I'm a Geek Lover not a Greek Lover

Before I show you what Stavros looks like....I need to explain something.  I love nerdy guys.  A trip to the Apple Store turns me on and if you really want to get in my pants...buy me a iTunes Gift Card.  I won't even tell you what I did to Calvin when he bought me Apple TV.

For example...my TV boyfriends are all of the geek/nerd variety.  Like.....

Dwight Schrute

Henry Grubstick

Then there's the guy that invented Apple Computers....Steve Wozniak. 

And my honey bunny iKeith.

So it shouldn't surprise you at all that I'm attracted to brains.....

Garrison Keilor

This is who Stavro's looks like....about 20 years younger but very, very similar. 

Crafting...Instead of Eating Cookies

As many of you know...I've been on a super journey to lose massive amounts of weight and change my entire life by changing my eating habits.  Since I was a little girl I've been an emotional eater and....


OH MY GOD YOU GUYS!!  Chris Gorham just talked to me on twitter again!  He tweeted this:

 

 

Then I tweeted this:

  

And then he said THIS:

  

okay...where was I?   Oh yes, I'm an emotional eater and I've been changing my ways.  I can no longer take my feelings out on a bag of cookies when things are stressing me out.  I've had to find other outlets for my stress.  I made a short list of things to replace cookie eating with and this is what I came up with.

1. Exercise

2. Sex

3. Crafts

4. Reading

5. Cleaning

Exercise and Sex had to be removed from this list because  I don't like to get sweaty and I can only call the dishwasher repair man so many times  my husband isn't always home when I'm stressed out.  This leaves Crafts, Reading and Cleaning.  I'm currently reading three books at the same time....got that one covered.  And every time I think Calvin's going to lose this job I start throwing stuff out, organizing and cleaning.   This brings me to the craft projects I've been working on.  They were both Valentine's Day related so I was under some pressure to finish them.

I made this felt pillow by cutting out circles, folding them in half and quarters, sewing them shut...then sewing them onto a piece of felt that I turned into an envelope pillow cover.  It looks so cute on the chair in our family room....but I can't get the kids to leave it alone.

I saw this felt heart garland featured on Tatertot's and Jello and I knew I had to make one!  I didn't add as many embellishments as Frills, Fluff and Trucks did....but I think it turned out pretty cute.  This seemed to take me longer than it should have because the kids kept stealing my hearts.  And that glass vase on the mantel...it had MandM's in it at one time. Note to self: Don't decorate with candy.

  

I've had a few people ask me if I was going to be putting my Chore Charts in my Etsy Store.  I wasn't planning on it but I've decided that if anyone is interested in one I'd be more than happy to make them on a special order basis.  If you are interested in buying one...they are $24.

Happy Valentine's Day!

Clearing up the rumors....

I didn't want my little secret to get out. I thought we were being careful and that no one would get hurt. It was so innocent. But I have a confession to make....

Tiger was with ME at Sitscation.

But it didn't work out between us because of his GIANT head and he's a little too handy...if you know what I mean.

In all seriousness....this is the last guy I expected to cheat on his hot wife.  What the heck?  From what I know about him...he came from a great family and was a stand up guy.  Does this mean that all men are susceptible to cheating if the opportunity presents itself? Does this mean that all celebrities can't resist when someone *likes* them?  Does this mean that I have a chance with Chris Gorham?

Vlog: Jumpin and Stuff

Thank goodness it's FRIDAY!  But I just realized it's FRIDAY the 13th! AGH!  Yesterday was one of the hardest days I've had in a long, long time.  So bad that when I escaped to the grocery store I almost picked up a flyer for daycare.  You know it's bad when I'm thinking about getting a job.



Jennifer (who made me wear the bow in my hair) See!  I can rock the bow!

Kerri (who turned me on to Burt's Bee Chapstick).  THANK YOU!

Amanda (also known as Shortmama)  I could have jumped higher if the kids weren't weighing me down.



Somebody's Hero

What I Do All Day!

A few nights ago, Calvin came to me and asked me if I would put the kids to bed for him because he wanted to play World of Warcraft.  I reluctantly said OKAY because I get up with them every single day while he sleeps in on the weekends.  Granted...I can't sleep past 7am...but that is beside the point.

He tried to explain to me that he works all day...and then I told him I'm with them all day every day without a break.  He then told me that I just BLOG all day and then told me that he would withhold sex....this got a big laugh from me because HELLO...I've already been doing that for years!

I'm got news for him...I do much more than BLOG all day.  I also twitter and facebook and do this:

Try JibJab Sendables® eCards today!

This post is part of Mama Kat's Weekly Writing Prompts. 

Don't forget to come back tomorrow for the PARTY!!  Don't be Tardy!  One day only.....

Live Long and Prosper Chris Gorham

Captain's Log, 0930 hrs.
We are headed to the city of Salt Lake to obtain the new iPhone 3Gs. I'm reading twitter and sipping a Vanilla Iced Coffee from Mickey D's. The children are quietly working on their toy laptops like good little techies. I see a RT (retweet) from my blog buddy Connie in Canada and it contains a name that is very familiar to me. Chris Gorham.

Let the captain's log show that Chris Gorham is my favorite actor and I refer to him as *insert finger quotes ala Danielle on Real Housewives New Jersey* my boyfriend. He has been my boyfriend for many years. I've loved him since I first saw him on Popular back in 1999 and I even watched a movie he made where he played a Mormon Missionary to Tonga called The Other Side of Heaven. I may have accidently thought it was a P0rn0. Calvin and I watch his newest show every week called Harper's Island and it is an awesome show! But you might know him as Henry from Ugly Betty.


Anywho...I was so excited to see him on twitter so I followed him. And I read some of his tweets and HOLY COW he is in Salt Lake City. I may have peed my pants! We got the iPhone, we had some lunch, I avoided ruining my diet with a hotdog on a stick and we headed home.

Captain's Log, 1315 hrs.
I'm searching twitter for tweets from Christopher and I see that he is at a Support the people of Iran rally and it is at the capital building in Salt Lake which was just a FEW BLOCKS from where I was. My Boyfriend was A FEW BLOCKS away!

isn't he handsome!

Captain's Log, 1700 hrs.
Our babysitter arrives with a Kate Gosselin hairdo and it looks a little weird on a 15 year old. Calvin and I leave for our date to have some drinks, appetizers and go see Star Trek. We are having a lovely time, enjoying yummy food and talking. My eyes may have glazed over when he was trying to explain Star Trek to me. I checked twitter and Chris said that he and Alyssa Milano are filming a movie together called My Girlfriends Boyfriend. So I tweeted this:

Captain's Log, 1815 hrs.
Calvin and I discuss my sister's love life because discussing world peace is too heavy. And he informs me that she has to date a 52 year old guy because the new rule is half a guys age plus seven years. I tell him that I have never had trouble finding someone to date and I don't know why Bobbi has so much trouble because she is way cuter than me. AND HE AGREED. Wow....I think to myself, this date is going downhill fast.

Calvin was paying the bill and I received this tweet:

And then I lost my shit in the middle of the bar at the Sonora Grill.
MY BOYFRIEND TWEETED TO ME!

Captain's Log, 1905 hrs.
I am floating into the theater and we are five minutes late for the movie which has already started. There is stuff blowing up and little sirens going off and mass chaos. We take our seats and we're immediately drawn in. There is a heartbreaking scene in the first 11 minutes and I'm bawling. Star Trek isn't supposed to make you cry! During the movie, Spock leaves the Enterprise (you know beam me down Scotty) and he is having a moment with his girlfriend. She tells him that she is going to monitor his frequency. I leaned over to Calvin and I said, 'She is going to follow him on Twitter'. For the record, I have a total crush on the actor that played Doc McCoy.

Harold? Is that you? Where's Kumar?

Captain's Log, 2110 hrs.
The movie was wonderful and we had a fabulous night! We need to go on dates more often!

Captain's Log, 2200 hrs.
I begin plotting a sight seeing trip to Salt Lake City to find my boyfriend. Who wants to go with me?

*Disclaimer* I am not going to stalk Christopher Gorham. I just like to talk about stalking celebrities....like Kate Gosselin, Jen Lancaster and Martha Stewart so there is no need to alert the authorities.

Vacation or Rehab?

va·ca·tion

a period spent away from home or business in travel or recreation

re·hab, re·ha·bil·i·tate

to restore to a former capacity

Vacation is what you take when you can't take what you've been taking any longer.
Cowardly Lion (Wizard of Oz)

I'm still amazed that there are some people in the world that think that staying home with my children is not a job. That I don't work. And since I don't have a job, I certainly didn't deserve a vacation. So I decided to call it REHAB! I was in desperate need of rehab, since I had worked for 732 days without a day off. On call 24 hours a day. And I don't just take care of two small children....I have a husband that needs me too. It is beyond a full time job.

Rehab was great! I did a lot of shopping, finding many great outfits and a cute pair of shoes. I had my make up done by a super cute gay man at Sephora at the Northpark Mall. I told him that I needed something to make my eyes pop because I am a SAHM and I am blending into the couch. He did not disappoint and I am now the proud owner of Lancome Mascara, Fresh Eyeshadow in Corazon Del Mar and a Make Up Forever Black Eyeliner!

We saw a couple movies and throughly embarrassed the concession stand guy (Josh) who had some difficulty completing our order because of me and Bobbi's hotness. He was so flustered! We went to see Baby Mama, it was great! Very funny and it made me want anover baba weally bad. And it provided a new use for Pam kitchen spray!

The next day we went to see Forgetting Sarah Marshall. Mainly because we heard that there was full frontal MALE nudity. There was PEEPEE and we loved it. It was so freakin funny and we got our new life mantra from it. When life gives you lemons...@&$% the lemons and Bail!! Also...The weather outside is weather! LOL!


I met my internet friends Kristen and Aimee and we enjoyed some fabulous Margarita's together and made fun of a man in a white linen suit. I also insulted a bell hop. But in my defense, what I said came out wrong. We were having a fabulous time and then Texas weather hit and we had to leave quickly to escape a Twister! I suppose it is just as well. Two Top Shelf Margs and I was drunk dialing my husband and singing Milli Vanilli songs to him. GIRL...you know it's true! **a note about the picture. In Utah, it is very dry. Imagine a parched sponge. Take that sponge to Texas, add 95% humidity and tequila. I don't think I am that large in real life. I think I was bloated.

Back in the day, when I lived in the big city. I used to enjoy going to the theater and having fabulous sushi. I decided that I wanted to share this with my family so I got tickets to The Wedding Singer Musical. It was great! I just love live singing and dancing! The Music hall at Fair Park is a great venue. A note to people that go to the theater. DRESS UP!!
Business casual for a matinée does not mean jeans. And please, no flip flops!

Then we went to The Blue Fish on Greenville. It was awesome! I have had what I consider very good sushi and I have had sushi in Utah so I think I know great sushi when I see it. If you ever have the pleasure of eating here you have to have the Ahi Tower It is a Tuna tartar, snow crab, avocado salad, rice tower with wasabi sauce that is to die for!! It come out in this pretty stack and then the server smashes it all up for you and you gobble it up! We had a Caterpillar roll (eel & cucumber, topped with avocado, served with eel sauce) and Unagi Nigiri Roll and then I wanted my Dad to experience my favorite sushi roll.

Ikura with Quail Egg!



Isn't it beautiful? My Dad said he felt like he was on Fear Factor! And if you like Sake...try the Sho Chiku Bai. See if you can sit at Somalin's table! She is a great server!

If you know me very well, you know that I love Target. It pains me that I do not live closer to a Target and that the Target's here in Utah are missing a key ingredient that makes them wonderful. They do not have Starbucks. Well, I'm about to tell you something that will make you squeal with glee. I'm getting all sweaty and warm just thinking about it. What I'm about to tell you has replaced my sexual fantasy of doing it with Henry from Ugly Betty. Are you ready?

They sell Wine at Target!

I know, right! Isn't that freaking awesome? Starbucks AND Wine, IN Target!

I did lots of sleeping, reading and visiting with my family! It was really nice to get away but I missed my husband and kids so much. They were so happy to see me when I returned home and I think they appreciate what I do a little more.


Here is a picture Bobbi took of me with her phone before the theater. If you look in the mirror...you can see her. She flattened my hair for me. Oh and see...I'm not as puffy. LOL!