and I told her the whole story! I was so conflicted because Denise had two small children with this man and she was going to forgive him....but once I told her the truth she made a decision to leave.

I have always felt so badly that I hurt my friend by withholding this information, that I didn't protect her and that she had to endure months more abuse from this man. It taught me to always listen to my gut. If it feels wrong...it usually is.

The good news is that Denise went on to marry a wonderful man and have a beautiful daughter with him.



This post is part of Mama Kat's Weekly Writing Assignment. Click here to see the prompts, pick one and join in! Click here to see what everyone picked.

The Call of the Wild

I found something fun that I want to participate in! Mama Kat does a weekly writing assignment! How fun is that? Here are the prompts....

1.) Write a limerick.

2.) Normal is...

3.) Describe a memorable camping experience.

4.) What's the best thing that has happened this week?

5.) Did you have a childhood hideout? Where? Describe it.

6.) Words that hurt me.

*****************

When I was a teenager we did a lot of camping. Around this time...my family became friends with a wilderness survival expert and I was forced to spend two nights in the woods in a shelter that we made out of sticks and I became violently ill from eating wild mushrooms. I believe that was our last camping experience because there were three of us(me, Bobbi and Mom) and one of him and we put our collective feet down. But that isn't my most memorable experience...OH NO....today I shall tell you about peeing in the woods.

In July 1980 something, my Dad came home from an Alaskan fishing trip a few days early and he had the wonderful idea that we should go camping in the Rocky Mountains. In true teenage fashion... I'm sure I threw a fit and I'm sure I sulked and pouted. During the night, I woke up and had to go 'potty'. We were in a camp ground but I had no intention of searching for the potty house in the pitch dark so I was going to just squat outside the tent. I got out of my sleeping bag and started to pull my sweat pants on when a wild animal screamed just outside of the tent. My heart stopped and I took my sweatpants off....since I had just pissed myself. My Dad, who apparently was awake...started laughing at me and asked if I needed to go to the bathroom. I informed him that I no longer needed to go thankyouverymuch.

After this...my Dad joked that my idea of roughing it was staying at a hotel that didn't have room service!