Disneyland!

We are here today.

Blogged from the line for Peter Pan ride at Disneyland.

No Such Thing

I spent weeks planning this trip. Researching hotels, restaurants and attractions. I planned outfits, bought snacks, packed suitcases.

AND I packed the car.

My husband....only had to come home and get in the car.

And then he has the nerve to ask me why I'm so tired on our vacation!

Blogged from The Best Western in Kingman Arizona....next stop! Wally World!!

I'm a Rebel

I took this picture with my cell phone. 

 In the no cell phone zone.

Goodbye Tebow

It was fun...

How to Throw a Hello Kitty Party

Saturday was Mallory's Hello Kitty Birthday Party!

I had so much fun planning this one because she was VERY involved with the process and is VERY opinionated (like another princess we know).

The first thing we did was set up a meeting with our cake designer.  What?  Your family doesn't have their own cake designer?  Well....I'm sorry, but you need to get one.

We explained to Gemma from Bella Stella Bakery what we wanted and how many people would be attending.  At the last minute we changed the cake to chocolate because Gemma made a cake for Keith's office and he fell in love with it. 

The letters are poured chocolate people.  Not fondant!  And Hello Kitty is edible. It was the most delicious chocolate cake I've ever eaten.  YUM!  

I had the party at my brother in law Robert's house because we live in an apartment and there were only going to be 6 children so renting the clubhouse wasn't necessary.   What I failed to factor in....was how anal Uncle Robert is about his perfect little house and even thought I took every precaution, it was stressful.

For the kids eating/crafting needs I bought plastic lap desks at Michael's and decorated them with the kids names.  To protect the floor, I bought a shower curtain liner at The Dollar Store.  It worked out GREAT! 

One nice thing about the lap desks is that they have deep pockets on the side and the goodie bags fit nicely.  They contained a pencil, little hello kitty bubbles, a hello kitty camera, ring pops, bracelets and hello kitty nail polish (for the girls) and a small ball (for the boys).  Many of the items came from Party City.  Their selection of trinkets and candy for goodie bags is fantastic! Everyone was excited to learn that they could take their desk home with them.

I had planned to play pin the bow on Hello Kitty.  I drew a huge Hello Kitty head on a white poster board and then cut out 6 red bows and put the kids names on them.  We didn't play this game because at the last minute Uncle Robert obtained a bounce house and that was all the kids wanted to do with their extra time. 

Instead, as the kids were leaving we played Guess How Old Connie Is for a prize.  The child that won (bless her heart) guessed the nearest to my REAL age.  She guessed 72.

The bounce house was a HUGE hit.  I didn't know you could actually buy a bounce house for your own enjoyment and will be doing so when I finally move into a house.  They take 15 minutes to set up. 

Mallory received very thoughtful and amazing gifts!  She is thrilled with the GIRL Legos, and a book of stories for five year olds.  We're so blessed to have made great friends this year and look forward to more birthday's with them.

Our next party: LEGO Harry Potter Theme!  I'm so excited!

Bro From Now On

It's been Applepalooza at our house this weekend!

Keith stood in line at the Apple store for the new iPad HD on Friday (it's really cool) and then he upgraded my phone to a 4s on Sunday.  

In-between....we had a rip-roaring party for Mallory!  More about that tomorrow.

I was really excited to ask Siri a couple questions and she didn't know the answers so she kept asking me if I wanted her to surf the web for me.  If you don't have Siri then you should know that when she doesn't know the answer to something she uses this questioning tone in hopes that you won't get mad (and sue her) for not knowing. 

It's the same tone that someone in a naughty massage parlor would use.

You want happy ending?

Do you want me to surf the web?

Oh Siri....I can't quit you.

A few weeks ago, I was playing with my friend Heather's iPhone and after a couple glasses of wine....I told her Siri to call her Sexy Mama.  

A few days later.....she was at work and her boss told her to text someone and she did.  And then Siri said, 'I sent the message Sexy Mama'.  Her boss and the other 50 guys she works with got a big kick out of it! Oops. 

I told Siri to call me Bro.  Except that I said, 'Siri, call me Bro from now on.'

I wasn't having any luck with my questions so I decided to see if she knew any knock-knock jokes.  

She doesn't.

Five

Disney Land

It happened at Disney Land.....

In 1982, my family went on a whirl wind vacation. We started in Greeley Colorado, went to Minnesota, camped through Canada and then followed the coast down through California and then back home from Arizona.

In the middle of this trip....we went to Disney Land.

It was amazing! I remember being so excited, even though I was on the cusp of being a teenager and no longer enjoyed G rated movies.  I was blown away by the magic of Disney!

I will never forget riding through the jungle cruise on a boat named Connie and climbing the Swiss Family Robinson Tree.

credit

My favorite memory was going to the Enchanted Tiki Tiki Tiki room and seeing the show. It was mesmerizing and thrilling at the same time. The show was wrapping up and suddenly, the sound of rain filled our ears and it appeared that the little grass hut was being assaulted by a major downfall.

My 7 year old sister immediately started putting on her windbreaker and making sure that her hood was tied securely around her face. We walked out into the California sunshine to realize that the rain was another part of the Disney magic and wasn't real at all!

In 12 days, I will be experiencing the magic of Disney Land with my two 5 year olds (yep, Mallory turns 5 tomorrow and then they will both be 5 for 5 weeks!!).  I don't know who is more excited.....them or me!





Linking up with MamaKat for the Writers Workshop!

Lesson Learned

I'm linking up with Impulsive and Shawn because I have to tell you that I have seen the light!







I like to think that by this age, I know it all. I've lived a long hard life and all the lessons I need to learn have been applied and well noted. Well.....I was wrong.

I went away to Black Hawk for the weekend with my family and Robert (my brother husband). While they were checking us in...I ran to the Starbucks in the casino and got drinks for everyone. When I got to my room, I was informed that Robert had arranged for me to go to the Spa and have a massage. AWESOME!

I was given a tour of the spa, shown where I could sit and relax with a glass of cucumber infused water and where I could soak my naked body in front of a bunch of other women....then instructed to strip down and slip into the most luxurious robe I've ever experienced.

There were a couple of other ladies in the locker room with me and this is when I realized that I was not wearing the most attractive panties that I owned. I was in fact wearing the most ratty pair.

LESSON LEARNED: Never wear ratty underwear. You never know when someone will buy you a massage and you'll need to strip down in front of other people. 

My husband has been taking pictures of me lately. I don't know what's gotten into him but I was going through his pictures last night and found several photos of me....with my phone in my hand.

UGH! What the heck am I doing? Checking twitter and Facebook for the hundredth time? 

LESSON LEARNED: I need to put the phone down and enjoy my life! 

The last picture of me sitting next to my daughter brings me to my next lesson learned. On the way home from Black Hawk, we left early in the morning without eating breakfast. Alex ate a granola bar and Mallory ate an apple but the adults were waiting to go to Denny's.

We drove down the winding canyon and as we were coming out of the mountains and were about 10 minutes from home.....Mallory said she had to throw up.

I told her she didn't. And then she did. I caught most of it with my hands but Robert's BRAND NEW CAR now has vomit in it.

LESSON LEARNED: If Mallory says that she has to throw up.....PULL OVER!

I watched The Bachelor last night and just as I suspected.  Ben picked Courtney.  sigh  I knew it was coming because I have used the same tactics to get a man.  Men can not think with their big head when you control their little head.  It is a proven fact!

I do think that Courtney is sorry for how she treated the other women but not because she is a nice person that good things happen to, but because she is the most hated woman in America and Ben stopped talking to her for a month when he saw how horrible she was on the show.

LESSON LEARNED: I've been watching this show for 10 years and it's the worst piece of garbage on television.  STOP WATCHING IT! 

What lesson have you learned this week?

Let's Go To The Boat Show

BO (before Obama) we owned a house and a boat.

I didn't spend very much time on this boat because being pregnant + choppy water = Connie throwing up!

It was fun while it lasted.

Last weekend, my husband informed me that he wanted to go to the Denver Travel, Boat and RV show.  I tried offering him sex so that he'd forget about it but he didn't.

I didn't want to go because I have no desire to own a boat or RV.  Plus we don't have the money for such things even though we are living in a 990 sq ft apartment in the ghetto. I'm also afraid of running into one of my ex-husbands.

I'm convinced that people should not own boats unless they fit the following criteria.

• They are independently wealthy and have an extra $1000 a month to throw in the toilet.
• They live on a body of water so they can use it all the time.
• They are homeless and live on the boat.
• They own a boat business.

So we went to the Travel, Boat and RV show and I didn't see any of my ex-husbands but I did see an RV that was nicer than my apartment.

fireplace, kitchen island AND washer/dryer hook up

My family found a sweet party boat.

I found where the dhingy's of shame were being sold.

And we found this cool mural in the stairs!

It was a fun way to kill a couple hours and I highly recommend it....if only to see how the other half lives! 

  Disclosure: I was not paid to talk about the Denver Travel, Boat and RV show....obviously.

Just Say No

For the last three years, I've successfully discarded every American Girl Doll catalog that has made it's way to my mailbox.

I've sheltered my impressionable daughter from the phenomenon of a doll that looks kind of like her with matching clothes and pony.

I brought the mail in the other day but didn't go through it right away and to my dismay....this little gem of a catalog was lurking just below my credit card bill and an LUCKY Magazine.  Mallory found it and read all of the words she knows on the cover GIRL, STAR and FREE.

I tried to distract her with candy so that I could hide the shiny pages from her but she's too smart for me.

She found so many things that she loved inside and I tried to tell her that the items are very expensive and she should not get too excited.  And she should get a job.

She reminded me that Daddy spends lots of money on LEGOS and that she needs to have something that is for her.  When did she get so smart?

Then I saw it.

A doll that looked EXACTLY like 5 year old Connie (before my Mom cut all of my hair off) and MY BIKE!!  I had that exact bike with the same basket and streamers on the handle bars!

I WANT THAT DOLL AND THAT BIKE!

I guess I better get a job......

Note: The Banana Seat Bike is $100 and backordered until AUGUST 31ST! Also, kids didn't often wear bike helmets in the 1970's. Please wear a helmet whenever YOU ride. 

March Photo A Day

Do you Instagram?

I love snapping an in the moment picture and sharing it with all of my friends.

For a couple of months now, people have been following a list of things to take pictures of.

I decided to join this month and I think you should too.

I'm appSmitten

My daughter is helping me with this post today because she wants to be a blogger when she grows up!  Everyone say hello to Mallory!

Today, Mallory and I are going to tell you about something we're pretty excited about! We love our iPhone and iPad because we love all of the apps that we find to play with and make our lives easier.  Mallory says that her life would be ruined without apps. Mallory is very dramatic! But....she's also four.

Thanks to BlogHer, I found out about appSmitten.  With over 1 million apps in the app store (and iKeith adding more every day) it's hard to keep up with all of the cool apps for me and the kids.  I signed up for appSmitten and they are hand selecting the best apps for me and sending their recommendations directly to my inbox.  Your inbox will not be flooded...you decide how often you get the newsletter.

The great thing is that appSmitten isn't just going to send every app in the world to my inbox, they are going to focus on the best one's that are worth downloading because they don't want me to waste my money on something that is not up to my standards.  They want to make sure I'm organized, entertained and productive. They also pick apps for Android so you non-Mac people will not be left out!

You can go to their website and find the best apps by category.  I'm loving the Education section because you can narrow it down by age.  I must have at least 10 apps on my iPad that are too advanced for my kids.  This will help me pick apps for them that they can use RIGHT NOW.

Are you on twitter?  You can follow @appSmitten.

CLICK HERE and sign up today!



Disclosure:  I'm participating in an affiliate program and I get a small fee for each newsletter subscriber.

What Not To Do At a Dinner Party

About a month ago, I watched one of the Harry Potter movies....I think it was the fourth one and it had that scary smooshy faced guy who you aren't supposed to talk about in it.

I commented to my husband that he looked like our friend John.  Except John has a nose.

And then I told John's wife and then I thought the better of it and told her to please not tell John.

Over the weekend, we were all gathered together at a friends house for dinner.  Debbie had gone to the restroom and John says to me, 'so you think I'm ugly huh?'  I denied thinking this with much head shaking.  Then he said, 'you think I look like Voldermort.'

I then had to try to explain myself and reveal that I secretly have a thing for bald guys....but he wasn't having it.

Debbie came back in the midst of the chaos and I told her what happened.  And this is when she yelled at him in front of everyone that he wasn't supposed to tell me that she had told him that I thought he looked like the scary smooshy faced guy.  I guess I know who I won't be telling my deepest darkest secrets too.

And I will think twice before telling ANYONE that they look like The Dark Lord.

*******

Have you ever caught your husband looking at someone's boobs?  I have really never caught iKeith looking at another woman or he's super good at concealing it.

I snapped this picture at the same party and I captioned it.....Are you sure you don't want to hear about all of the apps I've made for the iPhone?

Someone on facebook noticed that it looks like iKeith isn't really looking into her eyes while he's talking to her.  I didn't even notice!

The Rules of Inheritance

I’ve noticed lately that when I’m picking books that I’d like to read....I’m drawn to memoirs.  Maybe it’s the blogger in me but I love reading about a period of someone’s life. The good, the bad and the ugly!

I was thrilled when the BlogHer Book Club asked me if I would read this lovely book.

The Rules of Inheritance by Claire Bidwell Smith is the story about a young girl that grows into a woman after both of her parents are diagnosed with cancer when she is fourteen. It goes through all five of the stages of grief and the journey she took to say goodbye to her parents and find a life without them.

At times this memoir is sad and heartbreaking but it is also a love story.  A woman that really gets to know her father through learning about his life before she was born and taking care of that man as he died.

It’s also a love story about Claire.  How she finally let her Mother go and through helping other people...found herself and ultimately the man that would be her husband and make her life good again.

She was stronger than she thought she was and after everything she experiences and some regrets, she finds a happy ending and someone to be her special person.

I’m a sucker for a happy ending!

If you’d like to read more about The Rules of Inheritance then please visit the BlogHer Book Club and join in the discussion.

This is a paid review for BlogHer Book Club but the opinions expressed are my own.

Making Twitter Friends Everywhere I Go

Hello Friends!  And Impulsive Addict and Seriously Shawn!

This week is already on my shitlist and it's only Tuesday.   Yesterday, my son who was sick all last week woke up crying because his ears hurt.  A trip to the doctor confirmed that he has a very bad ear infection. I also paid a $30 co-pay to have them check out my daughter who was also sick last week.  She's fine.

I just checked the What People Googled to Find My Blog list and found that someone has a burning question that only I can answer. 

What happens when you put a tampon in the wrong hole.

The answer is.....it becomes a plug.

Speaking of things that don't belong.  Remember the little story I told you on Thursday about an altercation I was in?  I checked my calendar and I'm volunteering in the classroom with that woman on Friday. Awkward!

Saturday night I went on a date with my husband. One of his co-workers is competing to be Denver's Next Improv Star! We tried to get a drink (or 3) and a bite to eat at 5 different places. We got turned away over and over because everyone and their dog was eating dinner downtown that night. We did get a table at a place called CRAVE but it was a bar that served cake and I didn't think that was the best place to take a diabetic for dinner.

We raced all over downtown and finally ended up at Rock Bottom Brewery. I found the irony. We had reached Rock Bottom in our choices. Did I mention that all of this happened while Keith's boss with us?

We had a burger and drinks and listened to Dan tell us fascinating stories about Steve Jobs. And knowing me and how inappropriate I can be....I told him he should lay on our table so we could turn the beer tap on straight into his mouth. He said that he didn't get where he was by laying under things. I told him that I'm exactly where I am by laying under things. And then I called Keith my Sugar Daddy.

Once we were in our seats at the improv show....we smelled something. Something bad. I did what I always do when I smelling something bad and I told twitter.

The guy behind me....was reading my phone over my shoulder and told me it wasn't him.   And asked me to retract my tweet.

Guy behind me who DID NOT FART took to twitter to make sure the world all 12 of his followers knew and included a picture of the person who he thought was responsible.  That person is my husband's boss.

I laughed so hard that I peed my pants!  And the show hadn't even started yet!  I am now twitter friends with Michelin.  So now he has 13 friends.

The show was very funny and our friend made it to the next round.

Good Luck Break Your Leg Lindsay!

Bachelor Ben Drinking Game: Week 8

This show is almost over and I have to say....I can't wait! I've lost all respect for Ben and the sight of Courtney makes me what to throw things at my TV.

The hometown dates are always interesting and I believe there will be lots of unhappy daddies that don't trust Ben. I think it's his hair. Who can trust a guy that looks like Moe?

Take a small sip of your drink when:

• Someone cries.
• Someone rides a horse. 
• Someone says *winning*.
• Someone wears a bow tie. 
• Someone says they are falling in love with Ben.
• Ben dresses up like a hick.
• A marching band appears. 
• Someone laughs maniacally.  Finish your drink if it's Courtney. 
• Someone you don't like gets a rose.  Finish your drink if it's Courtney

Book Club, Bachelor and a Brawl

Today is a smorgasbord of information! 

I was not able to post a recap of The Bachelor yesterday because I had a special post up about how I found the love of my life on eHarmony.  If you missed it...hop on over and check it out because I'm giving away a $100 gift card and there are two chances to win.

Bachelor Recap in one paragraph

Belize is beautiful and Ben is clueless. Lindzi gets a date where they jump from a helicopter into a blue hole and then they put a message in a bottle. Emily's date finds the happy couple catching their own lobsters and talking about Courtney. Courtney gets her own date where she shows her true colors...but Ben doesn't see them.  On the group date, after swimming with sharks,  a few girls tell Ben to tread lightly and he takes it as a person challenge. Rachel and Emily go home. It's down to the final four...Lindzi, Courtney, Kacie B and Nicki.

Book Club Announcement

Today, Mimi and I are announcing our next book club selection!  I have to tell you....I really enjoyed all of your comments and participation on the Facebook group.   MWF Seeks BFF would not been as fun to read without it!  This month we are reading......150 Pounds by Kate Rockland.

If you would like to be in the running for a copy of this book, all you have to do is leave me a comment saying I WANT THE BOOK.  I will pick the winner on Friday night!

Here's the snopsis from Amazon:

A smartly-written novel by author, Kate Rockland, of two women starting at opposite ends of the scale--and finding compromise and friendship in their journey towards 150 pounds

In the fast paced life of blogging, two women stand out: Alexis Allbright, of Skinny Chick, and Shoshana Weiner, who writes Fat and Fabulous. Both have over five million loyal readers. Both are hungry for success. But the similarities stop there. 

With over 100 pounds on the scale separating them, weight isn't their only difference. Alexis is a loner who is so bitchy the only person who can stand her company is her gay best friend Billy. She gives neurotic New Yorkers a run for their money with her strict daily workout routine, and weighing of food. Shoshana is Alexis’s opposite. Living in Jersey with rowdy roommates, she is someone who “collects friends,” as her mother puts it; and treasures a life of expanding circles...and waistlines.

When both appear as panelists on a popular talk show, their lives intersect in ways neither could have imagined. In turns comedic, heartwarming--and familiar to any woman who's ever stepped on a scale--Alexis and Shoshana realize they have far more in common than either could have possibly imagined, and more importantly, something to offer.

The Brawl

Come back tomorrow.....to hear all about a little altercation that I got into last week.

Bachelor Ben Drinking Game: Week 7

I'm really irritated with ABC today. Last night they played a never before seen episode of Pan Am out of order.  It should have aired 6 episodes ago and made for a really confusing and frustrating hour.  I guess since they are planning to cancel Pan Am they didn't care about the order.  They should have just left that one out.

Anyway, Ben and his ladies are in Belize this week.  Next week, he heads to four of their hometowns so this week is very important.  The question is....will the black widow get a rose this week?

Take a small sip of your drink when:

• Someone complains about Courtney.
• Someone cries.
• Someone risks their life on a date.
• Someone threatens bodily harm.  Finish your drink if it's Courtney.
• Someone says *winning*.
• A helicopter appears.
• Someone says they are falling in love with Ben 
• Someone laughs maniacally.  Finish your drink if it's Courtney.
• Someone swims with sharks. 
• Someone you don't like gets a rose.  Finish your drink if it's Courtney.

rock paper scissors lizard ben

Roll In The New Year....Late

If I left you hanging about the status of our lease on our apartment....I'm sorry.

We took a hard look at our finances, looked at houses for rent in the area and decided to stay for at least another year.

I was devastated!

As you know, everything happens for a reason and I know this is where God wants us to be. A week after we made that decision, we discovered that Alex may need to repeat Kindergarten. Full day Kindergarten which would cost us around $300 a month.

The good news is that we got a few things upgraded! We got a new toilet and burner pans for my stove. WHOOOO HOOOOO!

I also realized that this apartment complex gives me blog fodder once in a while and I'd miss that.

Two weeks ago, on January 31....there was a knock at the door. I looked through the peep hole and spied an old lady. She looked harmless so I opened the door. It was one of the church ladies that has adopted our complex and she had something for me.

She wants me to bring the kids to craft day in the clubhouse!  

I thought the concept for delivery of the note was very clever but also a few weeks late.

I was also ousted as the Mayor of my complex a few days ago.

And now I've made it my personal misson to oust Snoop Dog and become The Mayor again.