Operation: Take Connie To Prom

My Senior year of high school was not my best year.  The summer before I had dated a real bad boy.  I broke up with him after I found myself involved in a high speed chase through a trailer park.  It scared the heck out of me and turned me off from dating for a while.

I spent my senior year working at Hillside Auto Supply and studying.   This is likely the only time in my high school career that I devoted so much time and energy to my school work.

My Senior Prom was coming up,  I hadn't been asked to go and I was completely fine with it.  I was paying for all of my own expenses now, because my Dad had been in a bad horseback riding accident and wasn't working.  I didn't want to spend my hard earned money on a silly dress that I wouldn't wear again.

A week before the dance, I got a phone call from Ken, a friend of my Mom that was an armored truck driver.  You know, the trucks that pick up money at businesses for banks.   There was a collaboration called Operation: Take Connie To Prom that I was unaware of.   The masterminds behind this plan were:  My Mom, My boss's wife (she also had her deposits picked up by Ken) and the entire office staff at my high school (also customers of Ken).

They all decided that poor little ole Connie should go to Prom and Ken should be the guy to take me even though....he was 27 years old and wore a toupée.

Yes.  That's right.  He wore a toupée

So I got a phone call from Ken saying that he was taking me to Prom, he already rented a tux and bought the tickets and made dinner reservations and ordered a corsage.  He wasn't going to take NO for an answer.

Shit!

So, I went to Prom with Ken and his toupee in his powder blue El Camino with curtains in the window and my friends all laughed at me and asked me over and over how OLD my date was.

HELP ME!

The only thing that saved my evening was the two Orange Wine Coolers that Ken gave me in the car.  This might be where my drinking problem started....THANKS MOM!

Ken called me the next day and asked if I wanted to go for a ride on his motorcycle.  I declined....all I could think about was his hair coming loose and smacking me in the face.  We didn't go out again.


Note: My apologizes to my parents who are just now learning of the high speed chase and the wine coolers.  Lucky for me, I'm too old to be grounded.   I've also changed my dates name to protect his identity.  The truth is...I can't remember his real name and Ken sounded good.  

I'm Feeling 42

Hi friends.

 You're probably wondering what happened to me.

 PTA is kicking my ass! So much to do and only 7 more days to do it. I'll be back, I promise.

 Just a friendly reminder that The Bachelorette starts NEXT Monday. I'll be watching and recapping.

 In the meantime, I leave you with a little entertainment. I was watching The Billboard awards last night and I heard Taylor sing this and I immediately changed the words to fit whats happening in my life right now.

 My Ode to Peri-menopause! Sing it with me...I don't know about you, but I'm feeling 42!


 


It feels like a perfect night to dress up like spinsters
And make fun of our menses, uh uh uh uh
It feels like a perfect night for ZzzQuil at midnight
To fall in love with Midol uh uh uh uh
Yeaaaah
We're happy free confused and horny at the same time
It's miserable and magical oh yeah
Tonight's the night when we forget about the hormones, it's time uh uh

I don't know about you but im feeling 42
Everything will be alright, if you do what I tell you to
You don't know about me but I bet you used to
Everything will be alright if we just keep acting like we're 42, 42

It seems like one of those nights
This bra is too crowded, too many L.B.'s.
It seems like one of those nights
We wake up at 3am  and end up screaming instead of sleeping
Yeaaaah
We're happy free confused and horny in the best way
It's miserable and magical oh yeah
Tonight's the night when we forget about migraines, it's time uh uh

I don't know about you but im feeling 42
Everything will be alright, if you do what I tell you to
You don't know about me but I bet you used to
Everything will be alright if we just keep acting like we're 42, 42

I don't know about you, 42, 42

It feels like one of those nights
We ditch the whole sheet
It feels like one of those nights
We won't be sleeping
It feels like one of those nights
You're having hot flashes, I gotta cool you

The Buick Discovery Tour

It's snowing again.  Yes, it's April and we've had more snow this month than we've had our entire winter.  I'm ready for SPRING!  Luckily, Sunday was a beautiful day.  It was a bit overcast but the sun was out when we test drove a new Buick Encore.

Actually, Rachel gave us a ride. I don't like to drive in downtown Denver if I can help it.

Photo Credit: Connie Weiss

What do you think of when you hear Buick?  You probably remember the super reliable and big cars that your grandparents drove, right?  I've always thought Buick cars were too expensive and that's why older folks drove them.

Funny story!  When I met Keith I drove an Oldsmobile.  Four doors, vinyl top and electric doors and windows.  It was a Grandma car.  While we were looking at the cars he told me that he almost didn't keep dating me because of my car.  WHAT? Rude! 

Buick....you've come a long way since my Grandma's grocery getter!  I fell in love with a couple of the cars.  I'd love to put Keith in the new Verano when his car wears out.  It comes in a turbo (which he doesn't need) and it gets great gas mileage. 

Plus, I think it would be fun to have a Murano and a Verano.  And, Peyton Manning LOVES the Verano. Have you seen the commercial he's in?  I love it!

Photo Credit: General Motors

You're probably wondering why Keith and I were running around downtown Denver letting pretty school teachers drive us around.  We were invited to The Buick Discovery Tour that was put on by Buick (obviously) and Food and Wine Magazine.

I spent a lovely three hours at the Four Seasons eating, drinking and watching food demos by amazing chefs.  You may not know this but in my former life (BK...Before Keith) I was a manager of an auto repair shop and auto parts store.  I know cars!  In my new shiny Trophy Wife life....I'm a Rookie Foodie and highfalutin gal.

Photo Credit: Connie Weiss

We learned how to make fresh Ricotta and Cavatelli pasta from local chef Alex Seidel of Fruition Restaurant and Farms.  Alex is super adorable and has convinced me to get a sheep, a pig and a pasta maker. THIS JUST IN...Keith says I can't get a sheep or a pig but I can get a pasta maker. We can't wait to visit Fruition and take the kids to the farm for a tour!

Photo Credit: Intersport

Next was the adorable and funny cookbook author and pastry chef, Hedy Goldsmith.  She told us a charming story about her easy bake oven and is very passionate about balancing savory and sweet.  The recipe she made for us had basil in it and it was so delicious!  I can't wait to make the Basil Panna Cotta with Strawberry Consomme for my family.

Photo Credit: Intersport

Our next culinary adventure involved 21 weeks of wine instruction in 20 minutes with the hilarious Michael Green.  We tasted two wines with two different items.  A Sauvignon Blanc that was made better by sucking a lemon slice and a Tempranillo that was fantastic with a piece of dark chocolate.  The most important thing that I learned from Michael was....if a wine tastes good to you, it's good wine and it's okay to swallow.

ME and Michael Green
Photo Credit: Keith Weiss

The best was saved for last!  Michael Psilakis, world famous chef and restaurant owner made the most amazing little Gyro Sliders that I've ever tasted.  He told us a story about how food has connected him to his family and it touched me so much because this is what I want my kids to take away from their lives with me. I want to plant the seed!

Photo Credit: Intersport

I will be testing all of these recipes in the Rookie Food Kitchen in the next few weeks.

At the end of this wonderful experience, we were given many gifts!  Keith has asked me to give his swag away to one lucky reader.  Come to The Rookie Foodie for a chance to win a Buick Discovery Tour Swag Bag.


Disclaimer: I was given free tickets (all the tickets were FREE)  to The Buick Discovery Tour and a lovely swag bag from Food and Wine Magazine but all opinions are my own. 

Be a Smartie, Vote for Connie

I think I've wanted to be the PTA President ever since I heard the song Harper Valley PTA when I was a kid.  I obviously didn't understand the lyrics because it is NOT a pro-PTA song.  If I followed their rules I'd have to send myself a note for drinking too much wine while doing school work with my kids.

Through the years, I discovered my keen ability to organize, plan and lead people. I also have a mild addiction to excel spreadsheets.  I believe that I am born leader and I know that I'm passionate about my school and my kids education.  I'm so devoted to the PTA that at the last meeting a offered to tattoo the name of a local business on my rump in exchange for a donation.

PTA just seems like the perfect place for me to use my talents for good and not evil!

I didn't have any immediate plans to run for President but then the opportunity arose and now next week, I'll be voted in!  I had big plans to actually run for President with shirts and campaign songs.  My BFF Heather is going to be my co-president, provided that we convince another of my friends to be the treasurer.  I've been assembling a TEAM to make the next two years the best this school as ever seen!

I had a few songs selected to use as our campaign song.  Please vote for your favorite!

The Dog Days Are Over

When You're Good to Mama

Nothings Gonna Stop Us Now

I'm a Slave 4 U

I've got a campaign sloan too!  

Be a Smartie, Vote for Connie

(and Heather, but mostly Connie)

Disclaimer: This post is all in fun.  The days have not been doggy and Mama can't do crap for you.  Heather is my partner....as long as she doesn't get rid of her iPhone and does what I tell her to do.  Just kidding! She can get a different phone.  Just kidding! 

Note to parents from my school:  If you happened to google my name because it's been in the school newsletter a million times lately and you found my little blog....HI.  Keep in mind that I'm a humor blogger and a part time stand up comedian.  You can catch my act at the next PTA meeting.  It's fun....I promise!    

Fairy Garden

I've got BIG plans to create a Fairy Garden out in the woods by the lake near our house.  I'm going to secretly create this garden and then happen upon it with my kids.  This may be the coolest thing I've ever done and I'm so excited I could pee my pants.

Actually, I shouldn't say that.  I've been sick for over two weeks and have peed my pants about 30 times.  Having two kids in one year plus coughing constantly equals Connie pees her pants.  I also learned the hard way that you should NEVER cough while squatting next to a small child's desk in a Kindergarten Class.

Back to the Fairy Garden.

I just discovered that TARGET is selling little Fairy Garden sets but you have to order them online.  They are just precious and will compliment my plans perfectly.

I love this Dreamscape Fairy Garden.

I can also see the Backyard Oasis working well for me too.

This is the Fairy Door that I'm ordering from NothinButWood on etsy.

DISCLAIMER: Target is not paying me to write about their stuff. I just can't get enough of Target and had to share.

SMASH Your Year: March

Welcome to SMASH Your Year!  Me and my friend Jessica are SMASHing two (or more) pages a month for the whole year to document our lives!  We don't want to lose these precious memories and scrapbooking is too hard.  It's not too late to join us!

January SMASH pages
February SMASH pages
Jessica's pages


I feel like I lost a week of March.  It was very busy and we traveled 1900 miles to Texas and back.  My daughter also turned 6 and I now have two six year olds for the next couple of weeks.  She thinks during this time that she is the BIG sister.  We let her think that.....

 I did two pages for March and then a bonus TEXAS vacation page.  Only problem is that I accidentally skipped two pages in between.  Dang it.

This month I listed all the great things that happened! I love those little booklets from SMASH BOOK.

I had to do one whole page about the birthday girl!

THE TEXAS PAGE!

I've been sick for two weeks so my pages are not as creative as I would have liked.  Hopefully they will be better next month.

And my cover....I added TYPE A.  I think it fits me.

April pages will post on May 9th! 

Minted

My friend Jennifer is pregnant with a baby boy and all I can think about is babies!  I know that iKeith won't let me have anymore and my biological clock's battery is dead so I'm going to focus on something I can make happen.

A wedding.  I want to re-marry Keith!

I found the most beautiful wedding invitations from Minted! They are also having an Anniversary Sale right now and you can get 15% off from your order.  I absolutely love the invitations that look like a chalk board.  How original is that?

I can't even remember what my invitations looked like but I know they were not as artistic and cute as these.  Doesn't make you want to get hitched all over again?  It would sure take my mind off from the baby fever.  And my kids could stand up for us.

Look at this inspiration board.  I'm in love!

a greenhouse affair board by Kayla King. See more modern Minted wedding invitations

The other thing that caught my eye at Minted is the Journals.  My kids are just starting to write and Mallory loves writing her private thoughts.  I love this so much because I have been journaling since i was a young girl.  Check out the kids journals, you can have their beautiful faces put on them and personalized the journal with their name.  What an amazing gift for a young writer.

I'm in love with this journal with the Pretty Poppies.  I love this color combination....and you can order any journal with lined pages, blank pages or grid paper.

They have an adorable blog with craft ideas and you can find them on facebook, twitter and pinterest.

Disclaimer: This is a sponsored post for Minted but opinions and choice of groom are all mine.

April Goals

I'm still sick....but not too sick to make a list.



March was a blur and I didn't do very well with my fitness goals.  Maybe now that the weather is looking up I'll have more luck.

 March Goals:

[X] Go Shopping with my Sister in Dallas HECK YEAH!
[ ] Have a blogger meet up in Dallas didn't happen.  sad panda
[X] Go to Fort Worth HECK YEAH!
[X] Touch a cow HECK YEAH!
[ ] Lose 2 pounds ummm...no
[ ] Complete Lose a Jean Size Workout 9 times  did it once, husband stole my ball
[ ] Run 7 Times no
[ ] Make Pasta  no
[X] Have Breakfast with Mom's from Mallory's Kindergarten Class  HECK YEAH!
[X] Become the PTA President I've been nominated! 

April is just as busy as March and there are only 37 school days left!  Can you believe it?

April Goals

[ ] Have a Tea Party for my very pregnant friend

[ ] Hold my friend's brand new baby boy

[ ] Run a successful campaign for PTA President

[ ] Bring Vlogging back

[ ] Finally start training for a 5K

[ ] Celebrate my son's 7th birthday 

[ ] Run Walk a 5K
[ ] Read 3 books 

What are your goals for April?  Link up with Angie at My So-Called Chaos.

Down With The Sickness

I had big plans to do a VLOG showing you all of the cool stuff I got while shopping with Bobbi in Dallas.  Unfortunately, I've been sick since Saturday and I've had a turn for the worse.  If I live...I'll try to do it for tomorrow.

I've had plenty to do while laying on the couch because Keith informed me he's finally shutting off the cable TV since The Walking Dead is over for the season.  This means I had to quickly watch 300 hours of DVR'd shows.  I'm all caught up on The Rachel Zoe Project, Whitney and The Real Housewives of Everywhere.

I deleted the entire season of Dallas because J.R. is dead and I didn't want to watch him die.  I'm in denial.

ANNOUNCEMENT: I'm moving Smash Your Year to the second Thursday of every month because I like ordering my photos from Foxgram and it takes about 5 days.  You should also know that they have a new app so you can order right from your phone.

In closing I want to tell you that I can't wait to take my Nyquil tonight and get to bed.  Last night, I dreamt that Channing Tatum was wooing me and trying to get me to leave Keith.  Every time I said No....he'd start dancing.  I woke up in a sweat.  I could have been the fever......

Going Through the Big D

We had so much fun in Texas that I've had trouble really putting a post together. There were so many pictures to go through and I felt like so much happened in just a few days.  

The drive there was long even though we had snacks and a travel scavenger hunt for the kids to work on; it was too many hours in the car.  We've learned our lesson and a few others, like Keith and I are too old to drive after dark and eat Sonic after 8pm.

The kids had fun with the scavenger hunt and Alex didn't realize he was reading words.  Shhh....don't tell him it was educational, it takes all of the fun out of it!  They searched for white trucks, horses, cows, signs, a star, a church, a gas station and a bunch of other things! 

Our first real day of vacation was super busy!  Grandpa Bob took us to the pilot shop at the Addison airport because he needed to get his grandson a log book.  Alex was to supposed to get his first flying lesson but it didn't work out.  We also had a cup of coffee together to celebrate! 

Later that day Aunt Bobbi had a birthday party for the kids at a local park.  She invited some of her friends and their kids and we had a great time.  Even though it was cold and grey.  The kids didn't mind and our giant Texas cake was delicious.  It's true....everything IS bigger in Texas.

Have I ever told you how much Bobbi and I love Target?  I also love that you can buy wine at Target. 

On Monday, we went to Ft. Worth.  My parents have lived in the Dallas area for 16 years and I'd never been there.  I wasn't missing much!   HA!

I did get to sit on and touch a cow which was one of my goals for March.  I loved it!  

Alex sat on the cow too and he also conned his Grandpa into buying him a hat and a stick horse.

We had a wonderful barbecue lunch (review coming this week on The Rookie Foodie) and then we tried to go to Billy Bob's Texas to look around and go to the gift shop.  We ended up walking out because they wanted $2 from each of us for the privilege.  I don't think so Billy Bob! 

Tuesday we did some shopping and I got a new outfit!  We headed out Tuesday afternoon because we learned that when you're old, it actually takes TWO days to drive 800 miles.  We also decided that taking the interstate is the best way to go because you can go very fast!  The kids got to add two more states to their list of places they've been. 

Oklahoma is beautiful in March! 

If you made it through this entire post you deserve a reward.  Thanks for reading!  

Texas On My Mind

Confession: I didn't realize that Easter was this weekend until Wednesday afternoon when we were driving home from Dallas.  I considered not telling my family and skipping it. Easter is my least favorite holiday but not because I don't like Jesus.  I love Jesus, it's the Easter bunny that I despise.  I haven't forgotten about my little tif with the Mall Bunny and his handler last year.  I wish we could just focus on Jesus and leave the bunny and the chocolate out of it.  But the show must go on!  I'll hide eggs and buy a couple tiny chocolate bunnies.  But I've decided to make Brunch and serve corn dogs for Easter dinner.  It was the kids idea....I'm going with it!

The truth is I'm in a bit of a funk.  I'm experiencing post-vacation blues and I miss my family.  We really had such a great time and my kids got to know my parents a little better.  My Mom and Dad are getting older and it hit me hard.  In my head they are still in their 40's and I'm only 25.  But the reality is that we all can't hear very well and we fall asleep before the news comes on. We've got aches and pains and grey hair.

The old home town looks the same as I step down from the murano,
and there to meet me is my Mama and Papa.
Down the road I look and there runs Bobbi hair of gold and lips like cherries.
It's good to touch the green, green grass of home.
Yes, they'll all come to meet me, arms reaching, smiling sweetly.
It's good to touch the green, green, grass of home.
The old house is still standing, tho' the paint is cracked and dry,
and there's that old oak tree that I used to play on.

Spring Break

We're having a great time in Dallas on Spring Break!  It's been 5 years since I've been home and I missed it so much.  The kids are loving all of the dogs and cats to play with.  Between my parents and I sister they have 5 cats and 5 dogs. Alex has been worn out every night after playing outside in the yard and throwing balls!

Grandpa even put the kids to work.

We drove straight here from Denver.  800 miles and 14 hours in the car.  We discovered that we're too old to do this and also eating Sonic at 8pm is a bad idea too.  We've changed our plans slightly and will be taking TWO days to come home.

I've got more to show you but that will have to wait until I get back.

Lilly's Purple Plastic Purse

It's been a crazy day!  Keith and I were both selected to chaperone the Kindergarten field trip to the Mizel Art Center in Denver.  This was Keith's first time on a field trip and the teacher tried to break him!  He had two unruly kids in his group and he was extremely grumpy when we got home.

We saw Lilly's Purple Plastic Purse.  It's a lovely play about a young mouse named Lilly that is a self proclaimed Queen of the World who likes everything.  Everything, except for her brand new baby brother.  Lilly makes a couple new friends, deals with a narcissistic cousin named Garland and misbehaves in class because she isn't getting attention at home.  In the end, Lilly learns a lesson and decides her brother isn't so bad after all.

This play is based on the books by Kevin Henkes, tickets are on sale now through April 28th.  Contact The Mizel Arts Center for ticket info.


 

Disclaimer: I was not paid to review this play and my daughter was not compensated for her interview. All thoughts are her own.  I might have bribed her with chocolate to get her to speak but that is it.  No other compensation.  Thank you.

Ramblings

I'm going through Bachelor withdrawal.  We have two months until we get to see Desiree as The Bachelorette!  In case you want to put it on your calendar, the premiere date is May 20th.

On Friday I volunteered in Alex's classroom and ran the contractions center.  I giggled to myself that it was appropriate because I had been having contractions 6 years earlier.  One of the kids decided I needed a nick name and is now calling me C-Bone.  Another told me that he has to do his own laundry because his Mom is too lazy to do it.

Alex has been having a heck of a time passing his sight word tests and told us that it was because his teacher is too attractive.  She's distracting him!  He's also scrounging up every coin and dollar he can get his hands on to bid on a date with her next month at a school fundraiser.  Keith told him if he passed his sight word test he'd give him $10 towards his goal.

Guess who has two thumbs and passed his sight word test on Friday.

THIS KID!

We had a great weekend celebrating Mallory's birthday.  We started off with a little tea party.  Now she wants all of her meals served with all of this pomp and circumstance.   Should I call her Mary and get her a butler?

We bought a cake at Rheinlander's Bakery in Old Town Arvada, had lunch at Texas Roadhouse, went to the LEGO store so she could pick out one of her presents and then went to get a balloon.

Alex and I practiced spending lots of time in the car.  We're headed out on another road trip in a few days, this time to Dallas to visit my family!  The kids are super excited and I have no idea what we're going to wear.

selfie in the car

We spent Sunday putting together legos and I made an traditional irish meal.  I'm so glad that it only comes around once a year because I'm not a fan of corned beef and cabbage.

I couldn't help taking these inappropriate pictures because on the inside...I'm really a 12 year old boy.

Mia had too much Guinness.

How was your weekend?

and then she was six

As I pulled into our parking spot on Friday I realized that the little girl in the back seat had been awfully quiet.  I turned off the car and turned in my seat to see a quivering lip and tears about to spill out of two beautiful blue-grey eyes.

'What's wrong sweetie?' I asked.

In a small little voice she answered me.  'It's my last day being five and I'm just so sad!'

I crawled into the backseat, unbuckled her seatbelt and pulled her into my arms.  As soon as her head touched my chest, she began to sob.  We stayed like this for about 20 minutes while I told her how great being six is going to be.  Soon....she'll be competing in her first science fair, we've got a whole summer to perfect swimming underwater and since she just learned to read, there are so many books to be devoured.  She'll be a 1st grader before you know it and I bet she'll lose some teeth this year.  There's ice cream to eat, pictures to draw and new friends to make!

Being five was nice, but being six is better.

As much as I'd love to keep her little and hold her in my lap forever....she's has to grow up.

This morning I served her Lucky Charms (a birthday tradition since it's always right before St. Patrick's Day) in fine china and her milk in her favorite Alice in Wonderland cup that her Grandpa gave her.  She's decided that she'd like to eat all of her meals this way and she'd like her Dad to be her personal butler.

I love you Princess!

Replacing Google Reader with Feedly

Note: Last night there was a mass exodus to Feedly and they are having a few technical difficulties.  Give it a few days and I'm sure everything will work fine.  As you can imagine, their servers and staff are under an enormous amount of pressure right now.  Be Patient!

You guys know that I love to research things and I really had fun with this one.  I know what I like and to tell you the truth, I didn't really like Google Reader.  Perhaps this is all for the best and now I have the chance to be truly happy with my reader experience.

Let's get started!

You need to connect Feedly to your existing Google Reader.  They will do all of the work for you...just click on the button.  Feedly also tells us that when Google Reader shuts down, they will have a program in place that will retain all of our information.  No Worries!

All of your categories are on the left.  You are putting your blogs into lists right?  I've been sorting blogs like this for years and it makes it so much easier to read.  Feedly has several different ways for you to view your blogs.  Let's go over them now.

If you want it to look something like your old reader then you will want to select the Titles view.  When you click on the little wheel, the list will come up.  Experiment with the different views until you find something you like.

When you click on a title, it will open the post up in the reader....like this.

To go to the blog so that you can comment, which you totally should because we all love to hear from our readers and it helps us sleep at night when we get comments, click on the title again.

Just a note here that this is also where you can share this wonderful post with YOUR friends.  You can google+, tweet, Facebook and email.  You will find those options right under the post title.  See that little +tag up there?  This is where you can tag a post that you want to save for future reference.  Those tags will appear under your lists on the left hand side.

There is one little button I need to warn you about.  The check mark.

If you want to mark your entire list as READ.  Go ahead and click that.  It will ask you (unless you turn that notification off) if you REALLY want to mark all as read.  I've hit it a few times already and panicked.     

If you want to go directly to a blog (so you can comment), there is an option under the Organize tab that is located right next to your pretty face on the left hand side.  

This is also where you can move blogs to a different list, and remove from your reader. 

If you have any question please ask them in the comments and I'll respond.  If I come up with anymore tips, I'll share them on my facebook page.